" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Aigis: Oh, the brilliant me had a great idea. Ojou-chan, register this place as a teleport destination and lets spend the night at some other town. we'll teleport back here at dawn. The forest is really scary at night... Actually, you could just scream and have the judges let you off !

Yunyun: Kazuma-san suggested the same thing when he heard about what this trial would be. But I won't chest. I want to become the chief with my own strength...

"yeah, we're already stretching the rules enough as it is. Not to mention the reason we did it in the first place was so there would be no need to cheat further. If we went with that idea, wouldn't that make the rest absolutely useless ?"

Aigis: It's honestly kind of shocking that Kazuma had the same idea...

"Not when you get to know him, I assure you... It's kinda surprising he didn't come up with that idea himself..."

"Okay, hear me out... I may have something that could help... What if, both me and Yunyun went to pass the third trial, with one of us wearing Aigis ?"

Yunyun: Huh ? But, you can't... It' only two persons...

"I know, and we'd only have two people taking the trial. It's not our fault the suit of armor one of them is wearing suddenly gained sentience while we weren't looking. Isn't that what Crimson Demons enjoy doing ? Finding flaws in the rules and making loopholes out of them ?"

Aigis: What a magnificent idea ! I'd expect nothing less from the man who cornered me ! Come on Ojou-chan, let's go to a secluded place so you can properly wear me.

"Actually, Aigis, I'll be the one wearing you until we get to the trial."

Aigis: What ?! No, no nononononono ! I categorically refuse that ! Not only are you a man, your class is completely incompatible ! Nope, never !

"First off, this trial is supposed to be undertook by a Crimson Demon and a swordsmaster, so the amount of sense it would make if the crimson demon passes off as the swordsmaster is abysmal. Second... Consider this punishment for ignoring Eris' orders and ditching Mitsurugi, you should be glad I'm letting you keep your original shape while I still wear clothes under you."

Aigis: Ieeeeeeeeek...

"So, the goal is simply to survive... Easy enough."

Aigis: Say, Ojou-chan, why are pretty girls so soft ? Why do they smell so nice ? I think I should study that and write a paper on that subject. I'm sure it'll be an asset to this world.

Yunyun: I think it's fine to do whatever you like, but why did you bring it up all of a sudden ?

"Wouldn't that be because pretty girls tend to take care of themselves more ?"

Aigis: Oh, yeah, I guess that would make sense... Say, Ojou-chan, do the people around you ever call you dense and a poor judge of character ?

Yunyun: I don't think so...

Aigis: For Armor-type divine relics like me, it'd be better for there to be someone inside me, don't you think ? Like, you pry open this armor and a pretty girl is inside ! I think the customers would be very happy to chance upon such a gap.

"Who even are these 'Customers' in the first place ? And stop complaining, Yunyun's only inside you for protection against sudden monster attacks."

Yunyun: Aigis-san, is it really fine for you to be fooling around out here ? Aren't Divine relics created by the Gods to fight against the Demon King ?

"Thank you !"

Aigis: Hmm ? But that's boring. I mean, sure, if a pretty Onee-chan is about to be subjected to the Demon King's perverted tastes, I'll go save her, but there isn't any hint of that. Not to mention that the Demon King's army's demon girls and Monster Musumes are pretty appealing. I'm having trouble deciding which side I'd rather be on.

"I will personally stuff you full of lead and leave you at the bottom of the ocean if you choose wrong."

Yunyun: ... 'The Gods created Aigis-san for a very important purpose, but Aigis-san seems to be quite self-centered...' I've heard that the Demon King army's goal is the eradication of humanity. Wouldn't the pretty ladies be wiped out too ?

Aigis: Well, yeah, that'd be a problem. In that case, I'll get as many of the pretty girls I can find and have them stay by my side so I can protect them. That way Eris-sama wouldn't be angry too. Sadly, my new master is just too hard-headed to get along with.

'Seriously, what kind of uber-pervert came up with this idea and personality...'

Aigis: Anyway, that's enough about that, what do you plan to do after becoming chief ? How about making a law to have the robes of the Crimson demons extend for no more than five millimeters from the waist ?

*ZBUNK*

"Ow."

Yunyun: I won't do that ! I'll be kicked out from the first day !

Aigis: Well, if you want to be chief that badly, I'm sure you have a dream that can't be accomplished without becoming chief. How about letting me in on it ? Do the Crimson Demons have some great secret ?

Yunyun: ... I don't have any such dreams that requires me to become chief to accomplish. And, even stuff I want to do...

Aigis: Eh ? You're kidding ! Then there's no need for us to try this hard, is there ? Why don't we live a little more enjoyable life ? How about coming with me on my journey to befriend beautiful women all over the world ?

"Why are you even so obsessed with women, you have nothing down there you could use !"

Aigis: Just because I have no stomach either doesn't means I can't be fascinated by fine cuisine !

"I... That actually makes some sense, yes..."

Yunyun: ... That sounds nice ! Ah, I don't really care about the beautiful women part, but traveling around the world and befriending a lot of people...

Aigis: To be honest, I didn't expect them to accept me as a partner, even if i'm technically not a "person". You Crimson Demons really are a free-spirited bunch, aren't ya ? I was really surprised when a bunch of them froze the lake just so they could go fishing in this season. Aren't there more worthwhile ways to use your powers ?

