"But I am... I am a monster, I hit you. I almost raped you that day." The words he spoke were a revelation of the darkness that had long haunted him, the guilt and shame that had etched itself into his soul.

This admission was more than just a revelation; it was a catharsis, a release of the torment that had gnawed at him from within. It was the root of his self-loathing, the reason he believed he was undeserving of happiness, the explanation behind his struggle to love and be loved.

The pain he held had found its voice, and for the first time, he was allowing it to be heard.

His mind cast back to a moment that had become a defining point in his life. Aarthy had pushed him away after she had climaxed, asking him to take care of himself elsewhere. His anger and frustration had led him to slap her across her face. He remembered her words, the accusation that had seared into his conscience: "You're a monster." It was a moment of darkness, a time when his actions had embodied the very label she had given him.

He had lost control, his actions teetering on the precipice of unforgivable. He recalled that he had overpowered her, pinned her down on the bed with the intention to force himself upon her.

The memory of her fearful question, "Are you going to rape me?" was a clear reminder of the precipice he had stood upon, of how close he had come to crossing a line from which there would be no return.

For the first time, the stoic façade that had characterized Aarthy seemed to crumble, revealing a raw surge of emotion. "But you didn't," her voice quivered with a mix of relief and regret, "That day, I had intentionally provoked you, but you still walked away."

"I wanted you to hurt me, to punish me for what I was doing to Urvasi akki," Aarthy's confession hung in the air, heavy with the weight of her own guilt and turmoil. "But you walked away."

"Please, forget everything I did and everything I ever said to you," her plea was earnest, her words a plea for forgiveness. "I was a mess, I didn't even know you well enough to tell you that you didn't deserve love or happiness. It was all me. I'm sorry," the sincerity in her words was unmistakable, a genuine apology that resonated with the depth of her regret.

Alan's tears flowed freely as he sought refuge in Fiza's comforting embrace.

Aishwarya's voice broke the silence, laden with remorse, "I didn't know all this. I thought you were responsible for everything my sister went through. I was angry that you were happy and in a relationship when my sister was... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"I'm happy that Alan will now be able to find some closure," Fiza's voice held a note of gratitude. Her understanding of Alan had deepened.

She saw the strength it had taken for him to break free from the cycle of trauma and abuse. This revelation only intensified her love and admiration for him.

Amidst the emotions, Fiza's lips brushed Alan's head and ear, a gesture of tenderness that mirrored the refuge she provided him. His grip on her tightened as though she were a lifeline amidst the swirling emotions.

"He is lucky to have you," Aarthy observed. Her voice held a touch of admiration, her perspective shifting in the wake of these revelations.

"Did it help you to apologize?" Fiza inquired gently, seeking to understand the impact of this cathartic moment.

Aarthy's response was marked by a shrug, a casual demeanor returning to the surface. "I don't feel anything anymore."

Alan's gaze met Fiza's, and he leaned in, capturing her mouth in a fervent kiss. It was a kiss fueled by desperation, a passionate fusion of their souls where he bared every ounce of his vulnerability. He realized how deeply she had believed in him, how she had stood steadfastly by his side, when evidence had pointed to infidelity, and now as Aarthy recounted their complex journey. She was the constant presence that had anchored him, his angel, and his savior.

When their lips finally parted, he held her gaze, his voice laced with determination. "Screw everything else, Fiz," he declared, he didn't care that Aarthy and Aishwarya were still present, "Let's get married today."

Fiza laughed. "It doesn't work like that," she explained. "We would need to get married through the Special Marriage Act. We need to submit an application and wait for 30 days during which anyone can object. After that, we can marry."

"Let's do it, Fiz," urged Alan. She looked into his dark eyes and smiled softly.

"Alan, I told you, next time I go home, I'll talk to my parents about not waiting till the end of PG," reassured Fiza, touching his cheek with her thumb. "They'll be so hurt if we do this without them."

Alan took a deep breath. "Let's head home, then."

When they reached the apartment, Fiza informed Alan that she had a lecture tomorrow and needed to work on the slides.

Alan rolled his eyes but complied. "I'm going to cook for you," he said. A few minutes later, he brought her a bowl of soupy maggie. "I put ketchup in it, to make it tangy," he explained.

Fiza looked up at him over her glasses. He was such a sweetheart!

"Want me to feed you?" He asked, smiling at her.

She laughed. "What's gotten into you?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "I just love you so much, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know how to fully express how deeply I adore you."

Fiza got up and put her arms around him, he pressed against her, enveloping her in his strong embrace. Fiza felt a profound sense of peace just being in Alan's arms.

She loved him immensely, but the conversation with Aarthy had stirred up unsettling emotions. She couldn't push away the intrusive thoughts. Fragments of phrases echoed in her mind, stirring up a mixture of emotions.

"He told me he loved me."

"We experimented a lot."

"He kept coming back for more."

"I hit you... I almost raped you."

Fiza took deep breaths, allowing herself to fully experience the presence of the Alan in front of her. The Alan who loved her unconditionally and was holding her with such care. The same Alan who had proposed to her earlier today. She held him even tighter, and he responded in kind.

