If I had the choice I would have stayed in my room alone on my eleventh birthday. I didn't want to meet the neighborhood kids I'd go to school with. I didn't even want to see the light of day until I saw Dylan again. I hated everyone and how they smiled and looked at me with pity. Mostly I hated myself for being able to see it while my parents were rotting in the burned down remains of my home. I didn't want to be alive let alone celebrating another year of living.

Michael made that impossible. He never was one to let you sit and wallow alone. When I first moved in with them I spent most of my time under my bed. I never said a word and I ran away from everyone. That didn't stop Michael from visiting me everyday. He'd come home from school and sit in a chair far away from me everyday until bedtime. Sometimes he did homework, sometimes he'd sleep, but most of the time he played his portable PlayStation. That's what got my attention.

I never saw a game system before. In my house we had a single tube TV set up in the living room that we watched together. My parents were old fashioned and broke like that. Dylan always hated it. Said he felt suffocated so he was always out with his friends. He was just a teenager rebelling against his parents like any other. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to get away too.

I loved my parents, I loved that home, I even loved that old tube TV. On my eleventh birthday I decided I didn't need any of it. I missed it all but I needed to move on with my new life. As much as it hurt I knew they were never coming back. I couldn't wish to go back to a life that wasn't meant to be while everyone around me tried so hard to keep me in this one.

My life belonged to those who helped keep me alive. It no longer felt like my own after the fire. From the firefighters who tried to save my parents to the paramedics who kept me breathing until I got to the hospital. Even after I woke up alone the doctors and psychiatrists helped me through the damage left behind. To my body and my mind. That's where I met Ms. Frias as she became my primary counselor. I don't know what she saw in me but a few months later I was living with them.

Life with the Artigas felt right, it felt normal. Michael was a perfect brother. I guess he always wanted a sibling but his mom couldn't have any more kids. I missed Dylan and hoped everyday he'd come back for me but Michael made waiting bearable. So when he asked for a favor on my birthday I couldn't refuse.

All I had to do was talk to his best friend's sister and be nice to her. After meeting Alex I thought it would be easy. He was nice and cute and I thought she would be the same. I couldn't be more wrong. They didn't even look alike though she was pretty. I found I had more in common with her than any of them. We bonded over our hatred of the other kids and some dead flowers.

As we grew up it became harder. I did some awful things to her that I'm not entirely proud of, all so I could fit in. She never gave up on me though. I don't know if it's because she really cared about me or if she was just truly lonely. She was always there for me after Michael was arrested and in return I tried to do the same. I'm always guilty of something like that.

These days it feels like I'm going through another phase of selfishness similar to high school. Only this time I'm the one being left behind. Nona has a circle of friends she's extremely close with now. And I don't fit in with them. They all dance and have all these things in common that I don't understand. Nona and I don't even like the same music anymore.

The Nona I know was a sad girl who clung to what she could to survive. Now she's her own person with her whole life in front of her. I've never seen her so content with life and I'm happy for her. It's just that now I'm the sad one and I'm reminded of this as I walk through my old living room for the first time in weeks. Michael and Nona sit on the sofa as they play Mortal Kombat on an old Xbox. Nona swears and tries to shove Michael's controller from his hand. He just laughs, focusing on the screen across from him and shoves her back.

"You're such a cheater," she cries and throws her controller down as I assume she loses.

"I think that's 23 to 37, me." He gloats still focused ahead before giving her a cheeky side eyed grin, "Wanna go again?"

She smirks back as if she's willing to lose another round to him before seeing me enter. She immediately sits up with a toothy grin as that beams at me, "I wanna play Kara."

I raise both brows and stand in the doorway. I haven't been here ten minutes and she's already roped me into something. Michael scoffs and rolls his eyes, "I can't even beat Kara, what makes you think you can?"

She turns to glare at him and starts to bicker. The look on Michael's face says he loves every minute of it. Only she could talk to him the way she does and receive a smile for it. I look between them glad to have the heat off me before turning my eyes over the space around me. It's quiet and tidy without another soul in sight. Something's not right.

"I thought your wedding was today."

