" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

"Hm... That whole deal idea, I don't really know what to think of it... Of course Kazuma would agree, and I can't blame him for that... A direct confrontation with a Demon King's general is suicidal. Hey, i'm ho-"

Aqua: Waaaaahh !! Waaaaaaahh !!

Megumin: There, there, please stop crying. He should be coming back soon... Ah, welcome back, you came in at just the right time-

*Slam*

"Not dealing with that right now, no thank you."

Darkness: Hey, don't pretend you didn't see this ! This is a really serious matter !

".. Fine. Against my better judgement, I'll ask, what happened this time ?"

Megumin: Apparently, she caused some kind of ruckus in the guild and was thrown out by the adventurers... I don't know exactly what she did, but it seems like Aqua is barred from entering the guild for a while.

"I don't think I even want to know what she did..."

Darkness: Megumin and I came back to the mansion after investigating that woman and found her crying with an invoice in her hand.

"If she thinks I'm paying for it, she's sorely mistaken... Wait, investigating ? Are you investigating Serena ? Is that why you just went out together lately ?"

Darkness: Exactly ! Listen to this, something's really odd about that woman ! Someone skilled enough to take out an undead horde that large should be a fairly famous priest, but when I went all over searching for more info... There isn't even a single rumor in any of the cities I contacted about a priest named Serena !

Megumin: On top of that, according to the guild staff, that woman has never once claimed a reward from the guild. No matter how saintly of a priest she is, this is way too absurd. You need to present your adventurer's card in order to claim a reward... So we were thinking that perhaps there is a reason why she can't show others her card.

"... if only you could be that serious and competent ever day... In any case, you don't really need to look further into her. Kazuma sort of made a deal with her, so, that's that."

Darkness: It's a really fresh feeling for just the two of us to be out together. Still, what business do you have at the guild ? Are we going to get lunch at the tavern ?

"Well, I wasn't planning to have this turn into a date, but I don't mind... Is this why you're dressed like this ?"

Darkness: What are you saying ? You were the one who invited me. Everyone in this town already knows about my identity, so there's no need to go out of my way to hide it.

"... It's almost cute how you expect people to not just tease and embarrass you about that."

Celestina: Not many people have heard the name of the Goddess Regina, but her power is the real thing. Any number of your wishes may be granted with her power.

Adventurer: Is tat true ?! Will she allow me to get a boyfriend ?! I don't have much choice but to sleep in the stables, but whenever I confess to a man that isn't an adventurer, they would say "The smell of horse dung is a little..." and reject me !

Celestina: That can be accomplished. Bring me the hair of the man in your heart. With the aid of Regina-sama, I will make a charm that helps him return your feelings.

Adventurer: Serena-san ! Me too ! Please make one of those charms for me too !

Celestina: Come, no problem is too small or worry too insignificant. I shall hear you out. That is the duty of a priest, after all...

Yunyun: U-Um... I have trouble making friends in this town... I came back to this town with my best friend, but she has been quite busy lately... A f- friend... I want a friend with whom I can eat dinner with ! I don't want to eat alone anymore...

Celestina: Er, well, even with the aid of the great Regina-sama, i'm not sure what I can...

Yunyun: is that so... I'm sorry.

Darkness: Hey, what's going on ? Don't tell me, the reason you invited me to the guild is because of that woman... !

"It is, yes. You said it yourself, she is way beyond suspicious, so I want to keep a close eye on her and what she's up to."

Darkness: Y-You... ! You said Kazuma reached an agreement with her ! You told us not to look any further into her ! I even... I- I even dressed up like this...

"... You're the one who put that date idea in your head yourself, weren't you ?"

Darkness: N- No... ! N- N- Not at all... ! Where are you going ?

Celestina: It doesn't seem like you've spoken about me to anyone. Just a fair warning, this is also for their benefit. I might not be particularly combat focused, but I'm still a Demon King's General. The Dark Goddess Regina is the patron of puppetry and vengeance. If I were to die, not only the person who killed me, but people in the general area would be struck by a powerful curse. At a guess, I'd say perhaps half the town would be wiped out.

"Is that so ? 'So remember to take her far away from town and have Aqua on standby for the resurrection, noted'. It's funny, it's like you'd expect me to just try killing you at any time."

Celestina: I heard rumors about you. One cannot be too careful against someone who fights head-to-head with Hans or Sylvia. There are a lot of different types of curses. Ones that render body parts useless, ones that petrify, and even some that are far crueler. If someone other than you finds out about my true identity, I'll probably have no choice but to defend myself. In that case, there are bound to be a lot of casualties. You should think deeply on that if you ever think of breaking our deal.

"... Why are you bothering giving all these details ? Just saying 'attack me and you'll get cursed' do the trick in discouraging most people ?"

Celestina: I think we both know you aren't "Most people". Go ahead and prick my finger. Ah, but don't stab too deep

"... Who are you, Aqua ? Seriously, why would... Huh ?"

Celestina: You see now ? You pricked my finger, but your finger also got hurt in the process.

"... The Saint Patron of Vengeance, of course. So any damage dealt to you would be returned to the perpetrator in kind... 'Jokes on you, I have no idea where that toothpick went, so have fun dealing with tetanus now.'... What are you planning now ? You saw what were Kazuma's intentions, so wouldn't it be time for you to return to the Demon King's castle or something ?"

Celestina: ... Fufu...

"Weird... hey Darkness, where would you like to have lunch ? My treat... ?"

