" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Walter: Well then, once again. I am Alexei Barnes Walter. I'm the eldest son of the Alexei house, so I am helping with managing my father's lands.

Darkness: I'm Dustiness Ford Lalatina. I'll skip the detailed introduction of our family. It's only natural for an upstart landlord's son to know about it after a- UWAAAH ?!

'Shut uuuuuuup, your father's still heeeeeeere.'

Walter: W- What happened ?

Darkness: N- No... When I saw your face, I started feeling sick for some rea- HNN !!

Walter: Are you really okay ?

Aqua: Darkness Ojou-sama, your stomach hasn't been doing well since this morning, right ? Right, Darkness ?! If you're not feeling well, then you shouldn't force yourself.

Darkness: Eh ?! No, that's... Not... Move !

"Our apologies. Ojou-sama was looking forward for this meeting with Walter-sama, so... See, she's blushing."

Darkness: Hn... Kh...

Walter: is that so ? That kind of makes me blush too.

Father: Walter-dono. I heard your mansion collapsed recently, are you well ? How about coming to live in my house, even if it's just you ?

Walter: Haha, no, no... If I were to live under the same roof as the beautiful lady Lalatina, it feels like it would be hard to restrain myself...

father: Hahaha, it seems we are rushing things a little here.

Kazuma: 'This is bad, Darkness' about to explode... But that man is a good person with a nice attitude, isn't he ? Even if he's getting on my nerves, why isn't she satisfied with such a fine man... ?'

Father: Well, then. I will be excusing myself. For now, you youngsters should enjoy ourselves. 'I'm counting on you.'

Kazuma: 'Leave it to me.'

'Alright, time for phase two of the plan. Getting on that guy's good side and putting him down.'

Walter: Lalatina-sama, what are your hobbies ?

Darkness: Ah... Eh, um... I slightly enjoy goblin hunti- GUOH !!

Darkness: 'Guh... What are you doing ?!'

Kazuma: 'Idiot ! Say something better than that !'

Walter: ... You two sure get along well.

"You truly have no idea."

Darkness: R- Right ?! I and this butler called Kazuma are together at all times.

Kazuma: 'D- Damn !'

Darkness: During meals, in the bath... And of course, when we sleep at night...

Walter: I- is that so ?

"You shouldn't take so seriously what she says. Ojou-sama can't handle this kind of stress too well, so her words often go past her thoughts."

Walter: Even so, they really are getting along well...

"Well, they are about the same age, so they were raised as siblings more than butler and master. No matter how much I look at it, it makes my heart melt a bit."

Walter: Haha, is that so... I feel jealous...

Darkness: Gh... LET'S STOP THIS ALREADY !! LIKE HELL I CAN KEEP DOING THIS !!

*RIIIIIIIIIIIP*

Walter: La... Lalatina-sama ?

Kazuma: Ooh !

Darkness: YOU SAID YOUR NAME WAS WALTER, HUH ?! HAVE A SWORD DUEL WITH ME ! I'LL SEE FOR MYSELF WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF !!

Walter: Eh ?

Kazuma: WHA... ! YOU... So you're going all out now !

Darkness: I DON'T KNOW YOU AT ALL ! LOOK ! SEE THIS MAN CALLED KAZUMA ! IF YOU CALL YOURSELF A NOBLE, THEN YOU SHOULD TRY GIVING ME ONE OF THESE LEWD LOOK LIKE THE ONE THIS MAN JUST SHOWED !

Kazuma: I- I- I- I didn't do that !

Walter: ... What is going on here ?

"Uhhh... You are starting to see Lalatina... Well, Darkness' true personality resurfacing. Honestly, it's kind of a miracle we managed to keep her contained for so long..."

Darkness: The duel ends when one of us gives up ! Try making ma say, "I can't take it anymore ! Please no more ! Forgive me !!" If you do that, I'll be your wife or anything you want !!

Walter: ... ... ... Lalatina-sama, I'm a knight. Even if it's sparring, I can't point my sword towards a woman.

Darkness: WHAT A COWARD !! That Kazuma right there, you see, he's a self-proclaimed advocate of gender equality, who boasts about how he would throw a dropkick against a female opponent ! Try learning a thing or two from him !!

