When I enter my parent's house, it's completely dark and drenched in the quiet of everyone sleeping, warm in their beds. I kick my heels off and place one tired foot in front of the other to head for my room. For the next few hours, I don't want to think about what happened with Enzo at the charity event or the strange turn in intimacy with Kyle.

I just want to sleep. 

However, my brother has other plans. Apparently, I'm a teenager again, and he thinks he's my dad because as soon as I step into my room, I hear a click as the lamp on my nightstand turns on. Amber light blooms across Lucas, sitting on the bed with legs crossed. 

He folds his arms. "Where have you been?"

"Bloody hell..." I close the door and lean my forehead against it. I just want to sleep.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" I whip around.

"Don't act stupid with me. Where have you been, and whose car did you park in the driveway?"

"My car," I say, and walk to my dresser. 

"Your car? With what money."

"Don't worry about it," I pull an oversized sleep shirt out of the drawer. 

"Did he pay for it?" 

"Who?" 

"Enzo Esposito."

Sighing I brace my palms against the dresser. "Can you like, close your eyes or something? I want to get out of this dress and into my jammies." 

"Huh?" 

"Look away."

Lucas scoffs. "I wiped your spoiled ass when you were a baby. It's nothing I haven't seen." 

"Yeah, but the landscape has changed since then. Now, look away."

"Whatever!" 

I glance over my shoulder and he's shifted to face the wall. His arms are still folded, and there might as well be steam flowing out of his nose with his dramatic sulking.

"Mara, you don't understand the world you've stepped foot in. Enzo Esposito is not someone you want to entangle yourself with. His uncle—"

"Is a mobster?" I walk up to my brother, tugging my shirt on and smoothing it down. 

"Yeah." He sneaks a peak, sees I'm dressed, and shifts to face me again. "Which means—"

"Which means nothing. Enzo is not his uncle. You on the other hand..." I fold my arms. "Why does Augusta Abramovitz speak about you like she's your boss?"

Lucas furrows his brows. "What are talking about?" 

"Don't act stupid with me. I was at a charity event earlier, and overheard her tell Enzo that she has you looking for the person who murdered all those women."

"You... must have misheard." He shakes his head and stands. 

"No, I didn't. Why does she want you, of all people, to find him?" 

"Mara, you misheard her!" he barks and brushes past me, but I slide in front of him.

"Where are you going? I thought you wanted to talk?"

"Yes, about you, and why the hell you're gallivanting around the city with a man who is old enough to be your father! Because to me it looks like you're—"

"Don't you dare say it!" I glare.

"Say what?"

"Call me a prostitute."

He reels back. "Why would I call you that?"

"Why not? Lydia did."

"Wait... Lydia already knew about Enzo? Before me?" Lucas points at his chest, and there's a tinge of hurt in his expression. He's usually the first person I tell my secrets to. Sometimes even before Anika. He waves his hands, shaking his head. "You know what, we're getting off track."

"No shit. Because we need to get back to the part where you're an errand boy for Augusta Abramovitz who according to Enzo isn't someone you want to fuck with."

"Language!"

"Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I throw my hands in the air. "Stop lying to me."

"I'm not the one hiding things. Unlike you."

"I'm not either," I laugh. "If I was, I wouldn't have parked my new car in the driveway for everyone to see. You're the one with secrets and who everyone gossips about at work. Not me."

"Alright then." Lucas arches a brow and folds his arms with a smirk. "Tell me your secret, Mara, and I'll tell you mine."

It appears my brother underestimates me, and thinks I'll back off from our little game of truths. However, he should know by now that I'm stubborn, and refuse to back down when cornered. So, I straighten my shoulders and look him in the eyes.

"Ok, Lucas. Let's play our game." I hold out my hands, palms up, and wait for him to place his hands over mine. 

There's hesitation in the slight tilt of his head as he studies me, but then he slaps his palms against mine and wraps his fingers around my wrists. I do the same. 

We're locked in. 

There's no turning back.

"On the count of three..." he says, looking into my eyes. There's still uncertainty in his, but he can't back down now. 

That's our rule.

We count to three and then I blurt out that Enzo is paying me to go on dates with him. Despite the atomic boom in my chest from how hard my heart is beating, I don't miss the part where my brother spouts that he's a hitman.

