" ": You talking

' ': You thinking

* *: Narrator/Voice-off

Your POV:

Kazuma: ... ... A little lower, please...

"Using my telekinesis to hold a tied up Kazuma above the toilet... What did I do to deserve that ?"

Kazuma: You didn't think things through before coming up with your plan.

"Point taken."

Darkness: Kuh... Why did this happen... ? All I wanted to do was to keep you away and protect iris-sama... But for me, a lady of a noble family, to be almost forced to do something so precarious, and to be ordered to look down there... This situation isn't too bad, now that I think about it...

"Stop saying stupid things to yourself. Can you even imagine what would've happened if I didn't decide to come back ?"

Kazuma: I'd rather not, thank you very much. If Megumin or Aqua saw this...

Aqua: ... ... ... ... Uhhhhhh... ... ... What...

"Don't bother. It'd be way too long trying to explain all of this in a way you'd understand."

Aqua: Oh, okay...

Kazuma: Fu, you saved me, Aqua. I was almost forced into a three-day hell by these two perverts over there.

Darkness: Uu... I- I'm not perverted...

"There, there..."

Aqua: Well, I don't really care about the details since it's not the first time these two have been acting like perverts, but just what kind of play were you guys doing ?

Darkness: A- Aqua ?!

"Well, I call this the 'Preventing Kazuma from causing a diplomatic incident'. Remember that whole bodyguard request I received from Iris not too long ago ? So in order for Kazuma to not cause a diplomatic incident, we came to the conclusion to tie him up and keep him in Darkness' house."

Aqua: Well, if you're gonna do that, then don't you deserve to be called perverts, after all ?

"I don't know... Deviant ? Maybe. Pervert ? Not so sure."

Darkness: You don't get it ! The person Iris-sama is engaged to is the first prince of the neighboring nation, Elroad. Furthermore, it seems like the prince is extremely troublesome to deal with. If Kazuma acts like he usually does, and do something disrespectful, there'll surely be some foreign affairs problems.

Aqua: E- Elroad ? Did you say Elroad ? Are we going to the nation of casinos, Elroad ?!

"Aqua, you know if we're going, it'll be for that bodyguard request and not to play around, right... I mean, we can always come back another time for a vacation, but... Uhh, you know what, I'll do this alone, you guys can kick back here, okay ?"

Aqua: ... ... ... ...

"... Hey Darkness, I I recall correctly, the request only mentioned me, right ?"

Darkness: i'm pretty sure it did, yes...

"Then all's good. I'll accept the request, and all of you can tag along for a vacation."

Kazuma: Alright, then after Megumin comes back, let's have a majority vote. Well, even if I say that, since we haven't done any quests or traveled anywhere recently, I don't think she's gonna be against it !

Darkness: Uuuuu...

Megumin: No.

Kazuma: ... Uh ? What do you mean by "No" ? Even though you're always the first one to agree, saying that "I want to defeat a powerful enemy I've never seen before", why not this time ?

Megumin: There's no particular reason. Geez, this man. Normally, you're unwilling to work even if we force you. So why is it you choose to accept the request immediately once Iris gets involved ? You weren't even the one she asked for.

Kazuma: Oh, what's with you ? Jealous ?

Megumin: yes, i'm jealous. Since all that has happened, shouldn't you pay a little more attention to me ?

Kazuma: Eh... Ah, right.

"Well, the work request is for me to accept. You guys would just be there for the fun of going to another country, after all."

Kazuma: yeah, that. I'm not accepting a job, but a vacation proposition.

Megumin: ... Kazuma, does iris really weight on your mind that much ? You do realize that Y/n's the only one whose company she actually enjoys, right ?

Kazuma: N- No, well... I just can't help but feel worried about that girl. Rather than someone of the opposite gender, I worry about her because she tends to worry too much about how people think. As a result, she's not allowed to do anything selfish, and I can't help but get the feeling that she's always lonely...

"You mean, even after you used her body to try and get in a bath with Darkness and stuff like that ?"

Kazuma: H- Huh... ...

