My dark brown hair was sticking out in several places, my perfect messy bun from the night before, was now a not-so-perfect messy bun, maybe a perfect rats nest, that's how I'd put it.

I took in my appearance in my full body mirror that was attached to the back of my wooden bedroom door.

I looked like the color barf green, that's how my mind put it. I was dressed in pink and white zebra striped pants, that's were noticeably way too short, exposing my little ankles, and a white T-shirt with a pink cupcake with multi-colored sprinkles on it. How fancy.

I had deep purple bags underneath my eyes, which made me look at least seventy years older than what I really was. I thought about fixing myself up to look better, but shrugged the thought away. Staying in lazy clothes seemed much more appropriate for the day.

I blew a stray piece of hair out of my face, shivering as my cold breath hit my warm cheek. I glanced at my freckles, they were dotting my nose and cheeks like spots on a newborn deer. A few were scattered around the rest of my face, accenting my different colored eyes.

I sighed heavily and walked over to my window, and slid my curtains to the side quickly, which inevitably, was a mistake. Immediately, I hissed as the blistering light of the sun stung my eyes, a flash of white blasted behind my eye lids as I closed them. I shut the curtains as fast as I could and welcomed the darkness back with wide open arms.

Sighing again, this time with irritation lacing through it, I dragged my feet across the floor, feeling as if a thousand bricks were weighing me down, all I wanted was to sleep again, even though I had slept in until noon.

Yawning, I opened my bedroom door, mentally curing myself for letting the light blast me again. After rubbing my eyes for a few moments, I trudged down the stairs, the sweet aroma of pancakes filling my nose, my mouth instantly watering.

" Dear Lord Alicia! " My mother turned and saw me her eyes widening, " You look like you've been six feet under for days! "

I glared at her and sat at the table, resting my cheek in my hand and breathing a heavy sigh, " I'm tired. " I paused and yawned again, and then I perked my head up, " Pancakes? "

My mother rolled her eyes and went back to cooking, flipping the pancake in the pan over with ease, " Of course you're hungry! " She lowered her voice and started muttering, " Sixteen year old girls I tell you, always eating me out of house and home! "

Choosing to ignore the last part, I stood and dragged myself over to the counter, reaching up and opening the cubbards. I stood on my tip-toes and grabbed a plate, careful not to drop it.

I set the plate on the counter top, and shut the cunard door, suddenly feeling extremely nauseous.

" I need to use the bathroom. " I muttered, quickly walking to the bathroom down the hall.

I opened the door and closed it behind me, turning around quickly and immediately retching. I put my hand on the sink counter to hold myself up.

I closed my eyes when I was finished, and leaned by head against the door, confusion littering my mind. After puking my guts out - not literally - I felt much better, still nauseated, but better.

A deep black color filled my mind and I opened my eyes quickly, my heart beating faster than it probably has ever before, the night of the party flooded back into my mind, snippets of the memories sucked the breath from me and scarred me to the very core.

Darian and I had done the dirty. Best friends since childhood, and that night, I had ruined everything that we had had. He had tried to text me many times, telling me it was okay and it doesn't matter, and to forget about it.

But that was just it, I  couldn't forget about it, no matter how hard I tried to push it to the bottom of my mind. The sweet taste of his tongue in my mouth invaded me like a virus, the feeling of his lips on my body left behind nipping tingles that made my body shiver. That night was definitely not okay.

I stood up wearily, forcing him out of my mind, a new problem was suddenly unfolding, one that I hadn't thought about before. I had missed the most important week out of the month, and it had slipped my mind, just now returning to haunt me.

I opened the door to the bathroom and rushed past the kitchen towards the stairs. " Thank you for making pancakes mom! " I was skipping two stairs at a time now, " But I have to be somewhere! I'll be home in a while! "

I reached my room and opened my door, hearing my mothers call from down stairs.

" Alicia? " Her shrill voice echoed down the hallway.

" Yes? " I yelled back. I was nearly hyperventilating at this point, so I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, in and out.

" Be careful. " She yelled again, her voice full of concern, as it always was when I was going out.

Opening my closet door, I gazed at the assorted colors of clothing, but I was dead set on wearing a dress out, needing a confidence booster. Each dress was calling to me, begging me to wear them.

I decided on a fit and flare maroon dress. The fabric was smooth against my skin, and it fit me perfectly, not too tight, but not too loose. I adjusted the off shoulder straps so they fit like they're supposed to. I squatted down and grabbed my brown heels, and slipped them on my feet, zipping up the sides slowly, making sure I didn't pinch my skin.

I got up off my bed and grabbed ten dollars out of my bright blue piggy bank - yes, I had a piggy bank - and ran to the bathroom, grabbing my brush and brushing out my ratty hair, wincing as I hit some unforgiving and gruesome snarls.

I quick glanced at myself in the mirror before leaving, taking in my appearance. My already long and slender legs looked even longer in the dress. The back of the dress was slightly longer than the front. My long brown hair ended at my mid-back, and my eyes popped out at me, blinking at me, like they knew something I didn't.

I walked down the stairs again, this time taking my time. I was vaguely aware of the way the wooden banister was gliding along my hand as I made my way down, the coolness evaporating the sweat that was starting to build up.

" I'll be back soon, mom. " I said as I walked out of the house, shutting the door behind me, making sure I heard the click of the door before I walked out to my car.

She was no doubt, the oldest most rustic run down car I had ever seen. She was black, and the left headlight was busted, the glass shattered after a run down with a deer. The car won that battle, but she suffered many scars.

I patted her hood and grinned like an idiot, I called her Betty.

