I wear glasses
. I hate it when people ask " why do you wear them?". I'd be like "duh! They just grew out of ma face!!"
Im wearing them cuz.... IM PRACTICALLY BLIND WITHOUT THEM!!!! IN FACT I CANT FIND MY GLASSES WITHOUT HAVING THEM ON!!!!!!
Lemme tell you a story... how I got my glasses.
So back in sixth grade ... I had this huge mania to get glasses cuz I thought they look good on me. It's like wanting to get your ears pierced or hair dyed pink or getting a tattoo.
I kept telling my mom... " hey can't I get glasses??" And she's like " stop your nonsense!!! You will understand if you actually have an eye problem!!! Cherish what you have!!"
So ...... around seventh grade I had troubles seeing the board. I ignored it cuz I was actually scared?? What if I actually happened to get glasses? What if I look HORRIBLE in them? WWWHHAAAT IF GO I BBBLLLIINNDD????
One day we had monthly tests . Teacher put up the quiz on the board ..asked us to copy it down.
That's when I realized I ACTUALLY CANT SEE A FUCKING THING!!!
Usually I would peep in to someone else 's book but see .. I can't do that in the EXAM!!!!
So I told teacher that I can't see
She asked me to come and sit closer to the board. So I shifted to the first raw which was practically few inches away from board. And........ yeah.....I STILL COULD NOT SEE A THING!!!
That's when it hit me
I've ignored too long
I freaked out and told teacher I still couldn't see cuz..... WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO????
Now she..... she had got an attitude
She was clearly irritated... can't blame her .. like how is she supposed to deal with it?? And she said the worst thing I could have imagined at that moment.
"May be you are going BLIND "

NOW BISH......LOOK HERE
You see a really badly injured man who is practically gulping for breath and on the edge of life. Ok? It's crystal clear to you that he IS dying.ok? And it's like obvious that he will ok?
Would you still tell him;" dude seriously.... maybe you're going to DIE"???!!!!!
What the absolute fuck??? Is that your vision as a teacher??? To scare the shit out of a dying man??
But believe me.. I was only 12 back then and wasn't as half as sassy or matured as I am now. So what was my reaction??
Obviously I CRIED
LIKE INFONT OF THE WHOLE DAMN CLASS!! I CRIED AS IF SOMEONE WAS DEAD!!!

Now teacher freaked out .

So she lemme copy the quiz right from the original thing.
I decided I should tell mom
That night ....
" mom... I think I NEED glasses "
Mom looked at me from her favorite show " stop kidding around "
" IM NOT!!" I screamed in my head" I CANT SEEE!!!"
Mom must have seen my tears cuz she asked me what happened. I told her everything . What happened in school.. how I cried cuz I was afraid.
She turned back to tv screen
" read those names" she told me pointing at the cast.

Hah? HAH??? HAHHHHHHH????!!!!

I couldn't see big ass letters on a big ass board mom!!! You are asking me to read a fucking  cast on a 24 inch tv screen????
" mom .... I told you" I said after hopelessly squinting at the screen for 15 minutes "I can't see"

Next day I was dragged to the doctor and it was confirmed. I had an eye problem . And I got glasses.

That's all folks!! That's how I got my glasses.
But....
I think that's the day I figured out how things work out.

I had a problem
And I was asked to prove it
By my own mom... she didn't believe me. She thought I was acting up.
Good thing doctor proved it

Proved that I was struggling

But how was I supposed to prove my other struggles??? Where should I turn if they ask me to prove the problems I myself don't understand??

Why won't they believe me just cuz I say so???
I didn't want to be asked to read a cast when I can't even see where I m stepping

Maybe that's when I started to talk to myself. Tell my problems to me. And never talk about them with others.
That's when I started hiding pieces of myself here and there. That's when I started pretending.
Like come on !!! You can always tell yourself anything!! That's you anyway!

Or so I thought......