There's no sign of the stress or excitement one might expect on the day of someone's wedding. It's nine o'clock and these two are playing video games in the living room. I expected to come in to find everyone scrambling to get ready and Nona hiding from Michael. There's no one else even here. It's just another day in the Artiga-Frias household.

"It's out back," Nona tells me standing up and forgoing their game completely.

"Dad and Alex went to pick up chairs the church is letting them borrow. We're waiting on the other's to really get started though," Michael informs me, doing the same but pulling her back down to his lap. She squeals then giggles as he buries his face in her hair, "Mom and Winona are in the kitchen baking the cake if you want something to do."

I frown realizing that's his hint to get me out of the room. I really don't want to help ma. I knew it'd be impossible to avoid them but I thought I could at least keep contact to a minimum. A familiar dread creeps up my chest as I slowly make my way toward the kitchen. Then the front door opens and I hear Mr. Artiga's voice bellow through the entrance hall.

"Come help carry this around back."

Michael groans as Nona leaps from his lap, laughing at him as she sprints through the archway. He quickly follows after her, trying to catch up. I sigh in relief and do the same. An hour placing chairs with Mr. Artiga is much less stressful than a moment baking with ma. He doesn't pry as much as she does.

So we all unload eighty folding chairs from the back of his truck and set them up in the backyard. There are boxes strewn around with decorations to be set up by four. Each one is spilling over with flower garlands and strings of fairy lights. It appears someone has already started stringing them around the gazebo but stopped halfway through and abandoned it. I watch Michael pick up a box to move it out of the way. As he passes Nona he whispers something in her ear that makes her blush before laughing and moving to place it on the deck.

Clearly they did have a responsibility but found something much more entertaining to do.

The first person to show up and actually help is Nolan, soon followed by Sadie and her younger brother. We have to send him inside to help Ms. Frias since he kept wanting to tear the decorations down as we hung them. She had no choice but to bring him as her parents are out of town. Their excuse for having her watch him was for practice. From what I've heard though she basically raised her brother already. Now we have two children to watch and one just wants to destroy everything.

One second it's abnormally serene, the next the house is a chaotic mess. An hour ago I was worried we wouldn't be ready. With the extra helping hands the place begins to come along nicely, even with the terrible tornado coming through to undo what we've done. By noon everything is almost ready. Everything except the bride.

Sadie, Addison, and I just finished getting ready out of sight in the library. As a pseudo bride's party Nona picked out our outfits. Sadie decided it would be a good idea to get ready at the same time. The only problem is Addison and I are in the middle of a cold war. As a result the room stayed painfully silent aside from the rustle of clothes. So it's a welcomed reprieve when Nona barrels in from the hallway in search of something.

The carefree smile from earlier is now replaced with panic as she briefly turns her eyes over the group of girls to stop on Sadie with a glare, "Where is that snot nose brother of yours?"

Sadie's eyes widen and shift around guiltily, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since we finished out back. Why?"

"He stole Michael's ring and ran off claiming it as his treasure."

"Oh," Sadie sighs and rubs her temples in annoyance, "He's playing pirate. He either buried it, ate it, or flushed it."

Nona's eyes grow wide the size of her head before she turns around and sprints away. We rush out after her to see her run up the stairs. Sadie turns back to us with a nervous smile, "We should probably look in the living room between the cushions. Maybe in potted plants or... his pants. I'm so screwed."

She fans her face before turning to jog to the living room. I go to follow her when a hand lands on my shoulder. When I look over Addison's imploring face makes my heart skitter in my chest. With a quick shake of my head I back out of her hold and point a thumb behind me.

"We gotta find that ring."

It's a shitty move. Like leaving her on read but posting pictures for her to see anyway. I'm just not ready to talk yet. Not today. Today isn't supposed to be about me.

She gives me the space I need while we tear the house apart for a tiny ring or a tiny thief. I can barely focus as I watch her glare at everything in front of her. I know it's not for the ring. I wish I could tell her now. With my parents just around every corner it's impossible to get even a second alone without the chance of them walking in. It'll have to wait. I just hope she understands that.

We basically ripped the entire room apart in half an hour before the culprit himself runs through the kitchen door. He stops with wide eyes when he sees us and tries to high tail it for the front hall. Sadie is quick to block his path, rounding the coffee table like a woman who isn't currently pregnant to grab his arm. He struggles in her grasp calling every name a five year old can think of while she glares at him.

