Bullet Train Trailer

"What in blazes did you just call me?" Jacques asked in confusion.

"A Diesel, sweetheart. He called you a Diesel." God Raven confirmed for him.

"Like a diesel tank or something?" Sun asked and Neptune shrugged.

"It's a reference to the next universe." Bill explained to them.

"A universe about Jacques Schnee being a diesel tank?" Sienna asked with a raised brow.

"Can we blow it up?" Adam asked.

"I second that preposition." Nicholas said with a raised hand.

"Why, I never!" Jacques said with folded arms.

"It's not about diesel tanks! You'd get it if you watched the story play out in its entirety." Bill explained.

"Which you won't show." Blake said.

"Yup." Bill said with a nod.

"Why exactly?" Ren asked.

"I would explain, but..." Bill paused as he teleported to his seat and started the trailer, "Ain't nobody got time for that!"

The trailer began with a scene of a bullet train speeding through the night and changed to show a bespectacled Qrow sitting down on a seat and across from him was Cardin who quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Alright, I'm invested." Qrow said as he sat up with a smirk.

"Already?" Raven asked in surprise.

"Of course. I mean, who gets to say that their alternate universe selves kicked the same kid's ass in two different universes?" Qrow asked as he pointed to himself, "This guy does."

"How do you know their even going to fight?" Vernal asked.

"His face is very punchable." Qrow said with a shrug.

"Hey!" Cardin said in offense, "Only my mom gets to say that about me."

"Your mom says your face is punchable?" Yang asked with a raised brow.

"She...she says a lot of things..." Cardin said with a sigh.

Winter let out a silent groan of disappointment to herself as she muttered, "Why does he look better in glasses?"

"Hi." Qrow stated, "There's a gun under-"

Qrow was about to say, but Cardin shushed him whilst the camera panned down to show Qrow pointing a gun at Cardin.

"Well damn." Yang said in surprise, "Not wasting any time."

"Ever take a bullet to the balls, kid?" Roman asked.

"Not really, you got experience, old man?" Cardin retorted.

"Old man!? I ain't old!" Roman shouted.

"Your wrinkles are showing, hon." Cinder told him and he covered his face with wide eyes.

"Yeah, the eyeliner wasn't helping, bud." Junior said with a shake of his head.

"Bro, this is the quiet car." Cardin informed as a sign that said 'QUIET CAR' was briefly shown, "Gotta use your small inside voice in here, son"

"There's a gun-" Qrow started to whisper, but then Cardin suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him forward.

This caused Qrow's upper body to be dragged down and he slammed his face onto the table, sitting up with a disorientated look.

"Oh! That's a migraine for sure!" Nora let out as she cringed at the hit.

"Score one for the Cardi-Man." Cardin said with a smirk.

"Get your get back, Uncle Qrow!" Ruby exclaimed.

Qrow glared at him and slapped the computer shut on Cardin's hand. He let out a pained gasped, but covered his mouth as Qrow got up, slammed his fist onto the trapped hand and socked him in the face.

"And score goes back to the Qrowlander." Qrow said with a smirk.

"What the hell are these nick names?" Adam asked with a confused sneer.

Cardin reached for his gun, but Qrow acted fast and kicked him, his leg keeping the gun in place and Cardin let out a grunt just as they were shushed by Glynda.

"Wow, it really is the quiet car." Weiss said in surprise.

"And Glynds over here would rather enforce that rule than help me as I fight for my life." Qrow said with a pointed look towards Glynda.

Glynda simply shrugged, "I seems to me as if I'm reading a good book."

They both turned to her and Qrow kept his mouth shut as Cardin gave her a friendly wave.

"What respectful...people that want to kill each other...they are." Summer said with a confused smile.

"Professionals have standards, I guess." Jaune said with a shrug.

The city of Mistral was shown at night and Qrow was then shown walking the streets whilst admiring the sights around him.

"Such a beautiful city." Willow commented.

"Has the best vacation spots around as well." Whitely added.

A laptop was shown opened by feminine hands and a beep could be heard.

"Talk to me." Raven said, answering the beep and sipping on some coffee.

"I am ready. You're getting the new and improved me." Qrow stated excitedly.