"Kazuma, you're an open book... well, in any case, I'm gonna accept the bodyguard request, so this is more deciding if you lot want to tag along to enjoy the sights and stuff."

Megumin: Then let's go. I'm also bothered by that girl. Just now, I was feeling a bit jealous, that's all.

Kazuma: O- Oh.

Aqua: Oh, you're home Megumin. We're having a feast tonight ! ... What happened Kazuma, why is your face so flushed ?

Kazuma: N- N- Nothing, nothing happened ! Right ?

"... Except not I got the feeling the enemy could come from the inside on our way to Elroad..."

Aqua: You know Megumin, if you came home earlier, you would have seen an interesting sight. When I got back, these two had Kazuma completely tied up and were amusing themselves using him.

Megumin: ... ... What ?

"Don't pay her explanation too much mind, you know how she tends to skip the context all the time."

Darkness: Wait, aqua, we didn't plan to amuse ourselves using him ! It's true that we tied him up, but like we said before...

Megumin: ... Well Darkness is in heat all year around, and while what she does to whoever has no relation to me whatsoever, she's still the lady of a great family. that's why I can't approve of her forcing herself onto men, really. But seeing you involved too, did your sadist side really develop that much ?

"Well, it did, but like I said, Aqua forgot the context. Even though without me around, i'm pretty sure there would've been a lot more embarrassing situation for these two..."

Darkness: N- N- N- No... ! It's not like that Megumin, there are circumstances ! Also, don't say that I'm in heat all year round !

Kazuma: ... ... ...

Aqua: Hm, are you curious about the food, Kazuma ? As expected of someone who goes with me to food festivals, your eye for food is quite good. Yes, our dinner for tonight is blowfish ! Not only that, this in particular is know as the king of blowfish, "Paradise Blowfish (Capture level 9) ". Although it's poison is a stage stronger, it's a delicacy that's rated by gourmets as "I don't care if I die after eating this !". Also, the blowfish is currently in season as well.

"Well, regardless of if the name refers to what happens while or after you eat it, I'm kinda impressed that you have a license to cook something like that..."

Aqua: No way I would have a license. Tell me if your body feels a bit numb ok ? I'll cast detoxification magic.

"Could you refrain from actively trying to kill us ?"

Megumin: Hmm, tasty tasty~.

Kazuma: Don't eat it ! Didn't you hear, it's still poisonous !

Darkness: What is it Kazuma ? You're afraid of poison despite being an adventurer ? With Aqua, whose first-rate only when it comes to priest skills, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Aqua: hey, did you just say "Only when it comes to priest skills" ?

Darkness: Not at all.

"... ... Blowfish, huh... ? I guess that's right, after all. Other things aside, your healing magic is really first-class."

Aqua: Did you just say "other things aside" ?

"Not at all."

Kazuma: Hey, this is tasty ! What is this, this is super tasty !

Aqua: It's nice to see you're all happy. Originally, these blowfish were meant to be used by Cecily for attracting new believers. Her amazing strategy involved attracting passerby with the charm of this blowfish. Th, once they eat it, with the condition of detoxification magic, she would force them to convert to the Axis Cult. Well, she was taken away by the police for some reason.

Kazuma: Thank you very much for that.

"You're welcome. Planning to do something like that, I told you to cut your relations with that girl already."

Kazuma: ... By the way, don't the organs of the blowfish have particularly strong poison ?

"Well, if this is similar to our Fugu, then don't touch the liver no matter what."

Kazuma: yeah, that... Aqua, don't get caught up and eat too much, okay ? Your presence is meaningless if you get paralyzed and can't move when it matters, alright ?

Aqua: Idiot, what i'm wearing are divine treasures, you know ? It's an amazing article that can nullify any harmful conditions. there's no way the poison of a blowfish could have any effect, you know ?

Kazuma: It feels like we already had that conversation before...

"Yet you can't hold your liquor and constantly get wasted on booze... What about the rest ?"

Darkness: Fufufu, fhat's up. At may fevel, may resistasnce to roison is quite...

"Your tongue is so numb we can't even tell what you're saying anymore."

Kazuma: H- Heh... ?

