Fiza stared at her Instagram screen, her heart pounding as she saw a friend request from Aradya. Curiosity got the better of her, and she accepted it, only to feel her chest tighten as she scrolled through Aradya's pictures.

Alan and Aradya appeared together in numerous photos—laughing, dancing, and taking selfies. Each snapshot felt like a dagger to her heart, igniting a whirlwind of uncomfortable emotions. Alan's interactions with Aradya seemed casual and friendly, yet Fiza's mind raced with doubts.

He loved her, she reminded herself. This was just his way of interacting with others, nothing more. He was simply more outgoing than she was. He wouldn't cheat on her. She repeated the mantra in her mind to quell the rising tide of insecurity.

That night, a new obsession was born. Fiza found herself checking Aradya's Instagram every evening before bed, scrolling through her posts, meticulously analyzing each picture and caption.

Her heart clenched when she stumbled upon a reel from a few months ago—her Alan, dancing with Aradya. Their bodies were close, Aradya's hand resting on his chest, his hand on her waist. Fiza's fingers trembled as she captured several screenshots of the reel, each one deepening her anxiety.

Part of her wanted to confront Alan, to seek an explanation, but she hesitated. Things were going so well between them now, and she couldn't bear to rock the boat. Yet, the nagging doubts remained. If there was even a possibility of betrayal, she knew she had to confront it, no matter how difficult the conversation might be.

The next morning, Fiza was assigned to the Pediatrics ward. With barely any sleep, she struggled to keep up with her responsibilities.

"What's going on with you?" Faisal inquired during pre-rounds, concern evident on his face as he observed her uncharacteristic state of disarray. He had always known her to be thorough and diligent, so seeing her frazzled worried him.

"I'm sorry, Sir. Just haven't slept," she responded, her voice tinged with exhaustion.

He couldn't help but notice the redness that colored her eyelids and the puffiness of her lower lids. His concern deepened.

"Were you crying?" he blurted out, the words escaping before he could filter his thoughts. The intensity of his gaze caught her off guard, and

Fiza felt a rush of mixed emotions. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her heart flutter, but she quickly dismissed it as her tired mind playing tricks.

Faisal wanted to offer comfort, to make everything okay for her. He longed to hold her and tell her that he was there to support her.

He wished he could shield her from whatever was causing her distress. He was grateful for her mask; otherwise, his urge to kiss her might have been too obvious.

"You can talk to me about things outside of our postings, too, Fiza," he said softly, his tone a gentle invitation.

Her heart raced at the tenderness in his voice, and she shook her head slightly, struggling to find the right words.

"You're leaving at the end of the month, and I'll be all by myself again," she finally admitted, revealing a partial truth. The hint of loneliness in her voice made Faisal's heart ache.

Faisal couldn't ignore the turmoil she was in. Could her emotions be shifting towards him? Could she be developing feelings?

He quickly dismissed the thought as her engaged status resurfaced in his mind. Confusion mingled with a glimmer of hope within him.

"Fiza, I'm going to Manipal. It's close enough for you to visit," he reassured her, hoping to offer some solace. "And if you'd like, I can visit you. We'll keep in touch." Fiza nodded eagerly, thankful for his understanding and support.

"Is Alan treating you well?" He couldn't help but inquire, a mix of concern and something else edging into his voice. Fiza's expression faltered, and he could sense her discomfort.

"I don't want to talk about him right now," she responded firmly, her voice quivering slightly. The last thing she wanted was to break down emotionally in the busy hospital wards. She quickly picked up a patient chart, trying to redirect her focus, but tears silently streamed down her face.

Faisal watched her closely, his heart swelling with affection for this remarkable woman who stood before him. He felt a growing admiration for her resilience, intelligence, and empathy.

As he observed her battling her emotions behind the mask and glasses, a realization dawned upon him—his feelings for her were deepening, whether he liked it or not.

Fiza took a page out of Alan's book and decided to pick up a few extra night shifts at a nearby hospital. She managed to save up enough money to book a stay at a four-star hotel in Manipal, despite her busy schedule.

With only a little over a month left of the first year of her postgraduate program, Fiza's time was becoming increasingly precious. She had two weeks between her first and second year and planned to split her vacation between spending time alone with Alan at his new apartment and with his family. Though she longed to see her own family, the lingering Covid-19 restrictions made traveling to Kerala and back a complicated endeavor.

Lately, Fiza had been experiencing bouts of nausea upon waking. She wondered if another migraine was brewing. This concern soon turned into a different worry when she realized she had missed her period. Her mind raced as she checked her calendar. Could she be pregnant?

