When one person leaves, love dies out over time. Although it still smoulders in our memory, with time it gives way to another feelings, restoring peace to our soul.
But rejection hurts differently. When the person we love with all our strength is at our fingertips, and yet we cannot reach them. When we see only the pain in their eyes, and we know, we would do anything to ease it, when they are taking away the hands that we would like to hold instead. It is, as if we were watching our chance die in front of our eyes, standing defenceless, with our wings cut.

This is how Jungkook felt. As if someone had cut off the wings, that made him free and happy, even if just for a moment.
After your last conversation, he didn't try anymore. Not for a meeting, not even a phone call. He respected your wish. Your words buzzed in his mind, when you said, that you cannot stand to see his face, that if he still has hope, he will end up alone.
It wasn't loneliness, that he feared the most, but the world without you.

Before your last conversation, he was a wreck of a man. He suffered, being blind to everything except his feelings for you. He didn't sleep, didn't eat, and overworked himself, until he finally collapsed on the stage, making the entire fandom tremble with fear.
He didn't want to repeat that anymore. He wanted to work out some kind of system, that would allow him to function normally, even though his heart was still in shreds.
The rest of the team tried to support him every day and he didn't want to disappoint them. He also didn't want to hear their wailing all the time, so he decided to find some escape.
He chose music.

He lost himself completely. His broken heart gave him not only pain, but inspiration as well. In recent months, he wrote many new lyrics, which were willingly accepted by the label. They were mostly songs full of pain, longing and love, but it was undeniable, that they were beautiful. You can say, that he prepared a lot of background for a solo album, but he put these songs in a drawer for now, because he didn't want to detach himself from the band too much. You could hear a lot of emotions in his voice, in fact it's probably the only positive thing that came from your breakup.

The rest of the members for a moment fell into this illusion, that time is slowly healing him from all these wounds. He was more active, ate regularly, slept normally, and did not overstrain himself. In addition, he finally participated in their life together - programs, photo sessions, games and private outings. He dumbfounded them by the normality he had forced himself to do.
After all, there was finally a day, when they thought, that he had already forgotten about you.

And then it was time for another event.
They were invited to play a Chuseok celebration concert.
The concert was broadcast live on TV. Although you haven't been to any of their concert since that terrible one, where you found out about everything, you wanted to see this one on TV. You felt safe just in front of the screen, away from him, watching him through the glass.

Jungkook sang his new song. It was all for you. You knew it, even if he didn't say it at the beginning.

When you opened the door, I flew out like a bird

Who has been held captive for all these years

Grateful for the mercy, I was always coming back

Blindly, constantly drawn to your hands

And even if you would lock me again

I would call it a home, even if it's a cage

For the feelings to you I was already a slave

So when you'd open the window one day

Set me free, ask me to fly from people away

Remember, that a ring around bird's leg

Reminds them, that once they belong to them.

The song was played at the concert for the first time. The ARMY listened enchanted, surprised, that everything was kept secret. Some of them talked to each other, assuming that Jungkook must have fallen in love, some thought it was just another beautiful song with no subtext.
But when the music stopped, it kind of became clear. Jungkook took a few steps forward as the rest of the team exchanged surprised glances.

"This song was for someone special. Someone who changed my life, someone who became my life. Someone who constantly teaches me how to be patient."

Namjoon didn't know, what was happening for a moment. All the speeches were prepared in advance, there was no indication, that the maknae would jump out of nowhere with his dedications. But did that mean he hadn't cured himself at all?

Hoseok was grinning from ear to ear. He liked you from the beginning. You were beautiful, innocent, ignorant, and still just in love. Plus you made Jungkook happy. For this, Hobi was very grateful. Even though he didn't get too close to you himself, he hoped, that all was not lost yet. He felt you would be great friends. So when it turned out, that Jungkook hadn't given up on you, the stone fell from his heart. He promised himself on this stage, that he will always support you.
He felt destiny got its fingers in your relationship. In a way, he felt, that he was somehow needed in all of this.

Min Yoongi paraded with as much smirk as he could. The drama unfolding before his eyes was exactly what he needed now. Finally something happened, finally someone started to break the patterns and did something completely their own way. He didn't know, that JK was planning something in his young head, he would probably help him tho. He liked you, you were like his little sister. Maybe he didn't manage to convince you to give him a second chance, but this conversation gave Jungkook the strength to fight, so Yoongi felt like a winner anyway.

Even though Jungkook just dedicated a song to someone close to him, fans could see the pain in his eyes. He looked broken-hearted, and it didn't take a lot, to figure out the obvious.
You saw it too, and tears ran down your cheeks.
You watched the concert and listened to every word. No matter how many times he appeared on the screen you wanted to touch him. You had the impression, that if he showed up at your door now, you would forgive him everything.
Mixed feelings were eating you alive. On the one hand, you felt hurt, but on the other hand, you felt, that being away from him was hurting you even more.
You were hoping, that time will fix everything. That by doing nothing, you would let destiny play its cards.

After the concert it was clear to everyone, that Jungkook still felt something for you. Well, maybe even the feeling was stronger than before.
Each of them wondered what exactly they should say now.
They themselves were not sure which words would be appropriate. Would it be better to encourage or dissuade him? Comfort or bring him down to earth.

Namjoon spoke first, after a long and awkward silence.
"You know, maknae... you have to move on. Living with hope is not life. You don't have to keep struggling, you don't have to suffer like this. Everything will somehow ... work out. I think you should just close this chapter."

Hoseok was immediately indignant. He huffed loudly.
"What a bullshit, RM! Kook should keep on fighting, not giving up just keep going like he is doing now. She is worth all the effort. You must be blind not to notice it."

