chapter 30

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this is it, folks! hope you enjoyed it!

■□■□

April 29.

The day of your death.

Just kidding.

Well you wish you were dead.

Because you cannot do this at all.

25 days have passed. In all of those days, you have been anxious, hesitation was running through your mind. Should you confess?

You checked the time; it was already 11 in the evening. Yes, it was a school night, but the chance of you and Adrien staying up is very rare. Now, with the addition of Alya. While you were chatting with him, you are chatting with Alya as well.

But he doesn't need to know that.

Right now, 11:04 PM, you and Adrien were talking about how the school was nearing its end and what you will be doing this summer, while you and Alya talked about how you will be making the biggest step in your teenage life.

Alya:
IF YOU WANT TO CONFESS, I WILL HELP YOU GIRL!

You breathed a chuckle. You can't get rid of her. She may be annoying at some times, but she had helped you and stuck by you from the start. Surely this time it won't be a failure.

YOU:
i want to tell him.
i really do.
but i can't.

you see what i mean?
i want to but i don't want to.

Alya:
y/n please.

y/n... if you ever confess to him, will the pain ease? 

YOU:
what should i do

i dont know what to do

i shouldve told him last april 1.
like after telling him that i like him i will then say that it's april's fools and all of it will be just a joke.

ughhhhh

You're freaking out. Well, you should freak out. It's your first time confessing to a boy about your feelings. Your feelings that you deemed unimportant. It's your first time telling him you like him, just the mere thought of it makes you nervous as heck.

Back to Adrien;

YOU:
are u ok now?

Adrien:
maybe ugh idk
she's still running in my mind

YOU:
that's ok
you're almost there!

you're doing great!

You winced at your attempt of comfort. You are really trying your best to make him feel better.

Adrien:
why do you say so?

YOU:
hahahaha
nothing
i'm just
trying to lift your spirits :)

Adrien:
thank you

Back to Alya;

YOU:
I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THIS

You carefully pressed send. Your anxious self unnecessarily created a scenario where you would accidentally send this message to Adrien instead of Alya. You shivered. You never want that to happen.

Alya:
y/n
i'm sighing right now

it's really hard. what do you want to do? you want to confess to him or not?

You sighed. All of these are making your head hurt real bad. You want to pass out right now and just skip this thing. What made you just suddenly want to tell him that you like him? What pushed you?

YOU:
i have to, alya. i need to do this.
school is ending
this is the perfect time to confess so he could just forget all about it this summer.

Alya:
well
if you need to do it
do it now.
im going to ask him if he's sleepy.

YOU:
ok.

You went back to Adrien.

Adrien:
hey do you know what NR means?

You had no idea.

YOU:
what's that?

Adrien:
idk either hahaha

YOU:
where did you hear that?

Adrien:
nino was asking me

YOU:
ah.
i can search for it?

Adrien:
if it's ok

And you did. You sent every meaning to him. Naval Reserve. Not Required. No Refunds. Almost everything.

He thanked you for it, the chat going back to being quiet. You sighed. Here goes...

YOU:
adrien are you sleepy?

Adrien:
no not yet.
why?

alya asked the same question

why??

YOU:
woah nice.

You swallowed so hard like you just downed a golf ball. You couldn't breath. You're just frozen in place as you carefully held your phone. This was like the time when you had to tell Alya that you have a crush on Adrien.

Now, you are talking to him. The day you've been dreading. You've been waiting for. Could be both, both sending shivers down your spine.

Your stomach began to be filled with butterflies. Your stomach was churning and your heart was almost beating out of your chest. You couldn't take it anymore.

Come on, you urged. Don't be such a wussy.

YOU:
adrien.

Adrien:
yea?

YOU:
adrien.

You groaned. You were being pathetic again. Just get to the point already!

YOU:
did you know

Adrien:
what

YOU:
don't be weirded out please

Adrien:
im okay with weird

YOU:
please do not reply yet

You sighed as you tried to relax. Just let it all out. One by one.

YOU:
i want to tell you this
i'm just gonna say this through chat

because i am big coward to do it in person.

i thought i could do this, but i really doubt that

i planned to wait this out til next year.

but screw it, i want to let this out.

With a deep breath and shaking hands, you frantically typed the message.

i have a crush on you.
please don't be mad.

Adrien:
nice!

thanks. i appreciate it.

You expected this. You wanted this to happen. You knew he's not feeling the same way. You knew he would'nt pick you. You knew he'd just see you as a friend.

But it still hurts. You can't stop the pain you're feeling as you read the last message he had sent.

