" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Megumin: Are the two of you alright ? Seriously, picking a fight with Crimson Demons... There's a limit as to how reckless you can get.

"i feel like they should be saying that to you, you're the one who charged at them in the first place."

Kazuma: Anyway, it's fine, isn't it ? Having scrapes like this from time to time really makes me feel like an adventurer.

"Bar fights aren't adventures..."

Darkness: As a knight, I couldn't stand idly by as my companion is being called worst mage and joke mage. Plus, is was a pretty good match. I enjoyed myself quite a bit !

"The guy who was facing you ended up begging you to let him off with tears in his eyes, you know ? You really should stop getting others to satisfy your masochistic urges."

Megumin: Hehe. To us Crimson Demons, calling you the worst is somewhat of a compliment; it's an ancient saying that anyone who is referred to as the worst would end up awakening to new powers.

Kazuma: that's pretty cliché development, but... I really don't get the sensibilities to you Crimson Demons.

"I think it's better not to think too much about it... Who's that ?"

???: Oh, Megumin ? It's been some time !

Megumin: Hey, Arue. It's really rare to find you outside considering how often you hole yourself up in your home. Are you still a NET aiming to be an author ?

Arue: I- i'm not a NEET ! I'm a proper author ! I'm writing for the Crimson Demon newspaper, and I even released a book recently ! i'm earning money, so I'm not a NEET !

Megumin: I- I get it, so stop pulling on my eye-patch ! It's something you gave to me ! Plus it hurts !

Kazuma: ... ... Hey, Megumin, she's the strange girl who mailed that scribbled story to Yunyun and caused us all kinds of problems, right ?! I haven't forgotten that !

Arue: Ah, you're the outsider who tore up my manuscripts ! I didn't forget that either !

Kazuma: What's the difference between an author and a NEET anyway ?

Arue: i'm a Crimson Demon ! If you make me angry, I'll blow you away with Advanced magic !

Megumin: You two shouldn't have had much contact with each other, so why are you two fighting from the moment you meet ?! Calm down !

Darkness: You must be one of Megumin's classmates. i'm darkness, of the same party as Megumin. I'll only be in the village for a short time, but please take care of me.

Arue: My name is Arue, the Number One author of the Crimson demons. i'm relieved that Onee-san seems to be a sensible person. Nice to make your acquaintance.

Kazuma: hey, why is there such a big difference in the treatment we are getting ? And you sure are introducing yourself in a really grandiose way ! Why don't you tell me exactly how many authors there are amongst the Crimson demons before calling yourself the number one ?

Arue: isn't it obvious to proceed in a friendly manner with one of Megumin's companions ? I would've treated you the same way if you hadn't hurt me before. As for the number of authors amongst the Crimson demons, I have no comment.

"... Oh, right, come to think of it, I haven't heard any of the Crimson demon's grand introductions since we came here..."

Arue: You know you only introduce yourself when you meet someone for the first time, right ? By the way, i'm not doing that to him. He doesn't seem like a good person.

"Ah, to think I came up with new introductions for nothing..."

Arue: ... I've heard that Megumin made a boyfriend, but don't tell me this is the guy in question ? Don't think too badly of me for saying this, but it's still too late to go back to the Yunyun route.

Kazuma: is that a declaration of war, you one-eyed woman ? You said you just released a book, right ? If I find any of your books in a bookstore, I'm going to put them beneath other author's books.

Arue: Megumin, this man is no good ! I'll get rid of him right this instant !

Kazuma: oh, you want to go ? My Steal is pretty unique, you know ? Don't think that your eye-patch or panties will be safe !

Megumin: If you two insist on fighting, then I'll be your opponent ! Don't think that a high-level Archwizard will have any trouble taking on a pair of NEETs !

Both: I- i'm not a NEET !

Aqua: WAAAAAH ! BWAAAAAH ! WAAAAAH !!

