"Ladies and gentlemen! How are yalls todayyy?! Tonight is a special night because we are bringing to you our very brand new dancer, JoJoBoy!!!"

Aku pun naik ke pentas dan memulakan langkah tarianku. Semua orang mula bersorak and I live for it. After all this time, I got the spotlight (roll credit!).

Saat aku carikkan saja kemeja aku, muka aku lemas sekejap dengan duit yang ditabur oleh penonton-penonton dan pelanggan Les Mecs. Damn, ada beribu duit aku malam ini.

Cuma semasa aku menari itu, aku rasa aku ternampak seseorang dalam silau lampu neon. Danny. Dia duduk saja di meja paling dekat dengan pentas itu memandang ke arah aku.

Langkahku mula canggung tapi as professional as I am, aku berjaya mengawalnya. Tapi ada masanya, mata aku tak mampu mengelak dari terus memandangnya. Ada tiga penari lain tapi dia langsung tak mengalihkan pandangannya. Aku pula naik gemuruh melihatnya begitu.

Habis sahaja persembahanku, aku nampak dia bangun dan pergi dari situ. Aku pun dengan gelabahnya terus pergi ke belakang stage dan cuba bertenang.

"Nyah!" Mandy menegur aku secara tiba-tiba membuatkan aku hampir tertumbuk muka dia. "Nok, kau memang lubuk duit! Jarang tau weekdays macam ni pun boleh ramai orang tau."

Selepas melihat Danny tadi, aku tak kisah dah tentang sesiapa yang datang. Aku merasakan ada rama-rama dalam perut aku ketika itu.

Aku kemudiannya didatangi oleh Syahid dengan muka yang bangga. Dia menepuk bahu aku dan mencium pipiku sekali laju.

"Good job! I know you are great. It just, you never got exposed to this kind of world."

"Thanks for having faith in me. I really appreciate that."

"I always do. Pergilah kat bar. My treat. Cakap je kat barista tu whatever you want."

Aku sekadar mengangguk. Kemudian aku pun pergi ke bar dan memesan segelas Singapore Sling. Aku duduk di bar itu dan meneguk koktel yang dipesan tadi.

Aku cuba mengingat kembali lelaki tadi. Kalau dari muka, ya itu muka Danny. Aku tak pernah jumpa lagi muka yang sama dengan muka yang diinsuranskannya itu. Jadi pasti itu dia.

Tapi kenapa dia datang dan siapa yang beritahu dia? Kenapa orang itu sangat tidak bertanggungjawab? Tak guna betul!

Aku terasa bahuku disentuh oleh seseorang. Aku menoleh dan aku tak terkejut apabila aku mendapati ianya adalah Danny. I mean, aku lebih terkejut kalau ianya bukan Danny. Cumanya, kali ini dia memakai cermin mata.

"Hi..." Aku mengucapkan padanya. Dia menjongket kening. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for someone."

"Well, I don't want to see you."

"Bold of you to assume I'm here to see you."

"Well, you were in the front row and you were looking at me all the time."

Dia ketawa kecil. "Welp, guilty as charged."

"So yeah, why are you here? Is that someone is me?"

"Yes. I came here to see your Michelle Pfeiffer's Catwoman-like drastic changes which I believe you made just to annoy the shit out of me and try to show that you are superior." Kemudian dia memandang aku atas bawah. "To which may I say, you looked dreadful."

Aku sudah berdiri hendak melawan dia tapi pantas Mandy datang ke arah kami dan menegur Danny.

"OMG!!! Danny Aduka datang Les Mecs uolls!!!"

"Hai, Mandy. Lama tak jumpa kan?"

"Yelah, nyah! Kau tu yang lama tak nampak batang hidung. Pergi mana, nyah?!"

"Ada jelah, Mandy. Cuma tak sempat nak datang sini. Kau kan follow IG aku. Tengoklah update aku situ."

Aku duduk semula membiarkan mereka berbual. Aku teguk Singapore Sling aku tapi sensasinya langsung tak dapat aku nikmati thanks to Danny.

Kenapa dia datang? Kenapa dia mesti datang? Kenapa dia mesti ada lagi dalam hidup aku?

"Mandy, aku nak sewa someone malam ni?" Aku terdengar suara Danny berkata.

"Uuu, pilihlah nyah. Banyak daging baru mentah malam ni. Kau pilih je kau nak siapa?"

"For sure, aku nak yang tengah famous malam ni. Siapa nama dia? JoJoBoy?"

Aku hilang pedoman. Aku terus bangun berdiri dan memandang wajahnya yang nampaknya masih tenang itu.

"Kau ingat aku apa? Pelacur?!"

"Well, you just stripped in front of everyone just now so isn't that made you one?"

Aku mula membara.

"Yang itu..." Mandy mencelah. "Kena tanya Syah. SYAH!!!"

Syahid muncul dari kerumunan orang ramai. Nampak saja Danny, dia tersenyum kecil.

"Ya, kenapa, Mandy?"

"Your client nak sewa JoJoBoy? Berapa kau nak bagi?"