Confessing made you feel better about yourself, but the weight on your shoulders was replaced by a more heavier force, it was like a size of a boulder that will soon crush you.

You weren't satisfied with his answer. 'thanks i appreciate it?' what kind of a response what's that? It was so short and you don't like it one bit.

YOU:
don't you feel awkward?

Adrien:
nope.

YOU:
don't you feel weirded out?
like just a little?
tell me the truth.

what are you feeling right now?

Adrien:
i'm alright!

Well I'm not.

YOU:
are you sure?
like reeaaaaaaallyyyy sure?

Adrien:
do you trust me?

YOU:
hahaha sorry

Adrien:
don't be

Why is he so nice?

YOU:
don't you have anything to tell me?
like what? omg
becuase i have a lot of things to say

Adrien:
ok just say it

i just wanna ask
why me?

YOU:
idk either

Adrien:
i mean
there are a lot of guys out there, more handsome than me
i know that i'm ugly

Your eyes narrowed as your nose scrunched. He got to be kidding. Why does he always think that?

YOU:
adrien
just shut the fuck up.

Adrien:
hahahaha sorry

YOU:
let me explain
so this crush

it was simply an admiration, when we were in 8th grade.
idk why but
you are so fun to be with

you're like my favorite companion

i always have fun whenever im around you

so yeah we talked every day

then 9th grade came and all that

until december i confirmed it myself
like woah what

we still talked like normal

yeah you know december. i was so stupid. when you told me you confessed to a girl, i was shocked but i supported you

but really, i was dying inside.

i told alya about it

i was hurt
but i was already giving you up.
you deserve to be happy.

so yeah for the past months i became your wingwoman

i supported you from the sidelines

remember valentines? when i knew you picked me, i was happy

so yeah

You took a deep breath. You weren't sure where that sudden bits of courage came from. You were embarassed that you went and told him your experiences all those months ago.

Adrien:
well thanks

i have nothing to say

but

thank you for telling me that you like me.

YOU:
haha well

good night.

Adrien:
good night.

You almost threw your phone at the nearest wall. You called yourself stupid, and other names. You were sure you made it awkward. You were sure that you broke your friendship. Will he even look at you properly tomorrow? Many scenarios ran in your mind. Full of what-ifs and bad outcomes.

"How could I've been so pathetic?!" You asked in your mind. Your hands flew to the roots of your hair and pulled it as rough as you can.

You closed your eyes as you hugged your side pillow tightly, sleep quickly enveloping you.

■□■□

The next day, you pretty much prayed to God that things won't be too awkward between you and Adrien. You stepped inside the courtyard and saw him and Nino talking about something, probably school.

You then heard Nino said, "Dude, you know that Lila has a crush on you, right?"

He sighed. "I know, Alya told me. I think  she's just trying to be friends with me."

"Adrien, she literally stares at you like a hawk, man. She can be a stalker sometimes." Nino shook his head.

You shake your head. Lila. You almost forgot that hoe.

Adrien and Nino had the same route as you, except Nino has a different class to take. Before Adrien could see you, you sneaked behind his back and quickly sat. You pretended to duck down the table to fix your things, as the bag was placed under your desk.

"Hey, Y/N."

You jumped, your head bumping the table. "Ow." You rubbed the spot where it had hit. You quickly recovered and took a look at his jade eyes. You struggled to say the words, but you managed. "H-hey, Adrien."

He smiled an unforgettable smile. A smile that was contagious, making you smile too. Your noticed that your hand was still on your hair so you put it down.

Adrien soon sat down, thankfully. You could make the situation more awkward than it is. Students walked inside the room and sat on their respective chairs. Ms. Bustier followed. "Good morning, students."

You greeted back. The lesson flowed through nicely. School was ending, after all.

Ms. Bustier was just explaining the principles of this and that when all of a sudden a quiet but resounding knock was heard. Bustier stopped writing and headed for the door. She opened it and saw a blond-haired student wearing a green sweatshirt with a pink heart-shaped box on her hands.

"Yes?" Ms. Bustier asked.

"Um," the girl stuttered. You've seen her before, she was a girl from Nino's class. "I'm here to give this box to Adrien Agreste?"

The said boy's head perked up at the mention of his name. He tentatively stood up and walked where Ms. Bustier and the girl had stood. The blonde girl gave the box to the other blond with a flustered smile. Adrien happily accepted the pink-wrapped gift.

"Is this from you?" Adrien asked while he inspected the box.