"Aw, what!? You're my handler!?" Qrow asked indignantly.

"Aw, what!? I have to babysit your ass again!?" Raven exclaimed in indignation.

"What's a handler?" Ruby asked confusedly.

"Essentially someone that gives missions to secret agents and makes sure they're doing their jobs." Blake explained.

"It's a little more detailed than that, y'know." Ironwood said to her.

Blake gave him a dry look, "Essentially."

"Because if you put peace out in the world," Qrow said as the train was shown arriving at a stop with Ren waiting for it from within the crowd, "You get peace back."

"Weren't you just fighting Cardin a second ago?" Jaune asked.

"Better yet, weren't you the one that approached him?" Pyrrha asked.

"With a gun, my guy." Nora added.

"In the quiet car." Glynda added and they looked at her dryly, "What? Respect the rules!"

Qrow opened a locker and inside he hesitantly picked up a gun as Raven spoke in his ear, "I think you might be forgetting what you do for a living."

"Alright, place your bets. What'll it be this time?" Emerald announced.

"Hitman." Ironwood stated.

"Thief." Hazel stated.

"Ooh! Ooh! Spy! He's a spy!" Ruby said excitedly.

"Mercenary?" Pyrrha guessed.

"Hippie?" Jaune guessed.

"Unlucky." Winter stated.

"Never dull moment when you're around huh, Ice Queen?" Qrow asked sarcastically.

"I truly am the life of your party, drunkard." Winter replied with a snide smirk.

"Take the gun." Raven told him, but he put it down and opted for other gadgets instead.

"Every job I do, somebody dies. I'm not that guy anymore." Qrow stated as he took off his glasses and rushed to the train.

"Some conflicts require a gun." Raven stated as Qrow barely made it into the train.

"Now that's the kind of thinking I can get behind!" Ruby said with a smirk.

"Honestly Qrow, you're from a planet where owning a gun is like owning a fork." Taiyang said to him.

"Can't you see I'm trying to be Zen, dude? Zen guys don't walk around with guns." Qrow said to him.

"I own a gun. Multiple modified ones in fact." Ren said and Nora nodded enthusiastically as she agreed.

"Not helping, kid." Qrow said through gritted teeth.

The bullet train shot forward as multiple shots of guns being loaded were shown along with a katana being drawn. Qrow stood in front of a door within the train as it slid open for him and he looked inside with a smirk.

"Hey, this is nice." Qrow comments enthusiastically.

"...Probably should've taken the gun." Qrow admitted and Raven smacked the back of his head.

"What is going on with this train?" Glynda questioned in surprise.

"Okay, what am I snatching and or grabbing?" Qrow asked as he walked through a cart then he was shown taking a briefcase from a pile of bags.

"A briefcase." Raven told him and he snuck away with the case, but Weiss looked away from her book and took notice of him "Said you wanted simple for your fist job back. Doesn't get simpler."

"Your uncle is not very inconspicuous." Weiss observed.

"You're inconpicus!" Ruby retorted defensively.

"You sure showed her Ruby." Blake said sarcastically, and Ruby gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"So you're a thief?" Roman asked with a smirk.

"Nice. I won." Hazel said with a smirk.

"Raven said it was an easy job so secret agent or mercenary could still be on the table." Summer noted and Hazel grumbled in annoyance.

Qrow was about to exit the train, but as the door slid open and angered Adam stood before him.

"You sure about that?" Ghira asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, for the love of..." Qrow said with a face palm.

"Hehe..." Adam chuckled darkly.

The sound of a bull roar could be heard as Adam made eye contact with Qrow and took out his knife. He stabbed Qrow in the chest and the stumbled back into the train crashing through the glass doors and falling to the ground.

"A minute in and you already got stabbed!?" Raven exclaimed, "Get the fuck up! Right now!"

"Wow, I didn't know you cared that much." Qrow commented.

"I don't! I'm your handler, dumbass! You die then my reputation is in the gutter!" Raven shouted.

"You don't care that your own brother just got stabbed?" Taiyang asked with a raised brow.

"I wouldn't care if he got space aids! Now get up Qrow and stop tarnishing my goddamn name!" Raven yelled.

"Space aids?" Jaune asked and Pyrrha shrugged in confusion.

