In the two weeks after the incident, it became clear that Vir was genuinely upset. He drowned himself in work, refusing to see me more than five minutes at a time.
Wanting to give him some space, I left him alone, trying to get some work done myself. I summarised seven more files - something about trading relations with surrounding packs, and  recent developments and circumstances for diplomatic purposes, amongst other subjects - and started on scheduling appointments. Betty also taught me how to properly speak to close business contacts, how to dress appropriately for a personal assistant - I hated that - and how to make arrangements for the annual Alpha meetings in Sapientiae. In the mean time, I was low-key trying to figure out how the Hell I was going to change the coordinates of that Goddamn train.
Each night, I went to bed exhausted, only to wake up early and work myself into exhaustion again.
It wasn't until I received  a call from my mom that I realised I felt oppressed. In this environment, I didn't feel like myself, because I couldn't act like myself. I had to be a polite and *well-spoken* young woman, acting intelligent and arrogant like everyone else. I had to dress the part, too. Dark blue suits for women, white, plain blouses and moderately high heels. Hair neatly styled into a high bun, sparkly jewels and simple make-up.
When my mom called me and I heard her voice, it reminded me of who I was back in my own pack. I had been working at the time she called, so I was only able to hear her through voicemail.
"Hey sweetie, it's mom. I hope you are well. You haven't called lately, so I presume you've been busy. So, ehm, your dad's anniversary is coming up soon, and I was wondering if you'd be home for that? See it as a little holiday. We can do as we always do, you can meet up with Allison, maybe spar a bit together as you used to do here. You can also bring your mate, if he is okay with us knowing who he is. Yes, ehm, that's about it, I think. Let me know if you'll be there. Love you, sweetie, bye."
I heard the message and the first thing I did was check the date. Indeed, the anniversary of my dad's death was in precisely a week. That day I was supposed to be with my mom, there was no other option.
I would ask if Vir wanted to come with me. It was a very sad day, every year, and I would need his comfort, even though he didn't really know how to offer it.
Maybe he would do it for me. Besides that, it was a good moment to introduce him to my mom. It would also be a nice change of scenery, maybe I would finally be able to be myself for a while.
Yes, this would be good for me.

I waited until three days later before I asked him to come with me. I wanted to leave the day before dad's anniversary, then at least I'd be on time. When Betty told me I should just go up because he didn't have anything planned, but wasn't free either this week, I breathed in and out a couple of times before going.
"Heyhey!" I said immediately after coming in.
Vir didn't answer, completely engrossed in writing things down with chalk on his blackboard. His long fingers were clinging onto the chalk with great pressure, as he scribbled down ununderstandable mathematical formulas. His curly hair was messy, as if he'd just gotten out of bed. It was kind of hot.
"Hello? Vir?"
He grumbled something as an answer, not actually looking up one second. I decided to wait for a while to let him finish his writing. That took about half an hour, which I spent looking around the office I had come to know so well. An entire bookcase with books similar in shape and size,  perfectly ordered alphabetically. His desk, straight aligned with the bookcase. Pens, pencils, erasers and rulers, neatly placed next to each other. The carpet, without a single spot. The leather chairs, each exactly in the same angle and distance from the desk. The black- and whiteboards, with beautifully written equations, numbers and formulas.
"Thank you for waiting." Vir stood up straight and looked up me with a grateful, yet annoyed expression, his pupils dilating the longer he looked at me, his eyes softening. "What do you need." It wasn't a question, yet still I answered as if it was one.
"The anniversary of my dad's death is in a couple of days, and I was planning on going back to the Fortis Pack for a few days to be there with my mom."
I hadn't even finished talking before he gave his answer.
"Yes sure, go ahead." He said, and he went back to writing on the board.
I cleared my throat to regain his attention. "I was wondering if you could come with me. You know, as emotional support, and to meet my mom..." I trailed off when he looked at me as if I was stupid.
"Do I look as if I have the time? I'm busy, Livia, if you didn't see."
Ouch, that hurt. Still I tried. "Can't it wait a couple of days? Surely you can make some free time. It doesn't have to be more than a day."
"No," he said harshly, "it can't wait. In fact, it should have been done weeks ago already."
Only then I really looked at him. He seemed tired, exhausted even. The stress he was feeling had to be enormous, considering the weighed it seemed to put on his shoulders.
At once, I felt guilty. Here I was, pushing him, while he already was so stressed. Maybe if I could help him, it would remove the burden a bit.
"Okay, okay. Can I help you with any of it?" I asked, a worried undertone slipping into my voice as I walked a bit closer to him.
He just took a step backwards. "No you can't, I can't possibly see how you could help."
I didn't give up that easily, determined to prove to be of use. "I'm sure there is something I can be of assistance with, right? Even talking about it can help, I'll listen and try to give you a new insight or something."
He then exploded right in my face. "Get it through your thick skull, woman! You can't help! I have trouble solving these problems, how can you fathom what they are even about! How can someone with your intellect possibly help me with something as complex as this? Answer me that, Livia!" He screamed at me, his face red with anger.
I stepped back in shock, my heart clenching painfully. My eyes burned with unshed tears at his words.
"I understand," I said with a small voice. "Someone as stupid," I spat out the word in disgust, "as me, shouldn't even be associated with you. Thanks, Vir. I just wish you'd told me earlier. Would have spared me a lot of trouble." I felt one tear spill on my cheek, and I wiped it away furiously with the back of my hand. Walking back to the door, I shook my head at Vir, more tears spilling from my eyes. He just stood there, breathing heavily, the piece of chalk he was carrying snapped into two pieces and fell on the ground.
"Just so you know, I'm going back home, where I am appreciated. Don't expect me back. Goodbye, Alpha."