"i can't l-lie"

My breath was steady again and my eyes fluttered open.

I lowered my legs down so they were straight and flat on the floor. I rubbed my eyes, letting out a long relieving breath. I'm okay now. People are just curious and it's their human nature to go snooping around where they shouldn't and making up fake facts for what they couldn't find.

My eyes were drooped; I'd lost control of them and they began closing automatically. They stopped halfway through and I kept my eyes trained on the wall in front of me, not bothering to stop the heavy thoughts from crashing into my skull.

I wasn't pregnant.

I wasn't.

I don't think he's pranking me and I hope not.

I also hope he isn't being blackmailed.

Some people were just so inconsiderate now, do they not care how the person on the other end feels? Maybe if it were them, they'd react differently but sadly, it wasn't.

I didn't remember how long I was there but I could sense a presence. Maybe it had been a few seconds or minutes, but I felt a soft touch against my right shoulder. It was smooth and slow, making my body tingle and the hair on my arms stand up in shock.

I gradually turned my head to the right to see what or who had been touching me.

I squealed, flying a few metres off the ground.

"Shh, Hermosa, it's just me."

"W-What are you doing?" I exclaimed, my chest rising and falling rapidly. Because of his extremely close proximity, I had lost control of my voice and the stutters had returned. They'd never left before but it's back now more than usual.

Carson was sitting directly next to me, but now I had scooted far away from him out of fright. I thought he said he'd be back next week, not jump scaring me on Friday. What was he doing back here?

His hair was ruffled in a nice way, the slight curls creating a soft texture. His eyes glistened with concern and worry and facial features represented the same. He sat with his knees, which were covered in dark black jeans and were pulled up to his navy t-shirt covered chest.

He fancied plain t-shirts and I never knew why. I found them boring. Why not wear bright coloured and patterned clothing? Something not many people would wear? Why blend in? Why not be different?

I didn't know whether I followed my own beliefs because I only wanted to fit in.

Different was such a strange word. Everyone was different yet they were combined into the same groups of nerds, loners and populars. That's just high school, when you enter the real world, there are the rich, the middle and poor. What was the entire point of having a labelled status? It wasn't going to help you in the future and I know that very well from my mother.

I wish I could say 'It's Carson's fault for all the rumours' since it technically was but I wasn't because that's just not fair and righteous. Deep down, I knew it wasn't his fault. But maybe deeper down, I thought it was. My body stupidly finds entertainment out of my struggles and predicaments.

"Iris, are you okay?" he asked, turning his head towards me and leaning his chest further into his knees.

I nodded my head.

I'd learn how to bite my lip on the inside so it looked like I wasn't biting my lip at all. I would lick my lips so the dryness disappeared momentarily and then I'd push my upper teeth down hard on to the inside my bottom lip.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, wringing my sweaty hands together.

"If you don't mind me asking another question, but why are you here?"

I furrowed my brows.

This was my locker, why wouldn't I be here? I'm just taking a few seconds of calm breaths.

"You do realise it's... fourteen minutes into... second period right?" Carson explained hesitantly and I could see why he paused before telling me.

"W-What?" My eyes widened half a fraction and I tried my best not to panic.

"It's all right," he murmured, moving closer to me to pat my shoulder.

I shook my head jerkily, burying my face into the palm of my hands, wailing incoherent words to myself, surprised that Carson could actually pick up on it. "My mother is going to kill me. She's going to be so mad. No. No. No."

"Iris, it's all right."

"No, it's not!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around my legs and bringing my knees up to my torso. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid," I muttered, hitting my head on my knees after every word.

"It's okay. You'll be fine."

"I can't lie! It's not good to...lie," I burst out, glaring at Carson before realising what I had said and covered my mouth. Lying is what I've been doing. I was such a hypocrite. I'd lied to him and my mother. What was becoming of me? I was taught to be honest and now the honesty was buried deep down inside, never to resurface again. "I'm sorry," I apologised, biting my lip.

He stood up, brushing the invisible dirt off his pants.

He's going to leave now because of my rude outburst. I shouldn't have yelled at him. He had been nice to me despite my cruel theories about him. What if he really wanted to be friends? That thought never crossed my mind. I always thought negatively and now he might actually hate me.

Instead of leaving me like I thought he would, he held out his hand.

I didn't say anything. I only stared.

"Come on, we'll just go to the nurse's office and say you were sick and I was sitting here with you. Then she'll give you a note and you can hand that to your mother," he explained, beckoning me with his outstretched hand.

"I can't l-lie," I claimed again. You've lied to your own mother and Carson before, a small voice in my head noted and I shook it off.

"This is a small white lie so it's all right. I'll do the talking," he prodded, reaching down to pull my arm up.

I shook my head. "I c-can't lie to my m-mother."

"But you're telling her the truth, minus being sick. You technically were sitting there, missing out on a whole period," Carson noted, using both hands to pull both my arms up and this time I let him.

We walked in utter silence. It was good because it gave me time to think. My mother wouldn't buy the 'sick' excuse without me coughing or having a wheezy nose and there is no way I can act that. I can say that I was sick, but nothing more.

Perhaps she'll let me go this time since I got an A on my last Modern History exam, I'll just subtly bring it up. Maybe I'll say I was sick because of that. Because I stayed up studying late. Okay, that's a good and reasonable lie.

Oh God, why am I plotting different lies? What is happening to myself? Where did all the honestly go?

A cough woke me up from my trance, "So...why were you sitting there?"

I kept my head straight, but my eyes moved to the corner so I could briefly see Carson's face. I wasn't going to tell him and I wouldn't be able to speak either way so I shrugged.

"I know you and you'd never miss a period," he explained and raised a brow.

I shrugged again giving him a blank look.

He doesn't know me.

He's never spoken to me until now.

"Okay, I don't know you that well but I've seen you in every class and you don't miss a single one." Carson reworded his previous sentence and it confused me further. He's seen me before? When, where and why? I thought populars ignore people like me. I'm invisible, there was no way he could've seen me.

I shrugged again.

He was going to ask another question but the nurse's door stopped him.

Being a gentleman, he pushed open the door before holding it for me. I ducked my head to avoid his piercing gaze and walked through, the peculiar smell of band-aids enveloping my nose.

Mrs Black was our school nurse and had been since the 2000's. Despite being old and wrinkly, she was extremely kind and gentle to the students who come here and no one disrespected her because of her frailness.

Her white hair was pulled messily into a low bun that sat on the back of her neck. Despite having rectangular glasses that sat on the bridge of her nose, she always squinted her eyes. There was no specific uniform but with the very few times I'd been here, she'd be wearing a black pencil skirt and white blouse.

"Carson, how may I help you today?" Mrs Black's small voice popped up behind her desk. It was like those in doctors receptions, the desk was fitted with a shelf which was too tall so you couldn't see the person behind the desk unless they were standing.

"Hey Mrs Black, my friend"--he nodded at me--" was sick during first period so I sat with her at her locker. Can she get a note for her mother excusing here from her lesson."

"Oh dear, are you all right?" She turned her attention to me making me shrink out of anxiousness.

I didn't trust my voice so I just nodded.

"She's all better now, so she can attend the rest of her classes," Carson added, placing a hand on my shoulder. Another warm feeling flushed over me and I burned bright red.

"That's good to hear, I'll type up that note for you now," Mrs Black said and I could hear her moving on her wheelie chair and computer keyboard sounded echoed through the silent room.

Carson smiled at me reassuring me and I averted my gaze.

a/n: vote and comment x