" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"L... Let go of me... Now."

Darkness: Aren't we close friends ? You shouldn't be so harsh. Come on, let's go. You too, guys.

Aqua: NOOOO !! Please, Darkness, let me go ! Kazuma-san ! Kazuma-san ! Please do something !!

Kazuma: I- I'd like to ! But I can't move !

Aqua: ... What ? How ?!

Kazuma: ... ... ... No... No you didn't...

Adventurers: I- I can't move ! What's happening here ?!

"... Come on, we're friends, aren't we ? And friends stick together, no matter the circumstances..."

Kazuma: D- Don't look at me with that bittersweet smile ! Come on, think of something ! There has to be something you can do !! Teleport away of something !

"... We all worked hard together... let's all fall together..."

Aqua: KAZUMAAAAAAAA !! HE'S LOOKING WITH HIS DEAD EYES !! THERE'S SKELETONS EVERYWHERE !!

Kazuma: Hey Aqua, cast your buff magic on us ! The ones that boost strength and speed ! If you cast it on us we'll be able to break free and escape !

"... ... If you so wish... Aqua, I'll let you go. You may flee as you wish. At this point, my summons would have most likely filled the whole city already. All you have to do is avoid getting caught by them."

Kazuma: You underhanded bastard ! Hey, Aqua, this is just a trick to divide us ! Don't listen to him, hurry up and buff me !

Aqua: ... ... ... So-sorry, Kazuma, I think my chance of escaping will be higher if there's someone else to occupy him... Plus, if you were to escape, the third richest adventurer in this town will probably be me. If that were to happen, the number of tax collectors chasing after me would increase...

Kazuma: Okay, I get it, Aqua. If you buff me, I'll tell you a method that's guaranteed to let you escape safely on your own. What do you think of that ?

Aqua: the first occasion you had, you tried abandoning us to live a luxurious life at the capital. Do you really expect me to just trust you now ?

Kazuma: O- Okay, fine, I'll tell you that method right now. If you think it's workable, then just buff my strength or speed, either one would do. Just buff me !

Aqua: I... Okay, fine, tell me what to.

Kazuma: *Whisper whisper*

Aqua: ... Kazuma, let's meet up at the mansion if we both manage to escape. I'll buff both your strength and speed !

"I don't know what you told her, but she sure seems quite confident in her chances."

Kazuma: You sure are relaxed, aren't you ? I won't lose to you in strength after being buffed. i'm going to drain your magic until you pass out, then run off !

"... Darkness, would you mind opening these cuffs ?"

Darkness: Only after i'm sure you did-

Luna: Y/n sir ? We collected the amount you own as taxes. Thank you for your cooperation.

"... You know I was planning to use these funds for public infrastructure, right ?"

Luna: indeed, hence why we subtracted what you already spent that way from the total and treated them as paid early. Please be sure to turn on a profit next year too.

*Click*

"And so the burden falls to the second richest one..."

Kazuma: Huh ?! Hey, just you wait ! With these buffs I'll just carry you like luggage... Hnnnngh ! HNNGGGH !! W- Why aren't you moving at all ?!

Darkness: Ha, this operation has been in the works for quite some time. I originally intended for it to take place at the start of this month, but a lot of things have been happening recently... You really gave me a headache back then. But we managed to make it in time... ! Plus, from the moment we started planning this operation, I knew that you in particular would try and escape; it's my job to nail down such high-income adventurers like you, so in preparation for this day-

Kazuma: in preparation for this day... ! You- You didn't deliberately fatten yourself for this, did you ?! I know you were worried about how well-defined your abs were, but I didn't expect you deliberately add more flab t- ?!

Darkness: I'm wearing weights ! Look ! I tied a ton of weights to myself under my clothes ! See ! Do you see them ?!

"Wait, did you walk all the way here in that condition ?"

Kazuma: D- Damn it ! Guild lady, I thought you were on our side !

Luna: i'm sorry, but I'm also a public worker. We won't get our summer bonus if we don't do this. I'm very sorry.

Collector: Umm... No, but really...

Papyrus: I, the Great Papyrus, am filling my taxes ! Please accept it !

Collector: B- But I keep telling you, you have earned less than 10 Millions, you don't have to pay...

Papyrus: I insist ! This is half of what I earned, please accept it !

Kazuma: Damn it, why did you come up with such a convoluted scheme ? At this point you might as well just barge into the houses of rich folks and start taking anything that looks valuable !

Darkness: No, I can't do that. People would buy volatile explosive potions, put them in places where tax collectors are likely to search and bait them into setting them off. Then after the potions detonate, they would sue the tax collectors for property damage and demand a large amount of compensation...