Adventurers: Ojou-sama ! Lalatina Ojou-sama, what's with your outfit ?! What's with your maiden-like outfit, Ojou-sama ?! It looks really cute !

Adventurer: Lalatina-chan, your frills are really cute ! Don't hide your face, let me have a good look !

"... What can I say except that I called it. Hey, get off her, she's not a display piece. Come on, shoo, shoo."

Adventurers: hey, I've heard that Serena-sama's holding a sermon ! Get a move on ! It's this way ! You'll miss out on seeing Serena-sama's esteemed face if you don't hurry ! Over here ! Over here ! Serena-sama's about to start ! Hurry up !

Aqua: H- Hey, wait up ! Why are all of you acting so odd ? Serena-sama this and Serena-sama that... isn't she just a priest ? What exactly happened to this town in the few days since I was sealed away in the mansion ?

Kazuma: What do you mean sealed, you Hikikomori ? While you were cooped up at home, Serena has become the idol of the town.

Megumin: ... that woman really smells fishy. Well, since Kazuma told me not to go after her, I'll leave it as it is.

Darkness: ... Well, her acts are praiseworthy, at the very least... It's a little odd for me to be saying this, but the way she seems to have no human failings at all doesn't quite sit well with me. Still, since you said that, I too will leave things be. At the end of the day, I always treat your warnings seriously. I won't ignore your words and head off to do my own thing anymore.

'... I take it she did the whole "cursed stunt" to you too ?'

Kazuma: 'Yeah, the finger pricking. I can't help but feel a pain in my chest thinking about that...'

Adventurers: Serena-sama ! Serena-sama, please grant my wish !

Celestina: yes, yes, there's no need to rush. Please line up properly... Regina-sama can grant any number of your wishes, and of course, there's no need for any payment. Now, please.

Adventurers: Thank you very much, Serena-sama ! The truth is...

Adventurer: Serena-sama ! Please, this guy got heavily wounded during an extermination quest... ! It's a pretty serious wound ! Can you please help him ?!

Wounded: ... Qua... Aqua... Nee-chan... please...

Aqua: i'm right over here ! Leave it to me, you'll be completely fine in an instant ! Ah, what are you doing ?! You're in the way ! Do you want a taste of my God Blow ?! If I don't heal him quickly...

Celestina: Heal ! Heal ! Heal !

Wounded: ... T... T- T... Thank you very much, Serena-sama !

"... That's odd... healing someone is an everyday occurrence for a priest, it's literally their jobs... Being thankful for that is normal of course, but treating someone like a saint just because of that..."

Aqua: H- hey...

Wounded: I want to be healed by Serena. there's no need for you to do anything, so please get away from me.

"... ... Dark Goddess Regina, patron of Puppetry and vengeance..."

Kazuma: You don't think she's...

"I think there might be something more to this than just heal..."

Megumin: ... Kazuma, I don't know what's going on, or what exactly you're troubled over right now, but it's something you decided for everyone's sakes, right? Then isn't it fine ? No matter what you choose, it always works out in the end.

Darkness: ... Indeed. I'm sure you thought hard about it before telling us not to get involved with her. That's why... Just do as you wish so that you won't have any regrets.

"... ... ..."

Celestina: Hm ? You remember our deal, yes ? I hope you remember the kind of disaster that would befall this town if you break it... Though.

"... Don't push your luck."

Celestina: You seem to be making quite the anguished expression. ... Ah, yes, I still owe you a bit of gold, don't I ? ... Hmm, if you attempt to challenge me alone without the aid of Wiz or Vanir or revealing my identity to anyone else... Yes, if you do that, I shall face you as a Demon King's General without taking the inhabitants of this town hostage. ... But you're very similar to us. A coward and a realist, one who can weigh the pros and cons. I trust you won't do something so foolish. And even the more reckless of you still values this town, right ? So you shouldn't be pushing your luck. Now, my debt to you is cleared.

'... ... How long has it been... Since I was absolutely fuming at someone like that, without being really able to do anything...'

"... What do you want ?"

Kazuma: ... hey, what's up with you two ? If you want to say something, just say it.

Aqua: ... Kazuma-san, Y/n-san... Does this town not need a Goddess like me ?

"... Hey, Kazuma. You're confident in your luck, right ?"

Kazuma: About as confident as you in your power. Aqua, Cast some support spells on us. Ones that increase strength, speed, luck and the likes.

"... Aqua, after what's about to happen, there's a good chance we'll end in extremely bad shape. So prepare the strongest curse lifting ward you've got, and keep a resurrection at hand, just in case. For this one, we're counting on you."

Darkness: W- What ?! What are the two of you saying ?!

Megumin: What are you planning to do ?!

Aqua: Hey, Kazuma-san, Y/n-san, what are you doing ? I have a really bad feeling about this...

Darkness: Hey, wait, what are you doing all of a sudden...! I know I said to do as you wish, but that woman is merely suspicious. She hasn't actually broken the law, so don't do anything vio—!

Megumin: K- Kazuma, I don't know what you are doing, but you are really cool right now ! It really tickles my Crimson Demon heartstrings !

Darkness: Don't encourage them, Megumin ! Wait- !

"I think it's well due time that we show how much we care about this town and everyone in it. Hey, Kazuma... Who are you ?"

Kazuma: ... My name is Satou Kazuma. I'm an advocate of True Gender Equality, a man who wouldn't hesitate to dropkick a woman in the face. Hey Serena ! let's both take a nap today ! I'll leave thinking about how to seriously get in your way for tomorrow !

Celestina: Hm ? HUH ?!

*SCHBRAM*