" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

3rd Person POV:

Megumin: Kazuma, are you still awake ? Can I come in ?

Kazuma: Sure, i'm awake, but I don't really want to let you in. After all, the only reason you come here at this time is to play with my emotions and get my hopes up before leaving me with blue balls.

Megumin: the hell ? Don't make me sound like some sort of manipulative bitch ! I never tried to play with your emotions !

Kazuma: ... 'Well, then you're one hell of a temptress.' So, what's up ? Do you want me to keep you company while you sleep ?

Megumin: Indeed, I want to sleep with you tonight.

Kazuma: ... Look, I won't fall for the same trick again. i'm not like Aqua who never learns from experience. Don't think I'll just dumbly fall for your honeyed words just because I'm a teenage virgin.

Megumin: What are you talking about ? Weren't you the one who wanted to sleep with me tonight ? Did you forget what you said while we were playing with Sylphina ? Why are you so guarded ? You too have been sending me all kinds of signals lately, so what are you making a fuss for ?

Kazuma: I'm not making a fuss ! I'm just frustrated about being that typical male protagonist from a low-quality romcom who always gets cut-off mid-development. that's what's making me angry. i'm at my most active age, you know ? What do you find so funny about teasing an innocent virgin guy like me ? You should know that it's really painful for a guy to get into that kind of mood only for nothing to happen.

Megumin: Er, well, personally, I just wanted to convey my feelings and deepen our relationship. I didn't know that it would cause you pain. I- I apologize for that...

Kazuma: If you understand that, then leave. I was playing the videogame console I took from Aqua, and ll thanks to you saying such strange things, the character she treats like her son ended up dying. If I don't hurry up and make it back to where she was by tonight, she'll start screeching tomorrow morning.

Megumin: No, wait a second, I really have important things to say to you tonight, please don't chase me away ! Actually, if you keep treating me as less important than a game, I will really become angry !

Kazuma: What ? I don't really care about sleeping together or spending the night together anymore. I'd get all flustered and excited, and it'd end up being little more than a prolonged mental torture session for a young man like me. I'd rather sleep alone than be blue-balled at the last moment again.

Megumin: ... Sure, it's my fault to leave you hanging after getting your hopes up, but I really didn't expect you to make such a big fuss over it... No, okay, let's put aside the issue of sleeping together for now. Can we just chat for a while ?

Your POV:

Aqua: Give him back ! The Schneider that I carefully groomed and raised... Return him to me, you shitty NEET !

Kazuma: I made it back to where you were before, so give it a rest already ! I can't help it if he's dead ! Schneider has gone to another world and is doing just fine. Who knows, he might even have defeated the Demon King and be having a parade thrown in his honor right now.

Aqua: ... Really ? Is Schneider really doing fine in another world ?

Kazuma: yeah, he is, he has built up a harem of beautiful girls and is living quite happily, so don't worry about him.

"Projecting ? Wouldn't that mean Schneider is living a better life than you ?"

Megumin: Good morning. Isn't it awfully early for both of you to be up ?

Aqua: Yeah, I took Darkness and her kid out to play with Emperor Zell today. I think it's the first time her kid has fed a dragon; It was really cute seeing her be that tense. Speaking of, I don't see her around. Where did Sylphina go ?

"Darkness took her out to town, saying that she wanted to have Sylphina play with children her own age."

Megumin: Is that so. I hope that girl gets used to Axel quickly.

Aqua: Shouldn't you be going with them, as Sylphina's father-

"Another word and you'll learn what happens when a water bottle gets catapulted into outer space."

Aqua: ... ... By the way, I know Megumin usually gets up pretty early, but why are you up this early as well, Kazuma-san ? ... Actually, Megumin seems to have gotten up earlier than usual too...

Megumin: W- What are you saying ?! I always wake up around this time ! You just think that because both you and Kazuma usually wake up late ? Plus, today's weather is excellent for Explosions. Of course I would wake up early !

Aqua: Ohoh... I see, so that's what's going on with you two.

Megumin: W- What ? What do you mean by that, Aqua ?

Kazuma: You better wipe that stupid grin off your face, otherwise I will do it for you !

Aqua: The both of you woke up early to eat the leftover frog steak from yesterday's dinner, right ? Well, too bad, the earliest riser, that's right, me, has already eaten them !

"... You guys really expected Aqua to have realized something ?"

Kazuma: You did what ?! I was saving that on purpose ! I was going to use them in the sandwiches I was taking with me today ! That's why I properly prepared them last night ! Why are you always causing trouble for me ?!

Aqua: What ? I already ate them, so I can't do anything about that ! What are you getting so angry for ? If you want sandwiches, i'll gladly help you make more. Anyway, where are you guys going with said sandwiches ? If you two are going out to play, I want to come too.

Kazuma: ... ... ...

"... You guys do you little date. I need to go to the guild, and maybe try to find Darkness on the way..."

