Justice League Dark - Poker Scene

Cast:

John Constantine - Roman Torchwick

Jason Blood/Etrigan - Hazel Reinhart

"You know," Zack said. "Speaking of hell, let's watch someone who deals with demons on a daily basis."

"A demon hunter?" Nicolas asked.

Zack chuckled. "Only when it suites him. Most of the time he's the world's greatest con man."

"Sounds like my kind of guy," Roman said.

"Of course, you would like someone like that," Cinder said.

"Bollocks," Roman said as he threw away his cards. "In what bloody plain of existence does four of a kind lose?"

"HIM!" everyone shouted.

"I'm a guy who cons demons on a daily basis?" Roman said. "YES!"

Neo patted him on the back in congratulation.

"Sounds like you're losing that game though," Junior said.

"Just watch," Roman said. "I'll make a comeback."

"That's Roman-speak for he'll cheat," Emerald said.

The big pile of chips and cash on the table was pulled in by Abnegazar.

"Too, too bad, Tor-ch-wick," Rath said before chuckling.

"Have you gained weight?" Ghast asked. "It looks good on you."

"I don't know," Roman said as he looked down at himself. "Neo, do I look a bit pudgy in this suit?"

Neo shook her head.

"It's all the cocktails I tell you," Melanie said.

"What say you let your soul mate play a few hands, Hazel?" Roman said. "Maybe it'll change my luck. He'll definitely be less mopey than you."

"What am I doing there?" Hazel asked.

"Playing, obviously," Watts said.

"Roman Torchiwick," Hazel said. "The man who perfected the bad idea. The only reason I came to this down heap of a casino is to find a relic to keep that monster locked away forever."

"Hey!" Roman complained.

"Sounds like someone can't handle the truth," Tyrian said.

"Since when did I have bad ideas?" Roman said as he pointed at Cinder. "All of my bad ideas started out as hers."

"Boys, boys, you're boring me," Abnegazar said as he used magic to shuffle the cards. "Let's play, shall we?"

Roman looked at his cards, hid them and pushed his remaining chips to the middle of the table.

Abnegazar used magic to change his cards to a winning hand.

"Cheater!" Ruby pointed accusingly.

"Please, everyone cheats in a casino," Jacques said.

"Just depends on how good you are at it," Qrow said.

"Qrow hasn't had a lucky hand a day in his life," Summer whispered.

"That's a fact," Raven nodded.

"Haha, my luck is running as up as me naughty bits," Abnegazar said. "Aw, but our next group of friends is due to arrive. So, it's time to bust you out."

"Copperfield's coming," Rath said. "Presto chango. Woman in a box. In. A. Box."

"Grr, he's classy," Ghast said. "Unlike you."

"Oi, I'm classy!" Roman said.

"It's the makeup," Mercury said. "Makes you look gay."

"See if I do anything nice for you," Roman sulked as Neo patted him on the back.

"You don't," Mercury said.

"Are they implying David Copperfield, television magician, has true power?" Hazel said.

"Owns a chain of islands and dated Claudia Schiffer, what do you think?" Roman replied.

"Sounds like he does," Cardin said.

Hazel conceded his point.

Abnegazar pushed all his chips and cash into the middle.

"No cards for me," Abnegazar said. "Aw... looks like you can't call my bet, Torchwick. By my rules, you lose."

"Looks like you lose," Saphron said.

"And this is why you don't gamble," Glynda said.

"Unless you're gambling clothing, then gamble all you want," Amber said.

"Why are you being a bad example for the children?" Ozpin asked.

"Like your students don't play strip poker," Amber scoffed.

"It's true," Coco nodded.

Roman placed his hand over the Abnegazar's, stopping him from taking all the chips and cash. "I raise."

"With what?" Abnegazar asked. "Your ratty soul ain't worth two bits."

"Not two bits," Rath said before laughing.

"Especially with how much it's gone around," Zack said.

"Are you saying Roman gambled his soul before?" Salem asked.

"Gambled nothing," Zack grumbled. "The man has a favour owed him by the fucking Devil himself."

"He beat the Devil!?" Adam said.

"More importantly, he knows the Devil!?" Velvet yelled.

"Nice guy," Jaune said. "Opens a club these days, well until stuff happened."

"Great, I have competition with the Devil himself," Junior grumbled.

"I'm betting the House," Roman said. "The House of Mystery."

The demons looked out the window, where a manor appeared, floating in the air.

"And since I'm including everything inside, it looks like you're the one who can't call, Abnegazar," Roman said.

Neo dope slapped Roman.

"It's not even your house," Roman complained.

Neo just shot him a "I am not amused" look.

"Nice digs," Miltia said.

"I want to plunder it of everything not nailed down," Emerald said. "Then come back with a crowbar for the rest."

"I don't have a floating, magic house," Jacques mumbled. "I need one."

The Demons Three had a short discussion.

"Well, what do you say, boys?" Abnegazar asked.

"I like the action," Ghast said.

The three clasped hands and opened a portal, Abnegazar retrieving a chest from it.

Abnegazar placed the chest on the table and opened it. "I call."

Roman stood up and took a jewel from the chest. "Really? A chipped Dream Stone?"

"I'm out," Hazel said.

