" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aqua: Do na do na do-na-do-na-...

"We're already in town, aqua, so please stop singing that song. Dragging along a battered cage with a woman hugging her knees inside brings way too much attention to us for my taste."

Aqua: Don't want to. This is my holy realm. The world outside is scary, so I don't think I'll be coming out for a while.

"You do realize that it's because of you that we're going so slowly."

Kazuma: Apart from Aqua's psychological trauma, there was no damage worth mentioning. I wanted to test out equipment and spells... But we still finished that quest leisurely, so it's good in the end.

"You just had to point out the fact there wasn't any trouble, did you ?"

???: L- Lady Goddess ! Is that really you ? What are you doing in such a place ?!

"Umm, who are-"

*CREAAAAAAAAK*

"... Kazuma, we agree those bars held tight for several hours under the constant assaults of those alligators, right ?"

Kazuma: Yup.

"And that guy bend them with his bare hands like nothing."

Kazuma: Yuuup.

"And he has the typical 'Manga protagonist' looks."

Kazuma: Yuuuuuuuuuuup...

Darkness: Hey, don't act familiar with my companion. Who are you ? If she knew you, why is Aqua not reacting at all ?

"Why can't you act that way more often ? Right now you're being a proud crusader, but when there's danger you're just..."

Kazuma: Hey Aqua, it's someone you know, right ? He called you goddess just now. Go and handle that man.

Aqua: ... Goddess... Ah ! Goddess ! That's right, I'm a goddess. And ? What problems do you want this goddess to settle ? You guys are really helpless !

Kazuma: So it was that easy, huh...

"Note for later, when she's feeling down, remember to stroke her ego."

Aqua: ... ... Who are you ?

Kyouya: W- Why are you saying this, lady Goddess ! It's me, Mitsurugi Kyouya ! I received the magic sword, Gram, from you !

Aqua: Eh ?

'Seriously, even his voice sounds like a protagonist's...'

Aqua: ... Ah ! Yes, there was such a person ! Sorry, I totally forgot about you. I sent a lot of people here, so it can't be helped if I forgot !

Kyouya: O- Oh... I see... It's been a while, Lady Aqua. As your chosen hero, I've been working hard every day. My job is sword master, and I'm already at level 37... Oh, right, what is lady Aqua doing here ? Or rather, why were you locked in a cage ?

"I don't like the way he's looking at us right now. Makes me want to show him a bad time."

Kazuma: Does he thinks we're the ones who locked her in the cage ?

"Isn't exactly wrong, if you think about it... But even if we told him she was the one who didn't want to get out, he wouldn't believe us."

Kyouya: ... Preposterous ! This is too illogical !! What were you thinking, bringing lady Aqua to this world ?! And you locked her in a cage and threw her in the lake for this quest ?!

Aqua: H- Hey, what are you doing ? This is nothing. I'm living every day happily, and am not angry about being brought to this world anymore ! And I can go back after defeating the demon king ! Today's quest was a bit scary, but it was resolved smoothly. No one was hurt and the reward is 300,000. 300,000 ! And everyone said they would let me take all of it !

Kyouya: Lady Aqua... I don't know how they talked you into this, but you're being treated too illogically. After such a sacrifice, you only earned 300,000... ? You are a goddess ! For a goddess to be treated this way... By the way, where do you sty at night ?

"Never in my life would I imagine someone in their right mind would call her 'Lady' Aqua."

Kazuma: You call that "Right mind" ? If only she didn't spew all that crap about being a chosen hero to him...

Aqua: W- With everyone, in the stables...

Kyouya: Huh... ? ... You !!

"That hurts. Now let go of me, if you want to keep your hands attached to you."

Darkness: Hey, watch yourself ! You've been unreasonable all this while. This must be the first time you've met them, so there should be a limit to how rude you can be !

"That has to be a first... You, Darkness, being genuinely angry ? Instead of spouting nonsense ?"

Megumin: ... Oh, Darkness blacker than black, and darker than dark...

Kazuma: Wait, wait, NONONONONONONONO !!

Kyouya: ... Crusader and an Archwizard ? And... They look rather good, too. Seems that you two had great luck in finding companions, but that doesn't make sense. Don't you feel ashamed in letting Aqua and these two excellent members sleep in the stables ? If I remember correctly, you two are... Adventurer and Summoner, right ?

"You just used the word 'Excellent' to describe them. that's another one for the 'Poor judgement' bingo, alongside Lady Aqua."

Kazuma: Are you implying our situation looks great to you ? Do we seem lucky to you ?

"Annnnd that's a third one. isn't staying in the stables the norm for adventurers in this world, though ? Why is this guy so mad ?"