The girl immediately waved her hand dismissively. "No, no! It was from Lila Rossi, my clasmate. She wanted me to give this to you."

The class cheered and shouted. All consists of teasing Lila's crush for Adrien. You nearly let out a gasp yourself. You didn't want to let Alya know that you are affected by it. You just kept a neutral face.

"Oh," Adrien said, clearly taken aback. "I-Is that so? Tell her I said thank you."

The girl nodded and swiftly exited the classroom. Bustier sighed as she closed the door. She still continued the class even when it is now coming to an end.

You inwardly scoffed. How dare Lila wasted your time with her expensive gifts? You tried to not let it get to you as you continued writing the notes on the board, hoping to help and clear your mind.

□■□■

"I hate her so much."

You paced around the living room as Alya was preparing a pitcher of orange juice.

"Me too. I still can't forget the time when she sent her bikini pictures. Ugh, she's such an attention-seeker."

"I know!" You exclaimed. "She shouldn't meddle with other people's relationship, oh my gosh!" You can't calm down. This girl, who's only been here for a few months have been getting on your nerves. "Why did she suddenly has a crush on him?! She has no right!

"She doesn't really like Adrien. She just wants to flirt with him and eventually she would hurt him! She and Adrien don't have anything in common!"

"Unlike you guys?" Alya cut in with a smug look on her face. You rolled your eyes, your head not cooling. You still have a lot to say.

"Shut up, Alya," you jokingly said, but you weren't smiling. "Anyway, she's a freaking plastic! She should thank me for wanting Adrien to be happy!

"But if he really is happy..." you trailed off with a sigh as you sat down. You placed your face on your hands, sighing again. Alya watched you while she grabbed her glass of orange juice. "I mean-" you started.

"Let's admit-- between her and me, I don't stand a chance. She's prettier than me, smarter than me. Crap, maybe she told him her feelings. She beat me to it.

"I will gladly give him to her. I'll let him go. If he's happy, then I have no right to be against.

"How can I even win, when I myself stepped into the friendzone with Adrien. Our friendship is beautiful. We even have our own nicknames, but... we're just friends. I don't want to destroy our friendship. I don't want want us to be awkward.

"Adrien and I talking is just okay. At least we're comfortable with each other."

You sighed for the last time. "There's no competition. She already won. Go ahead and be together. I'll just... be here, I guess."

Your eyes were closed the whole time. The atmosphere was quiet, you thought Alya fell asleep through your long, dramatic rant. But when you opened your eyes, you saw her clapping slowly with a serious face.

"Damn," she said. "That was an emotional rollercoaster." Alya stood up and leisurely walked across you. "Damn, I wished I recorded that! That could be like- some late night thoughts or shit you'll be hearing at a radio."

"Alya!" Your face turning hot from embarassment. You can't believe you just pour out your heart in front of your best friend.

She sat down next to you, instantly placing a hand around your shoulders as she hugged you sideways. "Y/N..." You accepted the hug. "I'm really proud of you for doing that, telling him that you like him. You are so brave."

You hummed quietly.

Alya turned you towards her and she grabbed both sides of your face. "I know you can go through this honey. Just ignore her and focus on yourself. Try to be selfish for once and take care of yourself. You did what you need to do. Now, it's time to relax."

You looked at her directly in the eyes. It was concentrated, like the orange juice she just prepared that was sitting on the table.

You nodded, making her release you. "Thanks, Alya."

"You're welcome." She stood up and walked to the table where the mugs and pitcher had stood. She picked up one of the empty mugs and filled it with juice. She handed it to you, and you gratefully held it after you said your thanks. "Mind telling me how was last night?"

You rolled your eyes. Here we go again.

You did tell her everything.

end of chapter thirty

■□■□
i didn't know how to end this chapter, bit i just did

my hands hurt from typing too much, i dont even care if i write a typo in this authors note, i just need to sleep. this chapter was not written in one sitting. this was written in 3 days. one time, i wrote this while i was taking a shit.

here it's 12:20 am and i have to sleep. my parents will kill me if they found out im staying up again. but idc i welcome death

anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! i have to admit, i did not enjoyed writing this--- maybe a bit but still... i did not like the memory. it hurts, but not that much anymore.

the lila rant and the confession was ALL TRU!!! i legitimately wrote those to my crush and THAT WAS MY HATE FOR THE ONE WHO JUST SUDDENLY HAS A CRUSH ON MY ADRIEN.

yeah i hoped you liked it! see you in the next couple of weeks lmfao.

s a y o n a r a

KimmiePines

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