A/N: I'll probably keep spewing out a heap of unedited chapters since I'm working upwards of 50hrs a week during the school holidays. Not to mention the daily mental abuse and exhaustion from the traumatised kids I care for. Love them to death but honestly... goddamn. 

I'm feeling pretty devoted to this book and its cause so as long as you can forgive the mistakes, we should (hopefully) be pretty smooth rolling with the updates from here. 

Huge shoutout to fortheloveofgayyy for the much needed encouragement. 

Sincerely hope you enjoy! 

***

Liam Petry just used a homosexual joke to mess with me. I guess when he put his arm around me back at his place, it really was for comedic vitriol. Just like Charlie stupid Rascal. They wanted to bully me, just like Josh. Why did I have to prove mum and Josh both right? That this was a sin in the eyes of God. I shoved Liam away from me and stood to leave.

"Huh?" he said, standing quickly as if ready to chase me to the door. "Wait, wait, wait."

He moved in front of me and stretched his arms out both sides so I couldn't pass. The look of humour had wiped off his face pretty darn quickly. He was too tall and athletic so I wouldn't have a hope in hell even if I tried anything against him.

"Move," I said, crossing my arms.

"Let's talk this out," he said, putting his arms carefully in front of him like he was dealing with a sickly stray animal about to bolt. "I didn't mean to insult you."

"Well, you did."

"Excuse me," somebody approached from behind Liam, trying to pass. He quickly lowered his arms to let them through and apologised before blocking me again.

"I hear you," he said, returning to the conversation at hand. "I acknowledge my mistake. I don't want a fight between us, so let's communicate which part offended you and work around that."

He sounded like an adult which only made me angrier. I tensed my folded arms and gritted my teeth. "I'm a runner, not a fighter."

My response seemed to catch him off guard, causing his lips to turn upward. He caught himself quickly and resumed a neutral expression, arms still held out in defence. "Okay, that's completely fair. But we're about to eat some delicious Japanese. Can't you be angry at me after we share this special experience I was very much looking forward to?"

My anger dwindled at how sweet and childlike he appeared. Was this the same guy who literally just tried to humiliate me by making me feel like I'd sinned against God? I felt like an idiot, but I was way too weak against Liam Petry. His conviction was even stronger than his cool composure, so I couldn't help but cave after all.

"Fine," I said, keeping my arms crossed while I turned and sat back down. Liam didn't hide his relief as he let out a big sigh and did the same. I knew I was chucking a hissy fit like a child, but my Christian values were too important to me. If he couldn't respect them then maybe... Maybe I'd just have to find a new hero to look up to.

"Thank you," he said, with his body turned from me and not meeting my eye. It suddenly became awkward between us, right up until a server handed us our Ramune. Liam unscrewed one of the bottle caps and popped something around the lid, but I didn't quite catch what he was doing. "This is the original flavour, lemon-lime."

He handed me the bottle and watched as I took a swift sip, swirling it around in my mouth a few times. Liam watched with interest as I processed the taste. It had a sort of slimy thick texture and tasted way too sweet. Honestly, I hated it, but the look on his face was so curious and excited that I couldn't bring myself to disappoint him. Fighting back the urge to grimace, I swallowed the mouthful and set the bottle back down.

He looked at me expectantly.

"It's good," I said, watching the corners of his lips turn up.

He grabbed his own bottle and did whatever he did before, then held it up to me in cheers. We clanked our gross slimy tasting drinks together and took a swig. It seemed that the tension from before had already melted away. As long as I could remain level-headed, we could probably talk through things without it getting messy and without me having to lose him. Swallowing my pride was just a sacrifice I'd have to make.

A waitress brought our bowls out and the smell that wafted through my nose was unbelievably glorious. Liam said something to her in Japanese, probably thanks, before she walked off again. Our bowls both came with a fork, chopsticks, and a strange sort of soup soon that hung onto the bowl. Liam pulled his chopsticks and clicked them together a couple of times before taking his first bite of noodles.

He closed his eyes and said, "Mmmm, mm."

I moved the chopsticks out of the way and lifted the noodles out of the bowl, blowing a few times before putting them in my mouth. The glorious taste washed away that sickly sweetness of the Ramune, and I think I made the exact same sound as Liam. I snuck a glance at him, noticing that he was watching my reaction and evidently wholeheartedly approving of it. He was like a kid on Christmas.

"Good?" he asked.

"Amazing, actually," I answered through my mouthful. I scooped up a piece of the pork and nearly felt steam blow out of my ears as it felt like it melted in my mouth. Then I took a bite of the egg, which quite literally melted in my mouth. This whole thing was unbelievable.

Liam grabbed my chopsticks with his free hand and clicked them together. "You don't know how to use chopsticks?" he asked.