Aqua: I think... He was granted a powerful sword hen he was transported to this world, and completed a bunch of high-difficulty quests from the beginning. He probably had no worries about money...But that's the usual case for people with special abilities or equipment.

Kazuma: So the guy who didn't undergo any hardship because of a powerful sword gifted to him... is acting all high and mighty to us who had to work hard from the very start."

"My irritation and need to blast him away are rising in sync. He's seriously tickling my funny bone."

Kyouya: It must have been hard on you all so far. Please join me from now on. Of course, I won't let you all sleep in the stables, and will buy the full set of premium equipment for you. The balance of the team is great. Me as a Swordmaster, my warrior comrade and you as a crusader; along with my thief comrade, this Archwizard and Lady Aqua. What a perfect combination, it's a match made in Heaven !

"Wow... Never thought we were in fact background characters... Looks like the hair color isn't everything in the end."

Kazuma: At least you have a special one... he might be a self-centered hero, but the terms he's offering aren't bad. It'd be an easier route than going with us to defeat the Demon King...

Aqua: ... It feels wrong. The self-righteous way in which he talks made me cringe. And his narcissistic tendencies frighten me.

Darkness: What should we do ? I feel physically repulsed by this man for some reason. I prefer active people over passive ones, but somehow that guy makes me want to beat him up.

Megumin: Can I cast my magic ? Can I throw an explosion spell into the face of that elite who's talking down to us without ever experiencing a day of hardship ?

"For the last time, using Explosion within and around the town is forbidden !"

Megumin: Owowowowowow !

Aqua: hey, Kazuma, let's hurry to the guild, okay ? I might've been the one who gave him the powerful sword, but I think it would be better not to get too close with such people.

Kazuma: Well. It looks like they aren't keen to join your party. We still need to report the completion of the quest, so we'll take our leave... ... please move out of the way.

Kyouya: pardon me, but lady aqua is the one who bestowed this sword to me. And seeing my benefactor who granted me power fall to such a state, I can't simply ignore it. You can't save the world, the one to defeat the demon king will be me. It would be better for lady Aqua to follow me... You said you chose Aqua as the item to be brought along to this word with you, right ?

Kazuma: Yes, so ?

Kyouya: If that's the case, then how about making a bet ? You chose lady Aqua as the "thing" to be brought along with you, right ? If I win, you must give lady Aqua to me. If you win, I can promise you one thing. Anything.

Kazuma: Okay, I accept ! Take this !

Kyouya: Eh ? Wait ! Hold- !

Kazuma: STEAL !!

"Hm ? Did something happen ?"

Megumin: OW !

Kazuma: I just hit the jackpot !

*ZBUNK*

"Wow... Luck really does play a part, if you managed to get his sword."

Kazuma: I know, right ? I always hit the jackpot !

Thief: Y- You scumbag ! Scumbag ! Scumbag !!

Warrior: How dirty ! You're the worst, scumbag ! can't you fight honorably ?

"Honor ? Honor is for when you're fighting as opponents of equal strength. What he was doing back there was basically picking on someone weaker than him."

Kazuma: Let them shout, this feels like music to my ears. No matter what, I won, and this guy said he would promise anything if he lost, right ? Then I'll be taking this sword.

Thief: What ?! What absurd things are you saying ?! Only Kyouya can use that magic sword ! That sword chooses its owner, and it chose Kyouya as its master ! The blessing of the sword won't work on you !

Kazuma: Wait, is that true ? I can't use the spoils of war ? And here I was thinking that I had finally gotten a strong piece of equipment.

Aqua: It's true. Regrettably, the sword Gram is the exclusive weapon of that unpleasant guy. It bestows one with arm strength beyond the human limits when equipped, and the sword is a sharp weapon that can cut through steel like a vegetable. But in your hands, this would just be a normal sword.

Kazuma: I see... Well, I'll be on my way then. Tell that guy when he wakes up that he was the one who wanted the duel, so no complaints... All right, let's go to the guild for the bounty, guys.

Warrior: Y- You, hold it right there !

Thief: Give Kyouya's sword back ! We won't acknowledge your win !

Kazuma: Ahh...

Kazuma: I'm an advocate of true gender equality, a guy who has no problem doling out a dropkick to a female opponent. Don't think I'll go easy on you... I'll unleash my Steal ability right here in public.

Thief: Huh ?

Warrior: Wh- Wha ?

Kazuma: Hehehehe... So, what will it be ? Come on, come on !

Girls: K- KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH !!!

Kazuma: Hehehe...

"Kazuma..."

Kazuma: He- hrm. Listen here, I know I may have gone a little overboard here, but-

"That was beyond perfection or anything I might've imagine. Please, teach me the ways of the true gender equality."

I couldn't bear to not include that absolute dream of a moment

https://youtu.be/HD27GpD_594