" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Kazuma: Oi, worthless goddess. Stop camping on this seat every damn time, and leave it for me every now and then.

Aqua: Don't wanna. If you want me to leave it for you, pay me compensation. Ye who seekth the residence of the goddess. Thou shalt offer me high-class wine. Do so, a light of warmth shall shine upon thee lost NEET.

Kazuma: Are you retarded ?

"It's funny how you keep forgetting who you're talking to sometimes."

Kazuma: Already back ? Let me guess, still no traces of Darkness ?

"None whatsoever... The idea's been in my mind for some time, but maybe we should go to that landlord's place and-"

???: T-THIS IS BAD ! GUYS, THIS IS REALLY BAD !!

"... Who... Are you... ?"

???: Hmmm... Kh ! Wait, this isn't the time to be messing around ! Leave that kind of play for later !

"Heh... D- Darkness ?! Is that really you ?!"

Darkness: That's right ! Why couldn't you figure it out ?!

"Alright, so... all changes aside, it's good to have you back. But.. really, what happened for you to become... Like that ?"

Darkness: Well...

Aqua: There's no doubt. This is a high-class item. I'm sure that landlord person gave it to you as a reward.

Darkness: WHA ?!

Kazuma: I'm sorry, Darkness... You went through so much for me...

Darkness: Idiot ! What kind of misunderstanding are you making ?! It's not like the landlord did anything weird to me, and this dress is mine !

"... After all you spouted about that noble, can you really blame us for that ? If it's yours, then why do you have it ?"

Darkness: ... please look at this first.

Kazuma: Who's this handsome dude ? He's getting on my nerves.

Darkness: Stop ! Stop trying to tear the marriage meeting picture !

Aqua: HUH ?! MARRIAGE MEETING ?!

Darkness: Huuuh...

"O- Okay, just wait a minute ! Even I'm not following through here ! Just sit back down and explain everything from the beginning !"

Darkness: Ah... Is that so... But, where do I start from... I didn't want to tell you guys, but.. M- My name is Lalatina Ford Dustiness ... I'm the daughter of a reasonably noble house...

Megumin: Dustiness... THAT'S NOT JUST "REASONABLY" NOBLE, THAT'S A RIDICULOUSLY HUGE NOBLE FAMILY !! They're said to be this country's confidants... !

"Eh, seriously ?!"

Aqua: What ?! So, if I become a girl from Darkness' house, does that mean I can leave everyday lavishing in all kinds of luxuries ?

Darkness: N-NO, our house doesn't need any adopted girl at the moment, so...

Kazuma: You... You always have that serious way of talking, yet you had a cute name like "Lalatina" ? Lalatina.

Darkness: THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY NAME ! Ah, geez. Anyway, the man in this picture is Alderp's son.

"His son... ? Guess he took a lot from his mother then."

Darkness: Alderp is trying to make me marry his son and not him. He knew that he would be rejected if he proposed to me... But, when it comes to his son, my father regards him highly. So he got on the good side of my father who was excited about it, in order to get us to marry each other... But, why is Alderp trying to get me to marry not him but his son... ?

"I mean, he'd want to get his hands on your family's reputation and riches that it wouldn't even surprise me... But if it's that, can't you just turn him down or something ?"

Darkness: Up until now, I've been turning him down whenever the marriage meeting topic came up, but... This time, I said I'd do anything he said, and both houses' fathers are that excited about it, so... Wh- What do I do ?! For the past few days, I've been doing all I could to prevent the marriage meeting, but nothing went well, and it was decided to take place at noon today !!

"Noon ?! That's way too soon !"

Darkness: You know... I am satisfied with my current life. If I get famous as an adventurer, the demon king's army will eventually set their eyes on me, and capture me as I make a futile resistance... And then I'll be made to go through some hellish treatment... In an indecent appearance with my hands and feet in shackles...

"I think we all got the general idea, you can stop here. Seriously, please stop. But yeah, I see the problem..."

Darkness: I... was thinking about making up some random reason and rejecting him... And then, I'd like you to come with me to convince my father...

"For that... We'd need someone. An expert at ruining relationships. A person shamed by everyone, a piece of trash with zero charisma whatsoever... We need the best."

