He didn't know they existed, but still she managed to play with his emotions all the time. It was new, frightening, but in some way, liberating. It was as if she set open the door of his cage, and he was scared to go out and explore.  

I can't say I remembered how I got back into the castle of Sensus. I recalled how Aericon had found me, picked me up and hugged me close to his warm, hot chest. I still vaguely knew how everything felt so extremely comfortable while I was in his strong arms. But I did not remember when we got back, or how I ended up in a hospital bed. Hell, I wasn't even aware that the castle had a hospital wing.
In my opinion, this hospital wing desperately needed an upgrade, because the longer I lay there with my eyes closed, unaware of my surroundings, the more I came to realise that this bed was awful. It was hard, felt like plastic and the sheets were sticky and way too thin. The beeping sound of the heart monitor that was attached to my chest was extremely annoying, as was the sound of the oxygen machine that helped me breathe through small wires that went into my nose.
Grumbling slightly I tried to open my eyes – and then I immediately closed, as the light was way too bright – after which I squinted slightly, grumbled some more before I was finally able to look around.
I was met with an empty room. Somehow, that truly disappointed me, I had hoped that at least Aericon would be here, if only to check if his pack member was alright. He had made it abundantly clear he didn't want me as his mate, so I didn't expect him to be here for that. There just was this unrealistic part of me, I guess that was the Amor part of me that I tried so hard to lock up, that was hurt by his actions.
However, my loneliness didn't take long, as soon the doctor came walking in to check my vitals. It was the same woman that diagnosed my Mate loss syndrome, however this time she seemed a little more content with my symptoms. As soon as she noticed I was wide awake, she gushed at me. "Oh dearie, you are awake! Wonderful! On a scale of one to ten, how bad is your pain at the moment?"
When I tried to talk, no sound came out, only some painful wheezing.
"Don't worry darling, your throat is just very dry from the cold you have I presume. I will get you some water in a minute. Can you show your fingers then?" She reassured me quickly.
I nodded and held up five fingers. My ankle was quite sore, my throat was hurting and I was still very cold.
As the doctor handed me a cup with water and a straw, she explained my injuries. "You have been very lucky yesterday honey. You could have died out there, the Alpha found you just in time before you would have suffered serious injuries due to bad hypothermia. He will be here after I patch you up, so I'm going to need you to get up and show me what you can and can't do with that ankle of yours, is that okay with you?"
Now I was less parched, my pain scale had gone back to a four, so I was alright with it. And besides that, I wanted to see Aericon to show him I was trying to change my flaws. Better sooner than later, right?
So I let the doctor prod at my foot, turn it around, twist it and finally tape it tightly for pressure and stability. I was told to go easy on it for a week and not walk on it too much. Then she mind-linked the Alpha and told me he was coming, after which she went on her way, mumbling about other patients she still had to look at.
I waited in complete silence for my mate, sipping from my water every once in a while. It felt cool on my throat, which was still dry and rough. I didn't look forward to having to talk with Aericon, because I sure as hell would sound like a dying whale with asthma. However, I found out as soon as Aericon walked into the room, steaming with anger, that I did have some explaining to do. 'Rest in pieces, vocal chords,' I thought melancholic.
"What the hell were you thinking Micara! Oh my dear mate doesn't love me, let's kill myself in a blizzard, maybe that way he will think about me once. Well get it through your thick skull, this way you'll never ever get my attention in the right way! Are you stupid or something?" He almost screamed at me. In some way I was terrified, in another way, it was almost funny. If he yelled like this, he sounded like my mother when she was angry. His anger was like hers, I guess.
However most of me got hurt by his accusations, because for once my intentions were that of a normal person, not an Amor. I sighed, but decided not to let him just walk over me.
"Actually, I didn't want to kill myself. I wanted to come and find you because I wanted to tell you your words made sense. The Amor way of thinking is weird and wrong indeed. My love didn't mean anything. At all. But I was ready to let it mean something, to find out what real love is, and I wanted to find that out with you." I let out a breath, feeling anger boiling in my veins at his behaviour towards me.
"So you go find me in a freaking snowstorm?"
"I was trying to find you a couple of hours before the snowstorm, but I twisted my ankle and could no longer shift from the pain. It is not my fault you were nowhere to find!"
"You should have waited for me to come back!"
"Because then you would come to me and listen to what I had to say?"
"I would have!" He sounded annoyed with me, again.
"No, you wouldn't. Because you are such a perfect man that deserves so much better than a girl like me." I spat out with an undertone of jealousy. Would he think of dating someone else but me? "I am not the only one with a distorted image of love, Aericon. You may even be worse than me."
He grunted and looked at me with a dark look in his eyes. I felt his dangerous aura wrapped around me. "That is not true." His voice was calm, emotionless.
"It is-"
"It is not."
"Yes, it-"
"I. Am. Not. Wo-"
"For Gods sake let me speak!" I interrupted him, yelling loudly. My heart was beating a mile per minute, but I knew I had to tell him this. "You are cold, emotionless. Don't think I wanted to change you because I wanted a lovey-dovey mate like myself. I wanted a real chance for love, with someone who can actually feel. I want my heart to beat out of my chest because it can't contain the feelings I have for another person. I want my hands to be clammy because I'm nervous for a date, I want to fall in love for the first time in my life. Don't you want that experience? Not even a little?"