The rest of the week continues without incident. We actually all have a good time as a family, for the first time in I don't know... forever. This baby is some sort of miracle worker. I'm wondering if I'm giving birth to some angel or perhaps a saint.

Things become less awkward between Alex and me, too. Our friendship appears to be intact, for which I'm eternally grateful. The only weirdness is that Alex has been sleeping on the couch since I have been home from the hospital, claiming he doesn't want to disrupt my sleep. I have told him it isn't necessary, but he insists. I have a gut feeling that it has more to do with our conversation, which neither of us has brought up again. 

It is now the last night before we return to school. Around two A.M. I get a terrible craving for my mom's mashed potatoes, and I know there are leftovers in the refrigerator. Since this is the baby's first official request, I give in, sneaking down the steps and tiptoeing past Alex. I flick on one of the small recessed lights with the dimmer to ensure the kitchen isn't too bright when I swear I hear Alex say my name.

"Alex, are you awake?"

I lean over the couch. Alex is tossing and turning in his sleep. He must be so uncomfortable. He has been sleeping in pajamas which my brother lent him. Since Alex has no way of knowing who will be down first in the morning, he definitely does not want any of my family members to see him in his boxers.

I come around to the other side of the couch and I recognize immediately what is happening. This isn't just about him being uncomfortable, this is him having another of his nightmares.

"Alex?"

"NO! NO... I... I..."

I see the tears streaming down his face. "Alex?" I say, trying to wake him with a gentle shake of his arm, but he's in deep.

"Alex?!"

"CAT!" Alex suddenly bolts straight up. Startled, I jump back, nearly falling over the coffee table, but Alex instinctively reaches out to grab my hand, pulling me towards him. I tumble on top of him in a heap, and I hear his breath come out in a rush.

"Cat?! Oh, thank God! You're here!" He grabs my face like he's trying to reassure himself of something and without warning I suddenly being kissed. This isn't a passionate kiss, but a kiss filled with desperation.

He pulls away and wraps his arms around me. He's holding onto me so tightly I believe he's never going to let me go. "It was only a dream. Just a dream," he whispers. I can feel his heart beating so fast, as if it's going to leap right out of his chest.

"It's only a dream," I echo. "I'm here. It's okay," I reassure him.

Alex touches his face, feeling the wetness. With a deep sigh, he wipes his tears away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I reply, sitting up next to him now that he has let me go. "You can't help it."

"I nearly knocked you over that table," Alex says in disgust.

"No, that was my clumsiness. I just got startled and forgot the table was right behind me when you yelled my name."

Alex looks away from me, but not before I see a fresh new wave of tears threatening to spill over from his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me about it, but it may help to talk," I suggest.

Alex refuses to look at me. In fact, he turns on his side, away from me. "I've been having the nightmare more often, ever since you came back from the hospital. I suspected that might be the case, which was why I'm sleeping down here. Only the dream changed tonight and instead of it being about my brother, it was about you."

"Your terrifying memory is about your brother?"

Alex just nods his head, still unwilling to look at me. "Aiden."

"What happened to him?"

"He was a victim of a senseless crime. Beaten and left for dead. By the time I got to him there wasn't anything I could do but watch him expire in my arms."

"Oh, Alex! I'm so sorry."

"What happened to him just wasn't right. The press swept it under the rug. It was a mere blip on the 11 o'clock news. There was no investigation. He was gone, his story ended," Alex continues, deep anger and profound sadness warring in his tone.

"Did the police have any leads?"

"I don't believe the police even looked for any. It's the reason I want to become a photojournalist. I want to expose what is happening. I want to make sure it never happens again."

"How old were you?" I ask.

"Nineteen."

"Nineteen? So this happened your Freshman Year of college?"

Again he nods. "I had the dream again tonight, only this time it wasn't Aiden I was holding in my arms. It was you. That's why I said your name."

"Oh..." the word comes out in a rush as I reach out and pull on his shoulder, but he resists turning around.

"Please look at me," I beg.

