She stopped sobbing, but it still banged his ears and blamed him for hurting her like that. He was angry with her. But he didn't mean to hurt her like that. When he saw her next to him after a long time, his whole body came alive and reminding him that he was still living on the earth. But how could he explain this to her? He took the food plate and walked toward the room where his wife was sleeping.

"Ani..." He called her gently when he sat next to her when she was sleeping. Looking at her face, he realized how much he yearned to see this face. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at him blankly.

"Get up! I brought soup for you." He said and held her up to sit on the bed. Then he took the food tray on his lap and fed her. She didn't protest but had it without complaining, he knew how much she hated broccoli soup, but he fed her to get rid of her weakness soon.

"Feeling better?" He asked, she nodded and wiped her mouth.

"Did you have anything?" She asked him in return.

"Yes." He lied, the truth was he didn't have anything till now and the time was past lunch hour. She didn't reply but gazed at him and here she goes again, she found out he was lying.

"Wait here!" Anika got down from the bed, while before Nurse took the syringe from her vein and she stood up. He tried to stop her, but she didn't stop. Instead, he followed to the kitchen.

"I am making up." She informed. The only thing she knew to cook, the only food he had from her making, in these 3 years, he never attempted to even order that food in these 3 years, but now, like her, upma also made a re-entry to his life. He just smiled at his fate.

"What are you thinking?" She asked while adding mustard to the oiled pan, which splashed out, but she became an expert and added the chopped onions to it. The way she held the pan and stirred and tasted the food was recorded inside in his heart.

"Have it, I have tasted it, it's not a tragedy." She said and fed him a spoon full of upma. He chuckled and have it from her hand, tears triggered inside him, but he stopped himself from breaking down. He felt like his emotions getting triggered by her every action.

"Like me, you also just become alright, so stop being so careless." She said and fed him the other spoon. He smilingly had it from her hands, only he knew how much he was happy.

"Okay, Madam." He said and pinched her cheek when he found her so cute. She smiled back at him and took an own bite of her upma.

"Nice, no?" She asked him, praising her dish as she always does. He jumped and sat on the counter slab of their kitchen and grabbed the bowl from her hand. She didn't deny it but looked at him with a smile, in no time, she placed her palm on his cheek, rose, and kissed his forehead. He felt a chill in his whole body when he felt her kiss after a long time. He was stunned.

"Nice try! But you won't get it back." He said which made her chuckle.

"I know it's not that much tasty." She said chuckling.

"But it tastes like heaven to me." He said taking a huge bite. She didn't say anything but smiled at him. That smile told him that she was hiding something from him. But he stayed silent.

***

Guilt held her to the peak, she lied to him, she lied to him about his daughter. But she didn't have many options left in her, she saw how he reacted to that information when she said it in the first place, and she could still feel the pain all over. With the incidents that happened, she understood one thing, that he was not mentally stable to manage this situation. With a google search, she found that it was an overly critical situation and she had to seek help from a psychiatrist as soon as possible. While then, she felt him holding her tight and bringing her back to reality. They were sitting on the couch holding each other close to themselves.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked her calmly.

"Ask" She replied to him with a smile.

"If you want me this much in life, why didn't you come earlier instead you asked for a divorce." He asked, her heart almost skipped a beat when she realized that was his question last night which led her to the revelation of their daughter. But now, he asked the same question, she felt like life was giving her a second chance to make it right this time. But how?

"Hmm... Do you think taking divorce from you was my intention?" She asked him back, but he didn't answer but looked at her blankly.

"If I want a divorce from you, I would have asked for it before 3 years. Why will I ask now? Have you ever tried to think in this way?" She asked him back. He was stunned to hear that, and he didn't take his eyes off her.

"Remember, how I used to be very dependent on you after grandma's death? I needed you for every damn thing, I couldn't even breathe without you." She said, her eyes welled up when she recalled those things again, she was at her weakest and her mind worked against her when she decided to leave him.

"I know it's normal to feel insecure, but I felt like you are getting irritated, and If I continue, I thought you will leave me for sure," Anika said.

"I didn't get irritated." He spoke.

