Wendy Testaburger marched into the cafeteria with her cronies from the Vegan Poets Society. All of them wore plain tops with the planet Earth on their chests. Stan, HER STAN, called May Maple cute. Stamping harder with each footstep, she got closer to May, she imagined a 100 ways to humiliate her. How dare May wear red or look sexy!

Wendy wanted to cry as May downed her strawberry milkshake. 'Murderer!' Wendy hissed to herself. What an animal rapist worshipper!

"Right May, we need to talk!" Wendy screamed.

May shrugged her shoulders. "What's up?"

"You stole my man."

May pondered for a moment. "I don't understand."

Wendy slapped her. "I don't like the way you excite Stan with your milk sucking anarchy. Dairy is rape and murder."

Vicky Pollard was minding her own business, brushing off the advances of other male students. Then Wendy's attack on May caught her attention. She ran to the two girls to have her say. "What do you think you're doing?" Vicky asked Wendy. "That is well out of order!"

"Stop getting involved!" Wendy yelled. Her eyes darted a fiery stare at Vicky.

Vicky huffed, then crossed her arms. "I'm Vicky Pollard, you don't tell me what to do! You're just jealous cause May is a prefect, and she's having more sex than you."

"I am fighting for my man!" Wendy growled, punching Vicky's stomach, which only caused a sharp pain in Wendy's whole hand. "May is a slut for taking my man!"

"Oh my God, I so can't believe you just said that," Vicky exclaimed. "May would never do that. And anyway, Stan ain't your man. He ain't your property or something or nothing. And if anyone is trying to steal your man it's Kari. No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, cause Kari will get off with anyone just to make Davis jealous."

Wendy gazed at Vicky for a second, as one by one, Wendy's gang began to separate. "What are you talking about?"

"Well there was this whole thing thst just happened," Vicky explained, stubbing out her cigarette. "Because you know the Waterflower sisters. Well, I completely hate them, cause they're all bitches, apart of Misty in our class. Daisy Waterflower, the one that's going out with Tracey Sketchit and had 10 kids with him, but none of the, were his cause she opened her legs to everybody. Then Violet and Lily have been going around saying that Misty sucked Gary Oak's cock to make Ash notice her. Which is like well untrue. Misty would so never do that." Vicky's voice dropped into a whisper. "It was actually me. Gary has a huge disco stick!"

"What's this got to do with Stan?" Wendy shrieked.

"I'M GETTING THERE!" Vicky snapped back. "Cause Shin-Chan and Brock made a bet that neither of them can have anything to eat unless they can kiss someone with their consent. Anyway don't listen to them cause they were on Jerry Springer."

"Go away!" Wendy turned her back on Vicky, only to get bumped into by Ash Ketchum with a KFC bargain bucket. "Hey everyone look at me with my big juicy chicken drums." Without a shame in the world, Ash waved the chicken drum legs around amd hovered it over his crotch. "Hey I'm gonna feed Stan some KFC, you vegan police better come and stop me."

Eric Cartman stood and observed him before he spoke to Ash. "Ash, you are a racist-papist-rapist-misogynist-chicken-corpse-grinder-KKK-member-with-a-crucifix-up-your-ass."

Stan finally had a word to say. "What the fuck just happened?"