I was working through a mock question bank on the computer, my timer set on my phone, and large over-the-ear headphones playing white noise to drown out distractions. My leg was shaking, a telltale sign of my nerves. My lips had turned blue from chewing on my pen, but I didn't care.

After three grueling hours, I was starting to lose focus. Maybe I should just call it quits. The aroma of masala chai, with its comforting scent of condensed milk, called out to me, tempting me to take a break.

I forced myself to read the question again: What are the criteria for switching from an insulin drip to subcutaneous insulin in a patient with HHS? Finally, I marked the correct answers: glucose <300, osmolality <320.

Feeling relieved that I had finally completed the mock test, I took off my headphones, slammed my laptop shut, and stretched my arms above my head, squeezing my eyes shut. When I opened them, they met a pair of light brown eyes that I knew all too well.

No. It couldn't be. I must be hallucinating from skipping both breakfast and lunch. There was no way this was Advik sitting at the table adjacent to mine.

I realized I was staring without blinking and quickly looked away.

Bitter nostalgia flooded my mind as I remembered the countless hours we had spent studying together in the library—making notes, quizzing each other. My mouth went dry, and I licked my lips, tasting the faint residue of ink.

I glanced at him again, and he wore a small smile. I tried to return it, but my body was in shock.

I breathed in through my mouth, held my breath for three seconds, and exhaled through my nose, repeating the process to calm myself. When my eyes wandered back to him, he was looking into his book.

How long had he been here? I hadn't seen him come in. I should gather my things and leave. Quickly, I put my laptop in my bag, followed by my notebook, pens, and highlighters.

"Oh wait! Naina, we were going to CCD to get some coffee. Did you want to join us?" asked Neha.

Neha was three years my junior, taking a gap year to prep for her NEET PG exams, while I was buried in preparations for my NEET SS and MD finals.

Neha had made quite a show about her crush on Advik, even propositioning him a few days ago, only to be gently rejected. And yet here he was today, and she was asking me to join them.

Something didn't add up.

"You carry on, I have to get home," I mumbled, realizing I hadn't responded properly.

"Hubby waiting for you at home?" she teased. My eyes automatically flitted towards Advik. He wasn't looking at me.

I wanted to strangle Neha. But then again, she didn't know that Advik and I were...

What do you call it when you are ripped apart from your soulmate? When everything you believed was love, true love, turns out to be a lie. I bit my lower lip to stop from crying, but I could feel my eyes glazing over.

"Adi wanted to study with me today," she revealed smugly. I closed my eyes, realizing why she was doing this.

A few days ago, after he had rejected her, she had been venting to me and our friend Gina, bashing him verbally. I had reacted by saying, "Maybe you're not his type." She had felt insulted by my comment and now wanted to show me that he was interested in her.

"And he wanted to go grab a coffee with me," she continued triumphantly.

"Enjoy," I mumbled, swinging my bag over my shoulder, not looking at either of them but not getting up just yet. I was disappointed in Advik. I thought after our breakup, he would look for something substantial, not go for someone who just wanted a good time.

"Neha, we are going to the cafe as friends," Advik said softly. I shouldn't have lingered, but I did. I should have left. My hand found the tabletop, and I held onto the edge.

"Sure," she rolled her eyes playfully. "You said you don't make friends with girls?"

"I am struggling after a breakup," he told her. "I am not looking for a relationship or even a short fling."

"Isn't the best way to get over a breakup to find a good rebound?" she asked him, laughing.

I pretended to rummage through my belongings as though searching for something.

"No, I want to make myself the kind of person who is deserving of her. I should have done that while I was with her."

He was saying this for my benefit. He knew I was listening, and he was talking to me. I looked at him, but his eyes were laser-focused on Neha, and she was blushing.

"Maybe you wouldn't have to change who you are for the right girl," Neha suggested.

Advik shook his head but didn't say anything.

"Hey, I won't push. But I can be a good friend if you want one. To listen or whatever," she said almost tenderly.

"Adi, I want to be friends with you. I'm a good friend to have. I'll cover for you, have your back, be loyal and everything."

"What are we, Naina, LKG students?" he replied amused.

I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up to go.