"hey, for a second I though we were beck to Axel, hearing Aqua wailing out on the floor. What happened ? Striking a few embarrassing poses shouldn't be that traumatic after all the embarrassing stuff you did. Just what exactly did they make you do ? And why are you covered in mud ?"

aqua: Uuu... Uuu... Today's trial was... "What a Crimson Demon needs above all is luck; You two can attempt this challenge as many times as you want until you pick the right door", they said, before showing us towards a series of doors...

"Ah, a trial relying entirely on luck. My condolences;"

Kazuma: Still, you managed to pass the trial, right ? Good work, go ahead and take a bath. In the meantime, I'll whip up some high quality snacks for you with my cooking skill.

Aqua: ... Shiokara would be nice...

Darkness: Megumin's mother, um... T- tonight...

Yuiyui: Don't be so distant, just call me Yuiyui. Anyway, what about tonight ? Darkness-san seems to be in heat tonight.

"Hm ?"

Darkness: in heat ?! No, I mean, could you not have Megumin and Kazuma sleep in the same room tonight...

Yuiyui: Why should they not ? Do you want to have a secret rendezvous or something ?

Darkness: Secret rendezvous ?! No, of course not ! It's just, a lot of things happened today, so thinking that they'll share a room on this day gives me a sense of alienation...

Yuiyui: ... Did something happen today ?

"Not really. At least not something would justify that... I guess Darkness got carried away on her own."

Darkness: Wha- ?! Hey, after going on that date, that's a little-

Yuiyui: Sleep.

"... Well, guess all that's left if to plan tomorrow's trial..."

Megumin: You foolish Crimson Demons ! I'll lay waste to this entire village !

Bukkoroli: I told you when we let you out of the cells yesterday ! If you cause another scene with your Explosion, you'll be tossed into the cells until the Chieftain's trial is over ! So behave yourself ! Gurk, i'm pretty high level too ! Even if you strangle me like that...

"She's starting to chant ! Cover her mouth ! Don't let her chant ! Think of her as a rabid beast !"

CD: Ahhh ! Bukkoroli ! Hey, get Megumin's hands off him ! Bukkoroli is foaming from the mouth !

Kazuma: ... We've thought about this with Darkness too, but wouldn't this whole party be more effective if they just fought with their fists ?

"I feel you..."

Megumin: Yunyun ! Go ahead and attempt your final trial or whatever while I'm in jail ! But don't think you've won yet ! If you still aren't chief by the time I get out, I'll take over that position !

Yunyun: Megumin, please let go of Bukkoroli ! Otherwise we'll need to use Resurrection !

Kazuma: ... Anyway, about Yunyun's final trial...

Aqua: i'm definitely not participating.

Darkness: I- I... Erm... well...

"Guess that leaves us a bit short on options..."

Yunyun: Why are the four of you so calm ? Megumin is getting dragged away again, you know ?!

"Yeah, and this time I made sure to take her staff, so we should be good for a bit."

Darkness: ... I was Yunyun's partner during the first trial, and aqua was her partner during her second trial, so wouldn't it be fitting for one of you two to be her partner for the third trial ?

Aqua: darkness is saying something great for once. Yeah, let's have one of you who hasn't done anything up 'till now.

Kazuma: unfortunately, I can't participate. Moguninnin is around, after all.

Aqua: Seriously, what is a Moguninnin ?

"Go ask the Crimson demons who named me, not us. And it is true, that after all that Megumin said about us being some sort of priority target, it'd be a jerk move to ignore her and participate anyway... So, i'm gonna completely ignore her and do it."

Kazuma: Well, even if neither of us could participate, I do know of one guy who'll definitely let you clear that trial. This is the Divine Relic Aigis.

Aigis: just like what he said, my name is Aigis. My hobby is rating girls and my special skill is enraging others. Nice to meet y- GYAAAAAAAAAAHH !!

"I knew something was off ! That relic offered by Eris who ditched Misturugi was you, wasn't it ?!"

Yunyun: Er... H- Hello...

