" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"So this is the castle... Yeah, it must be the one... It's in complete shambles."

Guard: HALT ! State your business or leave !

"I am an adventurer from the nearby town of Axel ! I have a message for the demon king army's general that established himself here !"

Guard: ... Wait here.

'... Well, that was easy.'

Dullahan: Ah, I see it didn't take long for you to make your decision. It take it you're here to beg me to remove the curse I put on your friend, right ?

"Well, actually, no. It has already been lifted."

Dullahan: ... What ?

"We DO have an Archpriest in our party, you know ? It was lifted literally minutes after you left. Just thought you'd like to know it."

Dullahan: So what, are you here to rub that on my face ? Than everything I did meant nothing ?!

"What ? No ! I just wanted to tell you, there was no need to wait for an entire week, we won't come to challenge you. You don't have to waste time or energy for that."

Dullahan: Oh... Well, that's very... Polite of you to do that... Thank you, I guess ?

"Anytime."

Dullahan: ... You know, I haven't been planning to kill you, just invite you around my table and discuss all that matter.

"... I'm not particularly in a hurry right now..."

Dullahan: YOU'RE KIDDING ME !!

"I'm not ! She's so useless even cabbages can defeat her and make her cry ! Funniest shit I've ever seen !"

Dullahan: BWAHAHAHAHAHA !! To think she managed to undo my curse !

"I know right ?!"

Kazuma: It's already night... he told us to wait until tomorrow dusk to look for him... But I'm just too worried.

Papyrus: Do not ! I, the great Papyrus, will retrieve him safe and sound ! Undyne, do you see anything from up there ?

Undyne: I do !! I think it's the Dullahan coming back ! But there's someone with him !

Kazuma: Someone else ?

Undyne: I don't know what's happening, but they seem to be staggering !

Papyrus: There must've been some formidable battle going on, if a demon king's general can't walk straight.

Dullahan: ... Y- Yu knooow... W- Wheen I'm deztroying ze tooown *Hips* When I do... I... I'll kil yu laast... Because you... You, yu're my friend...

"*Sob* BeldiaaAAAaaaAAAaaa... Y- Yu Tooooooooo..."

Kazuma: Are... Are they drunk... ?!

Beldia: Welp, I'm *Hips*... I'm guing. Shay hai to wij for me, okaaay ?

"I VILLLLLLLLLLL !! *Hips*"

Kazuma: H- Hey you ! What happened ?!

"Oh... Hai Kajumaaa... Y'know, B- Beldia's a nish guyy when yu know hiim... I'm shleepy... G'night."

*Poomph*

Undyne: ... What just happened ?

Asgore: Don't ask me, I have no idea either...

Aqua: I want to take a quest ! It's fine even if it's a bit hard, let's take a quest !!

Kazuma: Huh...

"Face it, you're only saying that because you have debts. How much booze are you gulping down, seriously, you're the only with an empty wallet, you know ?"

Aqua: Please, I beg you ! I don't want to work anymore ! The store owner gets mad if I don't sell all the croquettes ! I'll work hard ! I'll do my best this time !

Kazuma: Fine, fine... Then look and see if there are any quests that look fine. We'll go with you if the quest isn't too bad.

Megumin: ... Shouldn't you at least look too ? If you leave this to Aqua, she'll probably pick an incredibly dangerous quest...

Darkness: I wouldn't mind if the quest was a bit hard...

"Of course you wouldn't... We should check."

Aqua: Hmmmm... This one !

"Aight, let me see. *Hunting the manticore and Griffon: A Manticore and a Griffon are fighting for territory. It is dangerous to leave them alone, please hunt them both. 500,000 Eris bounty.*..."

Aqua: So ? Good idea, right ?

"... *sigh*."

https://youtu.be/T8Eu15L3mdE

"You really want us dead, do you ?"

Aqua: Ehh ?! But all we need is for Megumin to hit them with an Explosion while they're together to settle it in one shot ! Why are you so scared... ?"

"And how exactly were you planning to lure them so she could use the Explosion ?"

Aqua: *Profusely sweating*

"Thought so. Pick one that wouldn't involve one of us dying please."

Kazuma: So ?

"You want to meet Eris in the near future ? If not then we should probably choose one in her place..."

Aqua: This one ! Look at this one !

"*Lake Purification: the lake which was one of the water sources for the town has been polluted. Brutal alligators have moved into the lake. We request for someone to purify the lake. The monsters in the lake will leave after purifying it, so there is no need to fight these monsters. Requirement: Priest with purification magic. 300,000 eris reward.*"

Kazuma: You can purify the lake ?

Aqua: Idiot. Who do you think I am ? From my name and appearance, you should be able to tell what kind of goddess I am, right ?

"Goddess of party tricks ? Goddess of debts ? Goddess of frogs bait ? I can go on, you know ?"