Kazuma: DAMN YOU ! YOU'VE LOST IT ! THIS CAN'T BE SORTED OUT ANYMORE !!

Darkness: LIKE HELL I CARE ! IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE MORE TO MY LIKING IF I GOT KICKED OUT OF HOME !!

Walter: ... ... This is confusing...

"Ahhh... I swear, you guys. Well then, masks are off I guess. We... Aren't actually employees under the Dustiness house. We came here by Lalatina... Well, Darkness' wish to crash that marriage meeting with you."

Walter: ... I understand. To be honest, I also came here to reject that marriage meeting which my father pushed onto me. ... But, I've changed my mind since I saw you. You're completely different from a noble's daughter you fine anywhere else. Nothing less from the only daughter of the country's confidants. I have grown interested in you. Here I come, lady Lalatina !

Walter: It's my victory. Am I mistaken ?

Darkness: I see... So you're not one of those weaklings noble sons out there. However, this is not the end ! Don't hold back thinking that I'm a woman ! HIT ME WITHOUT CONCERN !!

Walter: As expected of Lady Lalatina !! Then I won't be holding back !!

Darkness: Gh... This nothing... I'm not done yet !!

"My... This guy's swordsmanship really is first-class..."

Darkness: Haa... Haa... What's the matter ? Are you already done ?

Walter: Wha... ? T- That's enough already ! It's clear who the winner is ! Why won't you give up ?!

Darkness: I'm a crusader. If I were to fall to my knees... And yield to the threat in front of me, then who will protect the weak... ?! NO MATTER HOW MUCH I GET BEATEN UP MY HEART WOULD NEVER BREAK ! NEVER !! COME ON, WHAT'S THE MATTER ?! COME AT ME AS IF YOU WANTED TO KILL ME !!

"... Hey, your face is loosening up."

Walter: ... I give up. It's my loss. Even if I win with my swordsmanship skills, I was no match for the strength of your heart... You're a very strong person.

Darkness: What ? It's over already ? How boring. Go train and come back.

Walter: Pff... Ahahaha ! I've totally lost to you, lady Lalatina ! I really have fallen for you.

Darkness: But if we leave things like that, I won't feel satisfied... then... Come, Kazuma. Let Walter see your unorthodox ways !

Kazuma: Huh ?! What are you talking about ?! Who would do something like that...

Walter: I sure want to see it too. The way of fighting of the man whom Lady Lalatina trusts so much.

"Well, you heard them. Show' em the way of gender equality, the way of the Kazutrash."

Kazuma: Gh- You... I get it...The marriage meeting has fallen flat anyway...

"You look disappointed by that, don't you ?"

Kazuma: N- No idea... besides, you don't look like someone who would spread bad rumors about Ojou-sama... And you already know that I'm not a real butler...

Darkness: Now, come at me with everything you've got, Kazuma !! I've been wanting to fight you for once ! Show me your inhuman ways of beating up your opponent using numerous backdoor methods !

Kazuma: Alright ! Then I'll take you on !! CREATE WATER !!

*SPLAAAASH*

Walter Eh ?!

Kazuma: Hm ? Is there something wrong ?

Walter: N- No... I was just thinking that normally you don't use magic in a duel where you're holding wooden swords...

Kazuma: Is that how it works ?

Aqua: So disgusting. Nothing less to be expected from Kazuma, who's unparalleled in sexual harassment. Really disgusting.

Darkness: Fu... HAHAHA ! LOOK, WALTER !! he pretended he was going to duel me with wooden swords then suddenly put me through such shame !! Behold these underhanded techniques !!

Kazuma: Shit ! You just keep running your mouth all you want ! I'll go all out, just as you wished !! FREEZE !!

Darkness: AAAAAAAHH !!

Walter: H- He's a demon !! He uses freezing magic after showering her in water !!

"I mean, he is called Kazutrash for a reason after all."

Walter: K- Kazutrash ?

Darkness: THIS IS NOTHING !!

Darkness: Kazuma... How dare you betray me today... I'll have you receive retribution !