"Broken knick-knacks for the House of Mystery and its contents," Roman said. "Are you mad?"

"He found exactly what he was looking for," Roman said.

"Really, a weird looking ruby?" Weiss said.

"Wha?" Ruby asked.

"Not you, the gem," Blake said.

"I've got a working soul catcher," Abnegazar said. "That's Ogid's eye spiker, eh?

And the Garazi. So even if that very magical dream stone doesn't work, it's still a big arse ruby."

Roman threw the dream stone back into the chest. "I'd be a poor sport indeed if I didn't accept your fair wager."

Roman laid out his cards. The Demons Three laughed.

"Hell," Abnegazar said. "Now, that's a losing hand for the ages. Now, read them and... What?"

Abnegazar's hand changed back to their original numbers.

"Do they have an eye doctor in hell?" Roman asked as he closed the chest. "I'd make an appointment if I was you."

"Well, guess I get to keep the house and get the treasure," Roman said.

"I'm pretty sure demons don't take well to losing," Sienna said.

"Well, I'm sure the other me can handle it," Roman said. "And there's always muscles over there."

"I'm not lifting a finger for you," Hazel said.

"You cheated!" Abnegazar smashed the table, sending Roman flying back.

"Technically, we both cheated," Roman said. "I just did it better."

"Yup," Junior said. "They're going to rip your arms off."

"Oh, yee of little faith," Roman said.

"I'll rip your bloody heart out!" Abnegazar yelled.

"Sorry, mate, I'm using that," Roman said, grabbing one of the dropped artefacts. Pointing it at the demon, he fired a blast of ice, freezing his eyes.

"Looks like something you would use," Yang said to Weiss.

Roman jumped over the bar, using his acquired artefact to send out blasts of ice at the demons.

Abnegazar ripped off the ice from his eyes and summoned his axe.

Roman kept using the ice dagger until it started freezing him instead.

"And this is why you don't use magical artefacts you don't know about," Ozpin said.

"Didn't you once had to deal with a sorcerer turning people into newts?" Salem asked.

"It was a witch," Ozpin said. "A long time ago. Even got turned into one for a brief period of time."

Everyone looked at him.

"I got better," Ozpin said. "Then set said witch on fire. A duck was involved. Don't ask."

"Situation here, Hazel," Roman said as he dropped the dagger. "It's time to call your better half."

"Sorry, Roman, you're on your own," Hazel said from behind the pillar he was hiding.

"Some friend you are!" Roman said.

"We're not friends," Hazel said. "And you had this coming."

Ghast smashed the bar counter, forcing Roman to hide somewhere else. The pillar he was hiding behind got destroyed by Abnegazar, forcing him to run elsewhere.

"Oi, I'm gonna roast your nuts and feed them to you, Torchwick," Abnegazar threatened.

"That's a new one," Tyrian said.

"I'm using that," Vernal said.

Roman used a spell on Hazel, forcing him to repeat what he said.

"Oh, you wanker," Hazel growled.

"Hey now, you do what you have to do to survive," Roman said.

"So, is this like a Hulk scenario or something?" Oobleck asked.

"Something like that," Zack said.

"Gone, gone, the form of man."

"Arise the demon, Etrigan!" Etrigan finished, taking over from Hazel.

Breathing fire into his hands, Etrigan summoned his weapons.

"Once more with words of metered rhyme,

comes Etrigan the slayer just in time."

"He rhymes!" Nora said. "I'm going to do that from now on!"

"What, come up with rhymes every time you enter a battle?" Fox asked.

"At least it's better than puns," Jaune said.

"Easy now, brother," Rath said uneasily at the sight of the more powerful demon. "We're on the same side, right?"

"Let's use our words," Ghast said.

"Are you having a laugh?" Abnegazar said. "We're the Demons Three. Kill everyone!"

Etrigan leaped forward, smashing Abnegazar to the ground with his landing. Flipping back, he breathed fire on the other two and decapitated them.

Ghast and Rath's heads rolled over to where Roman was picking up his ill acquired goodies.

"Should have used their words," Clover said.

"Hmm..." Salem looked at Hazel analytically.

"Please don't merge me with a Grimm," Hazel said.

"HMMM..." Salem went back to the screen.

"It was nice knowing you," Watts said, very insincerely.

"You will pay, Constantine," Rath said.

"Your soul will be ours," Ghast said.

"Get in line, you prats," Roman said.

"Yup, the line of people who Roman has conned and pissed off is miles long," Zack said.

"Once, he even conned his way into getting his cancer cured," Jaune said.

"How did he manage that?" Robyn asked.

"By being his usual charming, scamming self," Nora said.

Etrigan made short work of Abnegazar, stabbing him in the chest with his sword.

A portal opened up underneath Abnegazar, taking him and his minions back to Hell.

"Your ass is grass, Constantine," Ghast said.

"And we're the lawnmower," Rath said before both of them entered the portal.

"Well, that was rather exciting," Roman said.

Hazel just punched him. Hard.

"And what have we learned?" Ozpin asked.

"Never go against Roman when death is on the line?" Oscar said.

"No, that's against Atlesians," Weiss said.

"Never play against known scam artists," Yang said.

"Bingo," Zack said. "And now for something completely different."