"For me, only his well-being is important, his health, both physical and mental. And I don't think their relationship would be healthy. If it were ... he wouldn't be in such a mess now. We should only think about him."

"I think about him, that's why I think he shouldn't give up. She makes him happy. Thanks to her, his eyes shine. Even the pain she caused him inspired him. I don't want to sound crazy, but everything this girl touches it is like a new life for him. " He looked at Jungkook and smiled softly.
"I will always be on your side Jungkookaah."

JK smiled back, grateful for that assurance. But he himself was sick to the fact, that everyone around him was talking about you. That your topic does not leave their mouths. Constant comfort, or dissuasion... saying that everything will be fine, or that you are a poison for him, that he must forget about you, or, however, fight for you ... he felt tired and irritated. In a time when he only needed a little silence and solitude, he was surrounded by six of them, each of whom literally had something different to say. They hadn't even let him say one word properly, they were always trying to be smarter, he couldn't hear his own thoughts.

"I'm glad you're trying to fix me, but I'm not broken. I just made one bad move, and now I'm going to correct it. And I'm going to do it all by myself.
He got into the car and the driver just took him home. Although he did not return there as happy as always when he knew you were next to him. Now this place seemed so empty and quiet. Without a soul.

You also decided that day, that it is enough. No more escaping. This all happened and there was no turning back. You lived with Sang-Hee long enough. You were an adult, you had to deal with the consequences of your choices, decisions. Although you were afraid of what your meeting will look like now, the awareness, that he would be so close to you, already was killing you ... But you can't run away from him your whole life.
You packed your suitcase, said goodbye to your friend and got into the taxi, with a heavy heart.
The driver took you home. But was it really a home?

When you stood in front of the main entrance, you felt exactly the same as that day when you first got off in Seoul. You felt just as lonely, everything was just as uncertain.
You felt strange. Although so much time has passed.
You entered the building and went to your floor.
With all your strength, you tried not to knock too loudly with heels. You knew, that they just finished the concert so the chance that he would be at home was small, but why to tempt fate? The more that fate has already laughed at you.

Jungkook was lying on the couch. He had his eyes closed and simply enjoyed the absolute silence. He lacked this, and especially after the concert, when his ears were still tired of noise.
But the sound, that just reached him was the sweetest of the sounds. He opened his eyes immediately and ran to the door.
He would recognize the knocking of these heels everywhere.
"She came back?" He whispered to himself in disbelief, and his heart jumped to his throat. He didn't even think what he is doing, he just opened the door wide, making you freeze like a statue in surprise.

"YN?"

You shuddered under his voice. It was like a melody, which you forgot, and which you heard after many years again - bringing all happiness again.
You slowly turned your head towards him and dared to look at him.

A sheepish smile was painted on his face. He had a messy hair and played with his own fingers like a little boy. You saw him for the first time right after the concert. He looked tired. Disguised in ordinary sports clothes, looked so mundane. It was hard to believe, that he was someone completely different just few hours ago.
But his sudden opening of the door and inviting gesture surprised you a lot.

"What the fuck, Jeon?"

Jungkook laughed quietly. For a moment it looked like nothing bad happened. As if you never went through this crisis, like you both were still a happy, cute couple.
You got scared. Is this a denial? Or maybe something serious happened with his mental health? Scared of both options, you decided to come in for a moment and for your own peace to exchange a few words with him.
You sat in front of him, feeling his gaze on you. You tried to escape his stare, just in case to not fall for him again. You knew it's a thin ice and if it will break, then he would be able to do to you whatever he would like to. And that you wouldn't be able to resist him anymore.

"You don't even know, how happy I am, that you decided to come back home. This building was so empty without you. I didn't even want to come back here. I missed you."

His words surprised you a lot. It really had to be a denial. Because what else could make him behave as if nothing had ever happened? Or maybe he lost his short -term memory?
"Umm ... Jungkook?" You started cautiously, gulping loudly. He was still staring at you, waiting for your every word. "You remember what I said to you lately, right?" You asked hoping, that this is nothing serious and that there is a logical explanation for it.

"Of course I remember" he answered calmly, making you feel relief. Although you still haven't understood what game he was playing now.
"You rejected me. And I completely understand you, only ..." you held your breath for a moment. "How to say ... I kinda didn't accept it. I just couldn't erase you from my head."

Oh, if only he knew, he engraved himself in you like a tattoo, that you cannot get rid of. That no matter how many times you tried, you couldn't stop thinking about him or desire him. But you couldn't tell him. You didn't want to fall into this shit again. You hoped, that time would erase everything and that you are on the right track, for this to finally happen.
"It would be better for both of us if you would finally give up on us."

There was not even single emotion painted on his face. He listened carefully, but he didn't show anything, what would help you to read his feelings. It irritated you. It was easier to read his feelings on TV than when you had him right in front of you. He sighed quietly.
"Oh, I tried. And since it didn't work, I decided to fight for us instead. I will make it work. I will make you fall in love with me again."

He reached for the cookie and started munching it happily in front of you. And you looked at him in terror. It was not the same Koo.

He looked ... as if he didn't feel anything anymore. Not only love, but also pain. Deprived of the feelings like someone just ripped his heart out and he would still exist without him. Did you do this to him? Tears filled your eyes.

"I know you don't believe me now, or you don't take it seriously ..." he continued. "I can't blame you for that, of course. So just wait patiently and I'll prove it all to you."

You had enough. You didn't want to cry in front of him. You gathered up all the strength you had to make one short sentence out of you.
"I ... I have to go." and you ran out of there. You just wanted to be safe at home, close the door behind you, and cry properly.

"Run, run..." he laughed. "I know where to find you."