" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Megumin: Seriously. That cool and strong-willed Soketto ended up almost being driven to tears. She's the Crimson Demon's best fortune teller. If you tease her too much, she'll start spreading stuff about you that you don't want revealed.

Kazuma: Sorry, she looked really pretty, so I just... Anyway, what do you mean by that ? After all this time, there's nothing I particularly need to hide, so threats like that won't work.

"True, true. After so much time, I don't think anything would make us think less of you. We all know you're Kazutrash already."

Kazuma: You don't have to say it like that...

Megumin: If you really want to know, back when a NEET called Bukkoroli made her angry, she revealed stuff like when he usually takes a bath or uses the toilet, his past embarrassing incidents and fetishes, and even what he gets up to at night, and caused him to coop himself in his room for quite some time.

"... I don't know if that really is fortune telling, or if she just stalks everyone in the village..."

Kazuma: Either way, I'll definitely apologize when I see her again.

Darkness: S- Say, Megumin, what is that person doing ? He seems to be directing that golem to attack a rotating pot, is that some kind of ritual or something ?

Megumin: That person is the best potter amongst the Crimson Demons. he's rotating that pot using clay magic and shaping it with that golem. He doesn't use his hands because they'll get dirty, so he uses the golem instead.

"... Couldn't he directly form and shape the pot with clay magic instead of using the golem ?"

Kazuma: I want him to apologize to the potters of the world.

Aqua: Hey, hey, what are those people over there doing ?

Mages: Tornado ! Create Water !

Megumin: They're just doing laundry.

Kazuma: You people are really great at using magic for frivolous purposes.

"I kinda get that... When you're so proficient with magic, not using it to help in everyday life would feel like kind of a waste."

Kazuma: With how you use your powers, I guess you'd understand, yes...

Megumin: ... Well, this should be the right spot, but...

"... Megumin, are you sure this is your house ? It looks... Quite different from last time."

Darkness: This one's way bigger, and it's brand new too...

*Knock knock*

Komekko: ... ... Who's there ?

Megumin: Fufu, who do you think it is ?

Komekko: ... Our house might look impressive, but we have no money. Please go away.

Megumin: It's me ! Your older sister Megumin ! You can tell from my voice, right ?! Please open up !

Komekko: ... I don't have an older sister. She died in an Explosion.

Megumin: What are you saying ?! I'm well alive and here in front of you ! Come on !

Komekko: My nee-chan would show her face at home after coming back to many times...

Megumin: Ah ! N- No, umm, that's... I came back to help Yunyun with her trial, not to play around, so... Komekko, are you sulking because I ignored you ? I'll play with you a lot tonight, so please cheer up.

Komekko: I don't really care about playing with Nee-chan, I just wanted a souvenir.

Megumin: You don't actually mean that, right ?! You're just saying that because you're pouting, right ? It really hurts, so please stop !

"Geez, what are they feeding this girl to make her act like that... The current Crimson Demons are bonkers enough, but if that's the next generation... Kazuma ?"

Kazuma: Leave that to me. Yo, Komekko, it's been some time. It's Kazuma Onii-chan. Here, I'll give you a snack.

Komekko: Welcome home, Onii-chan !

Megumin: Komekko ! You don't have a brother, only a sister ! Please properly welcome me back !

Komekko: Have some tea.

Aqua: Oh, my, thank you. You're a pretty thoughtful girl, aren't you, Komekko-chan ?

Komekko: ... Is this a present ?

"No it's not, and it's not for eating either. I should probably not leave Mary in this vicinity..."

Megumin: ... Now then, as the sister who's been sending back money every month, I would like to learn about this newly built house.

Komekko: The old house went Boom, so we built a new one.

Megumin: I've heard about that before, but be it the furniture or everything else about this house, they all are of far better quality than the stuff I've been using...

Komekko: Nee-chan's a cheapskate.

Megumin: Where did you learn such words ?! It must be that damned NEET Bukkoroli, right ?! I'll definitely ask mother and father about this house when they get back !

Yuiyui: That's how it is, even though the house has been renovated, we are still broke ! If you spare any thought for your mother at all, please don't stop sending back the money !

Megumin: I get it, so please stop pulling on my cloak ! Everyone's watching ! It's embarrassing, so please stop !

"... You have no money, but you didn't hesitate to take a loan to rebuild a bigger, nicer house that you don't even need... No offense, but now I see why you're broke all the time..."

Megumin: Well, it's a good thing to have a bigger house. Ah, I'll be in the village for a while, so Kazuma and the others will be staying here for a few days. Anyway, where's my room ?

Yuiyui: ... Eh ? Umm, your room is...

Megumin: Hey, hurry up and show your own flesh and blood daughter to her room. Otherwise I'll stop sending money back to my cold-hearted parents.

