Thank you so much frostyella for the awesome cover!!!! I apprentice.

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What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print. Isadora Duncan

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The chronic smell of medications wafted across his nose, making him cover it instantly. He had never been a fan of hospitals, not since he watched his mother die in one. He was also certain that whatever he was about to see would have an everlasting imprint in his mind. If Derin was the woman he would love forever, then seeing her would be toture.

He slowed his steps as he got closer. Looking straight ahead, he saw the room with the number five. Letting out rapid breaths, he walked over there.

His hand touched the door knob tentatively.

You can do this.

He made to turn the knob, he froze again.

My Derin.

Shaking his head, he turned the knob quickly and braced himself for what he was about to see.

The room didn't have that chronic smell every other place had. It was adorned with flowers. And the painting was a light blue that the white bulb reflected on. This looked like a very special room.

Vip treatment for the governor's daughter.

His eyes finally landed on the bed. The sight he saw made his heart ache. His Derin was curled up at the edge of the bed. Her hands were wrapped around her leg. Her eyes stared at the wall infront of her, distinctly. She rocked herself slowly. Her forehead was swollen, barely noticeable but it was. Her hair was a mess. Its wool-like texture was scattered all around her face. He always liked her on her natural afro. Its fullness always brought out her beauty. The last time he saw her, she was on black long braids that swung just above her bum.

The blue hospital gown she wore was big and rumpled.

In very slow strides, he walked up to her. Her eyes never left the wall. Nonso stretched out his hand to touch her. She flinched, her eyes snapped to his.

Shaking her head vigorously, she moved further into the wall.

Her eyes were still on his, and before him her eyes flashed different signals.

Fear, mistrust.

But above all, fear. Here was his Almighty Derinsola, who was not afraid to speak her mind. Who was not afraid to keep a grudge. Who was not afraid to lash out. Who was not afraid not to cry. His dauntless Derin now cowered in fear. He clenched his fists in anger, the rage building inside of him at the sight of her propelled him to growl lowly.

Who did this to you?

His palms balled tighter into its fist.

"Derin. Who did this to you?"

She shook her head violently. "I don't know."

A response, that was a good start.

"What do you remember?" He edged closer to her, she moved farther away.

Her hands suddenly darted out. Her palms were raised before him.

"Nonso please, don't come any closer,"

He almost broke into a grin. She remembered his name. That was a good start. Most rape victims were often drugged and those drugs held effects such as permanent or temporary amnesia.

"Ok. I won't touch you, but tell me what happened?" He inquired softly.

"I can't remember. The last.... Thing I remember was talking to Lola on friday night.... I... I can't remember anything else. No one wants to tell me whats going on," Her hands darted to her neck instantly and she scratched it forcefully. "All I feel is the throbbing between my legs, the pain on my forehead and a sharp shock on my left shoulder anytime I try to move. Tell me, what happened?"

He closed his eyes tightly. The pain he felt in his chest was more painful than the time when she spilled hot coffee on him.

Who did this.

"Derin. I don't... I don't know either," He lied through his teeth. God forbid him to be the one to tell her of the ill fate that befell her. God forbid he'd be the one to watch her break. Seeing her all strong was the best thing that happened in his life.

She scratched her forearm and her back at once, grazing the tip of her fingernails above it forcefully. He rigded his brows.

"Is your body itching you?" Nonso creased his brows.

"Yes,"

The silence that followed held a certain tension. He remembered the last two times they had met. The first time was at the wedding where she had slapped him and the second was at the Gym, where she had added salt to injury by referring to him as a vomit.

Derin. What do I do with you.

"Did you dye your hair?"

He looked up. His hands subconsciously touched his hair. He had dyed it two days ago, when he went to the get a cut at the saloon.

"Since the hair was indecisive on being brown or yellow, I decided to take matters into my hands. I dyed it."

She tilted her head to the side. "Its fine. You look darker on it. Now people would just think you are a random fair guy, not an almost albino — I mean melanin lacker," she smiled. It was obvious her slip up was deliberate.