"Tell me where it is before I make you a stain on this carpet."

He narrows his eyes and continues to jerk around in her hold as he grunts back, "Don't got it no more. Gave it to Teddy."

We all stare at him confused while Sadie asks, "Who's Teddy?"

As if on cue Winona scrambles through the door and scans the room with an adorably scrunched up face before finding Ryan. She throws a tiny hand up to point at him and with the cutest demanding voice says, "Get back, mister, abello needs help."

And with that we've lost Sadie. She swoons, letting go of her brother to grab Winona in her hands instead. The little girl immediately falls back away from her touch and turns to run only to bump right into her father's legs. She grabs on tight to his dress pants and repositions herself to hide behind him. Alex just smiles fondly at her and rests a hand on top of her head before looking at us all. He holds out a tiny bag for us to see.

"I found it, don't shoot them."

To this Ryan sticks his tongue out at Sadie who scoffs and reaches for him again. This time he dodges it and escapes through the entrance hall. Probably to hide in Mr. Artiga's office or an upstairs bedroom. Sadie swears, calling after him as she rounds the corner for another search. I breathe a sigh of relief just glad we don't have to look anymore. When I catch Addison's gaze from the corner of my eye I avoid it once more and turn to smile at Winona.

"Aren't you just the prettiest thing? Wanna go find auntie and help her dress up, you'll get an even prettier dress too."

She beams at me and pulls away from her father to grab my hand but he stops her and frowns at me, "What's wrong with the one she has on?"

"It's not the one Nona picked," I tell him simply like he should've known.

She's the flower girl so it's obvious she has to match the bride. Did no one tell him we'd do her up too? It wouldn't surprise me. Nona said she's had trouble getting a hold of him lately. He frowns at the idea and looks down at her. He's always been nervous letting her out of his sight.

He looks back at me and reluctantly concedes, "Just not too much, yeah?"

I smile in an attempt to assure him and pull her closer, "Don't worry, she'll be a natural beauty."

He allows me to take her and nods, even if hesitantly, "Thanks."

I take Win upstairs to find Nona and tell her the good news so she can finally change from her sweats and get ready. We go to one of the guest rooms that actually used to serve as Nona's when she stayed over. There were times when she stayed a lot, in between the periods she waited on her mother. They lived a whole Summer here after her dad died. Then she stopped completely and that's why Michael wanted me to be her friend. They were always welcomed but never stayed for extended periods. I think they didn't want to overstay their welcome but that could never happen.

The other girls soon join us including Ms. Frias. Being Nona's madrina she's had her hands in just about anything she can get them on. It's tradition and since Nona's mother clearly isn't up for the task mine was more than willing. She had free reign to make this wedding traditionally Latin as humanly possible. While Nona never was close to her heritage since her mother is white she considered it an honor. Since coming back Michael has even reconnected with their culture and grown closer to his parents.

So once again I feel out of place in a world that was basically built around me.

Ms. Frias tells us what to do while she works Nona's hair. The energy in the room is light and carefree, putting a smile on everyone's face. I try to maintain it as she tells us of when Nona's hair almost reached the floor. It's hard as I picture a time when I didn't exist in this world and Ms. Frias seems so happy about it. I wonder if Mr. Diega never died and Nona kept coming to the Artiag's would they have adopted me?

They had the perfect little girl in Nona. Sure she wasn't theirs but she may as well have been. I tried so hard to follow their rules and traditions but it never came easy. I still only know base knowledge and my Spanish is subpar at best. Even after spending the majority of her life in an English speaking household Nona seems to breeze right through it. She's so perfect they look right past any fault she has. That just seems to leave all the criticism for me.

I couldn't even fix her dress up without being told I'm doing it wrong. That's why they sent me to fix Winona's instead. I'm barely needed there either. They giggle as Sadie fixes up the mess of blonde on top of her head. Something tells me she doesn't get to dress up like this very often. The look on Sadie's face makes it clear that she hopes for a little girl. As long as it's not her brother I think she'll do fine as a mother.

