Entry 15

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Hey guys! We're almost done (kind of) This is where it starts getting good! (poor anakin) so I hope you guys like it! Enjoy :)

“We can only hope that Master Kenobi is up to the challenge,” he answered in a voice deep of concern. There was something I could sense, but I couldn’t figure out what it was….

“I should be there with him,” I murmured, looking down. Part of me felt guilty, as if saying the thought out loud was wrong, but another part…A part deep inside felt the irritation at the mistrust in my abilities.

“It is upsetting to me to see that the Council doesn’t seem to fully appreciate your talents. Don’t you wonder why they won’t make you a Jedi Master?” he asked, his gaze fully searching. As he had been talking, I paced back and forth, unable to keep still. I looked at the floor, somehow hoping that a solution to everything would magically appear there for me.

“I wish I knew. More and more I get the feeling that I’m being excluded from the Council,” I replied. I knew I could be honest with the Chancellor, but there was something deep…dark…. My thoughts flashed back to Padme and the latest vision I’d had of her and then flashed to the power that it took to save her.

I knew I had sensed something in the room with the others earlier. I could still sense something now. And, I knew they were hiding something.

“I know there are things about the Force that they’re not telling me,” I said. My voice was angrier than I had expected.

“They don’t trust you. They see your future. They know your power will be too strong to control. You must break the through the fog of lies the Jedi have created around you.” He paused slightly. As he had been talking, he had stood up and together we walked out into the hallway. His hand was on my back. “Let me help you to know the subtleties of the Force,” he pleaded.

“How do you know the ways of the Force?” I demanded, shock filling my tone. I couldn’t help keep the surprise buried down. I stared at him, hoping…searching for the answer I so desperately needed.

“My mentor taught me everything about the Force….”

Before I could stop myself, I found myself wondering what kind of a mentor he could’ve had. I knew the answer before he said it, now that I look back…Somewhere deep inside me, in the deepest part of my being; I had known it before the words were uttered.

“Even the nature of the dark side.” His tone had taken a nasty wickedness. How could a tone like his be described? So husky and raspy, but strong and powerful at the same time.

“You know the dark side?!?!” I yelled, turning to face him. I glared at him, not believing what he’d just said. How could he know the dark side? And why? The dark side was….

“If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects, not just the dogmatic, narrow view of the Jedi. If you wish to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace…a larger view of the Force,” he explained, as if it was as simple as that.

I continued glaring at him, trying to calm my raging thoughts. I suddenly felt like the world was crushing down on me, suffocating me. Palpatine, my friend and mentor in more ways than one had….He had deceived everyone.

“Be careful of the Jedi. They fear you. In time, they will destroy you. Let me train you,” he pleaded.

“I won’t be a pawn in your political game! The Jedi are my family!” I yelled with finality.

I didn’t know I had been trying to convince myself more than him.

“Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi,” he coaxed.

We circled each other and I never took my death stare away from his eyes full of power.

“Learn to know the dark side of the Force and you will be able to save your wife from certain death,” he tempted.

I froze. “What did you say?” I demanded.

“Use my knowledge, I beg you…”

“You’re the Sith Lord!” I yelled, igniting my lightsaber and aiming it for his heart. Suddenly, it all made sense…how he knew about Padme, how he’d always seemed to know my feelings, exactly what to say at exactly the right time…

“I know what has been troubling you…Listen to me. Don’t continue to be a pawn of the Jedi Council! Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been searching for a life greater than that of an ordinary Jedi…a life of significance, of conscience.” His voice was cold, but smooth.

“You’re wrong!” I yelled at him, my fist clenching over the handle of the lightsaber. He turned his back to me and walked a little ways away. I held the lightsaber up to his back.

“Are you going to kill me?” he asked his voice completely calm.

“I would certainly like to,” I snapped through clenched teeth.

When he spoke next, his voice took a grave, husky, evilness to it that went deeper than just his tone. “I know you would. I can feel your anger. It gives you focus; makes you stronger.”

I tried to hone in my feelings, and I tried not to be shocked because I knew he was right; I was angry. At what, I’m not sure now. Maybe it was the thought that he had lied to me all these years. Maybe it was the thought, the terrifying knowledge that I knew deep inside but refused to allow myself to think about it.

The only way to save Padme was through the dark side.

I clenched my fist and held the lightsaber up to his throat as he slowly turned around to face me. I could kill him now. Kill him and be done with it.

But, without him, how could I save Padme? I needed him, right? No…He was a Sith Lord. I didn’t need him! I knew I needed to kill him, right then and there, but something inside me whispered to me to stop.

You’ve already murdered twice. How many times are you going to defile the Jedi Code?

