Art credit to: thebirdfromthemoon (I think I'm sorry if I got it wrong but that's what it says in the image so it's my assumption.)

A/N: The video made me cry tbh. And I never cry.

Marinette opened the doors to the school. Music blared in her ear as she scanned everyone dancing and having a good time.

"Marinette!" A voice called out to her. She looked in the direction she heard it from to see Snow.

"Hey, Snow. The dance turned out great." I complimented her. She was the head of the dance committee. Not many people were on the committee. Just her, Nathanael, Rose, Juleka, Mireille, and another girl in a different class name Hazel.

"Thanks. And, thank you for the dress. I'm glad you could came! Alya and the boys are by the DJ booth. I'll see you later." Marinette thanked her and they had a quick hug before going different ways.

Adrien was talking to Alya and Nino by the DJ booth. Nino had the music on shuffle for now. And then Alya asked a question that startled Adrien.

"Do you think Marinette is okay?" Alya asked the boys. Adrien and Nino were dead silent.

"I-I know it's a random thought but, she's skinnier. Really skinny. And her eyes are gray. She's always tired and never hangs out with anyone anymore." Adrien understood what Alya was talking about. He surprisingly knew more about what Marinette was hiding than Alya.

"Well-" Adrien started but was cut off by a small 'hey'.

He turned to see Marinette. His jaw dropped, she looked gorgeous. Her dress fit her perfectly and her gloves made her look more like a princess. But Adrien did know what those gloves hide.

"Mari!" Alya squealed, hugging her best friend.

"I thought you were staying home, Dudette." Nino chuckled.

"Well, I guess I changed my mind." She giggled. Her smile was bright and real. For once in a long time.

"Hold on, I got to put on a song." Nino said and hopped up onto the DJ booth. He cut the song that was playing and picked up the mic.

"Alright dudes and ladies, time for a slow song! Find a special someone!" Nino cut off the mic and played Thousand Years by Christina Perri.

Nino jumped down and grabbed Alya's hand. They went off to the dance floor, leaving Marinette and Adrien.

"Would you like to dan-"

"ADRIKINZ!" Adrien's voice was disrupted by Chloe.

"Come dance with me, I need to talk to you." Chloe demanded. Chloe dragged Adrien off, Adrien stuttering while trying to get out of her grip.

Marinette gave him a sad smile. Once he was out of view, her features saddened. After a minute of standing, her legs were slightly shaking and she felt weak and tired just by standing. She sat down in one of the chairs against the wall.

"Maybe this was a bad idea, Tikki." Marinette mumbled to her kwami that was hiding in a secret pocket on the dress.

Adrien and Chloe were in the middle of the dance floor.

"You chose an amazing tux, Adrikinz." Chloe admired his black tux and silk green tie.

"What are you wanting to talk about Chloe?" Adrien sighed. Adrien wasn't a fan of Chloe right now. But he could never hate her. She was his first friend and for a long time, only friend.

"I just wanted to talk to my beloved friend. Is that too much to ask? So, how's your dad?"

Chloe actually seemed like she wasn't up to anything for once. When the song was over, she went back to go find Sabrina. Adrien walked back over to where he last saw Marinette, but she wasn't there.

He was about to look somewhere else but then noticed her sitting one of the chairs in the corner. She was watching the crowd of people dancing and didn't even notice when Adrien sat down beside her.

Adrien studied her. She smiled at the crowd of happy people. It was a broken smile.

Marinette wished she was as happy as everyone else. It was something she yearned for. But she always felt trapped, away from the light, away from the happiness. And Alya wasn't wrong. Marinette was skinny, and her eyes were dull.

Marinette POV

I wanted to just go back home. I wasn't comfortable and I want to sleep. But then again, I'm never comfortable. I'm hungry, but even thinking about eating makes me feel sick.

"What're you thinking?" I was startled and fell out of my seat by the sudden voice. I heard a chuckle. I recognized his chuckle anywhere

"Need a hand?" Adrien asked, offering for me to take his hand. I accepted and I was back on my feet. As soon as I was up. My head started spinning and I lost balance.

"Marinette, are you okay?" Adrien asked as he kept me standing.

"Y-yeah. I just stood up too fast." I explained. This wasn't the first time this has happened.

"Let's go get you some water." Adrien lead me to the table filled with sweets, snacks, and drinks.

"Thank you Adrien." Marinette thanked the sunshine boy once he handed her a cup of water.

They talked for a little bit, and then a force bumped into Marinette making her fall on Adrien. They fell to the floor and Marinette's cup of water flew up in the air. A ear splitting shriek scared the bluenette.

"You klutz! You ruined my €10,000 designer dress!"

'Oh god, please no.' Marinette thought in fear. Adrien and Marinette stood in front of the furious blonde.

"I-I'm sorry!" Marinette apologized, tears threatening to fall.

"Save it! I swear, all you do is cause disaster and misfortune. Do everyone a favor and just go the hell away. Die in a ditch or something." Chloe growled.

"Chloe!" Adrien snapped back.

