Positive. The tests were positive. I was pregnant.

I knitted my eyebrows together and grabbed the tests, chucking them into the trash with force. I kicked the sorry paper towel to the side and crossed my arms over my stomach, hugging myself tightly. I could feel the tears building up, and before I knew it, my vision was blurring, and my eyes exploded, like a dam that has been on the edge of breaking, and it finally released itself.

I looked at my feet, and held myself tighter, the tears running down my cheeks were black, burning my cheeks like fire. I noticed I was shivering, the air conditioning had just kicked on, and it was nipping at my skin. I let my hands free from the imprisoning hold on my body, and I fiercely wiped the tears off my cheeks, wiping the salty water on my dress.

I looked at myself in the mirror, black streaks ran down my face, my eyes were bloodshot and my skin was paler than it should have been. I looked like a zombie, a zombie who just had their hopes and dreams crushed in front of their eyes like a fly getting squashed by a fly swatter.

I didn't bother washing off my mascara as I walked out of the bathroom, I didn't really care who saw me at this point, it was at the very bottom of my worries. I took a beeline to the back of the store and stopped at the large cooler filled with many assorted drinks.

What I needed right now was something to at least make this day a little less horrible. I glanced around, and opened the door to the drinks, and reached for a monster energy drink, but paused instantly, my motherly instincts kicking in, that wouldn't be good for the baby.

I huffed and cursed myself for thinking that. I closed the door and opened the one right next to it, grabbing a Sprite, my next favorite. I smiled slightly, there was nothing a little Sprite couldn't fix. I grimaced slightly after that thought, except for this.

I made my way to the front counter, and glanced up at Markus, his smile fading instantly when he saw my face, ̈ Alicia? "

I set the drink on the counter and he grabbed it, ringing it up on the cash register. The small noise that it made seemed much louder than what it was, and I winced as it blasted in my eyes and ricoched in my brain.

" $2.50. " He spoke. He sounded far away now, like he was on another planet, millions and millions of miles away.

I slid the money across the counter, exactly $2.50, and grabbed the Sprite, " Alicia, what is going on. "

I glanced at Markus's worried expression and tried to smile, which i'm pretty sure came out a grimace instead, " Thank you for paying for the tests, Markus. " I muttered, feeling more tears spring their way up, threatening to overflow like a volcano.

Before he could question me further, I turned around and walked out of the door, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. 

The fresh air blasted me in the face, cooling the wet tears on my face even though the air was warm, just right for a summer afternoon. I didn't feel like driving, I did not feel ready for driving, not now, so I sent Markus a text, asking him to drop off my car at my house after his shift.

It was nice having Markus as a neighbor, we lived two houses apart, which benefitted us both. Especially for the nights when I would have smoked too much weed to send me higher than the clouds, or when I would see him drunker than drunk, we could just drive one another home.

I smiled at the memories from this summer, but after the party two weeks ago, I told myself I would never smoke or drink again, the consequences were not worth it. I knew that Markus would say yes, he always did, which is one of the reasons why I loved him, we are like siblings that never fight.

I walked down the sidewalk, looking at the ground, the white cement below my feet was littered with cracks from age, I feel like if the cement could talk, what kinds of interesting stories it would tell, what it has heard and seen, the people it sees. It has probably seen many different people, maybe even a murderer, or the sad look on a hopeless and terrified person, whos terrified of the world and what it would bring next. Or the smile of a person who just heard the best news in the universe. Maybe even the shrill happy laughter from a young child who was being tickled by their parents, or the bright curious eyes of another child, one that had a deep and scarring story hidden in their depths.

By the time I looked up from my thoughts, I was in front of my house, the bright yellow paint seemed to sting my eyes, and the burning white door stood out like a sore thumb. The white wrap around porch seemed rather dull, like the white shutters on the finger-print-free windows. 

I tilted my head and looked down at my belly, a weird and unknown feeling coursed through my veins, making my heart skip a beat. I rested my hand over my stomach, my baby was in there, a little tiny baby, probably no bigger than a fingernail, even though, a living human was taking refuge in my stomach, hiding itself from the cruel and judging world until it was strong enough to reveal itself, to show the world it's worth.

