The next thing Marvin knew it was daytime and he was standing in the middle of an interstate wearing nothing but his underwear. He squinted his eyes at the bright sunlight and tried to remember how he had ended up here when a car honked its horn and swerved out of the way, just missing him by a few inches.

"Hey, why don't you watch where you're going, pal?" he shouted after it.

Then he got clobbered by a semi.

He was solid enough to inflict some serious damage to the frame of the truck, but the impact still sent him flying headfirst into a nearby barrier wall which collapsed into a pile of broken bricks. In the meantime a twenty car pileup had formed behind the suddenly topped semi and effectively blocked all the lanes.

"Nobody worry, I'm okay," Marvin said as he pulled himself from the rubble.

The truck had burst into flames and the driver managed to pull himself loose from the wreckage, but not before he, too, had caught on fire.

"Stop, drop, and roll, dude!" Marvin cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted at him. He didn't remember much from his school days, but at least he remembered what to do when you were on fire and he was glad he could be of service to this man in his current predicament.

Confident that he'd done his good deed for the day, he set off walking away from the wreckage down the now empty freeway, whistling a merry little tune to himself.

He walked down an exit ramp and found himself at a corner gas station with a convenience store. It was pretty hot out and he was feeling kind of thirsty, so he walked on into the store.

There was an electronic ringing noise as he entered and a blast of cool air hit him, which felt really good.

"Hey!" the man behind the counter shouted at him. "Didn't you read the sign? No shirt, no shoes, no service!"

"Oh yeah, about that," Marvin said. "So I was smoking meth with some chick last night. Never did catch her name, but she seems to have absconded with my clothes. Luckily I didn't have my wallet with me, but I really did like that t-shirt. But anyway, as you can plainly see it's not my fault that I don't have a shirt and shoes, so I was hoping you could do me a solid and bend the rules for me just this once. I won't tell if you don't. So anyway, could you hook me up with a blue slushee and maybe a pack of smokes? I don't have any money right now, because like I said, I forgot my wallet at home and also I'm not wearing pants, but my brother's Megafantastic Man and he's good for it. Oh yeah, and also if you carry those little bottles of vodka, I'll take one of those to dump in the slushee. A bit of the hair of the dog that bit ya, if you know what I mean."

"Sir, you need to leave immediately or I'm calling the police."

"Whoa, man. There's no need to get the authorities involved here. I'll just take the slushee and maybe a six pack of beer and I'll be on my way. It's not like you'll really be losing money on the deal. How much does a slushee cost corporate anyway? Like two cents a cup? And then they jack up the price like nine hundred percent and pass it on to the customer. It's a total ripoff, man. I'm onto the slushee price gouging conspiracy and I say, enough! You should totally treat yourself to a slushee while you're at it. Stick it to the Man, am I right?"

The clerk pulled out a baseball bat and slammed it on the counter. "I'm the owner of this store and I don't cotton with people trying to take money out of my kids' college funds. You've got three seconds to get out of here or I'm coming over there and bashing your skull in!"

"Hey, there's no reason to talk to me like that. I've been nothing but nice and polite since I walked in here. Is this how you treat all your customers? Because I've got half a mind to log onto yelp after this and give you one heck of a negative review, mister. And just because of your surly attitude, I'm helping myself to a couple of the three cent pieces of Bazooka gum. You can go ahead and just deduct that out of your kids' college fund!" Marvin unwrapped some gum pieces and shoved them into his mouth.

"That does it! Don't say I didn't warn you!" The clerk came out from behind the counter wielding the bat and charged at Marvin. The bat connected with Marvin's head and snapped in half.

"Ow, man! That hurt! How do you like it if I shove you across the room?"

Marvin thrust his hands into the clerk's shoulders, sending him flying through the air and knocking over several aisles of shelves, scattering their contents across the floor. He finally smacked into one of those big round, security mirrors that were affixed in the store, putting a big crack in it.

"Damn it, man, you made me swallow my gum! Don't you know it stays in your stomach for seven years? That's the other thing I still remember from school, along with that stop, drop, and roll stuff. Seven years! Speaking of which, you're due for seven years of bad luck for breaking that mirror, dude. By the time your luck finally gets better, that's when I'll finally be digesting this gum. Jeez. I'd say you owe me that slushee now, fool."

The clerk let out a little incoherent groan from the floor, where he was still collapsed in a heap.

Marvin walked over to the slushee dispenser, grabbed an extra large cup, and filled it to the top.

"And just to show you I'm a good dude, even though you were a total dick to me, I'll allow you to advertise that Megafantastic Man's brother shopped in your store. That ought to give you a big increase in business."

The clerk groaned again.

"Good day to you, too, sir," Marvin said as he strode out the door slurping on his slushee.

That was when Megafantastic Man caught up to him.

"Oh, hey, bro," Marvin said. "Good to see you. Welcome to Stockton! Did you know Stockton is the meth capital of the Central Valley? I sampled its wares personally last night and I can say this city has earned its reputation. I bet meth heads travel here from far and wide to experience Stockton's finest."

"Shut up, Marvin," Megafantastic Man said.

"Okay, bro, you got it. Zipping the lips. Right now."

"You've created a lot of trouble for me, Marvin. Besmirched my reputation. Left a trail of devastation and destruction in your wake. And I hear you let a child murderer escape from prison?"

"He's a child cannibal, too. Don't forget that part. But don't worry, because I'm hot on his trail. He thinks he can give me the slip, but he doesn't know what he's dealing with here."

"Marvin."

"Shutting up again," Marvin said.

"So it wasn't easy, but I took care of the situation. It took a lot of convincing to clear my name after you dragged it through the mud, but I finally got them to believe you and I are different people and you were the one they'd had in custody. Finally, against my better judgment, I pulled some strings and called in some favors and got them to drop all charges against you. This Dr. Magnus creep is still on the loose and I promised them we'd get him back in custody, but other than that you're in the clear."

"That's awesome, bro. Thanks for taking care of me. So what kind of strings did you pull? Did you call Dad?"

"Yes, I called Dad!" Megafantastic Man snapped. "He had a few words with them and everything got smoothed over. Speaking of which, Dad wants to talk to you. In person."

"Uh oh. That doesn't sound good," Marvin said. "I haven't seen Dad in person in, like, five years. Not since he injected me with the super serum."

"Yeah, well he wants to see you immediately. And he doesn't seem happy."

Marvin gulped. He really didn't like when Dad wasn't happy.