"Okay." That's all Marinette said.

"Wha-" But before Adrien could finish, Marinette ran off.

"Ugh. Thank goodness she left before she ruined anything else." Chloe and Sabrina walked off to go dry Chloe's dress off.

Adrien started walking around to find Marinette. He saw Alya, Nino, and Snow talking so he decided to go ask if they've seen Marinette.

"Have any of you seen Marinette? She ran off." Adrien asked worried.

"What do you mean 'she ran off'?!" Alya demanded.

"Is she okay?" Asked Snow who was playing with her necklace.

"I don't know. There was an incident with Chloe." Adrien sighed in frustration.

"Oh hell no. Nino, let's go. We need to find Mari. Snow, check the restroom." Alya lifted the bottom of her dress up slightly so she could walk faster. And so Snow, Nino, and the pissed off/worried Alya went separate ways from Adrien while he checked outside.

He opened the doors of the school to see rain pouring down. He was about to walk back inside but he saw something on the stairs. Someone. Her. She was sitting in the pouring rain, unfazed by it at all.

She didn't care. About her hunger, about her cuts, about her health, about her sanity, about herself.

Adrien pulled out his phone and put Alya, Nino, and Snow in a group chat, letting them know where she was. He slipped off his suit jacket and walked towards Marinette.

He draped the jacket over her shoulders, causing her to flinch.

"You startled me." She said bluntly. Adrien sat down beside her. Her hair was soaking wet and sticking to her face. He didn't know what to say to her. So he hugged her.

Marinette POV

Adrien pulled me into a hug but I didn't hug back. I appreciated the warmth since I was shivering but I couldn't get myself to hug him. I just couldn't get myself to stop thinking about that pathetic girl.

She cuts herself.
She's depressed.
She's ugly.
She's stupid.
She's suicidal.
She's nothing.
She's...me.
I'm the pathetic girl.

"Marinette?" Someone else stood beside me, holding an umbrella over us. Alya.

I looked up at her and saw Nino and Snow standing behind her.

The dance was ending, so people started leaving. Snow walked away after giving me a sad smile and held the door for everyone leaving the dance.

"Marinette, it's going to be okay. Tomorrow is a new day." Alya said trying to cheer me up. I appreciate her trying to always cheer me up. But it's like what she's saying is being blocked out of my mind.

That's all I seemed to be doing anyway. I have stopped...living. I'm literally just trying to make it to the next day. Just living in the thought of tomorrow. I'm not living, I'm waiting. I'm surviving. I'll think about how tomorrow might be better. But tomorrow, seems blank. Pitch black darkness is all I can imagine.

Alya bent down a hugged me. When she let go, I slowly stood up so I wouldn't lose my balance.

"I better go home." I sighed.

"I'll walk you." Adrien offered. Marinette hesitantly nodded. I looked at my three best friends, and my newer friend that was walking back over. I looked at Alya.

A hidden tear fell from my eyes as I hugged Alya. Alya hugged back without hesitation.

"Thank you." I sniffed into Alya's shoulder. Alya hugged me tighter in response. I let go of Alya and hugged Nino, my first friend.

"Thank you, Nino." I whispered.

"Of course. You're my sister." Nino mumbled. I pulled away and hugged Snow. Snow hugged back, but a look of sorriness and despair was clear on her face.

"Thanks, Snow." I thanked then pulled away. I looked at the three I just hugged, and turned away.

Alya handed Adrien the umbrella to hold over himself and I as he walked me home. We crossed the crosswalk and walked over to the doors that lead to the stair to get to my apartment. He walked me to my front door. I let out a deep breath, and turned to face him.

"Thank you. So much Adrien." I hugged him. I breathed in the scent of his cologne mixed with rain. My ear was against his chest and I listened to his heartbeat and pulled away.

He put his hands on my shoulders and looks straight into my eyes.

"Please be happy." He said. He sounded like he was begging. I wish I could. He took me by surprise, by kissing my forehead.

"Okay." I replied, trying hard to not let my voice crack. I looked into his green eyes. The green eyes that have given me a sense of balance.

I opened my front door, my parents still at Nadja's.

"Bye Adrien." I waved slightly and closed the door to my house.

I looked around. I looked at the living room that papa and I played video games at. I looked over at the kitchen, where maman watches us while she brews tea.

"Marinette? Are you okay?" A red ball of light drew me away from my thoughts.

"I'm fine Tikki."

I walked up to my room, undressed, hung up my dress for it to dry, and walked to the bathroom.

I looked into the bathroom mirror. My mascara ran down my face, my eyes were dull, I could see my ribs, my scars on my arms, my scars on my thighs, my scars on my hips. I sighed and turned on the shower faucet.

I let the water run for a minute so it could warm up before stepping in.

Once I stepped in the shower, the cuts that haven't healed started to burn. But I ignored it. I thought about everyone I appreciate the most.

Maman and Papa. My loving parents. My parents were my only friends for a long time. I didn't mind though. Papa always loves to play video games with me and Maman loves to bake with me.

