An excerpt from "Ten Keepers: The Parody", a cracked retelling of the original Ten Keepers series.

Skip to the ***** to jump straight to the Four Fallen appearance.

— — —

"Kids!" Olvan greeted, albeit enthusiastically.

Cricket noises followed.

"Heyyyy Olvan," Ella piped up for them instead, "Everyone's so glad to see you again, isn't that right guys?"

"Dude, stop treating us like kids," Jef complained, whining like a kid, "We're like eleven!"

"Sorry! Sorry, it's just-" Olvan sniffled, "You guys all grow up so fast!"

"For Briggan's sake you only met us yesterday," John muttered.

"Anyway, enough about me," Olvan cleared his throat before straightening up. "Let's talk about business so we can move this plot along. Lenori had a dream-"

"Was it a nice dream?" Jef asked.

"It was a prophetic dream," Olvan responded.

Jef furrowed his eyebrows, "So... it was a nice dream?"

"No. It was prophetic."

A pause.

"Okaaaaaaay..." Jef trailed off into silence.

"Ten kids will summon specific spirit animals, conveniently around the same time in which we would conveniently be present to witness," Olvan continued. "They will be known as the Ten Keepers, destined to free those who are captured."

"Sounds straight out of a book," Riley piped up.

John snorted. "Tell me about it."

"What do you mean by free those who are captured?" Irene asked.

Olvan sighed deeply, and in a super serious matter. "We believe... there is a second Devourer."

Silence.

"Like... Devourer the second."

More silence.

"Um, Crocodile King? Major Erdas-wide war?" The kids looked at him blankly. "Do you not know your history?"

"We know all about the Devourer," Irene responded, "What's that got to do with, um, freeing those who are captured?"

"...A long time ago, there was another continent called Stetriol..."

"Briggan almighty," John groaned in impatience.

Olvan snapped. "Well, if you know your history so well then why don't you just go ahead and recite it!"

"Stetriol sided with Kovo and Gerathon, who had an infamous leader called the Devourer, they mustered an army of Marked people with some voodoo nectar called the bile, and they were basically branded the villains of the story. Or so that's what history tells us, which was conveniently written by the Greencloaks," Eilene spoke, giving Olvan a look.

Jef gasped. "What happened next?!"

Eilene continued. "The Four Fallen stepped in and saved the day. Oh and the Greencloaks were there too, I guess. No idea what they did exactly, besides rewrite history as the victors and become the United Nations of Erdas and all that."

"How do you just... know all that?" John asked.

"Spirit animals wiki," Eilene deadpanned.

Olvan scoffed. "You kids should know better than to trust unreliable sources-"

"Can we just get to the point about the 'freeing those that were captured' part?" Irene interrupted. "What does that even mean?"

"There is a second Devourer," Olvan continued, "They're after the talismans so they can free Kovo and Gerathon. Zhong has already fallen to the Conquerors and to be very frank with you, it's REALLY not looking good."

"You could say that again," Riley mumbled.

"You still haven't answered my question," Irene quietly whined.

*****

"Luckily, the Four Fallen has returned as spirit animals and we've managed to get the Granite Ram before the Conquerors did!" Olvan happily announced, clasping his hands.

There was silence.

Olvan cleared his throat, "I SAID that the Four Fallen has returned as spirit animals!"

More silence. Everyone glanced at each other in confusion.

Olvan sighed, before yelling," The FOUR FALLEN-"

The door to the office bursts open on cue and lo' and behold, the Four Fallen and their human partners stand at the threshold in all their glory!

"Sorry," the one with the wolf sheepishly called out. "We had a bit of trouble hearing you from outside."

"Were you guys just waiting out there the entire time?" Zoron asked.

"Yup."

"This is Rollan, summoner of Essix," Olvan waved at each of them, "Meilin, summoner of Jhi, Abeke, summoner of Uraza, and Conor, summoner of Briggan."

"You guys hear that?" Rollan grinned at the other three, "He introduced me first."

"And?" Meilin deadpanned.

Rollan shrugged, undeterred. "Just putting it out there right now."

"Sooooo, what brings you guys here?" Abeke asked, albeit awkwardly, "This is quite the crowd for a small room..."

"For real, I can smell the sweat," Ella mumbled.

"Uh, hAh! Sorry about that," Eric piped up, "Haven't showered yet."

"Dude same!" Jef cheered.

Zoey groaned. "TMI guys."

"For the plot's sake, we're the Ten Keepers, destined to 'free those who are captured' and whatnot," John exclaimed. "Any of you four know what that means?"

Rollan shrugged, "Honestly man, I'm just rolling with it at this point."

"Fair enough."

"Anyways!" Olvan interrupted, "Abeke has something very important to say."

"Oh! Uh..." Abeke looked visibly confused. "Hi, I'm Abeke. I'm from Nilo-"

"I think Olvan meant the plot-related thing you saw," Conor whispered.

"Oh! Conquerors drank this voodoo nectar that turned a happy-go-lucky dog into an angry-at-the-world dog. It basically forces a bond between the human and the animal, but the human has total control over them. Real bad stuff."

"Not only that!" Olvan took over, "There are sightings of huge, feral beasts wearing the talismans. We believe that wearing those talismans have turned them into... huge feral beasts. Which I've already said, so now I feel kind of awkward."

"Okay so, maybe you should finally get to the part about the 'freeing those that are captured' bit," Irene suggested, with a fake grin.

"Right! The Ten Keepers' jobs are to free such feral beasts and retrieve the talismans that they, somehow, ended up wearing," Olvan concluded.

"Finally!" Irene cried.

"The Four Fallen and their humans are gonna find the rest of the talismans that are actually with the Great Beasts," Olvan added.

"But we get a break first, right?" Rollan asked.

"...fine."

"Yus."

"Lenori had a vision about the Marble Swan, so that's our first quest!" Ella announced with enthusiasm.

Eric raised an eyebrow, "I think that was my line."

"Too bad."

"Do we get a break too?" John asked.

Olvan laughed outloud, "A break? Hah! That's really funny."

"Favoritism much?" Eilene mumbled.

"Well, have fun you ten!" Olvan cheered, waving them out, "Oh, and make sure to stay safe too!"

— — —

And as Olvan said, I hope y'all stayed safe throughout this, um, nightmare. Heh.

Like the bored soul that I am, who felt like inconsistently writing again, I decided to make a cracked parody of the Ten Keepers series. The updates ARE inconsistent however (cuz I cant promise anything) but 4 chapters are already up, as of when I've updated this part.

Am I planning to write anymore spirit animals content? I have ideas, but no promises unfortunately.

I hope you enjoyed this spontaneous update nonetheless!