"You're an addict." I hear Addison scoff behind me and turn, as it's the first time she's spoken in hours, to see Nona on her phone, again, "Get off and look at me before I stab your eyes. You can't even go five minutes without talking to him."

Nona gasps in mock offense, finally lifting her head to look at her, "I can't believe you'd say that. This is one addiction I will not slow down on."

She waves the phone around and proceeds to bury herself back into it. Addison's annoyed scowl does little to perturb her from the action. I look to ma wondering how she views this interaction and just see her smile. Of course she would only see it as them joking around. No one told them about Nona's problem with prescription pain pills so it's not that serious to her.

If she only knew the truth maybe she wouldn't look at her so fondly. Who am I kidding? Michael was arrested for an armed robbery and they were begging him to come home when he got back. Granted it was all a cover up for what he was really doing but they didn't know that then. It seems I'm the only one who can do any wrong in their eyes.

Winona makes a face of surprise and starts hopping up and down next to me. When she grabs Sadie's dress skirt and tugs her toward the door it's obvious where she needs to go. Sadie smiles apologetically around the room before Win rushes to open the door.

"I need to find Ryan anyway to make sure he doesn't ruin the ceremony. I'll send her back and see you guys later."

"She's right, it's almost time."

Ms. Frias starts to pack up, probably remembering she needs to get ready to walk with Michael. I'm half tempted to follow her out. I can't decide what's worse anymore. Time alone with my mother or arguing with Addison. I can tell by her extended silence while she worked on Nona's make-up that she's ready for a confrontation and I'm not in the mood.

As Ms. Frias passes by she makes the decision easy. She stops next to me and frowns as she scans my attire. Then, as it usually does when she sees me, it stops on my exposed forearm. I prepare myself for what I already know she's going to say before she even opens her mouth. It always hits me like a bucket of ice.

"Have you been using that lotion I recommended? The swelling doesn't appear to have gone down at all."

I close my eyes and immediately pull my arm closer to me, "Yes, ma. It didn't help."

This is why I wear sweaters when it's eighty degrees outside. This sleeveless gown does little to hide my skin from the world. Nothing can conceal it from my mother's discerning eye though. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her. She doesn't listen to me. You can't heal a scar. I managed to ignore it all day because, until now, no one even looked at it. Of course I had a cardigan on for most of the day.

She frowns in response to my snappy tone and looks away guiltily, "Okay, I'm sorry. We'll figure something else out. I'll see you girls downstairs."

She smiles one last time around the room before quickly exiting. Now I feel like the asshole. Nona only adds to it as she stands up and approaches me with a similarly pitiable frown, "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking when I picked the dresses. You can put a jacket on or-"

"No, it's fine." I wave off her suggestion knowing Ms. Frias would be more disappointed in that than my scar, "It's just family and friends anyway. Everyone already knows. I'll be fine."

She looks at me like she doesn't believe me. I might agree with her. Like I said earlier though, this day isn't about me and I need to make sure it stays that way. Addison's face lights up with an idea as she grabs her kit and drags it over to me. She kneels on the floor and grabs my wrist to open my arm to her. She pulls out a brush and dabs it in the concealer before painting my skin. I gulp when I notice a light smirk trace her lips as she peers up at me.

Nothing is going to cover up the fleshy six inch line crawling up the underside of my arm. I appreciate her trying though. A true knight in shining armor. She inspects her work when she finishes and pulls my wrist closer to her lips. When they make contact a shiver sneaks up my spine.

I yank it away, surprised at her brash behavior but not really at the same time, "What are you doing?"

I look at the closed door then to Addison's disappointed frown, "Trying to make my girlfriend feel better. Why do you keep pulling away from me?"

She stands and looks at me like I'm the ridiculous one so I hiss back as I try to defend myself, "You can't do that here."

"Everyone already knows Kara," she waves her arm around as if to gesture to the whole house. As she throws my words back in my face I'm fed up.

"I don't care who knows, my parents sure as hell don't and I want to keep it that way."

She stands there fuming for a moment and I think she might actually cry. I've only ever seen it a few times. I've never been the cause of her tears, "I don't appreciate being treated like this. I deserve respect like anyone else. We can't keep going like this. I can't keep doing this."