My jaw drops, but I grip his wrists tighter. "A... wa-what?" 

Lucas's jaw tenses, and he says through his teeth, "Murder for hire. A contract killer."

Tears sting my eyes and I yank my hands away. Lucas steps back, avoiding my gaze like he's suddenly ashamed. A hitman! Am I on drugs? Because this must be a fever dream. 

But...

It's the absolute truth. That's how our game works. We don't hold back no matter what. Even if it hurts. 

"Please say something," he whispers.

"Why?" my voice cracks. "Why do you do it? Of all the things you could do."

"Because years ago when mom was battling breast cancer, and medical bills were piling up, and the bank was threatening to foreclose the house, I couldn't stand by and watch. I had to do something. Long story short, I met the Abramovitz sisters, and they got me connected—"

"To kill people!?"

"No. At first, I just went around picking up rent money from their tenants. From there, I got deeper and deeper into their world, and suddenly, getting paid to kill rapists and child abusers didn't seem so bad."

"And this is why Augusta has you out there looking for that monster."

"Yes." He nods.

"You warned me not to work at Penthouse. Is this why?"

"Yes." He nods again. "It's too easy to get sucked into the darkness that place hides... you don't even know the half of it, Mara." He runs a trembling hand through his hair with a jagged exhale. "That place is an iceberg. This is why you need to stay away from Enzo."

"Enzo isn't a bad person." I shake my head and wipe my eyes. "He would never put me in harm's way."

Lucas tightens his jaw. "I'm not a bad person either, Mara."

"I'm not sure what you are right now."

"I'm your brother." He braces my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. "This doesn't change anything."

"Yes, it does."

"Ok, what about you, hypocrite." He folds his arms. 

"What about me?"

"You go on dates with an older man, who's family has a sketchy history, and he pays you. You're not innocent, but I can look past it and still see you—my little sister. Why can't you do the same for me?"

"The difference is, I'm not getting paid to kill people."

He grabs my shoulders again and narrows his eyes. "This is how it starts, Mara, and then one day you wake up realizing your moral compass is fucked."

"Language." I mock him and shrug away.

"I'm serious! It's all good fun getting paid to be someone's arm candy, but this is how women get sucked into prostitution. Next thing you know, you have a pimp, and you're shooting drugs into your veins."

"Oh, get real." I roll my eyes. "Don't be so dramatic."

"I mean it, Mara. I rationalized becoming a hired gun so I could help Mom when she had cancer. I did what I did so I could help Lydia get out of her abusive marriage. And I continue to do it because Dad has dementia, and my little sister was mugged!"

This infuriates me, so I shove his chest with a growl, "You're not Batman! I don't need you to find my attacker. I'm good, thank you. So, take your hero complex and ram it up your ass."

"Mara..." Lucas flexes his fingers at his sides. "You're acting like a naive brat right now, and you're not listening. You need to stay away from Enzo. He might be a businessman, but his uncle is a criminal, and I don't want you getting sucked into that world any more than you already have. So, please, stop being stubborn, and listen to me."

"Well, guess what, Lucas? Enzo and I had a falling out this evening. So, you have nothing to worry about. Now, please get out of my room so I can sleep." I point toward the door.

"A falling out?" His brows furrow. 

"Yes. So, I won't be seeing him again, which means you can stop worrying about me."

"I'll always worry about you."

"And now I'll always worry about you! Are you going to stop being a hitman?"

He takes a deep breath, "Mara, I..."

"I'll take that as a no."

"It's complicated. There's so much going on at the moment. I can't just stop."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you."

"Fine. Get the fuck out." I point to the door again.

"Mara, come on..."

"No. OUT."

"Fine." He swings open the door but pauses to face me. "I love you, Mara, and I'd do anything to protect you. Please know that."

"Whatever." I shove him into the hallway and shut him out.

I think I officially hate everything about tonight.

◇◇◇

It's been a few days since I last saw Enzo, and despite exchanging a few texts with Kyle, I haven't seen him either. So, I'm not sure what to do about the men in my life. Including my brother. I keep dodging him because I'm still unpacking our conversation from the other night. Not to mention, Lucas will want more answers about my relationship with Enzo.

If I even still have one with him.