Aqua: I'm the goddess of water, you NEETs !! Can't you see my beautiful blue eyes and hair ?!

Kazuma: Let's say we take this one. Wouldn't you alone suffice, if it's just purifying the lake ? You can hog all the rewards this way, right ?

Aqua: Well... The monsters will harass me while I'm purifying the water, right ? Before I finish the purification, I hope you all can protect me from them.

"So that's the plan. But 'Brutal alligator'... If they had to add that adjective to an alligator, they must be extremely dangerous. How long would the purification take ? Five minutes or so ?"

Aqua: ... About... Half a day... ?

"Too long. Can't take it. Ima putting it back."

Aqua: Ahhh ! Please, I beg of you ! There's no other quest that's as good ! Please help meeeee !!

Kazuma: Wait. How does the purification process work ?

Aqua; Ehh ? To purify the water, I just need to touch it with my hand and continuously cast purification magic...

Kazuma: So you only need to touch the water... I think there's a way to purify the water safely. Do you want to give it a try ?

"... I'm all ears."

"Yeah, I can see why this water isn't suited for the town anymore. It's all murky and stagnant. Thought monsters would prefer clean water... Interesting."

Kazuma: Listen, if you want to make a thesis about the monsters of this world, I won't stop you, but we're quite in the middle of something right now.

Aqua: H- Hey... Are we really going to do it this way ?

Aqua: I feel like a captured rare monster that's going to be sold...

"Who would want to purchase you ? This is just so you can get in the lake without fearing those alligators. You said you could stay at the bottom of the lake for a day without breathing, right ? Then there's no problem."

Kazuma: Still, it was the guild that loaned this for us, so try not to damage it too much, okay ? Just, if the monsters' attacks really are unbearable, let us know and we'll pull the chain !

"Oh, I definitely think we'll know."

Aqua: ... I feel like a tea bag being drained of its flavor...

"Don't worry about that, you're just like water."

Aqua: I'm pure and delicate ?

"You're tasteless and bland."

"Two hours in... How is the purification device doing ?"

Kazuma: I'll check. Hey Aqua ! How is the purification going ? Is it cold staying in the lake ? Give a holler if you want to go to the restroom ! We'll get you out of the cage !

Aqua: Purification is proceeding smoothly ! And I don't need to go to the restroom ! Archpriests don't go to the restroom !

Kazuma: She seems fine.

Megumin: B- By the way, Crimson demons don't need to use the restroom either.

"Hey, Kazuma ?"

Kazuma: Yes ?

"I think we should tell Eris about this one, because I have no idea who the fuck asked."

Darkness: As a Crusader, I also don't... Need to go... Ugh...

Kazuma: Don't you dare compete with these two. And speaking of, if that's the case, you won't mind if we take a quest that can't be completed in a day, right ? Since there wouldn't be any problem.

Megumin: Don't... Don't do that, okay ? Crimson demons really doesn't use the restroom ! But I apologize, so don't do that... By the way, the brutal alligators aren't showing up. It would be great it things end peacefully like this.

"... Three, two, one..."

Aqua: G- GUYS ! Something's coming over ! No, lots of things are coming here !!

"Anything worth waking up ?"

Kazuma: They're really similar to Earth's alligator. But they move in a group.

"*Yawn*"

Aqua: PURIFICATION !! PURIFICATION !! PURIFICATION !!

"Seriously, can't even take a nap... For how long as they been going at it already ?"

Kazuma: Two hours or so. This cage is really durable, to hold out like that.

Aqua: PURIFICATION !! PURIFICATION !! THE CAGE IS CREAKING ! THE CAGE IS MAKING WEIRD SOUNDS !!

Kazuma: Aqua ! Tell us if you want to give up ! We'll drag you along with the cage using the chain !

Aqua: I- I don't want to ! Giving up now means I won't be able to get paid for my time ! Purification ! Purificati- THERE WAS A CRACKING SOUND ! THE CAGE MADE A SOUND NO CAGE SHOULD BE MAKING !!

"You have to give it to her, I don't think a lot of people would agree to spent two hours in a cage attacked by alligators, even for money."

Darkness: ... Staying in that cage seems rather good...

"Don't you dare thinking about it."

"Hey, it was faster than we expected. It only lasted for 7 hours instead of twelve. Good job."

Kazuma: She hasn't been making a single noise for an entire hour now... Hey Aqua, are you all right ? The brutal alligators have left for some other place.

Aqua: ... *Sob*... Ugh... Hic...

"I diagnose Aqua with PTSD and great trauma. Aqua ? It's time to come out of the cage. The alligators are all gone."

Aqua: ... Like this...

"... Oh..."

Kazuma: What did she say ?

"She said the world outside of the cage is scary, so she wants us to bring her back to town as she is."

Kazuma: ... We should stick to beginner's quests from now on.

"Agreed."