SALAAMS my dear readers! I am so very sorry that I haven't updated in so long. My final exams are coming way to soon, and I have been so busy lately. Please keep me in your prayers and Duas! Don't worry I will never leave you guys alone on the cliff for too long. :) Enjoy!

ALERT ALERT red flags everywhere: Dangerous content towards the end. Read with caution and at your own risk. I will not be responsible for any broken hearts! ♡

"Mubarak everyone! Alhamdullilah Bhabi and the twins are all healthy!" I smiled widely at everyone.

They all swarmed me once I came out of the surgery room with the late night on-call doctor.

"Where are they? Can we see Zarha?" Bhaiya asked impatiently.

"They are cleaning her up. You can see her in half an hour. And the babies will be coming out shortly before taking them for testing," I said.

"Testing? Is everything okay?" Mama asked.

I walked up to her and took her hands in mine, "Yes Mama, Alhamdullilah. It's normal, just to make sure everything's functioning properly."

"So when do we get to meet the twins?" Izhar asked impatiently.

"Well isn't someone impatient," I teased.

Everyone chuckled and his cheeks turned a light shade of blush pink.

"Right now," I said as two nurses came out the room holding the babies. We all gushed at their tiny little crying bodies.

Bhaiya was in tears and kissed his two bundles of joy over and over again. After everyone got a glance and caress, Izhar read the Adhan in the baby girl's ear and Bhaiya in the baby boy's.

As he held the tiny baby in his arms, I couldn't help but stare at him. His eyes were closed, and lips moved in a steady rhythm by the doll's ear. His eyelashes coated his high cheekbones and it took all my willpower to not run my fingers over his sharp features. After he finished, he blew over her and smiled down at her open eyes.

"In sha Allah, they'll be back in about an hour," I assured them.

"I'm going to find the prayer room and extend Nafl," Bhaiya said.

"I'll go too," Izhar said.

I smiled at both of them and gave them directions to the closest praying room. It was for all religions and had an indication as to which way the Qibla was, so it was nice to pray in between shifts.

As we waited for the twins and to meet Bhabi and for Bhaiya and Izhar to come back, Sabr and I went to the gift shop downstairs and bought flowers, balloons, and a big teddy bear that said Proud Parents of Twins on the shirt it wore. Sabr and I had been shopping for the twins ever since we found out their genders. We were both on shopping overload for the past three months picking up clothes, accessories, baby furniture, and anything we found cute or necessary.

When we were called into the room, we all gave our congratulations. Everyone was so happy, and the room radiated with excitement, sleep and all other things forgotten. Bhabi and Bhaiya couldn't stop looking at each other and smiling as they held their children.

After everyone got their turn with them, I asked them if they had decided names. We all had given our suggestions, but never knew what they finally picked. I smiled at myself thinking about the many times Izhar and I had gotten into an argument as we debated on what would be a better name.

"We actually have decided on the names," Bhaiya looked at Bhabi as he held his precious daughter.

"Yes, we have! Our son's name is Subhan Ilyas Hameed," Bhabi said.

"And daughter's name is Silsila Inayat Hameed," Bhaiya finished.

Izhar and I caught each other's eye and smiled widely. Those were two of the names we had picked.

"Phuppo and Phuppa's darlings," Bhabi said as she handed me Subhan, and Bhaiya handed Izhar Silsila.

I took my nephew carefully in my arms and smiled at his sleeping figure. I watched him affectionately as he squirmed his left hand out of the tightly wrapped blanket and made a fist. We had tried endlessly to keep both of his tiny hands wrapped in the blanket, but he kept taking them out. He was as stubborn as his father.

Everyone watched me and Izhar as he walked closer to me on the other side of the room. His eyes sparkled with happiness as he held Silsila in his arms. I caught him cooing to her in a quiet hum and playing with one of her fingers. Though her brother was asleep, she was wide awake. Izhhar looked so calm and happy with Phuppo's jaan in his arms, I couldn't help but admire him.

