So I was talking to my grandma about religion and it went like this:

Me: what is the actual definition of religion?
Grandma after thinking for a bit: well, there's no concrete definition but we know it as a way of life and - to many - Islam is the best way of life. There are some ppl who say they're Muslim or Christian, etc. But they don't go pray or make salah, they just e x i st. Now, you don't want to just exist. So you follow our Lord and saviour-

Cutting it off there, my brain was like "it would be nice to just exist without having to feel the need to please someone I've never met". I mean- idgaf abt God and his wants or rules, I just want to live my life the way I want to and do what I want without having to worry that smth bad is going to happen in the afterlife- I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO HELL OR HEAVEN! Like- if the world was a much simpler place, they wouldn't even exist.

Now if I did a bunch of good things in my life and died and found out there's no heaven or hell, I'd slap God across the face bc he made me paranoid for absolutely NOTHING and I followed through with that paranoia. Now, if I did bad things (And skipping out on my salah like I have been doing for the past idks) and died and found out that heaven and hell don't exist, despite everything, I'd hug god bc my life was fulfilled and there's no consequences so what other choice do I have but to thank the asshole of the All Mighty?

OH! OH! AND GET THIS!

Me: you say that whatever religion ppl follow, they believe what they're doing is right. What abt ppl and Satanism? They coulda thought the devil had a point or smth And what THEY are doing is righ-
Grandma: you should not involve urself in Satanism. Satan is evil and it will only do u harm in the end
Me: ...but what if-
Grandma: you should not involve urself in Satanism
Me: ..........ok but-
Grandma: *gets out of car bc we arrived at our destination*

..........her finding out my true identity will honestly break her heart beyond repair.