Darkness: Where can we find someone like that ?

"Kazuma ? Your opinion on this ? We require the Kazutrash wisdom."

Kazuma: ... ... ... THAT'S IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT !!

Darkness: AAAAAAAAH ?!

Kazuma: Ah. Sorry, sorry, I just thought of something nice ! Listen to me ! Say, how about you attend this marriage meeting ?

Darkness: What ?!

Kazuma: In the end, even if you reject him now, your father will just bring up another one again, right ? And eventually, he might resort to some forceful methods. Then, how about attending the marriage meeting once and ruining it ?

Darkness: What ?!

"I knew you were the man of the moment. But this will need to be carefully weighted."

Kazuma: Of course. Limit it so that it doesn't damage your family's name, and then have the other party reject you. If you do that, what do you think will happen ? Your father will be very careful the next time they bring up the marriage meeting topic.

"So in short, make both your father and the other party think 'This girl isn't a good marriage candidate'. The good thing is, given the... Questionable reputation they have, ruining a marriage shouldn't have that much of a negative impact on you."

Darkness: Th- That's it !! Let's go with that ! If things go well, I won't be able to beat the hell out of my father every time he brings up marriage meetings !

"If only you could hit enemies like you hit your father..."

Aqua: I see, that's nice ! Kazuma, I totally thought you were thinking of something like "If one of the bothersome ones gets married off, I'll be able to get another new member in here instead and take it easy. Yahoo !".

Kazuma: ... ... ...

Aqua: N- No, that's not true ? Don't give me that look.

Father: Oh... is that true, Lalatina ?! You're going to positively consider the marriage meeting... ?

Darkness: Yes, that's true, father. I, Lalatina, am thinking of accepting this marriage meeting.

Aqua: 'Hey, have you heard how polite she is with her father ?'

Kazuma: 'I- Idiot ! More importantly, she refers to herself as Lalatina !'

'Would you two keep it quiet ? We're here for a reason, may I remind you.'

Father: Lalatina... Who might these three be ?

Darkness: ... These people are my adventure comrades. I wish to have them accompany me during this marriage meeting.

Father: Oh my... is that so ? Hmm, but that's...

'Okay, Kazuma, time to get to work. Remember, you must dissuade her father about the meting.'

Kazuma: ... Pleased to meet you. I am Satou Kazuma. I have always been in Lalatina ojou-sama's care. Once this marriage meeting passes without issue, I will most likely be unable to meet ojou-sama, due to the difference in our social standing. Thus, while I understand that I am asking for too much, I wish to do everything I can to see whether her partner will be someone I can entrust my precious comrade to.

Maid: Kazuma sir, is the size suitable ?

Kazuma: ... yes, it seems to be fine.

Kazuma: Aqua, that sure looks good on you. Right now, you perfectly look like a first-rate gofer !

Aqua: And you, Kazuma, are neatly looking like a try-hard apprentice butler. Wouldn't it be nice with you getting bullied by your mean senpai, and crying to yourself out behind the mansion ?

Kazuma: You sure can run your mouth.

"Look who's talking. Kazuma, what exactly were you thinking back there ? We're supposed to break down that marriage meeting, not ensuring it goes well. Seriously, what the hell was with that speech ?"

Kazuma: Hey, even I can nail it when I need to. 'besides...'

Father: You said your name was Kazuma, right ? I have a favor to ask of you. Now... You might think of me as a doting-father, but it's about my daughter, you see... Can you help my daughter so that she doesn't behave carelessly during the marriage meeting ? For some reason, I feel something different about you than other men. Can you, by any means, accept my request ?

Father: Of course, if it goes well, I shall reward you plentifully.

Kazuma: Please leave it to me !!

Kazuma: 'My interests happen to align with her father's too. So it'd be more convenient if I remain by her side as a butler. Fortunately, Megumin who might have sniffed me out, went out because she had something to do. Aqua shouldn't be a problem... But I have to bring him to my side.'

Kazuma: Don't worry, the first step is getting on her father's good side.

"If you say so..."

Darkness: You guys, I'm counting on you. No matter what, this marriage meeting must...

"Leave it to us."