Sabr coughed from behind me as she caught me staring. I gave her a side glance and pulled Subhan habibi closer to me. Izhar came to stand right in front of me, and a smile traced the curve of my lips. He looked so peaceful and comfortable, it was heartwarming.

"I guess we are uncle and aunt to two more precious babies," he said.

His eyes left Sila's to meet mine and they held a certain emotion that I could only define as a mix of awe and adoration.

"Yeah, Alhamdullilah," I smiled.

We were so close to each other with Allah's blessings in our arms. His forehead grazed mine and we spoke sweet nothings to one another about the babies. Everyone watched us for awhile, but then let us enjoy our momentary eternal bliss.

******

"Nour darling?" Izhar yelled from across the kitchen.

"I'm right here Izhar!" I said.

I could see him walking across the mini dining table towards the kitchen and yet he still felt compiled to yell. Ammi chuckled from where she was wiping the plates and made her way out, winking at me.

It was the weekend, and we were spending the night at Izhar's parents place, and Huda Appi was here as well. I had just finished making the chicken biryani for dinner, and it was the thirteenth time my husband had graced the kitchen since I proceeded to make dinner.

I shook my head and wiped my hands on the paper towel as the warmth radiated off of his body and coated mine. He wrapped his arms low on my waist and kissed my shoulder and made his way up my neck. He was lucky since my hair was atop my head in a messy loose bun. My body shuddered, and I stepped away from him when he kissed a soft spot.

"Izhar! What do you want?" I asked irritatedly not giving him a second glance.

I opened one of the top cabinets to take out a serving dish but it was too high. I reached up on my tiptoes to grab the handle of the plate, but still couldn't reach it.

"Need some help?" Izhar asked from behind me.

He was leaning against the black marble countertop with his hands wrapped around one another. And a devilish smirk that I knew meant trouble made its way out. I shook my head at him and looked back at the cabinet. No way was I going to let him help me. If I did, then I'd have to pay him back.

His means of pay were way more intimate than I could imagine, not stopping at just one kiss or two small ones. "I'm okay, thanks."

I stared at the stubborn platter for a few more seconds and Izhar chuckled. I huffed in annoyance and looked at the countertop in front of me.

At home I used to climb up on the counters and stand on them so I could reach whatever I needed from up above. I guess that's what I had to do. Bismillah. I placed my cold palms on the counter and was about jump on it right when two familiar arms wrapped around me and lifted me so I was within reach. I gasped and automatically put one hand on Izhar's shoulder and looked down at him.

He smiled and winked at me and gestured his head up to where the stupid serving dish was. I looked away and grabbed the ceramic.

He gently placed me back on my feet and took a step closer to me. My back hit the edge of the counter and I looked down at the tile floor. "Thank you," I quietly said.

He placed his hands on either side of my hips on the counter and peered into my eyes. "You're very welcome princess," he said huskily.

Passion laced his voice, and I knew what was coming. I had to stop him before I had any embarrassing encounters. His chocolate and auburn locks played underneath the bright kitchen lights as he brushed his fingers across the bottom of my lip. It was a habit I noticed he picked up from the first time we kissed. Despite the tingles in my toes, fingers, and spine, I liked it. Maybe even a little too much.

"I-Izhar?" I asked.

I leaned backwards, his lips following mine. He kissed me once, twice, thrice before pulling away and smiling against the edge of my mouth.

"Hm?" Izhar mumbled.

"Someone will see us," my voice cracked at the end.

He leaned in once more, this kiss the longest. I moved my hands from behind me and tangled them across his neck. He was good at distracting me. We got caught up in the moment, and Izhar moved his hands from the counter to my waist. He pulled me closer, heartbeat to heartbeat.

"Izhar Mamu!" Sahar's voice called from away.

I pulled away and moved my hands to his chest. I pushed him back, but he pulled me closer and nuzzled my neck. I could feel his teeth grazing the hollow of my neck. Oh Jahanam!

"Izhar! Don't you dare," I warned.