"Is your ex... no more?" asked Neha, and I almost laughed.

"She's married."

"Sorry," Neha said, but she sounded anything but sorry.

"I still think of her, imagine what she would say or do. I even talk to her pictures," Advik said, his voice slightly louder as though he wanted me to hear it.

"That's creepy, dude. She's married, let her go. You need to accept that, or you're not going to get out of this funk," Neha told him. The kid had more sense than I had given her credit for.

"I'll never let her go. I promised her that I would never let her go."

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want the gossip mill to know that I was the mystery girl that Adi was hung up on. But I couldn't stop myself from impulsively reacting.

"Maybe you should have treated her better when you had her. With trust and respect. There's no use in holding on to her when she is happy with someone who actually gives a crap about how she is feeling rather than how she makes you feel." The words, once they started, wouldn't stop. Neha and Gina looked at me wide-eyed but did not interrupt.

"Just move on!" I said in frustration, slamming my fist on the table and then shaking it in pain.

"Naina..." he whispered.

"What?" I asked loudly. "Just what, Adi?"

He looked straight into my eyes and swallowed. "Naina, I love her. I am taking all the steps possible to become a better person. Nia, I will be better, and when I am, I'm going to come for her with everything I have. It doesn't matter to me if she has a husband or even children. No matter how long it takes. I'll come and get her. And if I don't have her, I won't want to exist."

I looked at him, stunned. It was just us here now. Adi and Nia. Naina and Advik. Like it had always been. Like it would always be.

"If you leave me, I will kill myself."

"Never say that. Promise me, Adi, you'll never say or do something like that."

I realized I had taken several steps toward him. I reached my hand out, and he met me halfway. I held his hand in both mine. I looked at him, my eyes pleading with his.

"You love me enough to let me go," I whispered to him. I could barely make out his features through my tears. I could barely feel beyond the pain in my heart. "You know what you promised me?" I whispered, and he shook his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "You promised me that no matter what happens, what we had would mean something to you, that you would move forward. That you would keep trying to be better. Will you keep that promise, Adi?"

My vision cleared as the tears that had filled my eyes rolled down.

I vaguely saw him nod.

"I love... I love Zayne. He's my husband. He's good to me, Adi. He treats me well, he makes me happy," I told him, and he looked at me, his lips quivering. So much pain in his face, I could barely stop myself from hugging him just to take his pain away.

"But I wouldn't be able to live with myself in a world where you don't exist. I will never be able to find happiness." I told him, not knowing how I was even able to form words, the way my heart felt like lead. "You love me enough to want me to find happiness, Adi, and I can't find happiness if you..." my voice broke. I took another deep breath. I could feel the panic coming in. "You and I weren't right for each other, Adi," I started.

"Don't say that," he said softly, "I'll let you go, Nia. I won't bother you again, but don't say you and I weren't right. It's just you for me, Nia. But I'll let you go. I love you. So much. I love you, Nia," he wiped his tears.

"I love you," I responded but clapped my hand over my mouth. I hadn't meant to say it out loud. He watched me for a few seconds. It felt like he was taking me through everything we had been through together. The friendship, the music, the romance, the dreams, the heartbreak, and everything in between.

"Adi, let me go. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy. And you do too. So stop punishing yourself. And me," I finally said.

I needed to leave as the library came into focus again, the faces of people at the neighboring tables all turned towards us.

How do you say goodbye to someone who is no longer allowed to have a place in your heart? A handshake? A hug?

"Go to CCD, Adi." With that, I turned, got on my bike, and went home.

I let myself in and saw Zayne resting on the bed.

He took one look at me and patted the space next to him on the bed. I dropped my bag and climbed in next to him, throwing my arms around him, placing my head on his chest. He held me close as I sobbed onto his chest. He asked me no questions but gently brushed my hair with his fingers until my sobs died down.

"Adi spoke to me at the library," I told him.

He kissed my forehead. "Want me to beat him up?" he asked, and I laughed through my tears.

I had Zayne. Zayne would never break my heart the way Adi did.

Zayne and Naina.

We'll be okay. I hugged him harder, and he climbed over me. I closed my eyes and let him kiss me passionately, taking my pain away, one kiss at a time.

.