"Don't you think that's very rich coming from someone like you blatantly ignoring Divine orders ?"

Yunyun: ...' in the past, I had a close friend who was called the number one genius of the Crimson Demons whom everyone had great hopes for. That stupid close friend who ignored everyone's hopes and expectations, pursued her own dreams, and ended up getting referred to as the idiotic worst mage. Even so, she has loads of fun every day, made plenty of companions and friends, and even found a man she loves, an extremely stupid and important-

Aigis: Oh boy, monster right ahead ! Ojou-chan, go ahead and let loose with your magic ! Don't worry about running out of mana, I, Aigis-san, shall protect you... And you can fend for yourself, I'm sure.

"... I will make you eat these words."

Yunyun: Leave it to me ! I'm the one who will become the chief of the Crimson demons ! Combat is my greatest talent !

Aigis: That's the way, Ojou-chan ! I really love girls like you ! The first enemy is a One-Hit bear. I really hate them, their attacks really hurt !

"I think I recall seeing a quest to take one of these down back in Axel..."

Aigis: You stay back. Without the great me to protect you, you'd get mauled to death of they get to you.

Yunyun: I'll do my best not to leave even a single scratch on your armor ! Leave the offense to me !

Aigis: Ooh ! How reliable ! This is the first time I've had a spellcaster inside of me, but could it be that we have amazing compatibility , Say, Ojou-chan... No, my friend Yunyun, after this battle is over-

Yunyun: Inferno !!

*Puff*

Yunyun: ... I can't use magic or skills when i'm wearing you, Aigis-san...

Aigis: Yeah. To a spellcaster, i'm a surprisingly worthless piece of junk.

"There's a good reason you're here for defense in the first place..."

Yunyun: A- Anyway, what were you saying just now ? I recall you saying something about amazing compatibility and being my friend !

Aigis: Ah, sorry, that was nothing. Anyway, can you do something about Kuma-chan here ?

"You just opened the Pandora box, so I'll let you deal with that yourself."

Yunyun; You definitely said something ! I definitely heard you call me your friend ! There's no way I could've misheard that !

Aigis: What's with this girl ?! Did I step on a landmine ? Anyway, do something about this bear ! Even if you can't use magic, you're still a high-level Archwizard, right ?! My defense is stupidly high, so please do something !

Yunyun: Oh yeah, this is why I have my dagger... Ah, but that's an important memento from my first shopping trip with a friend...

Aigis: Are you okay ?! Is this girl right in the head ?! Hey, once we're done here, can you get out of me for a moment ? let's start things over from the beginning ! And you, do something !

"... i'm sure you can fend for yourself."

Yunyun: My name is Yunyun, an Archwizard who wields advanced magic... The strongest spellcaster amongst the Crimson demons, and the one who will eventually become chief !

Aigis: It's ringing inside me ! it's really ringing ! Hey, hurry up and get out of me, Ojou-chan ! Otherwise I'll get shaken to pieces !

CD: Chief ! Chief ! I always knew that Roaring Thunder Yunyun would make it someday ! Hey Yunyun, we're friends, aren't we ? let's go hunting in the forest next time ! This is a joyous occasion ! Tonight is the birth of the strongest chief !

Aqua: Ahahahaha ! Hey Kazuma, look at this ! Megumin is multiplying !

Megumin: I am not multiplying ! Aqua, you drank too much ! Darkness, please stop her...

"You're too late with that, she's already not listening..."

Darkness: the Dustiness House will not give in ! I have resistance to poison as well. There's no reason to decline such a challenge !

Yuiyui: That's the spirit ! Now, now, drink with me, Darkness-san ! If I lose, I won't meddle any further with my daughter's and Kazuma's relationship !

"... Should I tell her Yuiyui's just drinking juice instead of alcohol ?"

Kazuma: Why don't you drink as well, Megumin ? Even Darkness who usually stops you is already drunk.

Megumin: Ugh... I'd very much like to do that, but...

Funifura: So this is where you were, Megumin ! We finally caught you !

Megumin: Wh- What are you doing , Are you two drunk ?! After taking out all those powerful targets, my level is far higher than the both of you ! If you don't mind getting thrown around, then feel free to come at me !

Dodonko: Come talk with us for a bit ! it's about time you come clean with how far you've gone with that guy !

Funifura: yeah, yeah, you're always so arrogant ! we've never seen you act like a maiden at all ! How did you, the one with the least sex-appeal out of all of us, end up like this ?!

Megumin: I wouldn't mind talking about such things when you're sober, but this isn't something that makes good conversation while drinking ! Come on, Nerimaki and Arue are over there, go play with them instead !

Funifura: You're so cold ! You hardly ever come back to the village, so hang out with us a little while you're here !

Dodonko: Yeah, yeah ! And could you introduce us to some male friends of yours too ?! It'd be too cruel to ask Yunyun to introduce us to her friends !

Megumin: You guys are some really troublesome drunks ! Don't let Yunyun hear you, she'll cry !

"... Aren't we forgetting something, though ?"

Kazuma: If we forgot, it shouldn't be that important.