Perhaps I overreacted? Enzo was blindsided just like I was. Yet I treated him poorly and I can't talk to my friends about it because they'll worry about my safety, considering Enzo's family history. And there is no way in hell I can speak a word about my brother moonlighting as a damn hitman. So, I tell them about my night with Kyle instead, and they drink up the juicy details while we eat lunch.

"What are you gonna do about him?" Anika cuts into the blackened salmon on her salad.

"I don't know. Apologize to Kyle for making things awkward?" 

"Don't apologize," Keira says. "Wait for him to contact you. You don't want to look desperate. Play the game."

"I don't want to play games. It's so juvenile," I groan.

"But you like him, right?"

"I do."

"Then give him a chance." Keira shrugs. "We all have our kinks, and now he knows you don't like that kind of stuff."

"I don't know..." Anika teeters her head. "I don't like how cold he was to Mara afterward."

"He was probably embarrassed." Keira shrugs again. "Give the guy a chance before we condemn him for one weird night."

"Nah, dump him," Delilah says, scrolling on her phone.

"Dump him?" I squeak.

"Yeah," she replies, as if the solution is obvious. "He made you uncomfortable. Enough said."

"Del, you don't just give the boot after one weird night," Keira laughs. 

"Uh, yeah you do. Life is too short to put up with bullshit. Plus, he doesn't even have social media."

"So?"

"What do you mean, so?" Delilah sets her phone down with a clang as if Keira is being absurd. "Who doesn't have social media in this day in age? Even my grandparents have Instagram."

"I don't have social media," Damon, Anika's new boyfriend says, and we all turn to him. I had forgotten he was having lunch with us because of how quiet he's been. Damon wipes his mouth with a laugh, and dimples appear on his smooth brown cheeks. "What? I don't have time for it. Besides, when I did have social media, I received countless thirst trap DMs from women who probably wanted to scam me. So, I don't see a point. Maybe Kyle is the same way." 

Delilah shakes her head. "All I'm saying is, having no social media is a red flag for me. It says a guy has something to hide. No offense, Damon."

"None taken."

"Look at Enzo, for example. His Instagram is public, which means I don't have to dig very far to learn what kind of man he is, and based on his posts, he's pretty harmless."

"But anyone can create a fake persona online," Damon says, and Delilah nods.

"True, but you also don't have to search very far to discover that Enzo's online persona matches the information out there about him. Whereas with Kyle, my Google searches come up empty."

I toss my napkin down. "You did NOT do one of your Google dives on him!" 

"Of course I did, Mara. And the only thing I could find was the website for his family's hotel empire. His name is listed on the 'About Us' page, but no photo, which is suspicious to me."

"How so?" Keira asks.

"Everyone is Googleable. Everyone. So, I would expect a lot more searches to pop up for someone whose family owns a well-known hotel chain. Not just one website and no photo."

"Maybe the guy is private?" Damon suggests.

Delilah takes a sip of her iced tea and goes back to scrolling on her phone. "...Or maybe someone paid big bucks to scrub him from Google searches." 

"I hate to say it, but Del has a point." Anika eyes me across the table, and despite the concern on her face, and the twisting in my belly, I look away and take a bite of my burger.

I also think of my brother. He has social media, but no one at this table would ever guess he gets paid to kill people. Hell, I share DNA with the guy, and I had no idea.

"Oh, my god," Keira rolls her eyes. "You guys need to chill. Kyle is hot as hell, and if you don't want Mr. Tall and Sexy then hand him over to me. I'll play whatever blindfolding games he wants!"

"Slut," Delilah snorts.

"Takes one to know one," Keira sticks her tongue out.

Anika facepalms herself. "Damon, please excuse my embarrassing friends. They love behaving like five years olds."

"They're fine," he laughs, then looks at his watch. "Besides, we gotta wrap this up. It's time to head back."

"Ugh, why did we go into medicine again?" Anika groans. "Medical school is kicking my ass." 

The conversation moves on from me, which I'm grateful for as my best friend tells us about her latest adventures in becoming a doctor. 

I'm relieved. 

Yet, still conflicted about the men in my life. If Kyle messages, what do I say? How long should I go no contact with Enzo? And more importantly, how do I juggle knowing what I now know about my brother?