He pulled away and bit his lip, a grin on its way. "What?" he asked innocently.

"You, you were trying to...." I couldn't finish.

"To?" he asked incredulously.

I gasped and smacked his arm as his laugh tickled down my jaw. "You know very well what!"

"Mamu!" Sahar yelled.

"Go before she sees us like this," I said.

He leaned his forehead against mine, and mischief lighted his dark chocolate and night sky eyes. "Like what? We are married my love!"

"And she is four," I said obviously.

He threw his back in laughter. His fingers grazed my hips, and he whispered in my ears making me blushing from head to toe.

"Mamu! Please come with me," Sahar ran into the kitchen.

My cheeks heated up with our closeness. What would Sahar think!? Ya Allah, Astagfirullah. Izhar chuckled, and without moving away, looked back at Sahar and smiled at her.

"Coming beautiful!" he said.

Sahar put her hands on her hips and blew air upwards to move the stray curl limply hanging on her forehead. It bounced back and she tapped her foot on the floor. "I'm waiting," she said.

Her cheeks were pink from running around, and I could only assume how red mine were. Izhar looked back at me and leaned in again. My eyes widened and I tried moving away, but I was trapped. You have got to be kidding!

Oh my Allah. Oh my Allah.

He kept leaning in until we were only an inch apart, and I wanted to melt into the floor. He tilted his head to the side, and his lips stopped at the base of my lips. Sahar stared at us, impatiently waiting for her boyfriend.

Izhar's arm reached behind, and in a dangerously low voice he said, "Mami thinks dirty."

My eyes were about to come right out of their sockets as he pulled back and waved a carrot slice in front of me that he'd picked from the salad bowl. He finally pulled away, and I visibly exhaled. Izhar walked backwards and winked as he took a bite of the carrot.

He turned to Sahar and said, "Let's go girlfriend."

She smiled at him and waved at me. I waved back like a robot and watched them leave the kitchen.

"Why were you taking so long? I wanted to show you my drawing!" Sahar pouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry my love. I was helping your Mami," he said deviously.

"With what?" Sahar sounded somewhat disappointed.

"Um, I was refreshing her memory on synchronization of the lip," Izhar said amusedly.

"Is that some kind of medical lesson?" Sahar asked.

"Mhm, you got that right!" I could hear the smile in his voice.

I smacked my head and shook in shame. Ya Allah, what is he teaching this poor little girl?

We were all sitting around the big dining table when Ammi piqued from the other side. "Izhar and Nouran, have you heard? Kabir is getting married in a month's time in sha Allah. They all want us to got to London."

"So he's finally getting married," Izhar said.

I looked over at him and he had his signature smirk on as he cut into his chicken. "That's great Alhamdulliah. Phuppo called me this evening and told me we had to be there no matter," I said.

"Yes, your Phuppa and Phuppo and everyone else is expecting all family members to be present. And they can't wait to see the eldest daughter-in-law in the family after so many months," Baba warmly smiled.

I smiled back as Imaan said, "Oh, how I love wedding season!"

She swooned in her seat, tightly clutching her chest and we all laughed. "Why don't you just get married?" Huda Appi said.

Imaan glared at her and Izhar said, "Appi, leave my baby sister alone. She's awfully too young," he winked at Imaan.

Imaan nodded her head and said, "Yes! Thank you Bhaiya. The only one who cares about me in this family."

Huda Appi rolled her eyes and we laughed.

"Mami takes care of everyone though," Sahar said from beside me.

"Aww," I said softly as I fed her a spoonful of biryani.

She refused to eat from anyone else when she was with me. I loved her so much, and was glad that Sahar jaani was a part of the family. Believe it or not, aside from her cuteness, she kept the family entertained.

"Yes, she does!" Imaan said.

"Nouran is the ideal sister-in-law," Huda Appi winked at me and Zargham Bhai nodded his head in agreement.

I tilted my head at her and mouthed thank you. Izhar watched me as I bit my lip and looked down.