I closed my eyes again, the unknown feeling was being replaced with nervousness, I still had to tell my mother, but I didn't know how, or even when. Eventually she would notice the little bump protruding from even the baggiest of my clothes, and I didn't want to wait that long.

And Darian. I would have to tell him, I would have to tell him he was going to be a father, my baby, at seventeen years old. The thought shook me, sending shock waves through my body. I felt like crying again, but swallowed down my emotions and walked up the porch, opened the door, and slipped inside quietly.

I shut the door behind me softly, and walked up the stairs, seeing my mother sitting at the kitchen table, her gaze distant. Once I came into view however, she snapped out of her trance and smiled brightly, her smile was lighting up the room, crushing the dark shadow that had been following me around all day like a pulp.

"Alicia hunny! How - " she paused and her face contorted with confusion and then bounced to worry, "Have you been crying? "

I mentally slapped myself for forgetting to wash off the mascara and thought of a quick excuse, " Erm.. I splashed water on my face at the gas station and forgot I was wearing it? " It came out a question.

My mother rolled her eyes, obviously not buying it, but she dropped the matter, respecting boundaries unlike Markus, " So, how is Markus? " She said instead.

I smiled, happy to be taking the attention off of me, " He is doing well, still the same old Markus. I left him my car so he wouldn't have to walk home later. " so much lying, " He said he will drop it off after work. "

My mother nodded, and stood up from the chair, her long blonde hair flowing down her back like she was a princess, her bright green gaze was grinning, but her mouth was tied down into a frown, " You missed my pancakes! "

I laughed, a real laugh, " Why were you even making pancakes at twelve in the afternoon? "

She snorted and turned to look out in our fenced in backyard, probably checking on Oscar, our beagle. He liked to dig holes and it drove my mother absolutely insane, "I knew you would sleep in to ungodly hours of the day, so when I heard you stirring around upstairs, I started them. "

I shook my head and glanced at the clock, realizing it was almost 3 o'clock, " I am going to shower, and then take Oscar out for a walk, It will be a long one this time, I promise. "

I laughed when I heard my mother scream, " You had better! "

The night before, I hadn't bothered taking Oscar out for a walk, which on my part was a mistake. When Oscar didn't have at least half of his daily energy burned off, he was a nightmare. He ruined my mother's shoes, and then proceeded to rip apart socks that he found laying around my room. He found an old piece of pizza underneath my bed and ate that, but ended up throwing it up hours later on my mothers bed.

Although he was a pain in the ass, we loved him, he was a gift from my father a year ago when he went away to work overseas. He was paid well, and he missed us terribly when he was away. This time, he would be gone for two years, and I could tell my mother was missing him, much more than I was. They were highschool sweethearts, and when they were apart, it was like someone had destroyed the moon and the stars altogether.

I walked up the stairs and laid on my bed, actually regretting telling my mom I was going to take a shower. I whipped out my phone out of my bra and texted Peyton, sending her the news. Once I was done, I flipped my phone screen down on my bed, not bothering to check her response anytime soon.

I changed into a hoodie and shorts, and stuffed my phone in the front pocket, casting a long look at my bed, suddenly wanting to sleep my troubles away. I shut my light off and pranced down the stairs, grabbing the leash off of the banister and walking to the back door, "I am going to take Oscar for a walk before I shower. "

My mother glanced up for a second before looking back at the paper in front of her, " Okay, call me if anyone tries to take you. Remember to kick them where the sun don't shine. "

I hooked up the leash to Oscars collar and I pet his soft head as he licked my hands, probably tasting the soap from the gas station bathroom. Another thing about Oscar, he has a weird obsession with eating soap, which of course, I try not to let him do.

" Will do. " I responded to my mother as I walked towards the front door with a very excited and very energetic Oscar.

"I love you! " I called before shutting the door behind me.

I breathed in the warm air and let it out slowly, this was it, my life was officially changed forever.