Important notes - the point system has changed. Also, please note that I've made this book public, because I received feedback from members that it was difficult to participate because the book was private and no one gets notifications. So be warned that your comments here are now public. 

IMPORTANT NOTE - point system has changed!

To earn your points, you must report back here after you've finished your critique. All critiques are now worth 25 points. Observation/reader reports are now mandatory. They can be long or short (minimum 200 characters). Critiques (and reader reports) garner you 25 points in total, including your report back here. People who participate by commenting on other reports by other critters will be awarded additional points.

FEATURED STORIES for Critique August 20-31

MattParker0708 - Engines and Demons: the Undestined - Chapters 2i and 2ii. 

(for new people, you can start from the beginning to now for 50 points)

In the last round of critiques for the prologue and chapter 1, I agreed with Matt's previous critics, and found that the rapid pov switching and world identity (alien planet with medieval earth culture) wasn't working. I recommended that Matt give each pov their own chapter. I also recommended that Matt choose between alien planet/terminology/history, or alternate-earth/terminology/history, and keep it consistent. I also felt that he used flowery prose and could do with a good prune, especially in the prologue. 

takeapaige disagreed with me and felt the flowery language was nice in the prologue. 

Matt's notes about what he would like critics to focus on: E & D was originally written with an older audience in mind, but Matt would like to hear people's thoughts on whether it might appeal to a more teenage/young adult audience. He's keen to get a more sci-fi perspective on it -- with it leaning towards fantasy, what do people think about it as a piece of science fiction writing?

Building on what we've already talked about, Matt is considering the possibility of not having the chapters split with alternating POVs. He'd like more feedback about that. Any thoughts on Sir Kralaford's scenes, which are currently in Chapter 2, being combined into an opening chapter would be good. Similarly, thoughts on other characters having their own chapters would be helpful.

loeley - The Empress Star - Chapter 1: Lord Admiral Holland: Diagnosis

Some of you might have read parts of Lorin's novel, The Empress Star, in the past in a previous writing group. If that's the case, then you are welcome to read further, into chapter 2. 

However, Chapter 1 is largely revised, as Lorin has just finished making some major edits. She would be happy to hear from new and old readers if this new Chapter 1 would propel you to read on. 

You can comment in line on the work. 

CRITIQUE GUIDELINES - please read, revised rules regarding points!

Critiques are 3000 characters minimum (NOT words -- characters). 

A proper critique is worth at least 25 points; there are 3 steps to a proper critique in this group:

Step 1: Please choose one or both of the featured stories and give a minimum 1000 character critique FOR EACH CHAPTER. That means 3000 characters (not words) in total. You can lump that all into one critique of all three chapters, or critique each chapter with a minimum 1000 characters each. This step is worth 15 points, 5 points per chapter.

Step 2: IF you give a critique, then you must come back here and tell us who you critiqued to earn your points. We need to know so that if someone isn't receiving any critiques then we will close down one story to let the other story get some time in the limelight. This step is worth 5 points. 

Step 3: Beyond telling us who you critiqued, please also share your main findings. And please feel free to share a portion of your critique here. Make sure you tag the author in your report. Also please read and respond to the comments of other members on the same piece, whether you agree or disagree with their observations. This step is worth 10 points. This step is worth 5+ points; 5 for your report and 5 for additional participation in the comments. 

Critiquing Reminder

No judgements, only observations. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing. What isn't your cup of tea will be somebody's feast!

Describe: What's going on? What are you experiencing as you read?

Interpret: What do you think the author was intending? Where do you think it's headed?

Evaluate: Is it working? WHY? (don't forget the 'because' in your criticism. "It's not working because dada-dada-dada." YOU MUST SAY WHY something is or is not working.

Consider: Setting, Plot, Characterisation, Pace, Writing Quality, Dialogue, Theme, etc.

Accepting Criticism Reminder

Listen. Be quiet and listen.

Don't defend your writing! Don't respond to negative criticism if you feel upset about it. Take a break and come back to it later. We all have bad days. Don't look at criticism when you're having a bad day.

Appreciate and be grateful to your critics -- they have taken their time to read your writing and give you their thoughts! Remember, they aren't trying to hurt you or take you down. We are all here to help each other succeed in our writing.

IF you feel capable of responding to criticism, then focus on what you've learned from the critique. If you feel comfortable you may try to explain why you did something, and ask for ideas on how you might do it better in the next draft, from their perspective. But again, don't get defensive and start explaining why it's great the way it is. Accept the person didn't see or understand what you were trying to do.

Take what works for you and leave the rest behind.