Adam pulled the knife back and he looked to see that Qrow's phone had protected him from a lethal blow.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Qrow laughed, "Nice try, bullshit for brains!"

Adam grit his teeth and glared at Qrow, "You're a lucky bastard, y'know that?"

"Quite the opposite actually, but I'll take the compliment." Qrow said with a wink that enraged Adam even more.

"Aim for the head next time." Salem commented with an eye roll.

"You stabbed me?" Qrow asked in surprise.

"Yes, he did." Melanie confirmed.

"You gonna take that?" Miltia asked.

Adam charged at him again, but this time Qrow was ready and he began to block with the briefcase, fighting back by hitting Adam in the jaw with it and redirecting a fatal blow by causing him to stab a counter top. He took advantage of this opportunity and hit Adam in the knee with the case, flipped it up and hit him in the neck, trapping him in between seats.

"Okay, that was just flat out stylish." Roman said with a smirk.

"He's so smooth with it." Emerald added, impressed by the skills he possessed.

"If he didn't look like a hobo that just discovered a thrift shop then maybe I'd be more impressed." Cinder said with a shrug.

"How was that sis?" Qrow asked with a smirk.

"1 point for the creativity. -100 because he's still breathing." Raven said with a glare.

"I will ruin your life the way you ruined mine." Adam stated as he pushed against the case.

"Dude!" Qrow shouted as Adam shoved the case away and tackled Qrow, picking him up in the process and tossing over the bar counter, "I don't even know you!"

"Too drunk to remember?" Winter guessed.

"Maybe too stupid." Glynda said with a shrug.

"Typical Adam. Angry for little to no reason." Yang said with a sigh and he glared at her, "What? It's true."

Masked men were shown firing machine guns at the conductor cabin then Qrow was shown on a phone call as he walked through the carts.

"There's nothing simple about this job." Qrow stated as a car was shown spinning and two other cars flipped in the air and landed on the ground in massive explosions and an exchange of suitcases was shown.

"Seriously, what's the deal with this train!?" Neptune exclaimed.

"I don't know, but listening to the song choice might be the best chance of survival right now." Ruby said.

"Stayin' aliiiiveee!" Sun sang.

"Something else is going on here." Raven stated as Yakuza photo was shown being taken then the briefcase was shown being handed to someone in a shady deal.

"Yeah, I'm not the only one on this train, looking for this case." Qrow stated as Ozpin was shown drawing his blade from his katana, Jaune and Cardin were shown walking through the train, Nicholas looked up with sunglasses on and Weiss was shown firing a gun at the camera.

"So, Qrow might be some kind of agent and I'm guessing the train is just full of some very bad people?" Ruby guessed.

"We named a bunch of occupations that this Qrow might have, but most likely everyone involved in this whole story could be any of them." Pyrrha stated.

"Wallahi, this job was supposed to be simple." Qrow whined with comical tears.

"Wallahi, my career is ruined because my idiot brother's gonna get himself killed." Raven whined with comical tears as well.

"Cards," Jaune said and Cardin hummed as he looked at him with Whitley sitting next to him, "Where's the briefcase?"

"Oh, I stashed it." Cardin stated and Qrow was shown walking away with the case as a shot of Jaune angrily looking at Cardin as they discovered that the case had been taken was shown.

"It was just here." Cardin stated.

"You stashed it when there's a professional thief on the train?" Jaune asked with gritted teeth.

"How was I supposed to know that hobo hot topic was going to rob us?" Cardin asked gritting his teeth as well.

"Hey!" Qrow exclaimed in offence.

"I'm happy you two are finally working together, but you are unfortunately at the moment the pinnacle of incompetence." Oobleck observed.

"Hey!" Both Jaune and Cardin exclaimed in offence.

Jaune was shown slicing up a grunt with a machete as Adam socked a man in the face.

"We are right on schedule." Weiss stated as someone on top of the train pulled the pin of a grenade.

"Everyone on this train is gonna end up dead, aren't they?" Cinder asked with an amused smirk.

"With how over the top the stakes are getting, I don't the train might even survive at this point." Nanny Glynda said with a chuckle.