*EMERGENCY CALL ! EMERGENCY CALL !!*

"Hmm. What now ? What castle did Megumin bomb this time ?"

Darkness: That's not it... We need to get to the guild right now. And you especially...

"Hold on, you know what this is about ? How come ?"

Darkness: ... Sylphina, you can go back home now. We need to talk about something important...

"... I'm getting nervous... H- Hey, let go of my arm..."

Kazuma: What is happening here...

Luna: Alright, adventurers, please line up here; this is an emergency. It's an emergency summon. Sorry to trouble you all.

Kazuma: ... hey, something's off. Should we run away ? My sixth sense is telling me that it's best to get away from here as fast as possible.

Aqua: What a coincidence, Kazuma. I have a bad feeling too. It's probably my Goddess intuition.

Darkness: the two of you should relax. If you don't break the law, nothing bad will happen to you, just relax.

"Now we're at risk of breaking the law ? Could someone please tell me what kind of emergency this is about ?!"

Kazuma: You mean you don't know ?

"Hell if I do, Darkness just grabbed my arm and dragged me all the way there the moment we heard the call... And now I can't feel anything below my elbow."

Kazuma: ... So you don't know why the guild staff is kinda... Surrounding us right now ? I mean, there's no reason for the guild and adventurers to be enemies, right... ?

"I told you, no idea..."

Luna: I have an urgent request for everyone. Indeed, it's an emergency quest. For there is only a month 'till the end of the fiscal year; yes, today is the last day that people can pay their taxes. And some of you adventurers gathered here have yet to pay their taxes.

*SKRRRRRK*

"Holy crap, temperature dropped so fast the fountain froze over !"

Kazuma: W- W- What is going on ? What the hell is going on ?! Hey, Aqua, just what is-

Aqua: C- C- Calm down. Calm down, Kazuma. I'm sure there must be some kind of mistake !

Luna: It's true, we've never raised such a matter with you all before. Of course we wouldn't, adventurers in general tend to be in rough financial straits; As such, thus far we have exempted you... No, allowed you not to pay taxes in consideration for your economic status.

"... ... H- Hey, Darkness, you're... You're really squeezing my arm, suddenly..."

Collector: the adventurer's guild is of course supported through tax money. Naturally, this includes the reward money given out for dealing with monsters. However, just because they are earned by killing monsters doesn't mean that they should be exempt from taxes. We've simply not been collecting them out of understanding for your financial situation. But everyone present should have earned quite a bit this year... Yes, the reward for taking down the Kowloon Hydra... Thus far, you've all been allowed not to pay taxes due to the compassion of the state. But surely, after collecting such a large sum of money, you should fulfill your obligation to the state, no ?

Adventurers: ... ... ... ...

Adventurer: Umm, just how much will be taken as taxes... ?

Collector: All adventurers who earned more than 10 million this year shall be taxed half their total income-

Adventurer: SCATTER !!

Kazuma: Aqua, what should we do ? What the hell do they mean by half ?! How many hundreds of Millions do I have to pay in taxes ?!

Aqua: I have no money left ! I spent it all ! You still have to pay taxes even if you are bankrupt ! I don't want to be in debt again ! Let's run ! Let's run far, far away, Kazuma ! The tax laws in this world are very simple, everyone has to pay taxes in the first month of Autumn; The income of the entire year up 'till then will be tabulated, and that amount must be paid by the end of the first month of Autumn !

"It is quite simple to understand... Speaking of, isn't today the last day of said month ? So that means they literally waited for the very last moment to tell us that, huh... What would have happened if they didn't come today ?"

Aqua: The taxes will be waived ! The taxes will be waived once office hours are over on the last day !

Kazuma: Huh ? Will that really be that simple ? They won't hound us to pay up ?

Aqua; What are you saying ? All the laws in this world are made by aristocrats; of course they would implement laws that favour them; For low income civilians, it'd be cheaper for them to just simply pay the taxes rather than taking a vacation to avoid it, so most people would simply pay up. However, the wealthy and the nobility would take a vacation around this time and will only return at the start of the next month.

"... Tch. Well, I guess I found what I'll use my influence to do next. Pressure officials to change that stupid law and make sure nobility gets to pay as well."

Darkness: W- Wait, there are some kind-hearted people amongst the aristocrats too, don't just lump them all together...

Kazuma: ... How come you're so serene ?! You probably have to pay way more taxes than everyone else combined !

"Well, only a tiny portion of that comes from adventuring, so..."

Luna: Actually, Y/n-sir, as long as you're registered as an adventurer, all your income sources will count towards your taxes. Since adventurers more often than not take some side jobs besides adventuring. we're looking forward to your taxes.

"... ... ... I'm sorry, what ?"

*Click*

"... D- Darkness, why the handcuffs... ? H- Hehe..."

Darkness: ... Paying taxes is the duty of citizens. Now, come on, let us go, Mr Richest-man-in-the-Country.