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate…

With an internal gasp, I unclenched my fist and slowly relaxed. I turned my lightsaber off, but didn’t take my eyes off him.

“I am going to turn you over to the Jedi Council,” I said, more to myself than to him.

“Of course you should. But you’re not sure of their intentions, are you? What if I am right and they are plotting to take over the Republic?”

“I will quickly discover the truth of all this,” I swore. I hated…hated how he knew my innermost feelings, knew them even before I did. The more he spoke, however, the more I knew he was right about my feelings.

“You have great wisdom. Know the power of the dark side. The power to save Padme…”

I couldn’t make myself utter a word. I could only stare at him and then stare in the direction he left when he went back into his office.

Immediately I ran into the reporting room where I had last seen Master Windu. I knew what I needed to do and I was going to do it. “Master Windu, I must talk with you,” I said quickly.

“What is it? We are in a hurry. We have just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We are on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns emergency powers back to the Senate,” he said as we walked down the hanger bay.

“He won’t give up his power. I’ve just learned a terrible truth,” I started. I only hesitated for a second. “I think Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord.”

“A Sith Lord?” Master Windu asked, turning to me. His voice was full of disbelief.

“Yes. The one we have been looking for,” I explained.

“How do you know this?” he asked skeptically.

“He knows the ways of the Force. He’s been trained to use the dark side,” I answered him.

“Are you certain?”

“Absolutely,” I replied without hesitation.

“Then our worst fears have been realized. We must move quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive,” he said. His voice was grave, but sure and strong. We continued walking again, toward a ship at the end of the hanger.

“Master, the Chancellor is very powerful. You will need my help if you are going to arrest him,” I informed him. Surely he already knew how dangerous Palpatine was. It had taken both Obi-Wan and I two different tries to get Count Dooku. Mace would need my help. Was I really ready to, what? Kill the Chancellor? Palpatine who had befriended me all these years? He hadn’t really befriended me, though. He lied to everyone, to me. It was that anger that drove me to do what I knew I needed to do.

“For your own good, stay out of this affair. I sense a great deal of confusion in you young one. There is much fear that clouds your judgment,” he explained as if he was explaining my feelings to me.

“I must go, Master,” I demanded.

“No. If what you have told me is true, you will have gained my trust, but for now remain here,” he ordered.

My eyes narrowed. He didn’t trust me. He never had and he never would. The truth wouldn’t change that. I knew…

“Yes, Master,” I said, despite my feelings.

“Wait for us in the Council Chambers until we return,” he ordered.

“Yes, Master,” I said, unable to disobey his direct order. As he drove off, I felt the full weight of knowledge, distrust…I felt the full weight of the heavy burden that had been thrown onto my shoulders. Memories, words, lies, truths…Everything the Chancellor had ever told me rang in my ears on my way to the Council Chambers. I sat in one of the chairs.

“Before I die, I want you to know. Padme’s voice echoed in my mind.

“Know the power of the dark side. Power to save Padme,” the Chancellor’s previous words kept replaying over and over again in my mind. I saw Padme’s face and I stretched out to her, in the Force and I could feel her as if she was right beside me.

And then, I heard a dark whisper in my mind, something that the Chancellor hadn’t spoken to me before:

“You do know, don’t you? If the Jedi destroy me, any chance of saving her will be lost.

I shook my head and sighed, unable to keep the raw, gnawing feeling that had settled itself deep in my chest. I stood up and paced over to the window, looking out over the city. I tried to find comfort in the setting sun, but nothing could stop my restless heart.

I saw Padme standing at her balcony. ”It’s only because I’m so in love….Before I die I want you to know…I truly, deeply love you...Before I die…

I kept hearing that phrase over and over again until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I put my hands on my temples and pushed, as if I could push the phrase away.

“Before I die…I could see Padme’s dying face. She was pale, with a thin layer of sweat covering her. In the background I could hear a baby wailing. The dying Padme, looked up as if looking right at me and whispered, “I love you. And before I die I want you to know…” Her breath caught and she lightly gasped and all life left her body.

“NO!” I screamed, coming out of the vision. I swallowed back a lump in my throat and it seemed as if my whole body burned in fear.

“Know the power of the dark side. Without it, you cannot save her.

The dark side…What I would do…Tears streamed down my face. I knew what I would do. Something terrible was coming, I could sense it. I felt the tremor in the Force and I knew it was stirring because of me.

I loved Padme. I would do anything for her. Anything.

I swallowed back another lump in my throat, but this time an unbreakable feeling of guilt hit me in the chest so hard I couldn’t breathe.