"Everything that's ever happened to you." Ozpin stated as he spoke to Qrow and a shot of Qrow shoving Cardin's face against a passenger side window was shown.

"This is gonna sting, bitch!" Kali shouted as she brought down her claws on Qrow who blocked the strike with the case.

"Wow," Blake said in surprise, "Go mom."

"Dear~" Ghira said with a smirk.

Kali blushed and waved them off with a giggle, "This version of myself still seems to be in our younger days."

Jaune and Cardin discovered Whitley's bloodshot body and reeled back in surprise.

"Darn it." Whitley cursed.

"The most unfortunate part of this showing." Winter lamented.

"No...my baby..." Willow said with a surprised and saddened gasp.

"Eh, we can always make more." Jacques said with a shrug.

"Has led you here." Ozpin stated whilst Qrow was shown punching a giant mascot in the face as a car collided with another and exploded.

"Oh no! Kitty!" Penny exclaimed with a gasp of surprise.

Ozpin was then shown battling Nicholas with their katana then a station near the train blew up.

"Why does this universe look so fun!?" Ruby exclaimed with an enamored gaze.

"Fate." Ozpin stated to Qrow.

"Well, that's a shit deal." Qrow said with a frown.

"It is what it is." Ozpin said with a shrug and a smile.

"Well, that's a shit deal." Qrow stated.

"Exactly!" Qrow exclaimed in agreement, glad his alternate self was aware of and could smell the bullshit.

"These universes make us so different, but so similar at the same time." Amber said with an impressed smile.

BULLET TRAIN

"Another fitting name added to the board." Yang said with a smirk.

Qrow was shown fighting Jaune and he hit him in the face with a seafood platter. They were about to throw things at one another, but stopped when Neo stepped in with a cart full of food and drinks.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Put the pots and pans down and let the nice lady do her job." Roman said with a threatening tone.

'Thanks a bunch, boys.' Neo typed out and showed the sign with a wink.

Neo looked at the two of them and gestured to the cart, suggesting any food or drinks they could partake.

"Oh, no thank you." Jaune said politely.

"Y'know what? Do you have, uh, anything alcoholic?" Qrow asked and Neo handed him a glass bottle of whiskey, "That's the one. Thank you."

"Seriously?" Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow.

"She offered." Qrow said with a shrug.

"Why am I not surprised?" Winter asked with a sigh as Raven face palmed.

Jaune watched and waited as Qrow chugged the whiskey straight from the bottle and paused to look at him.

"I'm surprised you're waiting for him." Ren commented.

"I'm surprised he's drinking that shit like its water." Junior said with an impressed smirk.

"I'm not." Qrow's team, the teachers and Winter let out in unison.

"You sure you don't wanna talk this out?" Qrow asked.

"Not particularly, no." Jaune responded.

"Ahh, okay." Qrow said with a sigh as he closed up the bottle and threw it across the room, hitting Jaune directly in the head.

"Shouldn't have waited." Yang said in hindsight.

"I was trying to be a professional combatant." Jaune whined.

"And now you have a professional concussion. Nice." Yang retorted.

They continued to fight and eventually the emergency door button was pressed and the door blew off its hinges, dragging Qrow and Jaune outside. Qrow held onto the door frame whilst Jaune held onto his leg while the train travelled at high speeds.

"What the what!?" Jaune exclaimed in shock and awe.

"That really escalated quickly." Glynda summarized.

"Sums up this whole universe to be honest." Summer said with a nod.

Bill teleported to the front with a twist of his cane, "What you think about that?"

"Pretty freaking crazy to say the least." Cardin said.

"It honestly re-cemented my reason for never being a part of a team with this one." Raven said as she angrily pointed at Qrow.

"Oh boohoo, you might lose your job, so what? Unemployment cheques hit different anyway." Qrow said with a shrug.

"You would know." Raven retorted with narrowed eyes.

"I would." Qrow replied uncaringly and Raven face palmed.

"I still don't get the reference you made to this universe." Yang said to him.

"At this point, you might never, anyway!" Bill exclaimed, loading up the next one.

"What's next?" Ruby asked excitedly.

"I'm making it clear that it's the most wonderful time of the year. It's a story about a man that is quite a sight, told in one violent night." Bill foretold.