Feeling a slight struggle for breath, she pushed gently against his chest, creating a bit of space between them. As she gazed into his eyes, it felt as if she could peer directly into his soul. There was no one else for her but him, and she was the same for him.

"I love you, Alan," she whispered, tilting her head slightly to reach up and kiss him.

Alan leaned in and their lips met with tenderness, the kiss not deepening yet still filled with the warmth of their affection for each other.

"Alan?" Fiza's voice held a hint of concern as she addressed him, her own emotions tangled in the situation.

He took a seat at the dining table and she followed suit, ready to listen.

"I feel like I've seen a ghost. I didn't know she was so... damaged. I just hated her for what she did to me. I really hated her," he admitted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Almost as much as I used to hate myself."

Fiza sat quietly, absorbing his words, wondering about the complexity of the situation.

"Why did you keep going back to her, Alan?" Fiza inquired, unable to restrain her curiosity.

"I don't know. I should have just ended things the first time she hurt me. Then it was just an addiction," his voice quivered, revealing the depth of his feelings. He seemed to be reminiscing, looking back on a time of confusion and struggle. "At first, I felt like I had to prove my worth to her. Make her realize she was wrong about me."

Fiza's heart ached as she listened, realizing the extent to which he had been affected by this tumultuous relationship. She placed a comforting hand on his back and stroked him gently as he continued.

"Then I started believing her. That I was bad, evil. I started being that way. I didn't think anyone could..." His voice cracked, and he couldn't find the words to continue. He bowed his head, covering his face with his hands, allowing himself a moment to collect his thoughts and emotions.

Fiza touched him, gently rubbing his arm.

"I didn't think anyone could love me, and I didn't want to try. I didn't know how to stop it. I just couldn't," his voice was heavy with regret, a weight that had been carried for far too long. He finally raised his eyes to meet Fiza's, seeking some sort of understanding, redemption, or perhaps forgiveness.

Fiza's heart ached for Alan as she looked into his vulnerable eyes, feeling his pain and regret in her own heart. Without words, she shifted onto his lap, wrapping her arms around him in a tender embrace.

He leaned against her chest, finding relief in her presence, his breath against her skin. Fiza gently patted his head, letting him know through her touch that she was there for him, supporting him through this difficult moment.

In the quiet of the apartment, they each found their own ways to cope with the emotions that swirled within them. Fiza focused on her lecture materials, trying to regain a sense of normalcy amidst the chaos of the day. Alan delved into his work, reading up on cases as a distraction from the whirlwind of thoughts and feelings that had consumed him.

Around 7 pm, Faisal walked in, finding the two of them at the table. Fiza greeted him with a smile, which he returned and he nodded at Alan.

"I'm actually glad you are here. I got you something," he said, disappearing into the room briefly to retrieve a box.

Alan's brows furrowed slightly as he observed the exchange.

Faisal pulled up a chair next to Fiza and handed her a blue velvet box. Inside, there was a delicate gold chain with a pendant shaped like the letter F in cursive.

Fiza's eyes lit up with surprise. "Oh my God! This is so cute! But why?" she asked, her curiosity evident. Faisal shrugged, "I saw this and thought of you. You had a birthday a couple of weeks ago, right?" She nodded appreciatively.

Alan's expression remained neutral, but inwardly, he was fuming. Seeing Fiza's happiness stirred a pang of jealousy within him. He had never gifted her something so personal. And now, Faisal had done just that.

Alan felt a mixture of emotions bubbling up within him. He watched as Fiza's excitement radiated, and it gnawed at him. Over the past two years, Fiza had consistently turned down gifts and extravagant outings, instead choosing to prioritize saving money in their "runaway fund."

He regretted it now. His entire stipend was deposited into the runaway fund, for her, for them, yet, it had taken away from him the opportunity to treat her like a princess, the way he used to love doing when they had been in college.

Fiza's gaze turned to Alan, silently seeking his approval to accept the gift. He offered a nonchalant shrug, concealing the surge of jealousy that coursed through him.

"Thank you!" Fiza exclaimed, her appreciation directed towards Faisal. She looked genuinely touched by his gesture.

"I want to put it on for you," Faisal suggested, his gaze holding a certain intensity that caused Fiza to blush.

'It's not weird,' she reassured herself inwardly. 'He's my friend, and he's doing this in front of my boyfriend. Alan's okay with it.'

Fiza tilted her head slightly, to allow him to fasten the necklace around her neck. The gesture felt intimate, and Alan's discomfort only grew as he observed their interaction. He wondered if he had been too guarded, too cautious in his own relationship with Fiza.

Faisal leaned in, his warm breath tickled her ear, his fingers grazing the back of Fiza's neck as he secured the clasp. Fiza's eyes remained on him, surprised at the surge of emotion she felt. Alan shifted in his seat, feeling like an outsider. He reminded himself that Fiza's happiness was what mattered most, even if it stung a little.

"Beautiful..." his voice murmured, and she glanced down, suddenly feeling self-conscious as a flush crept up her cheeks.

**********************************************
Author's note:
What do you think Faisal is upto?
If you were Alan, how would you react?

Don't forget to vote!

❤️Faiza