Alya. My best friend. She protected me from Chloe since day one. She took care of me when I had my bad panic attack. I know Alya would take a bullet for me. She forgives all my dumb mistakes. She's like my sister.

Nino. He's been my friend for four years. He looks after me like how a brother would. Him and I were Jagged Stone fans before Jagged even became a big hit. He's always thoughtful, every time he goes to Morocco to see his grandparents and other family, he brings me back a Moroccan rose. Which are my second favorite flowers.

Snow. She saved me from freezing to death. She cleans off my locker before I see hateful comments on it. And she gave away her biggest secret for me.

Tikki. My precious kwami. She gave me something no one else really could. A freedom. An escape. Bravery. She gives me advise. She's one of the greatest blessings that I have ever had in life.

Chat. My goofball partner. I love him. He's always there for me. He checks up on me as Marinette. And he protects me as Ladybug. He's the biggest flirt and has the worst puns ever. But I love him.

Adrien. My first crush. The first person I ever loved. He's such an important part of my life. I love him, so much. To the point where it aches. But I don't deserve him. He checks my arms to see if there are any new marks, so I started cutting my thighs and hips. He makes sure I eat when we go get lunch, but sometimes I just throw it up. He watches after me. How I treated him on the first day we met, will always be my biggest regret. I love him. I will always love him.

Chloe. She convinced me to know where I belong.

I turned off the shower and stepped out. I picked up the light pink towel and wrapped it around myself. I went back into my room and grabbed underwear and pajamas.

I pulled on my black sweatpants, pink cotton t-shirt, and a black hoodie. I dried my hair a little more with my towel before butting it in a simple low bun. I went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I looked into the mirror again. My bangs were covering part of my eye and a few pieces of hair were covering the other. My hair was messy, my mascara stained my eyelids, and my face was paler. I sighed and leaned against the sink, hiding my face in my hands.

Okay.

I heard the door downstairs opened and close. Maman, Papa, and Roe were home. I took a deep breath, and made my way down stairs.

When I'm at the bottom of the steps, I see that Papa is taking Roe to her room. Roe was passed out over Papa's shoulder.

"I remember him carrying you in. All tired out from a day playing in the sun." Maman put her hand on my shoulder, remembering the first part of my life. Papa quietly closed the door behind him and came back in the living room.

I hugged Papa, not wanting to let go. I wished him goodnight and kissed his cheek and then hugged Maman. I kissed her cheek and told her goodnight. Once she pulled away, I held her mom's hand and dad's. And once I let go of their hands, I let go.

I walked back up the stairs and looked through one of my dresser drawers. Under a bunch of clothes was a key. I grabbed the key and locked the trapdoor, and broke the end of the key so the lock was jammed.

I took off my hoodie because I started to sweat. I took in deep breaths, trying to relax and not let anxiety take over. I climbed the latter to my bed and then the latter to my balcony.

I breathed in the cool winter air. The city of Paris lit up like a million fireflies. I looked at the Eiffel Tower. All my memories with Chat there. The promise I made to Paris there.

I leaned one arm over the railing and rested my head on the other. I felt this wonderful Peace for the first time in a long time.

"What're you thinking, Princess?" A voice behind me said. I was startled and jumped.

"Jesus, Chat you scared me." I groaned. I hid my arms behind my back. He chuckled a little bit but saw my nervousness and discomfort.

"I know Princess. You don't have to hide it." He said with a sad smile. I moved my arms a little bit, looking down at my feet. Chat lifted my chin. I looked into his green cat eyes. I could see that he cared. But I didn't.

"I'm going to go to sleep soon. You should get going." I hugged him. He tensed a little bit but returned the hug. I listened to the steady beat of his heart.

I pulled away and walked to the trap door, fighting back a few tears.

"Goodnight Princess." He called out in a comforting voice.

"Goodbye Chat." I looked away and slowly climbed down. I sat on my bed and looked out the window. I saw Chat go off into the night.

"It's late, Mari. You should get some rest." Tikki said as she sat down on my shoulder.

"I know. Goodnight Tikki." I picked her up in my hands and kissed her small cheek. She giggled a little bit and flew over to a pillow.

Lucky jumped up on my bed and laid down in front of me. I chuckled and stroke his fur until he was asleep. I looked over at Tikki, and she wasn't glowing as much which meant she was sleeping.

Okay.

I climbed down from my bed and sat down on my desk chair. I reached out to my printer and grabbed some paper.

I picked nine pieces of paper and put the rest back. I laid them out, and wrote out eight names, one on each paper, leaving the last one blank.

Okay.

1...

A/N READ: hey guys. I know I haven't been active as much but I hope this long chapter makes up for it. The reason I haven't been active tho, is bc ive had really bad anxiety for weeks, with anxiety attacks every night. My friends decided it was bc of stress from writing. So they told me to take a break. I was planning on putting an update on the 7th but I had to pack. On the 8th was my birthday and I had a plane to catch on that day. And the 9th I had to hang out with my family on the beach. So I hope y'all liked this chapter!