"Not only is she the ideal sister-in-law, but she is the perfect daughter-in-law that stole our hearts and became another daughter," Baba said fondly.

I blushed deeply at their words suddenly felt overwhelmed. And then Ammi added, "That's just how our Nouran jaani is. Perfect in her own way."

I smiled at them and Sahar pulled my arm. I looked down at her from where she was sitting to my right. "Yes habibti?"

"Mami, is Kabir Mamu getting married?" Sahar asked.

"Yes, in sha Allah he is," I said.

She gasped astonished with the idea and looked at her parents from across the table. "Baba will we go to Maya Nani's house?"

"In sha Allah we will," Zargham Bhai said.

"We will go, but Sahar how will you go? Don't you want to go to school?" Appi teased.

Sahar hadn't started school yet but loved the idea of going. In her free time, she always pretended she was actually going. She'd take the Elsa backpack Izhar bought her and shove her storybooks and a few toys to pretend as if she were taking them to school. It was even quite adorable when she pretended to do homework.

"Oh, Mama. You're so silly. No one goes to school in the summer!" she giggled.

We all laughed, and Izhar rubbed his hand over her locks. She chewed on her broccoli and watched us enjoy her presence.

"So anyways, I hope you all can get leave from work for about a week and a half. They will have the Nikkah on Friday during Jummah, and the Mehndi ceremony will be that Friday night. And in sha Allah, the Walima will be that Saturday night," Ammi declared.

"In sha Allah," we all replied in unison.

We were all going to stay in a hotel even though they wanted us to stay in their house. It would be to hectic and busy for eveyone to live together so all the family members decided to book one hotel and live there. I'd never been to London, so I was looking forward to traveling and the wedding preparations. Everyone was relying on me heavily since I was the eldest Bhabi, and she usually had majority of the duties in our culture.

******

A new week had started and we were back home at our penthouse. Izhar had already changed into his pajama pants and v-neck navy blue t-shirt for bed. His arms were tightly coiled, the valleys prominent.

As I stood in front of the long mirror in our en suite bathroom, I looked over myself, fingering the skimpy material on my body. Tonight, I decided I'd pull out one of the more dangerous pieces revealing more than I was used to. It was dark charcoal grey with light pink accents on the plunging neckline and bottom. It came up to my mid-thighs and had two straps on either shoulder, the midriff transparent and made out of chiffon. I breathed heavily in and out through my nose and tried putting on a brave face. This girl in the mirror looked so different than me. She had a natural blush in her cheeks and swan-like neck that was almost always there now. Her skin was no longer just a normal peach like shade, but cream and roses. The tip of her nose matched her cheeks, and her lips seemed cranberry red and swollen.

I touched my lips and recalled the "lip synchronization" session I had had with Izhar in the past hour. Once we had made our way up to our bedroom, he had shut the door and locked it, not breaking his hold on me. He still couldn't fathom the idea that I'd finally let him do what he'd wanted to do for so long, and always took the chance whenever he could.

It had taken 20 minutes of coaxing him to finally let me go. I told him he'd be late for Tahajjud, and that I wouldn't let him kiss me again till he prayed. Like always, I won and now he was waiting patiently for me to finish.

I looked at myself one more time and combed my fingers down my chocolate brown locks. Lord, have mercy. I opened the door and peeked through the slim line. I couldn't see Izhar so I opened it a little more. He sat on the bed with his head leaned against the headboard, legs stretched out underneath the quilt, and one arm behind his neck. He watched me slowly open the door and close it behind me. Neither one of us spoke as I turned back around and awkwardly stood in the middle of the room.

I moved a strand of my hair behind my ear and peeked up through my lashes. His eyes traveled all the way from my head to toe. Unbeknownst, pink coated his face. I could feel my skin starting to burn as his eyes traveled down and he sat up. He started chuckling and covered his face with his hands. I stood there shocked, unaware of what to make of his reaction.