"I know, but my mind was unstoppable during that time. Adding fuel, I got to know about Subash and the film. I had no idea how to react to this, the first thing that brought up inside my mind was to leave you before you get tired, and wanted to give up on this relationship. My insecurities eventually paved the way for it." She said, wiping off the tears from her eyes. There was only silence from his side, he didn't react anything. For a while, she got scared that he won't believe her explanation.

"I shouldn't have let you go..." Finally, she heard his words. She was overwhelmed when she heard those words from him. She raised her head and looked at him, he looked down at her. In no moment, she buried her face in his chest and hugged him tightly.

"At least, you shouldn't have disappeared from the world." She said holding him tight.

"I couldn't... All I wanted to hide, I want to go the place where nobody has an idea, I chose this place..." He said, he didn't open up about his stepbrother or about the betrayal he faced, but Anika understood and didn't ask him anything instead. But promised herself instead, whatever happened, she never let him go from her.

"Ani." He called.

"Hmm" She responded. He didn't speak but pulled her palm and placed it on his lips and kissed it. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she eventually widened her arms and invited him to hug her tight and buried his face in her chest crook.

"Miss you won't justify my yearning for you." He whispered. Anika wanted to say the same, but she stayed silent, her mind got revolved around his condition and but now, his touch didn't make her suffer. But soon, she needs to find a solution for it.

***

Anika couldn't sleep, her heart thudded against her chest overall the night, but he held her tight to his side and slept, she could feel his breaths on her side neck. They had dinner together but mostly they were silent and didn't communicate much. She asked about his work, he was very fascinated to explain what he was doing, and she smiled along with him. But her mind was in deep confusion, she had no idea to whom she should consult. While then, her mind produced a solution. Dr. Shyam. The one who helped her with her intrusive thoughts, the doctor she consulted for four years straight from the moment she realized that she needs help with her mental state.

Shivaay moved away from her when she sat on their bed and took her phone out, she prayed to all the gods that he should have a solution for shivaay's solution. When she was about to press the call icon, she saw the time. It was eleven at the night, and she knew how much they were close to each other, it won't be right to call him at that time, she won't want to intrude on his personal space. So, she decided to leave him a message.

"Hello, Doctor. Hope you're doing great. I know it's been an exceedingly long time, but I need your help. Please call me whenever you're up."

"What happened?" She heard Shivaay's voice out of a sudden. He was awake, most importantly, in his consciousness.

"Nothing, I have to send some mails." She replied to him when she saw him fully awake.

"Mails?" Shivaay asked her back in a sleepy tone.

"Resignation mail." She replied. A wide smile formed on his sleepy face but soon it got disappeared.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I have you now to take care of my expenses, I should say this, you are going to suffer a lot because of me." She said and kept her phone aside. She crawled downwards and hugged him tightly.

"You don't have to do this. I know how you value your career in your life." He said, his tone telling her that it was just his lips saying but his heart asking her to stay, she pulled her up and saw him.

"I don't know you're this much stingy. Let me remind your own words, whatever yours is ours." She said in her cheeky tone, he chuckled up to her expectation and planted a tight kiss on her forehead before wrapping his arms around her.

"It's not only about money, which was not my kind of job." She replied to him honestly, money was the only driving reason for her in the past three years, also she got her daughter, and she couldn't even think about resigning, but now, things changed she can easily resign from her job.

"Then fine..." He said and heaved out a deep breath.

"Also, I hate this room," Anika said to him.

"Why?" He asked slightly breaking the hug.

"There are no windows, also dark, why do you have to choose this room particularly when you have other three rooms which are very bright compared to others." She asked him and tried to have a normal conversation with him.

"You want to change the room?" He asked her.

"Very badly." She spoke.

"Okay, I will ask Khanna, he will do the needful." He said, Anika, pinched him in his arm which made him shout in pain.

"Is he going to live with us?" She asked in a rude tone. In their last conversation, he would have taken Khanna's name at least a thousand times.

"No..." He replied to her.

"Then why are you involving him?" She asked him.

"Because he's a good helper." He replied to him.

"Even he has a private life," Anika argued.

"Okay, what's your plan?" He asked her finally.

"Tomorrow we are going shopping." She informed.

"As per your order, mam." He replied and pulled her back to his chest when she protested to hug him back.