Aku tahu Syahid takkan mengkhianati aku. Dia bukannya seperti...

"Ikut jam ke the whole night?" WHAT THE FUCK?!

"I have to pay to fuck my own boyfriend?"

"He told me he's single."

Danny menarik nafas sambil memandang wajah aku. Aku menunduk ke lantai.

"The whole night. How much?"

"Since he's new, RM1000."

Danny mengeluarkan walletnya dan menyuakan RM1000 cash kepada Syahid. He's so rich he has that much amount in his wallet.

Syahid tersenyum kepada aku sebelum menyuruh aku mengikut Danny.

"Syahid, the fuck?"

"This is business, Jonathan. Yesterday, you are my acquaintance. Tonight you are my employee."

He's right. He's damn right!

"Danny, bilik 8, tingkat atas."

Danny terus menarik aku ke bilik yang dimaksudkan dan setibanya di bilik itu, aku merentap tanganku dari pegangannya.

"Wow! You really made me feel like a whore tonight. Thank you for that."

Dia menolak aku ke dinding dan menahannya dengan tangannya. "Is that me the one who force you to do all this?! Was that me the one yang suruh kau cat rambut kau ni semua?! I was nothing but trying to be the one for you but you never give me a space to do anything about it!"

"Oh really?! So you are admitting that I'm a whore now? Sorry I wasn't born in a rich family. Sorry I wasn't born naturally handsome that I can do modelling so I can pay a prostitute RM1000 in cash. Sorry I can't be that, Danny!"

"And now what? Since when are we competing against each other?! Since when all that matters to you?!"

"Because we are not meant to be with each other! You got the spotlight all the time and all I got is just these neon lights and people throwing money at me because I stripped myself. Even you looked down on me for doing that!"

"Because I care for you! Because I don't want you to repeat my mistake. Now tell me is this because of Aiman you did all this?!"

Aku menolaknya dan duduk di atas katil. Mataku masih memandang tepat wajahnya.

"CAKAPLAH! If it yes, then fuck it! I was trying to tell you about that night, Jonathan. I was molested. The sex wasn't consensual. I didn't give my consent for it to happen. I was drunk and he did that to me. I wasn't thinking nor do I even remember what was I doing. Aku tak nak bagitau kau sebab aku tak nak kau went batshit macam what happened last few nights!"

"As if hiding it gonna make me feel better? Even if you tell me the day after pun I still gonna listen to you. Aku tak suka when I have to hear it from someone else and even plus, in fromt of everyone. I feel humiliated, Danny, as if you even care."

"Yes the hell I care. What you want me to do then? I was raped and I got no backups from anyone and even worse, you left me. I don't blame you for this, Jonathan. I got that you're grieving but don't tell me I don't care about what you feel. I care for you all time."

Aku mengalirkan air mata. Dia kemudiannya duduk di sebelah aku dan memeluk erat tubuhku. Aku tak terdaya untuk menolaknya.

"Danny, has it ever come to your attention that I am tired with all of this? I just want to love you without having to face all the crazies in your life. I just want to live my life happily with you by my side. Is that too much to ask?"

"Jonathan, don't say that. I'm sorry for all of this. Yes, I got a long list of ex-lovers that'll tell you I'm insane. Taylor Swift quoted that right for my life."

Kemudian dia menolak rambutku ke belakang. "And I'm more than will to take all the blame you want to give at me."

"Truth is, I never blame you. I blame myself for actually believe that we have a chance. If there's one to blame, it's me. Things wouldn't be this fucked up if I know my worth instead of aiming too high for the moon. I didn't even land on the stars now."

"Jonathan..."

"Aiman was right. We are two worlds apart. We have no choice but to admit it. So please..." Aku memandangnya. "Maybe we are just a perfect couple in a bad situation. Let me go!"

"But I love you, Jonathan."

"As if I don't? I love you too. Just, we are not for each other, okay. Aku tak nak kerana aku, benda akan jadi lagi teruk."

"We can give a try, right?"

"And risk my heart once more? And get to the point we are gonna hate each other? Is that what you want, Daniel?"

Dia terdiam. Aku tak salahkan dia. Aku juga tak tahu apa hala tuju hubungan ini.

"Aku tak sanggup dimalukan lagi, Danny. Aku mungkin miskin tapi aku ada maruah. You can say that Aiman memang mulut dia jahat and you can shut his mouth but the one who have to hear all that accusations is me and I hate it. Aku tak suka! Now, with a very little pride left in me, lepaskan aku. If ada cerita kita ni punya sambungan, kita akan bersama jugak."

Kami berdua mengalirkan air mata dan memandang ke dalam mata satu sama lain. Perpisahan yang masih mempunyai pengharapan. Mungkin?
-------------

Damn, a roller coaster here for yalls hahhahahaha. Tak nak cakap banyak, 65 votes je hehe...

Also, I believe this is more to drama rather than BL and IDK if yalls like it or not? I hope yalls like it hehe...

Oh ya, jangan risau. Story ni panjang lagi. Mungkin lebih daripada Razif Haydar...