I am now a big fan of NF! I love his songs, especially this one. Paralyzed. If you listen to NF, what's your favorite song? Mines 'Wait'
Also, I hope all of my rebel friends have a wonderful Christmas. I am planning on making a Kanan and Ezra Christmas one, hopefully soon. Have fun reading!
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Ezra was outside on Lothal, in the tall grass, hiding. He wanted to be alone...
He felt as if his life was frozen...numb. Him and Kanan have been very distance with each other for the pass two months now. They had a big argument and never spoke after that. Hera tried to get Kanan to talk back to the teen, but he would only make it worse.
Ezra couldn't handle himself anymore as it is. Darkness, loneliness crept into his mind, wanting to be alone more. Hera worried for the both but...what could she do?
She knows Ezra had already lost it. He isn't himself anymore! He would like he was leaving the Crew for good. Which...he might. As late it was, Ezra loved the cold.
Ezra decided to stay out some more until...he did it. Ezra had a plan, but it isn't good nor, pretty. "If Kanan doesn't want me anymore then...I will do it." He grunted. The person who I truly cared for, has left me. Ezra thought with sadness.
Ezra layed down, trying to take in some of the fresh scent of the grass, before he was leaving. His eyes closed, and he layed still. Not until three minutes later, he was crying, sobbing quietly. Nobody could hear him, in fact. nobody could see him. He's a little far from the Ghost.
His blue eyes opened, tears still falling he layed his head back down. His body then felt like he was stone. He couldn't move. He felt...stuck. Ezra lony open his mouth to sing.
When did I become so numb?
When did I lose myself?
All the words that leave my tongue
Feel like they came from someone else
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me- inside
I'm paralyzed
When did I become so cold?
When did I become ashamed?
And, where's the person that I know?
They must have left
They must have left
With all my faith
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feeling?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me- inside
I'm paralyzed
I'm paralyzed
I'm scared to live but I'm scared to die
And if life is pain the I buried mine
A long time ago but it's still alive
And it's taking me over
Where am I?
I wanna feel something
I'm numb inside
But I feel nothing, I wonder why
And on the race of life time passes by
Look!
I sit back and I watch it
Waves come crashing over me but I just watch 'em
I just watch 'em
I'm under water but I feel like I'm on top of it
I'm at the bottoms but I don't what the problem is
I'm in a box!
But I'm the one who locked me in
Suffocating and I'm running out of oxygen
I'm paralyzed
Where are my feelings?
I no longer feel things
I know I should
I'm paralyzed
Where is the real me?
I'm lost and it kills me- inside
I'm paralyzed (I'm just so paralyzed)
Where are my feelings (yeah, I'm just so paralyzed)
I no longer feel things (I have no feelings)
I know I should (how come I'm not moving?)
(Why aren't I moving?!)
Where is the real me? (Where is the real me? Where is the real me?)
I'm lost and it kills me- inside (I'm paralyzed)
I'm paralyzed (I'm paralyzed)
Ezra open his eyes again. He got up on his feet and grabbed his lightsaber. Ezra activated the weapon and pointed it up in the sky. Time to go see mom and dad. He smiled. He knew his parents would want to see him.
What Ezra didn't know was Kanan was right near him, not knowing what Ezra was doing.
Nobody loves me. He thought with anger. Mom and dad want me, truly they do! Ezra closed his eyes.
The blade was now pointed towards his stomach. Ezra counted down.
"5.." He whispers.
"4...3...2."
Kanan turn his head, near a faint voice.
"Ezra?" He said with concern.
"1..."
All what was heard next was a loud scream.
"AHHHHHH!"
Kanan jumped and ran to the sound. What he saw was...unbearable.
Ezra layed on the ground, covered in blood, a stab through his stomach and crying in pain. Ezra looked up to see Kanan. He blinked but gave a cold stare.
"What do...you...w..want?" He mumbled. Kanan started shaking, unmoving. His eyes kept on his Padawan. He dropped to his knees and pulled Ezra into a tight hug.
"I'm...I'm sorry!" He cried. "I didn't mean for all of...this." Ezra only looked away. It hurt him, with the stab.
"Stay with me kid!" Kanan called out.
Ezra felt like he made the worst mistake ever in his life. Killing himself. He started to tear up, thinking of what he did. "I'm sorry Kanan. I...I..." He couldn't speak.
"No. I'm sorry Ezra." Kanan choked out. "I...yelled at you, ignored you and dirt even wanted to see you. It's not your fault, it's mine. I'm sorry, I..I failed you..."
Ezra only smiled. I can never be mad at you, Kanan. He smiled and placed his hand on Kanan's chest, where his heart is at. "Don't blame, yourself." He said with wisdom.
"I did this. It wasn't your fault, Kanan."
Kanan was now crying, he pulled Ezra closer to him. Ezra only rested his head on Kanan's shoulder. "I still love you Kanan, always will. But remember.."
Kanan sobbed more. "I will always be with you."
Kanan had his head next to Ezra's.
"When I'm gone, just carry on. Don't mourn.
Rejoice every time you hear the sound
Of my voice. Just know that,
I'm looking down on ya smiling
Not have to feel a thing so don't
Feel my pain, just smile back."
Kanan was now, sobbing harder. "I will miss you Kanan. Take of the others...goodbye." Ezra squeezed Kanan hand hard until the life in his body left, and he went limb.
Kanan froze still. His own world, his Padawan. Just...died. The Jedi pulls his Padawan into another hug, he kissed Ezra's forehead and never let go...
Until Morning, where everyone mourn for their little Rebel.
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I'm so cruel.. sorry, but how was it?
I hoped y'all enjoyed.
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