***

He patted her arm, till she found some solace, her eyes automatically shut, but he couldn't sleep, whenever he tried to sleep, he felt suffocated inside and his nightmare started to haunt him. Last night, he couldn't forget how he fought with himself to wake up from that darkness. He felt possessed and someone else ruling him the entire night, he couldn't figure out what was happening, but he felt his body was aching to the core when he woke up in the morning. And now, after seeing his wife next to him, he got scared, he didn't want to hurt her. That thought kept him awake.

Left with no options, he opened the drawer next to him and take out his Anti-depressant pills outside. It was not his first time using it, but he was using it regularly for the past year when he felt insomniac. Even now, when he has nothing to get depressed about, he felt the urge to have it. He slowly crawled down and filled the water in the glass and took two pills from the bottle without letting his wife know anything about it. While then, he felt a sudden moment in the bed, when he turned back, he saw Anika all awake and staring at the situation.

"What are you doing?" She asked him. He didn't know what to answer but he gave the pills to her when she forwarded her hand. She glanced at the pills and looked at him. Her eyes welled up in a second and he didn't want that to happen.

"This is not your fault." He said cupping her face in-between his palms when she couldn't match her eyelids with him.

"How long have you been taking these pills?" Anika asked him while wiping off her tears.

"One year!" He said honestly.

"I couldn't be able to sleep." He added to her when she stared at him with her painful gazes.

"Even now, you couldn't be able to sleep?" She asked him.

"Yes..." He replied.

"But you slept in the hospital." Anika reasoned.

"It's because of sedatives doctors prescribed. Now I should no longer use that." He replied to her.

"But I promise, I will never take these pills ever. We will find a permanent solution for it. Let's consult a doctor." He added when she sobbed silently looking at the pills. She nodded to him and wiped her eyes off.

"Let's do this first in the morning." She whispered. He agreed, she walked away to the kitchen and brought a glass full of milk to him.

"Let's try this..." She said and asked him to have it. He didn't have the heart to say that he tried everything, only these pills will put him to sleep. She turned on rain sounds on her phone and made him keep his head on her lap.

"Please try to sleep tonight, we will find a solution tomorrow." She said and kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes; he knew he can't sleep but he can act before her. He stayed in her lap for a while, when he tried to crawl away from her, she caught him again.

"It's not working, right." She asked him and she sounded extremely disappointed. He had to open his eyes, he witnessed her in a very messy state. Her eyes turned red when it affected her sleeping cycle, if he leaves her, her blood pressure again gets dropped. Never on earth did he want to experience the situation like today morning. He sat on the bed the next moment.

"Anu, it's getting late, leave me, you sleep. Otherwise, you get sick again..." He said when his heartfelt heavy seeing her condition.

"Shivaay..." She held his palms. "I have seen other options on the internet, can we do that?" She asked him. There was some disturbance glittering in her eyes, but he asked her to continue. She scratched her side head and took a deep breath.

"Shall we have sex?" She asked him which left him stunned for a while.

"I saw it was recommended option to get sleep quickly." She reasoned, but he was still stunned by her question, but his body reacted opposite.

Before he couldn't react anything to her question, she decreased the distance between them and slightly tilted her head to kiss him. Her eyes were closed when she kissed him, he felt her lips, but his lips didn't move. But she didn't stop, instead, she moved further closer and sat on his lap while kissing him on his ear and trailing down his neck. He felt overwhelmed when he realized she was ready to do anything for him, even his hormones got charged, but he didn't want that, his mind was particular about that.

"Ani..." He stopped her when she tried to take off his t-shirt breaking the kiss. Her eyes also got welled up.

"Please... I don't want to force you into this." He said, he couldn't help his flowing tears.

"I am not forced, I am willing... It's you..." She said and cupped his face.

"Please... Anu... I won't be able to forgive myself if I got involved in this." He held her palms which were on his cheeks. Tears crossed her eyes, but she again placed her lips against his, this time, he didn't stop himself, but kissed her back, because he knew she got convinced with his reason.

"Please remember one thing! My values, my principles, and my life were nothing important compared to you in my life. And keep this in your mind, it was you whom I will choose out of everything in the world even we have our future kids in the option. Keep this always in your mind, Anika can't breathe without you." She said breaking the kiss.

****