Kazuma: H- hey, I've got a suggestion... Don't you have any plans to reconsider marrying that Walter dude ? He's handsome, has goo swords skills, and I think he's a good person...

Darkness: What ?! That man is not my type at all !!

Kazuma: Eh ? C- Could it be that it's because he's the landlord 's son...

"Kazuma... Your desire of getting rid of Darkness is clouding your mind... The answer is just way more simple... He's not the problem."

Darkness: He is ! he's someone with a reputation so good that you wouldn't think he's the landlord's son, and he is devoted to offering charity to the poor !!

Kazuma: Huh ?! Which part of that is wrong ?!

Darkness: THAT'S NO GOOD !! Somebody else should just do these wonderful things !! These are not things a noble trying to marry me would do !! A smart man with a good personality ?! A perfect, popular, hard-working man, about whom not a single bad rumor exists ?! DON'T JOKE WITH ME !! if you're a noble, you should always put on that dirty smile like nobles do !

Walter: ... ... Should I feel insulted or... ?

"That's just her. You're beginning to see her true personality..."

Darkness: In the first place, the type I like is nothing like that capable man at all !! Mediocre appearance with a slender or plump figure ! And, even though I'm head-over-heels for him, he would ogle at other women right away ! And being a a lecher who's turned on all year round is a must !! I want a slacker drowned in debt, who would get cocky and say he wants to live an easy life ! And without even working at all, he would blame life as he drank booze, and then tell me: "Oi, Darkness. Go use that lewd body of yours and earn us some money !" ! HMNNNNNNNNGH~ !!

"... Am I the only one seeing arrows pointing to... Nevermind."

Kazuma: Damn it ! This girl is hopeless ! it's too late to do anything about her ! THAT'S ENOUGH, YOU ULTRA-PERVERT !! 'Drain Touch' !!

Kazuma: Hey Darkness, how about we make a bet ? The one who wins gets to make the other to do anything they want !

Darkness: V- Very well ! You're probably thinking that you can beat me, but you shouldn't underestimate me ! I'll break your arms before you suck up all my strength !

Kazuma: Now you've said it ! When I win, I won't stop even if you cry or apologize !

Darkness: ... What ? What are you planning to ask of me ?

Kazuma! Something that will make your whole face red, embarrass, and make you cry as you resist !

Darkness: Wh... What... ? What are you planning to make me do ?! TELL ME ! JUST TELL ME !!

Kazuma: Hehehe... You could say it's something way better than what you're imagining right now... You better look forward to what will happen to you once you wake up ! I'll make you my pet-

*F-TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

"I think this is enough. Both of you, settle down."

Kazuma: Gh... You know just like me there's no other way ! She just won't learn !!

"... Speaking of learning... You don't seem to have learned what happens when you double-cross me, have you ?"

Kazuma: Gh...

"... You were trying to get rid of her, weren't you ?"

Kazuma: No... M- Maybe... ? Yes.

"... Haaa... Dance, my swords."

Kazuma: H- Huh... C- Come on, no need to... Please, put them back down... W- Where did you even found so many.. H- hey, no jokes, this isn't funny ! Stop that !! HAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!

*SCHBROM*

"Kazuma versus Darkness. I won."

Walter: What a performance ! A barrage of underhanded attacks, living up to the name Kazutrash ! But that merciless intent you showed, that was beautiful ! In its own way.

"He's still about to get it even worse. Never pick a fight with a psychic in a place filled with weapons."

Kazuma: H- hey, where is this one going ?! Not there, NOT THERE !! NOT-

*SCHUNK*

"That'll teach him. At least I hope."

Walter: But... My devotion is far from enough... I must become more of a man that grants Lady Lalatina's ideals...

"Don't. Really, don't. Don't try to become someone like your father, please. You're fine the way you are."

Father: I wonder if they're still at it. I heard you were going to the training ground, so I brought some refreshments to drin-... ... ... ... ...

"... Crapbaskets."

Aqua: Those two did it.

Father: Okay, execute them.

Walter: NO ! THIS IS A MISUNDERSTANDING !!