Yuiyui: You were living in such a gorgeous mansion, so I didn't think you'd ever come back ! There are several rooms free, so just take whichever room suits your fancy ! I recommend the room at the back of the second floor ! That room is wide and has thick walls, so you'll be able to sleep together with Kazuma-san !

Megumin: We're obviously going to sleep in different rooms if you have the space ! Don't put your own daughter in the same room as a young man !

Yuiyui: ... Kazuma-san wants to have the same room as my daughter, right ?

Kazuma: Of course, isn't that obvious ?

Megumin: You'll just make things more complicated, so please shut up !

Kazuma: Hey, wait, didn't you just ask me how many children I wanted the other day ?

Megumin: That isn't something to say in front of my parents ! Anyway, that's just talking about the future !

Aqua: ... You can't listen to what those two are talking about, okay ? i'll fold some origami for Komekko-chan. Behold, Bomber Majin Moguninnin !

Komekko: So cool !

"... Bomber Majin ? I guess with a name like Moguninnin, it's something to do with the girl whose parents are being cold-hearted and ungrateful to."

Darkness: Megumin, you... ! You keep calling me Erosader and Erolady and all that, but since when did you come up with a family plan ?! You closet pervert !

Megumin: H- How rude ! Who is a closet pervert ?! Argh, nevermind ! Kazuma, let's go ! I haven't done my daily routine yet. We'll just find a place to let it off.

Yuiyui: Daily routine ? Y/n-san, what exactly is my daughter's daily routine ?

"... ... ... heh."

Kazuma: 'I know that face... It's the "I will purposefully make this a hundred-fold times worse" face...'

"Weeeell... i'm not one to pry into my friends' private life, but Megumin does something that drains her stamina to the point where she cannot move every day."

Megumin: Ah ?! Please don't put it in such an easily misunderstood way ! That sounds like i'm doing something really obscene !

Kazuma: 'No, he's doing these on purpose...'

"Well, you do have to go far away from town alone with Kazuma in order to do it. But even so, it's become somewhat of a local spectacle in Axel, so recently people have even come to watch..."

Yuiyui: Just what is my daughter doing in public ?!

"I mean, she's the one who claimed, and I quote, that she 'Needed something big and hard, because it wouldn't do otherwise", and so she started doing it every day with Kazuma-"

Megumin: Explosion Magic ! I'm just shooting Explosion ! If you say any more misleading things to my mother, I'll really make you suffer later !

"i'm doing these specifically because I know you can't do a single thing to threaten me. Pretty sure we both know you can't hit me with that Explosion, and if you ever try to hurt my business, you'll never see the end of it. I hold that country in my palm... Well, that's much, but you get the idea."

Megumin: Did the monsters knock something loose in your brain, you corporate psycho ?! Enough of this, Kazuma, let's go... Huh ? Kazuma ?

"I say him leave when it started to escalate. A smart move, not to get involved in this."

Kazuma: I'm definitely leaving Megumin's routine to Darkness... Huh ?

*Succubus Lingerie Pub*

Kazuma: ... ... ...

Barkeeper: Oh, welcome, outsider. If you're alone, will a counter seat be fine ?

Kazuma: 'Only men everywhere... Dammit.' Umm, is this a regular pub ?

Barkeeper: Ah, the most intelligent Crimson Demon thought up the name for this pub and inn. Customers from outside the village all ed up asking the same question.

Kazuma: ... ... Is that person also the same one who gave the name of "Mixed hot springs" to the public bath that is neither mixed nor a hot spring ?

Barkeeper: I'm surprised you know that. That very same person thought up the names for most of the tourist attractions in this village too.

Kazuma: '... ... Swindled again...'

???: Welcome, customer. My name is Nerimaki, daughter of the owner of the number one pub in the Crimson Demon Village, and the one who will eventually become its owner ! Onii-san seems to be a friend of MeguYun, so I'll give this to you as a special service. In exchange, will you please tell me how they are getting along in Axel ?

Nerimaki: W- What did you say ?! That Yunyun has a male friend ?! Go on ! Tell me more about what kind of people these guy friends of hers are like !

Kazuma: One of them is a blond delinquent. The other one could be said to have a devilish personality, or even a devil himself... And finally, there's a quite ruthless guy with white hair, who actually came here with me.

Nerimaki: How could this happen ? Where did the pure Yunyun who helped me work on my finishing pose go... ! Those two always had a yuri-like air about them, so I'm sure they would've clung onto each other... !

Kazuma: By the way, I'm currently building an adult relationship with Megumin. I don't dislike seeing Yuri, but it's a loss for humanity for two beautiful girls to get together. I intend to put my all fighting the loss of population caused by the Demon King's army.

Nerimaki: That sounds really cool and all, but at the end of the day you're just talking about making children.

???: Bro ?! Is that you, bro ?!

*Clang clang clang clang*

???: It's me ! The strongest, toughest, dancing and singing Divine Relic amongst Divine Relics ! Your bro, Aigis-san !