He chuckled. "My sister just pointed out to me of recent that a melanin lacker is an Albino. I have finally come to the conclusion that since my skin is not part of the albinism my eyes and hair have taken to, then I do have a little melanin."

Derin threw her head back and giggled softly. Her hands scratched her elbow briefly.

"Professor Nonso Orji. You are not albino. We know, no need to stress the matter. But you should get comfortable in your skin. you're fine the way you are. Albino or not. your hair is fine too. It suits you well and the beards  you have decided to keep Looks good too."

He touched his beards which was connected to his hair from his temple to his jaw and round his pink lips. He moved his hands subconsciously to his full hair that had been leveled at the top. He didn't like it too full and he didn't like low cut either, he just liked to put a little comb through it.

Derin kept her eyes on the hair. She liked it. He knew by the smile that played on her lips as she looked at it.

Gasping, he lifted his right and waved dramatically in a lady like manner. While his left hand held unto his waist lightly. "Oh. My. Gosh. I'm so hot. You can't get your eyes off me. Oh mi Gosh!"

Derin's brow creased. She scratched her hair. His attempt make her smile would not go in vain. He tried again.

"Isn't that how you ladies do," he went about it again. "Oh my Gosh!"

Derin threw her head back and laughed hard this time. Her almond shaped eyes were shut tightly and her lips spread apart as she laughed. Her lips mesmerized him. The lower lip had always been slightly bigger than the upper. It always looked pouted anytime she wore a lipstick. Red to be precise. But without the lipstick, it sometimes pouted but not always. However, lipstick or not, she always looked lovely.

"Did you dye the beards too?"

Nonso shook his head. "That's the problem, the beard is a natural dark brown,"

"Oh. Ok."

Not knowing what to do, he glanced around the room. Beside the bed, was  broken glass cup. Nonso hadn't noticed it before.

"Did you break the glass cup?" He stood up, searching for a broom in the room.

He found one at the corner of the room, next to the door.

"Don't know. Don't remember,"

Her reply was quick, straight and sharp. It was apparent, what ever drug was given to her triggered her memory snaps. She recalled certain things and forgot some. Nodding once, he picked the broom and the pink parker beside it then walked over to the broken glass. He swept it into the Parker and disposed it in the bin nearby. No sooner had he dropped the broom than the door opened.

Derin's mother walked in. Her buba hung low around her large hips as she pushed her way into the room. Behind her were Ify and Lola: the best friends. Their loud whispers echoed slightly in the room, attracting both his and Derin's attention.

"I can't help but wonder if she is on special treatment,"  Ify whispered, clutching on to a blue basket that had soft drinks in it.

Lola rolled her eyes. "Wonder Woman."

Their eyes landed on Nonso at once. He smiled at them. They smiled im return.Derin's mother eyed him slowly. Her gaze raked through him suspiciously.

"I saw you downstairs." It wasn't a question. It was a sentence. Before Nonso could reply, she beat him to it."who are you?"

"Mo-"

"Aderinsola Gbenù é dake! Shut up." Her mother bellowed. The anger clouded her eyes.

Silence followed her statement. Nonso cleared his throat. "I'm Barrister Chinonso Orji, I'm an old friend of your daughter as well as Lola and Ify."

His reply was smooth and quick. Putting his hands in his pocket, he attempted to look relaxed. However the glare Derin's mother sent his way generated chills down his spine.

"And so what? Did you take permission from me before you came in here. Who even let you in? How dare you sneak in. Couldn't you have done it in the right way?-"

"Mummy!" Derin finally shouted. She winced and gripped her stomach.

Her mother turned to her sharply. She eyed Derin furiously, her eyes sending signals that voiced — shut up. She turned to Nonso. "Before I close and open my eyes, you better disappear from this room. What Nonsense!"

Lola and Ify signalled him to go outside, blinking their eyes and nodding towards the door rapidly. He got the memo. He was not welcomed.

Nodding once, Nonso walked out of the hospital room. But not before he winked at Derin, making her smile despite her anger. Her mother hadn't seen him.

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"Mummy what was that?!" Derin snapped once Nonso closed the door behind him.

She made to get up from the bed but the sharp pain on her shoulder stilled her. Wincing, she closed her eyes and relaxed her head on the wall.

