house of wax

you've poisoned me, you've poisoned my thoughts,
and now i can't tell what's really there.
maybe you couldn't tell what i really felt, but i know you had some idea.
you joked about it, you told me things.
you let me be close to you.
you were my wonderland.
but i never tried to reach you.
and while i waited, i realized who you were.
you weren't my wonderland at all, you were my hell
paved with good intentions.
i thought i loved you, you thought i was fun.
i'm sorry i made it strange for you,
but it's harder for me to even say the words.
to say, "i don't love you anymore."
to say, "maybe i never did."
to see the pain in your eyes.
but you've given me so much guilt, and for what?
because i let you drag me around?
because i hated who i was around you?