Kazuma: 'Forgive me, Darkness.'

Father: Our guests will be arriving shortly. Everyone, make sure not to do anything rude. But... I'm really happy that you agreed to attend the marriage meeting... I was surprised when Alderp told me before it, but... My eyes are feeling hot...

Darkness: Oh no, father. I only said that I was going to positively consider the marriage meeting.

Father: Hm ? Wh- What does that mean... ?

'Uh- Oh... That's way too soon...'

Darkness: After considering it carefully, I have reached the conclusion that it really is still too early for me to get married. IT'S TOO LATE NOW !! I DID ACCEPT THE MARRIAGE MEETING, BUT I NEVER SAID I WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED ! I'M GOING TO DESTROY IT ! I'M GONNA DESTROY THIS MARRIAGE MEETING !!

Father: La- Lalatina ?!

Darkness: Father... Too bad for you, you should just give up.

Father: D- Don't tell me.. those over there were also... From the beginning...

'Shit... Kazuma, stop her ! If things go off so soon, we'll get busted !'

Kazuma: 'Leave it to me.' Ojou-sama, please refrain from the unbecoming way of talking. It is not befitting of the daughter of the Dustiness house. I shall have you correct it...

Darkness: Hah ?! Kazuma ?! W- Why you ?! Are you planning to betray me ?!

Kazuma: I am not betraying you or anything, Ojou-sama. Right now, I am the Dustiness house's temporary butler. All I wish for is your happiness.

Father: O... Oh, Kazuma-kun... ! I... I can believe in you, right... ?

"Please do not have any worries. Everything will be done by yours truly to ensure ojou-sama's will and happiness."

Maid: Master, he has arrived...

Walter: Thank you very much for inviting me here today. My name is Alexei Barnes Walter-

Darkness: SO YOU'RE MY MARRIAGE MEETING PARTNER ?! MY NAME IS DUSTINESS FORD LALATINA! THAT'S DUSTINESS-SAMA FOR Y-

'Too soon. Kazuma ?'

*SLAP*

Kazuma: Oh my, that was close !! An insect was about to sting the back of Ojou-sama's head !

"Please, accept our apologies for that. Ojou-sama is simply very nervous about this whole thing."

Walter: Is that so ? I too have been nervous since before my arrival.

'Alright Kazuma, here's the plan. You get on her father's good side, I get on that guy's good side, and at the first occasion where her father and the rest of the staff leaves us alone, we're turning him down.'

Kazuma: ... ... ... 'Yeah, count on that...'

Aqua: 'Hey, Kazuma, is this really okay ? Didn't you say we were going to ruin this marriage meeting ?'

Kazuma: It's fine like this. You know about her stupid fetishes that always come out in our adventures, right ? Having her settle down and retire from being an adventurer would let everyone feel at ease. So, you give me a hand too, okay ?'

Aqua: 'You know he won't be happy with that, right ?'

Kazuma: 'As things are, I'm not going against him full frontal. he'd just beat me down until I went his way. So right now, just make him think you're also trying to crash it, and lead him away at the critical moments.'

Aqua: 'Eeh ? It feels like this is just one-sided... But it's true that it feels like things won't end well if she keeps going...'

Darkness: Ah !

Walter: What is the matter, lady Lalatina ?

Darkness: It... It seems like my shoe's heel broke... Walter, would you mind lending me your hand ?

'She's not planning to...'

Kazuma: Ojou-sama, please take my hand. No matter how much interest you may have taken in Sir Walter, you can't let him pamper you before your engagement. It seems Ojou-sama is quite excited toda-

*SKRRRRRRRRR*

Kazuma: Owowowowow it's gonna break ! It will break, so please sto... It's gonna break, I'm tellin' you to stop, Ojou-sama !!

Darkness: 'Damned traitors, why aren't you helping me ?'

'We told you, you've got to keep it to a degree that wouldn't damage your family's name. Right now you're getting way out of control. Please don't do anything that'd give you a bad reputation.'

Darkness: 'I don't mind at all... You better remember that.'

'The same goes for you, Kazuma. Right now, you're leaning way too much on her father's side.'

Walter: Um... Are you alright ?

"It's nothing, really. Please, this way."