Nonso's presence had made her forget the pains she had. Seeing him at first, made her angry. She had told him time without number to stay away but he'd gone ahead and brightened her day. He'd made her laugh unintentionally and he'd made her smile when she was angry.

Her mother dashed to her side. "Are you okay?"

"Don't touch me!" Derin snapped. She was sure her mother's anger had come down that was why she was so courageous to talk to her in such way. If it were the other way, she'd still fear her mother's palm.

"Derin, kilode," Her mother's hands dropped to her sides. "What is it? What did I do wrong? You should know that whatever I do is in your best interest. You should even be more wary of men now —"

"Why?" Derin asked. Sitting up slowly, she faced her mother. "Why should I be more wary of men now?"

Her question was met with a deafening silence. She glanced at her friends who had turned their heads away from her. Her mother had also looked away. Something was up and they were not telling her.

"Mummy what happened?" Fear gripped her.

Gradually, she coiled back into her former position. Her legs raised to her chest and her hands wrapped around them.

Her mother looked up at her. With glistening eyes, she sat beside Derin. Derin moved away. She shook her head.

Fear.

She was afraid. Afraid of the unknown. Her mothers glistening eyes were now glowing red and the tears she tried to hold cascaded down her cheeks.

"Mummy why are you crying?" Her heart clenched. A warning bell rang in her ears.

Whatever she has to say, you must not hear.

Clenching her fists, she tried to still the tears that pricked her eyes. She did not like to see her mother cry, she often cried when she did. She remembered Nene, pouring a bucket of dirty water on her mother when she saw her selling Ogi by the roadside. She'd cried then, because her mother had cried and she cried now, because her mother was crying.

Closing her eyes, it was the memory of her mother's tears that haunted her. A memory she'd never forget. An just like that, she was a twelve year old girl who could not defend her mother.

"Derinsola come here. I'll sell the Ogi. Sit here!"

She'd watched her mother walk towards the street with the Ogi. Shouting "buy your Ogi!"
It was rare for people selling Ogi to run in traffic, but her mother did. Derin had seen the Black jeep coming. It looked familiar but she shrugged it off. On getting closer to where Derin's mother, Shola stood. The car window slide down. In one surprising motion, a hand sent a small bucket of water flying towards her mother.

Who kept a bucket of water in the car.

Derin ran towards her mother, as she staggered back slightly. The bowl of Ogi wrapped in small transparent nylons fell into the gutter nearby.

The head popped out from the car window. Smiling evily was Nene Nzube. The car sped off as the traffic cleared. Derin turned to see that her mother had staggered into the dirty gutter. And It was in that moment that she swore, never again, for as long as she lived would her mother suffer.

Moving closely to her mother's side, she wrapped her arms around her and recited a poem her mother had thought her once, when she was young and her mother was on a hospital bed suffering from Kidney disease. Then she'd feared she had lost her and just like then, they were in the hospital room and the person in the hospital gown had been the one reciting the poem.

Today it would be the same, only I'm the one in the hospital gown.

"Maami,
You must not cry
I did not die.
Like the yellow sun I shine on,
Like nature's plant, I'm evergreen,
In your fine memories, I'm evermore,
In the stormy rain, I'm always there,
In the raging storm, you must never fear.
My love is forever,
My death is for never.
You must not cry,
I did not die."

The tears had increased. Her sobs had become louder and the blue walls echoed. They were both crying. Derin knew her mother cried for something that had happened to her. Something that had created the fear she now felt, something that held her captive yet she did not remember. Warm hands wrapped around her shoulders, forgetting the pain she felt, she leaned in to her mother's touch. Their tears were silent. Low sobs and flowing rivers.

"Aderinsola, We must not cry, we did not die."

Derin smiled. "From the diary of Shola Adeyi. An English student of the Great Ife."

And they laughed. Inspite of the pain they felt within. They laughed because it was the only thing that could clear the pain. It was the only thing that could remind them that sometimes, just sometimes, they were happy.

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Ps. Dalu means thank you in my language.

Extra Ps. Great Ife is another name for the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife, Nigeria.