Obi-Wan. His words echoed in my mind. “You are a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be…”

Yes, you are far greater. Than any Jedi. You will be the most powerful Jedi ever to live…” It was the Chancellor’s voice in my head, twisting Obi-Wan’s words to have a whole other meaning.

Padme. I kept my thoughts focused on her, rather than the guilt, the fear, the anger, the pain….Thinking of her was much easier than focusing on the horrific things I knew I would do.

I knew it, but at the time it didn’t fully register in my mind.

“I can’t do this. I can’t let her die. I won’t let her die,” I said with finalization and determination.

By the time I rushed into the Senate building, it was nightfall. I ran with all the energy I had into Palpatine’s office. Once I walked in, Palpatine was on the floor in front of his window with Mace standing over him, lightsaber out and facing Palpatine. The other Jedi that had ridden with him on the way over were lying dead on the floor.

“You are under arrest, My Lord,” Mace sneered.

“I told you it would come to this! The Jedi are taking over!” Palpatine yelled at me.

No…I started to think, but it was as if my brain shut down.

“You old fool. The oppression of the Sith will never return! Your plot to regain control of the Republic is over…You have lost!” Mace yelled.

“No! No, no, you will die!” Palpatine yelled back. At that moment, Palpatine raised his hands and lightning bolts shot out of them toward Mace. Mace reflected them back at the Sith, pushing him back farther.

“He is a traitor!” Palpatine, the Sith Lord yelled.

“He is the traitor…” Mace groaned. Mace was struggling with the bolts, holding onto his lightsaber. It was as if I was watching the scene through someone else’s eyes. I couldn’t make myself move or think.

“Come to your senses, boy. The Jedi are in revolt! They will betray you, just as they betrayed me!” the Sith yelled, almost in desperation.

Stop…Just stop, I begged, but I didn’t realize I hadn’t spoken out loud. Despite my mental protests, Palpatine prodded on and on. “You are not one of them…Don’t let him kill me!”

They hadn’t been here to take over, my mind finally thought. My mind also finally registered what was happening. Lord Sidious was aging before my eyes. His skin was winkling up, paling and aging by the second.

“I have the power to save the one you love. You must choose.” He stared at me, willing me….taunting me, reeling my mind in.

Padme. My mind ushered that one thought.Again, I saw the dying image of her and the fear gripped my heart and took over my mind, my will.

“Don’t listen to him!!” Mace yelled.

“I can’t…I give up. Help me, I can’t hold on any longer. I can’t. I’m too weak. Please, oh…”

“You Sith disease. I’m going to end this once and for all,” Mace swore.

“You can’t kill him, Master,” I begged.

Mace stole a glance at me. “Don’t let him deceive you.”

“He must stand trial,” I protested. Anything…My mind was scraping for anything…I needed him alive. Palpatine couldn’t die.

“He has too much control of the Senate and the Courts. He’s too dangerous to be left alive!”

“I’m too weak. Don’t kill me,” Palpatine begged. He was dying. I could see it.

“It’s not the Jedi way,” I started. My mind briefly flashed to Dooku and my murder of him…

Everything that happened next, happened in slow motion. As if reality had stopped and the nightmare began.

Mace raised his sword.

“He must live…” I pleaded.

“Please don’t…!”

“I need him!” I yelled.

“Please don’t!” Palpatine begged.

Mace raised it higher.

“NO!” The lightsaber was out of Mace’s hand and within seconds Palpatine’s hands were raised and shooting out lightning at him again. “POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!” Palpatine screamed as Mace’s body fell from the window. Palpatine sighed.

Before my mind could register anything he stood up.

“Wh…What have I done?!” I asked despairingly. Even though deep down, I knew…I knew I had pulled out and ignited my lightsaber. I had cut Mace’s hand off, disabling him.

My knees gave out beneath me and I collapsed to the floor. My knees were partly underneath me and my hands leaned on the tips of my knees, trembling.

“You are fulfilling your destiny. Become my apprentice. Learn to use the dark side of the Force,” Palpatine invited. His voice was raspier and he finally stood up, towering over me.

I had to force my head to lean up to look at him.

“I will do whatever you…ask,” I answered, giving up my will…Everything. “Just help me save Padme’s life. I can’t live without her. I won’t let her die. I want the power to stop death,” I said. My voice didn’t sound like my own.

I looked down at the floor, trying to calm my shaking hands, calm my beating heart. The only thought that kept me sane was: Padme. Thinking about her, knowing that I was doing this for her, was the only thing that kept me in my own right mind. I could feel my will slipping away the more I talked, but I couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

“To cheat death is a power only one has achieved, but if we work together, I know we can discover the secret,” he said. His voice had taken on a whole new evilness to it; something I had never heard before.

