Numbness. That was all she felt. Her eyes were blurred, her ears were drooped, and her head hanged low. She could sense someone next to her, but couldn't tell who it was. Creamkit felt empty like she was a bottomless pit. She could hear cats talking but their voices seemed so far away. Her emotions were are mixed up, she couldn't tell what she was feeling. Was it sadness? Grief? Anger? Helplessness?  Coldness?

        Creamkit rapidly blinked her eyes, trying to stop the tears. It was working... a little bit. She could now see her littermates curled next to her. They were just fuzzy balls in her clouded vision. The tiny kit just wanted to sleep by her mother's  side and wake up to another beautiful New-leaf day. She could hear some rustling in the background, but she knew it wouldn't be Yellowwhisker so why bother even looking. She could tell a cat had just situated themselves next to the trembling kits. It was Comfreyheart, she could tell by the tangy scent of herbs.

         The medicine cat was murmuring something to the kits, but Creamkit could only hear half of it before collapsing into darkness, "It's going to be okay. It was his time to go, you'll meet him again in Starclan. It's going to be okay..." 

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         Sunlight peeked through the nursery reeds, onto Creamkit's face. The tan kit scrunched her eyes at the brightness of the sunlight. Too bright. She steadily opened her eyes, Salmonkit and Shadekit were still asleep next to her along with Birchpelt who seemed to be watching them gently. Honeyshade was still not there. She must be preparing Yellowwhisker's body for burial. The grief tugged at her heart again, but she tried to push it away. She had to stay strong if she were to become a warrior, then again. Did she want to become a warrior?

         She gently got up and stretched her legs, careful not to wake her siblings. She walked over to Birchpelt who was watching the clearing.

         "Good morning..." the kit yawned. 

         "Good to see you're doing much better, after last night and all..."

         Creamkit just nodded. She had been trying not to think about it, but she had to accept what had happened. Even if it was hard. Yellowwhisker wasn't here anymore. She padded up to the entrance of the nursery and stretched once more in the warm sunlight. She expected to see the sun still rising, but in her surprise the fiery star was already up in the sky. Sun-high already? Huh, I must have slept really late. The tan kit put her paw forward outside the nursery but hesitated. It was her first time out in half a moon and she was nervous. Snap out of it Creamkit. You'll look weak! 

         She took a step out, only to see the clan scampering like rabbits preparing for the burial. She wandered her way through camp, looking for her mother but the queen was nowhere to be found. Distracted, the kitten bumped into another cat and tumbled over.

         "Watch where you're going!" bellowed a gruff voice. "Oh, a kit? Creamkit is it? What are you doing outside the nursery?"

          Creamkit stared up trying to match the warrior's gaze. "I was--ummmm looking for Honeyshade."

         The tom's voice softened, "Ahhh, I see. Your mother is currently outside of camp at Yellowwhisker's burial. Sorry about your loss. Such a tragedy at such a young age..."

         "Oh, ummm. I guess I'll be heading back to the nursery..." The tom nodded and left her alone again. Why did he have to mention Yellowwhisker?! UGH

         Creamkit pondered for a moment whether she should go back to the nursery like she said or whether she should sneak out of camp and find her mother. The tan kit sighed and headed back to the nursery. She didn't want the clan worrying where she had gone when they had enough to think about.

         She parted the reeds that encircled the nursery and entered to see that Icekit and Ashkit were playing tag. The younger kittens didn't know about the tragedy and were just fine with Birchpelt watching them. She could also see her littermates were passing a moss-ball to each other. Their heads down, their gazes unfocussed, the hits soft. How can they become warriors if they're shooken by a single death.

         "Grow up," hissed the tan she-cat.

         "What did you just say?" growled Shadekit.

         "I said! Grow up! How are you gonna become a warrior if you just sulk around after one loss!!"

         Salmonkit joined in, "That loss you're talking about is our father! Do you have no respect for him!? Our father, Creamkit! Without him we wouldn't be here today."

         "I know, but sulking doesn't help. Why don't you do something useful with your life and train or something. Warrior have to be tough!" With that, Creamkit went to the far end of the nursery. Not wanting to talk with her littermates anymore. Birchpelt noticed the kitten alone in the corner so the nursery queen shifted towards the kit.

         "I see you had a little argument with your littermates?" questioned the queen.

         "And now you're gonna say that the bond between my siblings and I is very important and blah blah blah..."

          Birchpelt chuckled, "No actually, I was going to say that they're right."

         "That was some pep talk. I feel all better now."

         "That wasn't exactly supposed to make you feel better." Rolling her eyes, the brown and white tortie continued, "As I was saying, they're kinda right ya know?"

         "No I don't know, otherwise I probably wouldn't be in this corner and you wouldn't be talking to me."

         "Okay, okay! I'll get to the point. As I was saying... warriors aren't just about being tough and strong."

         Creamkit interrupted, "Yay... A speech... Woohoo."

         "AS I WAS SAYING.... Just because you're sad doesn't mean you're not being a good warrior. Without compassion or respect, we wouldn't be any better than rogues. Then again, you shouldn't be sulking all the time."

         Creamkit finally took the tortie's words into account and began thinking. But isn't a warrior supposed to be strong? Isn't grief a weakness? 

         Curious, the tan she-cat asked, "Isn't grief a weakness?"

         "If you let it overpower you then yes. But if you learn how to control it, sadness can be turned into a strength."

         "I see..." mumbled Creamkit.

         "Now, I think you owe some apologies."

         Creamkit's pelt burned in shame, did she have to apologize. It was so embarrassing to admit you were wrong. She grudgingly trotted her paws to her littermates and began to form her 'sincere' apology, "I figured that to be a true warrior you shouldn't have any soft emotions, and I see I was wrong. I only hope that you will forgive the hurtful words I threw at you. I'm sorry."

         Salmonkit was trying to stifle his laughter but Shadekit didn't hesitate, "Drop the act sis, we know you don't truly mean that."

         "Maybe I don't mean the entire thing but I do want to say sorry."

         Salmonkit formally meowed, "We accept your apology."

          The littermates continued laughing, their relationship still strong as steel. Creamkit felt much better, the grief of her father was a lesser burden to bear now. Her littermates on the other hand, she could only hope they felt much better. One laugh doesn't make everything better.

Well this chapter took forever. I worked on half of it and then felt too lazy to continue. So sorry about the long wait. Anyways, I hope you liked it :)

The next chapter will show Salmonkit's POV. I want you to see how each of the kits handled grief at such a young age. I feel like most people only show the POV of the main character, but the protagonists littermates are just as important. I just want to make sure before you say that Creamkit dealt with sadness too quickly. Creamkit believes that sadness is a weakness so she tries to push it away as much as possible. She is still sad, but she doesn't show it as much. I hope I'm not taking the storyline too slowly.

Picture above is Dewflower