I fumbled with the keys and opened the door, sliding in not-so-elegantly. I shut the door, cringing as it made a loud squeaky sound, like metal on metal.

I inserted the keys into the car, and sat in the drivers seat, my mind a whirl of emotion. I backed out of the driveway, and tried to push the thoughts out of my head before I became nauseous with anxiety.

Despite my desperate tries to push my feelings away, I couldn't. I was starting to feel sick again, but not the nauseous kind of sick, the kind of sick where it's like you know something isn't right, like your whole life is about to take a turn in a different direction, except I'm not sure if it was for the best, or for the worst.

———

I grabbed the handle to the gas station door, swinging it open with no hesitation. The tiny bell at the top dinged, announcing my arrival.

" Hello! And welcome to The Stop! " The man at the counter spoke without looking up from the piece of paper he was writing on.

" Markus, It's Alicia, please don't greet me like a professional. " I joked, my mood instantly lifting at the sight of again, another childhood friend.

The blonde haired boy lifted his head and his bright blue eyes sparkled and he cracked an easy grin, " Alicia! Long time no see eh? "

I shook my head and walked over to the counter, " We literally see each other all the time! "

Markus grinned again and set his pen down, meeting my eyes, " What brings you in today? "

My smile instantly faded, and he must've noticed because his eyes showed concern, " I'm - " I stopped short and was picking at my fingernails.

" Your? " He pressed.

One thing about Markus, he never knows when to let things be, so I have no choice but to tell him my growing concern.

" I think I'm pregnant. " I stated surprisingly confident.

The look on Markus' face almost made me bust out in laughter, but I held it in.

His jaw practically dropped to the floor, and his eyes were as round as saucers. His arms lay limply at his side, and there was no denying the shock that radiated off him.

His mouth moved but no sound came out. Finally, he shook his head, " Who, what, where, and when? "

I glanced around quickly, making sure no one was in the store, once I double-checked and made sure no one was, I leaned against the glass case containing the assorted beautiful colored cigarette lighters, and spoke, " Darian Ashwell - "

" Darian Ashwell? " He threw his hand over his mouth and squealed, " As in THE Darian Ashwell? "

I clicked my tongue on the roof of my mouth, " My best friend since childhood? Yep, that's the one. Now will you please stop interrupting? I'm telling you the story! "

He put his hands up in surrender and raised his voice in a high pitched voice, " I'm sorry! " He lowered his voice again, " It's just that, he's totally hot! "

I rolled my eyes at his gayness, and continued on, " The party two weeks ago, I was drunk beyond belief -"

" No surprise there. " Markus murmured.

I glared at him, but continued, " Anyways, I was minding my own business, and trying to get to the kitchen, before Darian grabbed my shoulder and asked if I wanted to go talk upstairs, where it was quieter. "

I was gazing at my feet now, " And - and we were talking about really deep stuff, and he leaned over and kissed me, I didn't think much about it, so I kissed him back. And the weird part, is that It felt normal, it didn't feel wrong. We got more into it and before I knew it, we were laying naked right next to each other, and I had lost my virginity, to my best friend. "

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, " I got up and got dressed and immediately left, although he called my name. I drove home, weirdly sobered up, and he's been trying to get ahold of me ever since, but I can't talk to him, not after that. "

Markus was silent for so long, I thought he might have left, so I glanced up, and looked at him.

His eyes were filled with sorrow and his mouth was turned down into a frown, and then suddenly his eyebrows knitted together and his started grinding his teeth, " If that asshat got you pregnant I'm going to kill him! How dare he kiss you when he knew you were drunk out of your gord, much less take advantage of you! "

I widened my eyes, he was red, that's the color I would choose to describe him as, red. He looked like a steaming red hot pepper, his face was beet red, his hands were clenched at his sides, his knuckles were whiter than snow.

" No. " I stated, " He was drunker than I was. "

Markus shook his head, " It doesn't matter, he shouldn't have done it. " He ran his hand through his hair slowly, letting out a deep breath. He closed his eyes and opened them a moment later, all the humor and anger were gone, replaced with a sad and sorrowful look, " You better hope those tests come back negative, Alicia, Junior year starts in a few weeks. The pregnancy tests are down the second isle, take the most expensive ones, and take two, you don't have to pay. "

I nodded meekly, and turned on my heels, walking towards the second isle. I made my way to the pregnancy tests, and picked up two of the most expensive ones, ten dollars?! Who in the world would buy one of these for ten dollars?

Apparently, me.

I walked to the bathroom, my heart beating a million miles an hour. I glanced at myself in the mirror, taking myself in, and turned and opened the bathroom stall, and walked in.

I opened the boxes and read the directions, before peeing on both sticks, unable to wait to do them separately.

I opened the stall door and made my way to the sink. It felt as if the world was in slow motion, everything I did felt turtle slow. I set the sticks on the sink and washed my hands, the cold water chilling me to the very bone, making goosebumps on my skin, however I wasnt sure if it was from my situation or the freakishly cold water.

I grabbed some paper towel, and started to dry my hands, walking over the the garbage, I peeked at the tests, wishing I wouldnt have.

I stared at the tests, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. I was extremely aware of my heart beating, I could feel the vain in my neck pulsing with each heartbeat. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, begging to be released from the cage its trapped in. I found it hard to breath, like there was an elephant on my chest, pressing down as hard as it could.

I walked up to the tests slowly, the paper towel was sprawled out on the floor, too heavy for my hands to hold. The little sticks of dream crushers, and dream makers, stared at me with evil grins, like they were about to ruin my life.

I picked them up. They both had big plus signs.