"You said it yourself, Cat. It's just a dream. I'll get over it."

"Fine," I say. I lie down behind him, wrapping my arm around him. There isn't much room on the couch, but I'm as close as I can get.

"What are you doing?" he asks, and I feel his body stiffen as I snuggle in closer.

"I promised," I tell him. He sighs and rolls over. We are practically nose-to-nose.

"Please don't pity me, Cat. I don't want your pity."

It bristles me as he thinks I'd only do this because I feel sorry for him. I can't stand to see him in pain and knowing I'm the cause. I just want to help, but he's being so difficult.

"What do you want then?" I challenge and immediately realize my mistake, as the recognition of what he wants instantly shines undeniably in his eyes.

He doesn't allow me to say another thing, choosing to answer me with action instead of words. His hand reaches up and delves into my hair, pulling me towards him. He claims my lips with a kiss that holds so much promise. It's gentle, sweet and kind. 

He's holding back. I can feel it and it annoys me because I don't want him to, not anymore. I want to know what simmers beneath the surface, even if it means getting burned.

I close my eyes, sighing in surrender. He knows he's won because he doesn't hesitate, wrapping an arm and a leg around me to pull me in even closer. His kiss now far more insistent, although tortuously slow.

I want more and I go for what I want. I deepen the kiss with no idea of what I am about to unleash. He returns my kiss with a passion for which I'm totally unprepared. Overwhelmed, I push away slightly. He immediately stops.

My breathing is heavy, but the moment his lips leave mine, I promptly miss them and instantly reclaim them. He moves from my lips to my neck and back to my lips, driving me absolutely crazy.

"Alex." His name comes out as an urgent murmur. He smiles against my lips.

"I want you," he whispers against my ear, his words causing a shiver to course down my spine. He laughs softly while nuzzling my neck. He then pulls back from me so he can look into my eyes.

"I have wanted you for some time now. It's been pure torture to be so close to you and to have to hold back. Dillion, William, they all warned me not press."

William! At the mention of his name, I scramble to sit up, and Alex slowly rises with me.

"What is it?" he asks.

"I can't do this. I want to. God help me I so want to but..."

"But?" Alex says patiently, waiting for me to explain myself.

"You love William."

"Yes, and so do you. Why is that a problem?" he asks in confusion.

"Because I don't want to hurt him or you. Because you're... you know... gay."

Alex's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "Come again?"

"You and Willam have a real shot at happiness, and I don't want to be the reason that gets screwed up."

"I'm gay?!" he asks with utter disbelief. I move to sit on the coffee table so I can sit across from him, wondering what I am missing.

"Yes. I know you never actually came out to me, but Alex... Come on," I say.

He rubs his hand over his face. "Wow!" He opens his mouth to say something and then snaps it shut. After a moment, he opens his mouth and again the only thing that comes out is, "Wow!"

"What?!" I say in sheer exasperation.

Leaning in, looking at me like I've clearly lost my mind, he slowly enunciates "I'm NOT gay." Then he pulls back like he's waiting for something.

I stare at him for a second or two. "What do you mean you're not gay? Okay, maybe gay isn't the right terminology. Since you're capable of kissing me like you did a few seconds ago, you're obviously Bi, but that doesn't change things."

"Bi she says! You think I'm bisexual? Cat..." he moves up to the edge of the couch cushions and puts his hands on my knees, looking me dead in the eye. "I know I'm no Casanova. My experience with women is well... limited but how... why... whatever would lead you to believe I'm gay/bi... whichever?"

I'm staring at him as the realization sinks in. "You're not gay?"

His eyebrow raises, and he is shaking his head no.

I feel the tension in my face as my brows furrow. "When we first met, you made a comment about how you hate when a straight guy wears an 'I'm Gay' shirt."

"I can't believe you remember that, but Cat, that hardly..."

I cut him off. "Then you said you loved William."

"I do love William. He's family to me, Cat. He's like my adopted brother."

"So you're not IN love with him?"

Again, Alex just shakes his head.