She doesn't say anything else as she stares at me as if waiting for a response. I have nothing to give her right now. My throat constricts preventing me from even trying to get the words out. Now's not the time. The door behind me opens and Addison takes this opportunity to storm out of the room before I can formulate some excuse.

Winona stumbles in by herself and smiles proudly at us not feeling the tense air around her, "All done potty."

"Good job, pooh-bear." Nona bends over and pats her head before turning back to me with a frown.

She nods her head toward the door as if expecting me to follow Addison out. I just shake my head in response. It hurts to speak as I force out an apology, "I'll fix it, just not right now. This is supposed to be your day, I'm so sorry."

She tilts her head skeptical of my words, "You sure? You know what you're doing then?"

"Don't worry, I've got it."

Even as I say it I bite my lip and wonder if I really do know what I'm doing. I have no real plan with Addison right now. I'm more just playing it by ear and hoping for the best. We really can't keep going like this though. I know it's only a matter of time before she calls it quits and I'm truly left alone. I'd deserve it.

She frowns, not quite believing me either before her phone dings. As she looks at it I wonder briefly if it's really Michael she's texting. He's right downstairs but he's supposed to be getting ready too. Despite my better judgment I glance at the screen to confirm it really is him. A little piece of me really believed it might be Carlos and I chastise myself for that mistrust of my friend.

She smiles and shakes her head as a blush sweeps across her cheeks. It warms my chest and loosen the knot in my throat to see the genuine joy he elicits out of her when he's not even in the room. Only Michael can get her flustered in such a way. She sends a quick text back and closes her phone. She holds it out to me and looks away like she can't bear to part with it.

"Take this from me. We need to get going and it's distracting. How do I look?"

As the phone lands in my hand I scan her appearance. Somehow the dress looks even more stunning than it did two weeks ago. Her makeup is done to highlight her tan skin and show off her rounded cheeks. Purple clematis flowers pull her green hair back in a loose, stringy bun that allows her veil to easily flow down her back to the floor with her skirt. All of her tattoos are on display from the dragon down her chest, to the snake up her arm, and even the constellation across her back. A single piercing in her nose holds a chain that connects to her ear leaving her face free of the rest she never wears anymore. She looks clean and I'm reminded how different she is compared to four years ago.

I blink away tears as I truly take in how gorgeous she is, "You look incredible. I can't believe this day has finally come."

"Don't get me started," she takes a shaky breath to calm herself.

I always knew it would happen. I lost a little hope in high school when Michael started dating Sophia but I knew it wouldn't last. Nona is way better than that bitch. I hope she's as miserable as she made Michael, wherever she ran off to hide. I'm glad she's gone. This is where they were destined to end up.

Nona approaches me and startles me by adjusting the straps of my dress. As the cowl neckline rides lower I smack her away, "What are you doing?"

She laughs at me with a teasing glint in her eyes, "Showing the world that sunshine."

"I don't want to show the world my sunshine, especially not my parents."

I pull the shirt up, hiding the tattoo she references that originally matched hers. It was a drunken idea during a time when I felt insecure about our friendship. Nona was never one for bracelets or keychains. I figured a tattoo was more up her alley. They turned out well but she's since covered hers. I like mine, I just don't want my parents to know about it.

She furrows her brows, "They don't know yet?"

"Of course not. I don't go flaunting my tits for the world to see." Winona stops playing with the jewelry on the dresser to gasp at my words. Nona does the same as she tries to contain a laugh. I roll my eyes at both of them and lower my voice as I continue, "They'd kill me if they knew I had tattoos."

"You're so dramatic. They probably already know, your ankle's showing."

She lifts my skirt a little to show Winona the sunflower there. She stares at it in wonder before I smack Nona again, "Quit that."

Nona laughs and walks away to lift Winona into her lap, "You're an adult, you'll be fine. Now go get Alex so we can get this show on the road."

She doesn't look at me again as she shows Winona makeup in front of them. She pretends to apply it and ooh and aahs, making Winona giggle. It's cute watching them interact with one another. It's clear how close they are. They could be sisters with the love they show one another. With a sigh I turn around and head down the stairs to an empty living room.