Izhar shook his head and looked at me longingly. He pulled the blanket away and walked over to where I stood. I played with my fingers and anxiously opened and closed my toes. I kept my eyes trained on the contours poking through his shirt, refusing myself to look into his smoldering eyes. One look, and I would be gone.

"Oh, darling," he said softly.

Izhar placed his hands on my hips, the thin material brushing against my waist. He softly kissed my lips and then my temple. I kept my hands clasped together in between us.

"Is it just me or did it get really hot in here?" he asked smugly.

I looked up at him, and his eyes glistened with amusement and fire. "It's the beginning of summer. It's not exactly supposed to be cold," I said quietly.

He grinned and chuckled, running one hand from my scalp to the middle of my waist where my hair ended.

"Damn, my wife is smart," he growled in my ear.

He kissed the inside of my jawline, and I closed my eyes. I played with his t-shirt, trying to think rationally.

"What made you pull out such a dangerous piece tonight," he said suddenly.

He pulled back and looked at me seriously. He knew I was up to something, but I had to play it cool. So I tangled my long, slender fingers in his hair and pulled his face closer to mine. I softly kissed his warm lips and whispered, "You don't like it?"

I kissed him again and could feel the tension radiating off of his body. I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't want him to think I was scared. Even though I was. Very much.

He didn't kiss me back the second time so I kissed him again, this one deeper. He kissed me back roughly, but pulled away too soon. Izhar shook his head and pulled my chin up trying to look into my eyes.

"I love it. But Nour, this isn't right. You're not ready," he said.

My hands froze in his hair and I pulled away. "We are married remember? And I am ready!"

"Darling, trust me. I want to. You'll never how much. But love, I don't want to hurt you," he said quietly. His eyes darkened but they held a soft glow. I knew he'd never hurt me.

"Izhar, I know very well that you won't hurt me purposely. I know it'll hurt in the beginning, but- but practice makes perfect right?" I whispered shyly.

He brushed my hair away from my face and cupped my cheeks. He kissed my nose and in a deep voice said, "Oh love, I know it will at first. But I don't know how much self control I have to stop myself from hurting you. What if I can't control myself, and I lose it like that other day in the alley. I'm scared of losing you, and to know that I can simply hurt you with one tug, one caress scares me," he said truthfully.

Izhar's eyes were tightly shut, and I ran my fingertips over his eyelids. My husband was scared of having no self control because of his past? Only he who suffers, knows how it is to feel that pain and the lifelong burden.

I innocently pecked his cheek and guided his hands back to my waist, "I don't know why you think you'll hurt me because of your past Izhar, but I know that I want this, I want you. I don't care if your one touch can break me, I want to break in your arms. I want you to unleash me. Kiss me like I'm broken, and you're the only cure I have. Love me like the poison that burns within you. Touch me like I'm the last breath in this world that will set you free," I whispered.

He clenched his jaw, his hands became fists on my hipbone. His knuckles were rough against me, but I didn't care. I touched his cheek and guided his eyes back to mine. They burned in the deepest flames and though I was scared of what he was capable of, I knew he would never wound me. I kept one hand on his face and moved the other to the hem of his shirt. My cool knuckles brushed against the expanse of his hard waist, and he shuddered at my touch.

Good.

I leaned up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He didn't react at first but as I deepened it, he growled and grabbed my waist, pulling me closer.

"Damn it Nouran," he groaned.

I sent a quick silent prayer up to Allah and took a deep breath. I moved my fingertips across his stomach running over the ridges and his lower abdomen. "I love you," I rasped.

"I love you," he said softly.

We looked at each other and I slightly nodded my head, guiding him back to me. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"Because I want to," I said confidently.

He shook his head and picked me up in his arms. He gently laid me on my back and hovered over me, "If I hurt you, please tell me stop Nour," he said quietly.

I nodded and before I knew, the lamp on the nightside crashed to the tile floor, and there was no light except for the soft hum from the awake city.

*opens invisible door and escapes*

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*sprinkles fairy dust everywhere*