"But you slept with him?"

"What?!"

"I heard you in the background asking William if he was going to stay in bed all day when I called to check up on him after he didn't come to class. You know, that night you didn't come back home. Then in the car on the way to the bookstore, you said everything you knew about being gay you learned from him."

Alex runs a hand over his face again. "Good Lord, when I give a girl the wrong impression," he says with a note of despair.

"I went over there early that morning before you woke up because I was worried about William and I found him still in bed. He should have been up for classes hours ago. And that other thing I said in the car about William teaching me everything I know merely meant him showing me the ropes around the gay community, not sleeping with him!"

"Okay, then explain the pictures in your apartment of you in those... outfits." 

Alex stares at me, then falls back against the couch, covering his eyes with his hands. "The pictures," is all he says.

"Yes, the pictures. I noticed you took them down when we invited William over for dinner, but Alex, really, no straight man dresses that way."

He laughs without mirth. "Oh my God, the pictures. It all makes sense now." He pulls his hands away from his face and sighs.

"This isn't your fault, Cat. It's mine. Those pictures," he laughs again, still in disbelief at my statements. "Those pictures are of my brother. He's my identical twin."

"Your twin? You have a twin brother?"

"Had," he sobers up when he corrects me and I remember what he told me about his dream/memory of his brother Aiden. His brother was beaten and killed.

"Oh, Alex. I'm so sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. You're right. I've really neglected to tell you about myself. It's just the memory of my brother is simply too painful. I try to avoid talking about him at all costs. Had I known the price I was paying for my silence was inadvertently pushing you away, I would have told you so much sooner. I took those pictures down because I know that it would have hurt William to see them."

"William, why?" I ask.

"Because he was in a relationship with my brother. They had been in love with one another since they were in high school. When my brother came out to my parents, they threw him out of the house. I already registered for college, so I talked him into getting the apartment with me off campus. That's why I have a sofa bed, so we each had a place to sleep."

"That's why William was so lost when I came across him, because of Aiden?"

"That's right," Alex confirms. "I seriously thought I was going to lose them both. Without Aiden, William just wanted to die but then he met you. I never knew what turned him around. You were his most well-guarded secret, but I guess when you were in trouble he thought who better to watch over you than me."

"I have to say, I'm glad he did," I acknowledge shyly.

Alex smiles at me. "Me too, but he's been warning me not to go too fast. I've had to hear repeatedly how much in love you are... or were with Liam and that he didn't want to see either of us getting hurt. So he said not to make a move until I was absolutely certain you returned my feelings."

"And I've been doing nothing but giving you crazy mixed up, no more truthfully, messed up signals."

"Yeah, but now it all makes sense. You thought I was gay. You thought I was in love with William and you didn't want to hurt him, but I assure you with all certainty, I am NOT gay."

"Well, I can definitively say Liam and I are over."

Alex moves back to the edge of his seat. "You are?"

"We talked things over in the hospital. He will most likely always be a part of my life, Alex. This baby connects us, and I would never keep Liam from seeing his own child, but I told him I want more."

"You did?"

I nod my head as this well of happiness comes bubbling up inside of me.

He reaches out, pulling both the coffee table and me over to him. He has that look, the one that I remember from my dreams. The one that I still can't fully describe, but that makes me feel so wanted, desired ... loved.

"So, Cat Fischer, you say you want more. Tell me, exactly. What do you want?"

A smile slowly spread across my lips as I move to sit in Alex's lap. I wrap my arms around his neck. "I want you, Alex Bragin."

He kisses my lips, "and more?"

I kiss him right back. "So much more," and soon we are back right where we left off, but then my stomach growls and I giggle.

"But right now I want...?"

"Yeah?" Alex asks, impatiently.

"Mashed potatoes," I blurt out, jumping up and pulling Alex with me towards the kitchen.

"Mashed potatoes? Now? Cat, you're killing me."

"Sorry, the baby has spoken. And I will not deny her."

"Sounds like she takes after her mom."

"Let's hope so," I say, grinning.