“I pledge myself to your teachings,” I gave in. Inside, I shut down all rational thought; I gave up my willpower, all the good things in me. I shut my brain off because I knew if I listened to the warnings screaming inside me, I knew I wouldn’t be able to this.

“Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become,” he foresaw. He had a distant look in his eyes, as if he saw something from another time. His expression said that whatever it was, he loved what he was seeing.

I could feel the darkness radiating off him. Slowly, as he said my new Sith name out loud, I could see the tendrils of darkness seeping from him and crawl on me. When the darkness touched my legs, at first I felt that surge of power inside me. My brain tried to resist it, but I shut all my feelings off, save one: My love for Padme.

I thought her name and instantly, I was calm. The darkness crawled over me, consuming me and I breathed out a sigh as the power of it filled me. I would learn the power to save Padme from death.

I knew I would.

“Thank you, my Master,” I said with newfound power. As he said my new Sith name, I felt a feeling of darkness inside me. It filled me, consuming my thoughts, my mind…my will. I looked up from the floor to my Master’s face and saw my own glare mimicked in his look.

“Rise,” he commanded me.

I instantly did as he commanded. I stood and watched as he walked over to the window. I didn’t even shiver as the cold night air hit me with the breeze. Breathing in the scent of the night didn’t calm my raging nerves.

“Because the Council did not trust you, my young apprentice, I believe you are the only Jedi with no knowledge of this plot. When the Jedi learn what has transpired here, they will kill us. Along with all the Senators,” my Master explained.

“I agree. The Council’s next move will be against the Senate.”

“Every single Jedi, including your friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic. You understand that, don’t you?” he asked me.

I only hesitated for a second. “I understand, Master.”

“We must move quickly. The Jedi are relentless. If they are not all destroyed, it will be civil war without end. I want you to go to the Jedi Temple. We will catch them off balance. Do what must be done! Do not hesitate, show no mercy,” he commanded.

The full weight of what he was asking hit me like a blow to the chest. I didn’t reply; I couldn’t.

Sensing my hesitation, he said, “Only then will you be strong enough with the dark side to save Padme.”

“What about the other Jedi spread across the galaxy?” I asked.

“Their betrayal will be dealt with. After you have killed all the Jedi in the Temple, go to the Mustafar system. Wipe out Viceroy Gunray and all the other Separatist leaders. Once more the Sith will rule the galaxy. And we shall have peace.” His voice had gone even raspier, if that was even possible.

I nodded, bowed and left. I called to the other clone troopers that were still in the city and not spread out on missions. I briefly wondered how Lord Sidious would order the other clones around the galaxy, but I didn’t have any doubts that he would get it done.

He would. The clones followed my every order and I lead a battalion of them straight to the Temple. Clones took every order without hesitation, so they did exactly what Lord Sidious and I had told them to do.

Once I reached the Temple, sounds of blaster shots and lightsabers humming blocked out all other sounds. Then, the screaming began.

I blocked out all my thoughts; rational or not. I shut out and forced back all my feelings, even my love for Padme. I called to the anger and hate raging inside me, which made it easier for me to call to the dark side to do my mission.

I twirled my lightsaber, hitting and killing with every strike. Most of the Jedi were younger ones, since most of the Masters and experienced ones were on missions elsewhere in the galaxy. There was one, and I had just spoken to him this morning.

He stopped mid-strike when he saw me. He called my name and for a second, I couldn’t move. These were my friends, my brothers…

A clone fired a shot behind him, which made him move into action. He blocked the shot behind his back then came around, did a 360 degree turn and came down along my right shoulder.

I hesitated and almost didn’t block him in time. I blocked him, called to the dark side and felt that surge of power coursing through me, draining my will, killing the good inside me. I could no longer sense the good side of the Force, only darkness, anger and hate inside me now. I let my rage consume me and I swung faster than even the young Jedi could sense.

I killed him within seconds after his first attack.

I continued on my way, killing everything that got in my way. I walked through a door and I barely noticed it shutting behind me.

Younglings had hidden behind chairs in this room. When they saw me, they all came out. One, a short, blond-haired youngling came out first and spoke. He called my name, calling me Master.

“What are we going to do? There are too many of them,” he said, concern plain on his face.

I narrowed my eyes and ignited my lightsaber.

I gave up all my other feelings, all except my love for Padme. That was the only good feeling I had left, but I had to keep it because without my love for Padme, I wouldn’t have been able to do the things I did. I kept seeing her dying face and the more I killed, the more I murdered, the more that image shimmered and slowly died. 

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