When I shook my head, he spent the next five minutes patiently teaching me how to use them. By the end of the five minutes, I could at least pick up the other piece of pork using the chopsticks. We high-fived, and we enjoyed our meals.

"About before," Liam said, pushing his finished dish away from him. "Can we still talk about that?"

It seemed like a buzzkill, but it was probably important to him, so I nodded. I kept eating, worried that any negative outcome my affect my opportunity to finish the ramen. I was taking too long because I was still positively useless with the chopsticks, constantly fumbling around to pick up noodles or green onions.

"What about the kiss joke didn't you like?" he asked.

"All of it," I said. "It was offensive."

"You know..." he trailed off, seemingly searching for the right words to say. "Being gay isn't offensive until someone tells you it is. And that's only when you choose to believe it."

"But you even made it sound like we..." Just saying the word felt sinful. I didn't even want God to hear it. I leaned forward and whispered, "Kissed."

"But we didn't," he said matter-of-factly. "It was indirect, anyway. I know I'm not gay, you know you're not gay, so it wasn't gay. It's only gay if it's gay. Me and my friends joke all the time, and I felt comfortable enough with you that it just came out naturally."

My eyes widened. He felt comfortable with... me?

"Me and Charlie can act so close that people always think we're gay," he said with a casual shrug, which barely helped to make his point.

"But isn't Charlie, y'know..." I stopped talking, watching Liam's expression turn sour as he looked at me as if to say, we've already talked about this. You know better. "Right."

A bunch of loud and rowdy voices approached the restaurant from the outside, consisting of yelling and laughter, before the doors sprang open. In waltzed a multitude of teenagers all dressed to the nines, most of whom I recognised in an instant. It was a bunch of the Christian group members, with Josh obviously among them. They must've decided to get food first before the service, instead of after.

I tried to duck my head, but the panels separating each booth were glass. I could see them, and as soon as they paid any attention, they'd be able to see me. They'd caught Liam's attention, then he looked at me as soon as I lowered my head. "They don't know you're not going?" he asked. "Will you get in trouble if they catch you?"

"More than that..." I mumbled and glanced at them without lifting my head. Pastor Cordell was already looking at me. Josh noticed me right away, too. "Crap."

My mum would definitely find out now. I didn't even want to think of the consequences she'd have in store for me when one of them would inevitably tell her they saw me here. Hanging with Liam Petry might well and truly be the equivalent of hanging with the devil. And here we were having a meal together, we might as well have been caught dancing.

Time after the next, God has been showing me that he's watching. Giving me the opportunity to make the right choices, not to turn away from him. This would undoubtedly be my retribution. Josh smirked at me before turning away and giving his attention to his friends, including that girl with the curly hair. Pastor Cordell smiled and waved when he met each other's eyes, but his attention turned to the kids he was with, too. It almost seemed like nothing was going to happen: for now.

"If you're uncomfortable, do you want to doggy bag your leftovers and head out?" Liam asked, folding his arms over the table so he was leaning over and gazing down at me.

I looked up at him. "Doggy bag?" I asked.

"Like, take your leftovers to-go," he said. "You've never heard of that?"

I shook my head. "No, but I think that might be a good idea."

Liam called a server over and he spoke in Japanese. They came back within a minute and handed him a white container and handed it to me. I poured my leftovers inside of it and followed Liam up to the counter where he paid. The few times I couldn't stop myself from looking over, I caught Pastor Cordell's. Something felt strangely ominous as I followed Liam closely out the door.

The evening was already cooling down as we left the building. The youth group service would start at seven and go until nine or nine-thirty, so Josh would still have plenty of time to notify mum that I was with Liam Petry, especially after talking to Tristan's mum. We walked along the block until we came to a kid's park. He led me to the swings.

"D'you wanna meet Charlie and gang?" Liam asked, gesturing for me to sit on the swing beside him. "They'd pro'bly be keen to hang if we asked them. Maybe we can all go to that church thing with your friend so you don't get in trouble for skipping."

I hesitated. It wasn't so much the lying about skipping I was worried about getting in trouble for, it was for seeing the person mum held responsible for my supposed idolatry and homosexuality. She'd probably fall into a deep pit of despair and then drag me down with her. But his offer was tempting. I'd love to invite Liam to church with me and introduce him to the glory of God. Even Pastor Cordell said it'd be great to invite people who don't know or accept Christ. Even those like Charlie who especially needed redemption.

"Well..." I started, ignoring the panic slowly creeping in. "I s'pose."

Liam broke into a dorky smile. "Awesome. I'll text Charlie and tell them to meet us here."

Maybe things would be better this way. Only tonight would tell.