Sebastian Bach is Jasper Bates

"Man, this guy must be obsessed with you or something..."

——

Christy Turlington is Pippa Peck

"It's kind of sweet, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable..."

——

Cindy Crawford is Mary Hickey

"That's a stalker..."

——

Tommy Lee is Mark Lloyd

"Ho Ho Ho bitches! Shit! Corporate's here..."

——

Paulina Porizkova is Scarlett Haney

"Interestingly enough, I don't give a damn..."

——

Vince Neil is Ewan Wyatt

"Yeah but there's not much in the tit department. Anyway, good luck, man..."

——

And that's the main cast! There are 11 other characters, but they're mostly just background. You'll meet them later.

What do you think? Anyone you want to punch yet?

Maybe not, but we'll get there :)