When I hear Addison talking in the kitchen I turn around and exit the front door. There's a gate around the side that leads to the back yard. Hopefully I can find him there and avoid Addison entirely. I feel shitty thinking that way but I don't know if I can handle a one on one meeting right now. As I latch the gate back I stop when I hear another familiar voice I didn't want to hear today.

It should be a sin for one man to clean up so stunningly. Carlos is a man of many talents and apparently wearing a suit like the devil is one. As I watch him talk on the phone my chest aches at just the sight. A fucking suit. Who told him he was allowed to wear one of those?

I watch closely as he rakes a hand through his ungreased hair. He turns his face to the sky and frowns as he speaks to whoever he's on the phone with, "I don't like people taking what's mine you know. I did this for you."

He listens to what they have to say a moment and his face hardens considerably, "I told you I didn't want that."

I can hear the muffled shouts of someone on the other side of the phone. Carlos looks at the ground and takes a step forward as if he wants to hit something. His jaw tenses and loosens as he thinks of a response, "That sounds like your problem, deal with it yourself."

He hangs up and shoves the phone roughly into his pocket. When he looks up to find me eavesdropping the glare doesn't leave. I don't know if it's directed toward me or not. He turns to face me and I back into the fence ready to topple over it to get away from his anger.

"What are you doing stalking around in the shadows?"

I stutter for a response and turn my eyes anywhere but him, "I'm looking for Alex. I didn't mean to-"

"He just went inside." He narrows his eyes and takes a step closer, "If you weren't sneaking around back you would have caught him. Trying to avoid someone?"

I gulp and shake my head. I can't let him know I fought with Addison. He'd get some sort of sick kick out of it, "I-I'm actually glad I found you."

My outburst halts his steps as he appears to question his existence, "Me? What for?"

"To apologize."

This confuses him even more. If a human could short circuit he would right now. It's not just an excuse this time. He was right. I'm a fraud and I'm no better than him. I just act like it.

When I look at them they do look dirtier than the friends I surround myself with. It's not that I think they're nasty and I dislike them. I'm hesitant around them though. I'm clean. A spoiled rich girl who knows nothing of what they go through. I didn't grow up that way but I was adopted into it. At the end of the day we're both human with beating hearts pumping blood.

"I'm sorry for how I've treated you. You were right, I'm just a selfish girl who only thinks of herself." He frowns and opens his mouth to say something but I don't stop, "I don't think you're trash though. If anything... I'm intimidated by you all. You're all so amazing and you do it with so little and I just... I don't fit in with you and it makes me angry when Nona won't hangout with me anymore. I'm weak and pathetic just like you said. I just don't belong and I need to get over it."

"Kara," he sighs and takes another step forward but thinks better of it as he watches me, "I didn't mean that."

"But you did, and that's okay because it's true. I never had a hard life, nothing bad has ever really happened to me."

"No it's not," he shakes his head and finally steps toward me making sure to keep my gaze in his, "I was upset and took it out on you. That's not fair. I shouldn't have said that."

I frown when he's close enough that I can smell the mint on his breath. I sniff harder and realize that's all I smell for once. He opens it to say something else but quickly clamps down on his jaw as someone approaches. Disappointment washes over me as I turn from the conversation. Alex stops next to me with a harsh gaze.

"Where's my daughter?"

I scowl as he immediately pins me with his accusatory tone. Alex is the only normal one of us all. He's quiet, calm, and even tempered. When there's a large group it's rare to hear him say a single word. I've rarely spoken to him one on one but the rumble of his voice surprises me.

"She's still with Nona."

He barely gives me time to finish my sentence before demanding, "Let's go then."

I hesitate to move in light of his slight hostility. I glance at Carlos and wonder if it's because of him. It's not hard to discern Alex isn't very fond of him. Given Carlos' history with his sister who could really blame him. Carlos doesn't say anything as he watches to see what I'll do. A piece of me wants to stay and continue our conversation.

I shove that piece to the depths of my brain to drown as I look away and nod before moving around him to take Alex upstairs. Thoughts of bonding with Carlos should be the last thing on my mind. I apologized. That's all he needs.

)+(

September 25, 2023

Slightly behind. I was actually at a wedding this weekend myself funnily enough. Had a blast, hope you all well.

(5836)