Kids au
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Angelo: JERRY NO!

Jerry: *chewing on a squirrel*

Angelo: *picks him up and pats his back* Spit. It. Out!

Jerry: *spits it out*

*Squirrel squeaks and runs away*

Jerry: *sticks his tongue out at Angelo*

Angelo: Don't put random stuff in your mouth!!

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Chris: Is your kid okay?

Jerry: *chewing on the couch*

Angelo: Oh you know him! He's just at that teething stage. *smiles*

Lucifer: *grabs a spray bottle full of water and sprays Jerry* Bad boy. Don't chew on the couch!

Jerry: *whines and crawls down*

Max: Play with me instead! *holds out a toy car for him*

Chris: Sooo instead of buying chew toys, you're just letting him chew on anything?

Lucifer: What?

Angelo: *blinks* They have chew toys?

Chris: *facepalms*

Jerry: *chewing on Max's cheek*

Max: *giggling* He won't let go!

Chris: *deadpans*

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Jamey: Here Jerry. *gives him a baby chew toy*

Jerry: *preens and chews on it happily*

Jamey: *looks at Angelo and Lucifer*

Lucifer+Angelo: oh.

Chris: mutters: Jesus fucking christ, how have you not killed these kids already?