Father: My daughter has never been good at dealing with people... Every single day, she would pray to Eris-sama so that she would get adventure comrades. She was over the moon when she got a thief comrade... My wife died when she was a child, so maybe raising her freely as a single man wasn't for the best. She ended up like that...

Kazuma: 'That ? Is he talking about that fetish of hers ? If that's the case, then why did you leave her be until it worsened that much ?!'

"In any case, My apologies for that. We went a bit... Overboard..."

Walter: Lady Lalatina really is a wonderful woman. If it hadn't been for you, I would have wanted her for my wife.

Kazuma: Huh ?! What are you talking abo- !!

Father: Haha, is that so ! If that's the case, then it can't be helped. Please take care of my daughter.

Kazuma: No... I'm telling you !!

"Please don't say it like she's marrying one of us..."

Darkness: ... What ? What happened while I was asleep ?

Father: Ooh, you're awake, Lalatina.

Darkness: Th- This situation !! Could it be that you did something lewd to me while I was asleep ?!

Kazuma: I didn't !! It's your fault that the mood here became all tingly !

Darkness: ... What are you talking about ?

'... Things didn't went as expected... Especially with Kazuma, and I think its time he got payed back. Just to nail him, you should do what we talked about.'

Darkness: 'Now ? Hmm...'

Kazuma: H- hey, what are you muttering about ?! And why are you looking... What's with these grins ?!

"Kazuma... I'm really sorry."

"You know, if things don't go our way, we need a last-resort plan. Something that would instantly convince everyone to not marry you to anyone."

Darkness: Then what ?

"... Kazuma will definitely curse us for centuries for this, but... Who'd want to marry a mother-to-be ?"

Darkness: You want me to...

"Just pretend, of course."

Kazuma: Wh- What are you sorry for ?

"... Heh."

Darkness: Father, Walter-sama, please pretend that this marriage meeting never happened. The truth is... I'm harboring Y/n's child in my belly...

"Pff... ... ... Wait, what ? WHAT ?!"

Walter: Is that so... If his child is in your belly, then it can't be helped. I shall give up.

"What ?! Hey, Darkness, that's not what we talked about !!"

Darkness: ... ... Fufu.

"You... You little..."

Aqua: Awawawa, to think that you and Darkness... You two were always close, but like that... I must spread the news... I must tell everyone in town !

"Don't add oil to the fire, will you !"

Father: O-... Oh... A grandchild... My first, cute grandchild...

"That's not !! AND STOP GRINNING LIKE THAT !!"

Kazuma: Pffrrr... Nice master plan you got there.

"... ... ... I'm done with this. Have fun."

Kazuma: Wha-

*POP*

"And that's how I got here."

Rayleigh: ... ... Really ?

"Nah, I'm messing with you on that one."

"Darkness, I thought it was clear you'd pretend having Kazuma's child, not mine !"

Darkness: I just thought it would have more credibility to my father like that.

Kazuma: Nice karma you got there.

"... Why don't you have a seat ?"

Kazuma: Gh... Asshole...

"So I'm what you lack now ? But still, that Walter was a nice person. I can see why your father was heads over heels about that marriage.

Walter: I'll tell my father that I was the one who declined it. It should be more convenient that way.

Kazuma: Right... So much that I really wanted him to take you.

Darkness: You're still going on about that ?!

Aqua: You really went all out with that last scheme, you know that ? Pretending that Darkness was pregnant and all...

'... I mean... Give time to time, and in a few years... Maybe I wouldn't mind that being the truth...'

Kazuma: What are you muttering about ?

"Nothing, nothing... We're home."

Yunyun: Sniff... This is too much for me, Megumin...

Megumin: Please stop crying already ! If the others saw us like this, it would seem like I'm the bad person... Ah ! THAT'S NOT IT !! I'LL EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW !!

Kazuma: It's fine, really. It's nothing new that you're a bully.

"i need a bath..."

Megumin: No way ! In fact, when we were students, Yunyun... No, this isn't the time to be talking about this ! This is bad ! Sena is headed here right now ! SHE SAID THAT SHE'S DEFINITELY ARRESTING YOU THIS TIME !!