Kazuma: Hm, Hey Aqua ! This firl ish... Eh, I fan't speak clearly...

"Don't fother... fhe's out..."

Darkness: Suhaha... !

Kazuma: You liffle, don't fet drunk so fuickly! Get up ! I shed get up... !

"Let's agree not to talk about what happened last evening, right ?"

Darkness: About that... Are you sure taking Iris-sama's request is a good idea ? Even if we disregards kazuma's bad attitude and the potential of things going the wrong way with everyone here, isn't there a risk we might fail the bodyguard request ? What other party besides ours would be almost wiped out by blowfish ?

"Probably about any party that has Aqua preparing dinner I think. I already told you, i'm the one accepting the bodyguard request, so the rest of you guys just enjoy this vacation. Hear that, Kazuma ? You're not on a mission, so even if we might be on the same convoy, you're not to get any close to Iris."

Darkness: Thank Eris for that...

Kazuma: I heard that !

"Also, where is aqua ? She went to drop Zel and Chomusuke off to Wiz's shop, wasn't she... Don't tell me she picked another fight with Vanir...

Aqua: Heeeey ! I've dropped them off. When that depraved masked guy saw Chomusuke, he said "Ohohoho, I look away for a mere moment, but another interesting development has occurred ?! Fuhahahaha !" and started rolling around or something. Well, there shouldn't be any problems either way.

"... 'The concentration of Demon King's generals in this shop is getting ridiculous...' So, are we all ready to go yet ?"

Kazuma: Hey, let me be the one to talk with the Teleport's store owner. I've wanted to complain about this place since forever.

Darkness: Complain ? You, did you have some sort of fight with the store owner ?

Kazuma: ... ... Yo, old geezer, i'm here again ! Could you please teleport me to the Capital ?

Shopkeeper: Welco-... Aren't you that wanted man, Satou Kazuma ?! Didn't I already tell you that you're not allowed to Teleport to the capital ?! Is your memory that bad ?!

Darkness: Y- You, I look away for a moment and you tried to meet Iris-sama !

Kazuma: Yeah. I don't know whether or not it's the handiwork of that noble named Claire, but i'm apparently not allowed to Teleport to the Capital. But not this time. Here old guy, look at this ! This is a written invitation from royalty. This is official, so don't get it dirty, alright ?!

Shopkeeper: ... Is this real ? You didn't forge this somewhere right ? A while ago, you even threatened me by saying "if you mess with me, who's related to the Dustiness family, something bad's gonna happen" remember, ?

Darkness: Kazuma, come here for a moment, I want to have a word with you.

"That letter's also not addressed to you, so give me that, would you ?"

Kazuma: I refuse. Hey old geezer, these people here are the Lady of the Dustiness house and owner of the Windings company.. If you live in this city, you should have some impression of them, right ? Then you know I wasn't lying, right ?

"... ... Don't tell me you've started using my name as well to get you way with people... Look, I'll handle this, you lot settle your disputes somewhere else."

Darkness: Sounds good. Don't just tell me "I refuse" Kazuma ! I told you to stop using my name for any weird thing ! You didn't abuse the authority of my family to do anything, right ?

Kazuma: I didn't do anything more than mention your name when Aqua was kicked out of a high-class restaurant because of her clothing, okay ?

Aqua: I didn't do anything more than say that "I would have a word with Darkness" if the carpenters refused to perform maintenance and reconstruction on the Axis cult's church.

Megumin: I didn't do anything more than say that "This is something that young lady Lalatina will eat, so please give me the tasty parts" when I was buying the ingredients for dinner.

Darkness: Uhh... Uhhhhhhh...

"... You get the gist of it. I've been summoned to the capital for official business by the princess, so..."

Shopkeeper: Oh, of course. If it's you and lady Dustiness, I won't charge you for the Teleport request.

Darkness: I'll pay ! I'll pay the full price ! I can't allow myself to cause anymore trouble for the citizens of this town !

"... Kazuma, there's quite a lot of things we'll have to discuss after we're done with all of this. The same goes for the two of you, so don't try to pretend you're not involved."

Shopkeeper: Teleport !