Hours later, smoke filled the night sky and made it blacker than it should’ve been. There was no moonlight, no lingerers on the streets, no extra sounds besides the sounds of death and anguish.

Fire spread throughout the Jedi Temple, and ash settled in the rooms and doors. The bitter taste of sweat and blood filled my mouth, but it wasn’t my own.

I got in my ship and left to go see Padme. As soon as I landed, she ran straight up and hugged me, putting her arms on me as if she had to make sure there wasn’t a part of me missing.

“Are you alright? I heard there was an attack on the Jedi Temple…You can see the smoke from here,” she blurted quickly.

I could feel hear heartbeat and sense her fear.

“I’m fine. I came to see if you and the baby are safe,” I told her.

“Captain Typho’s here. We’re safe. What’s happening?” she asked.

“The situation is not good,” I answered her, putting a look of fake worry on my face. “The Jedi have tried to overthrow the Republic.”

“I can’t believe that!” she shouted.

“I couldn’t either at first, but it’s true. I saw Master Windu attempt to assassinate the Chancellor myself,” I told her.

She got a look of horror on her face.  “No,” she whispered.

“Yes,” I answered, as if it pained me to admit it.

“What are you gonna do?” she asked. Her tone was scared and she was trembling slightly.

I looked down and walked away from her, so she couldn’t see my expression. Even though I had just committed the most terrible of horrors that night, I was ashamed of lying to Padme. I hated lying to her. But I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth; she wouldn’t understand.

I decided I would get as close to the truth as I could.

“I will not betray the Republic. My loyalties lie with the Chancellor, with the Senate….And with you, my love,” I told her. I turned back to face her, hoping to see a sign of relief in her expression, but there was none.

“What about Obi-Wan?” she asked. Her heartbeat was still racing.

I tried to control my anger at her mention of him. I couldn’t help wondering why she was so concerned with him.

The last image of him and how proud he’d been of me flashed in my mind and haunted me. I grabbed onto the anger and let it push away the guilt that had started to whisper its way into my mind.

“I don’t know,” I admitted honestly, trying not to be worried about him. I focused on my hate and tried to keep the fact that he was now my enemy stay in my mind, rather than dangerous thoughts…Like how he’d been my brother just this morning.

“I don’t know, Padme. Many Jedi have been killed. We can only hope that he’s remained loyal to the Chancellor,” I told her. The more I spoke, the more I knew it was just a twisted version of my thoughts, but I couldn’t seem to stop the lies from coming out of my mouth.

“How could this have happened?” she asked quietly. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

“The Republic is unstable, Padme. The Jedi aren’t the only ones trying to take advantage of the situation. There are also traitors in the Senate,” I explained, briefly thinking of Bail Organa and how he’d been there tonight, trying to stop the clones from killing the Jedi.

“What are you saying?” she asked.

“You need to distance yourself from your friends in the Senate. The Chancellor said they will be dealt with when this conflict is over,” I ordered her. 

“What if they start an inquisition? I’ve opposed this war. What will you do if I become a suspect?” she asked, blinking back tears.

“That won’t happen!” I yelled. I lowered my voice when I saw her wince. “I won’t let it,” I promised.

“Oh, Annie. I’m afraid,” she murmured.

“Have faith, my love. Everything will soon be set right,” I said, holding her face in my hands. “The Chancellor has given me a very important mission. The Separatists have gathered on the Mustafar system. I’m going there to end this war. Wait for me until I return…Things will be different, I promise.” Toward the end of my sentence, my tone almost sounded desperate, as if I needed everything to be normal again.

What if she found out my crimes? What if she didn’t accept them, accept what I was doing for her and she left me?

I couldn’t bear to lose her…to death...to anything and I wouldn’t lose her. “Please, wait for me,” I repeated.

“I will,” she whispered as we kissed. I got in my ship and look off for the Mustafar system.

Again, I’d slaughtered without a second thought. Each new time I killed, I felt the dark side pulsing inside me. Darkness consumed me, changing me, turning me into something I had never intended to be.

I tried to feel the good Force, but all I could feel was a deep, soul-shattering feeling that something was horribly wrong.

I saw Obi-Wan and Yoda fighting to get inside the Jedi Temple. I could see Padme and Bail Organa and their looks of terror when they listened to Lord Sidious’ announce of the New Empire. I saw Obi-Wan’s face of horror, saw him pleading with me. I could see Padme’s tears and her shaking my head at me. I could see her crying and I heard the wails of a baby in the background and that’s when I realized I just saw what would happen, visions of the future.

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate and hate…leads to suffering.”

“Goodbye old friend. May the Force be with you.”

“There are too many of them, what are we going to do?”

“Annie! Help me!”

“I truly, deeply, love you. And before I die, I want you to know.”

“Rise.”

“Do not hesitate show no mercy!”

“What about Obi-Wan?”

“Even your friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is now an enemy of the Republic.”

“Before I die…”

“Don’t give up, Padme.”

 “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”

“Soon your power will be too great for them to control.”

“You have become a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be.”

“You’re children need you, Padme!”

“Before I die….”

“He is the chosen one! You must see it!”

“There is still…”

“Before I die…”

“You are a far greater Jedi than I could ever hope to be.”

“I know, I know there’s still….”

I screamed into the nighttime sky, a cry of anguish, of sorrow. I couldn’t seem to move…My arms crossed over my chest, my hood over my face, hiding my expression…I didn’t move or blink. My thoughts were rushing around and around, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened.

I didn’t want this. I had never wanted this. Somehow, though, it had happened, and escalated far beyond my control. The screams, pleads and dying cries of tonight echoed in my mind.

Shortly before I wrote this story down, I sent a message to Lord Sidious, telling him the Separatists had been taken care off. Once the hologram of him had disappeared, I found an old empty journal and began writing.

My hands tremble as they write. I can even hear the beeping to let me know a ship is nearby.

I already know its Padme’s even before I look to see. How can I face her, now, knowing everything I’ve done? In one of my visions from earlier, I saw her, saying there was still good inside me.

She’s wrong. I’m past the point of no return. I’ve gone too far, and now I know I can save her from death, but what did it take to get here? My humanity, my will, all of me. There’s nothing left of me now.

There’s no going back.

My tears hit the bottom of the page, where the writer last left off. I covered my mouth with my hands, trying to calm my trembling. I sensed there was way more to this than was mentioned or written down, but then, how could there be any more to this tragedy? I turned the pages, trying to see how many blank pages were left, what happened next and why the writer never wrote after that, when suddenly, my eyes lingered to a large entry two blank pages over. The writing was way different and as I began reading, I realized it was a different writer altogether.