The fear grew stronger as she remembered that, amidst everything, she and Alan hadn't managed to get to the pharmacy for the morning-after pill.

Panic began to set in, and Fiza felt herself hyperventilating. This marked the third panic attack she had experienced in her life. Her roommate, Bharti, noticed her distress and rushed to her side, asking what had happened. With Bharti's help, Fiza managed to sit down and drink a glass of water, though her mind was still racing.

Alan's potential infidelity, the prospect of being pregnant with his child, and the financial and emotional turmoil of a possible abortion without informing her family all swirled in her mind. She felt isolated, as if she had no one to turn to.

Then, a snippet of a conversation from a couple of months ago during the Agumbe trip resurfaced in her memory. "Fiza, I want to have a baby with you." She latched onto that thought, using it to anchor her racing thoughts.

As Fiza worked to slow her breathing, she focused on that single line. Maybe there were alternatives to what she had been envisioning. Perhaps they could consider a simple registry marriage.  Maybe she could then choose to have the baby.

She realized she needed to talk to Alan about this, to share her fears and thoughts with him. As the words unintentionally slipped out in her anxiety, she blurted, "Pregnant."

Bharti's eyes sharpened at the admission. "Are you pregnant?" she asked directly, her concern evident. Fiza was momentarily confused before understanding dawned, and she nodded in response. "You need to meet him in person, soon," Bharti encouraged.

Without wasting any time, Fiza submitted a leave of absence request, citing medical reasons for the next two days. She packed her bag and set off for Manipal, ready to face the challenging conversation that lay ahead.

Fiza's resolve was strong as she headed toward Manipal. She wasn't just planning to share the life-altering news of her pregnancy with Alan; she was also determined to confront him about his relationship with Aradya.

The gnawing doubts and suspicions she had about his interactions with Aradya had become too heavy to bear, and now was the time to lay everything bare.

As the journey progressed, Fiza rehearsed her thoughts, trying to find the right words to express her feelings. She knew she was feeling insecure and even jealous, but she believed that in a committed relationship like theirs, open communication and honesty were essential.

She wanted to tell Alan that the close proximity he shared with Aradya made her uncomfortable, that she wanted him to choose her and their relationship over everything else.

In the hotel lobby, Fiza's heart pounded with anxiety. She glanced at her phone, contemplating whether she should go ahead with her plan or give him some space. Her fingers trembled slightly as she dialed his number, hoping he would pick up this time.

Unfortunately, her call was cut once again. Frustration gnawed at her, but she was determined not to let it deter her. She took a deep breath and decided to use the "Find My Friends" app to locate him. To her relief, she saw that he was at End Point Park.

Fiza hailed an auto to reach the park, her heart racing with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. She dialed Alan's number once again, only for him to cut the call abruptly. Doubts and insecurities swirled in her mind—perhaps this wasn't the right decision.

Yet, fueled by a surge of determination, she set off on foot toward his pinpointed location. The sun bore down on her, intensifying the heat and exertion, causing her stomach to contract uncomfortably.

Her palms pressed against her sides, Fiza pressed forward, alternating between walking and running as the urgency in her heart pushed her on. As sweat trickled down her forehead, she realized her mask was making her breathing even more labored. She fumbled to remove it, her gasps for air mingling with the sound of her footsteps.

She redialed Alan's number, hoping for a different outcome, only to be met with another abrupt disconnection. Turning to the app once more, she discovered it indicated her proximity to Alan's location.

Her eyes scanned the surroundings, a determined glint in her gaze. Finally, her vision settled on a narrow path leading to a viewpoint. Ignoring the strain in her muscles, she sprinted toward it, her heart pounding in her chest.

As she reached the viewpoint, her breath ragged, a scene unfolded before her that shattered her world. Alan sat on a bench, his arms encircling Aradya's waist, their intimacy apparent. Aradya turned her head, her gaze locking onto Fiza's. Then, in a gesture that felt like a stab to Fiza's heart, Aradya pulled Alan's face toward her and kissed him deeply.

*********************************************

Author's note

Link to "Like a fool" - Kiera knightley. I think it captures the vibe of this chapter.

What is happening? Is Alan cheating on Fiza?

Did you know that in India failure of contraception in itself allows you to terminate a pregnancy according to the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act?

Until 2021, the wording on the MTP Act was "husband" and "married woman" due to which in many hospitals, unmarried women were denied abortion services, resulting in unlawful abortions, sepsis, unwanted births, abandonment on the baby, ostracizing of the mother and preventable maternal and infant deaths.

Tell me your thoughts on this chapter. Do you trust Alan?

Please don't forget to vote!

- Faiza