Kazuma: ... It doesn't seem like you have any intention of moving. Is there really no room for discussion ? Knowing your personality, a bribe probably wouldn't convince you.

Darkness: Don't be silly, kazuma. The Dustiness house will not make allowances for anyone nor tolerate any form of corruption. Just give it up-

Kazuma: STEAL !!

*Klunk*

Darkness: A- Ah ? A weight... Hey, Kazuma, your Steal has a high chance of targeting a lady's underwear. let's not do something like that in front of many people. Cease your resistance and just pay the tax-

Kazuma: STEAL !!

Darkness: M- My tights ! Are you serious ?

Kazuma: Yeah, I am. I'll make you lighter by any means possible, even if I end up stripping you naked, and after that I'll lift you up and run away !

Darkness: ... ...

Luna: Ah, high-earner Satou Kazuma-san, yes ? Please come with me... Ah, he ran away ! Even Lady Dustiness who was responsible for his capture is running away ?!

"... What the hell are they playing at... ?"

Megumin: I- I don't have to pay taxes... Phew...

Darkness: Aah, I ran away... I ran away to protect my own modesty... Even though it's my job to make sure this guy pays his taxes even at the cost of my life...

Kazuma: Hey, stop moping around and let's go ! I can't believe you tossed away the key to the handcuffs in the mansion's yard before you left ! Are you an idiot ? We're heading out of town.

Darkness: ... I'm well aware of your high luck. If I had the key on me, I get the feeling that you'll easily be able to steal it... Anyway, remember what he said ? By now, his summons have the entire city on lockdown, so you should give up on that plan. Why don't you just stop struggling ? I think you are much more manly now that you are rich than when you were being ridden with debts.

Kazuma: Shut up, I don't need to hear that from you !

Darkness: ... Ha...

Kazuma: Hey, why are you sitting down all of a sudden ? Aren't you the iron lady who's so proud of her own stamina ? There's no way you could be worn out after just running such a short distance, stop messing around and stand up.

Darkness: Who are you calling an iron lady ? ... Lalatina-sama is a dainty lady. She can't walk anymore. Hmph ! So pull hard on my chain, just like you're planning to drag me off. When the cuff bites into my wrist...

Kazuma: E- Even at a time like this, you...

"Well, guess you did a pretty good job at coming so far. Now, why don't you tell me your plan about escaping my-

Kazuma: Ah, dammit ! Let's go, Darkness ! Don't you dare hold me back ! If you start doing anything funny, I'll use Steal on you !

Darkness: ... Ka- Kazuma, after imagining you exposing me in front of such a large crowd, i'm starting to feel like it might not be a bad experience. Am I really hopeless ?

Kazuma: Yes, you are ! You've been hopeless since the day we met !

Darkness: ... You sly bastard...

Kazuma: I'll be happier if you just honestly told me that i'm smart.

Darkness: You bastard ! How could you use such underhanded means ? Normally people would just think of a way to escape from the town... What should I do ? If word of this gets out, the other nobles will end up resorting to the same thing when they are unable to escape in time.

"Honestly, while this is mostly the state's problem, don't you think you could've used your own position and influence as a noble to push through some new law patching these loopholes ? I mean, if you didn't, I sure will now, so enjoy the stay in that prison cell... You should be familiar with it already, aren't you Kazuma ?"

Darkness: You sly bastard ! You sly bastard ! Damn you !

"So, let's take a look at your charges... Theft and public indecency... I don't even want to know what you managed to steal from that policewoman."

Darkness: Uuu... How could those policemen be so hard-headed... They are funded through tax money too... They happily handed over the handcuffs when I asked for them, so why are they so inflexible now... ? And you ! Purposefully committing a petty crime in order to escape the tax collectors ! Just what are you...

"You can be grateful that I managed to pick the lock on these, or else you'd still be stuck together. You guys will be able to go back home tonight.

Officer: Get out, you're getting released. I'll be sending you home... My apologies for troubling you so, Lady Dustiness. Please, come this way.

Kazuma: ... Why did you keep the cuffs ?

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. But who knows, it could be useful next year to get you to pay your taxes too."

Kazuma: Yeah, not happening. Now that I learned about this, I'm definitely taking a vacation when that comes.

"Actually, Kazuma... You already paid your taxes."

Kazuma: ... What ?!

Darkness: What ?

"Remember how you're officially the vice-president of the Windings corporation ? Well, turns out that by filling out my own taxes, I also did yours. Technically, the only tax-free money you made this year was the one from adventuring."

Kazuma: ... ... ... ... ...