Darkness: D- Divine relic... Hey, kazuma, what are you saying ? This set of armor is a divine relic ?

Aigis: Hmm ? This blonde lady seems familiar... Oh, I know, it's that girl with that erotic body who appeared in the beauty contest ! Yo, Ojou-san, I'm Aigis. You're wearing some pretty good armor; wanna polish them together someday ?

Darkness: What's with this vulgar suit of armor ? Kazuma, is this thing really a divine relic ?

Kazuma: Don't ask me, ask Aqua. And he himself says he's a Divine relic.

Aqua: Hey, Kazuma, I don't know anything about this. Don't just push everything to me.

Aigis: Hmm ? I think I've seen you somewhere before. Strange. Even though she's a beauty, I don't have any reaction towards her at all. Say, Onee-chan ? Are you human ? Or perhaps you are a man ? You're not packing anything down there, are you ?

Yunyun: ... Can I really pass the trial for sure if I teamed up with him ?

Kazuma: Skills and magic don't work on him, and on top of that, his entire body is made out of orichalcum. The final trial is to spend a night in the forest, right ? He is tougher than Darkness and constantly boasts about having an impenetrable defense, so I think you'll be fine with him.

Aigis: What did you want me to do ? Sorry, but I have an appointment to be the figurehead of the mixed hot springs tonight. I need to protect those naked and defenseless onee-chans from the shadows.

Kazuma: just so you know, the mixed hot springs are nether mixed nor hot springs.

Aigis: Are you kidding me ?!

"You've been here for so long, but still haven't realized the whole place is a scam ?"

Darkness: ... hey, will he really be of use ? Sure, he looks tough, but I can't help but worry about leaving him and Yunyun alone together...

Aigis: Oh, I can't let that slide. Do you doubt my abilities ? In that case, why don't you try me on yourself ? Nothing beats the hands-on experience; you won't want to wear anything else after trying me on.

Darkness: Grr... Fine, if you're going to go that far, I'll try you on. i'm fairly experienced when it comes to armors too.

Aigis: That's more like it. But don't come crying to me afterwards; my internal structure changes to fit its wearer, creating a perfect fit to ensure maximum performance at all times.

Darkness: In other words, it'd be just like an order-made suit of armor ?! Now you've got my expectations up. Don't disappoint me now.

Aigis: now then, to start with, you need to strip. It might be a little embarrassing, but your underwear needs to go too. it's necessary in order to ensure maximum performance.

Darkness: ... ... I- is that so... W- Well, it's just a piece of armor. it'd be stranger to be concerned about it... Let's just go over there...

"The only 'Performance' I see here is your concerning-good acting; You didn't have any problem when you made Eris wear you, did you ?"

Aigis: Don't say that now ! This girls was this close to falling for it !

"Yup, that's why I did it. What if, and hear me out, you stopped acting like a certain horny NEET all the time ? Maybe then you'd get a beautiful lady to willfully wear you."

Darkness: I- I'll break you to pieces !!

Yunyun: U- Um, Aigis-san, I have a request !

Aigis: What is it, big breasted onee-chan ? Go ahead and say it.

Yunyun: W- Would you be my partner for today's trial ?!

Aigis: Is that like inviting me on a date ? As you can see, i'm a little preoccupied right now. Do you mind stopping this muscle-headed girl ?

Darkness; Yunyun, this guy is no good ! Let's think of another method ! For example, it's a little unfair, but how about having us take it in turns to help you...

Aqua: ... Hey, Kazuma, you guys should be a little more prudent. Look, the pure and upright noble lady is now saying such things.

Kazuma: It's not my fault, she recently even started to learn how to abuse her power. I'm sure her true nature has a noble has awakened.

Darkness: Oh shut up ! In the first place, we already changed partners between trials. Was it ever written down that you can't change partners within a trial ? If there isn't...

"Wow, she's even coming up with the kind of Sophism Kazuma would think of...

Kazuma: Don't just blame everything on me, i'm not that devious.

"Says you. But that gives me an idea... "