FIVE YEARS AGO

"Yeah, so anyway I've been fired from internships with three congressmen, a couple of bigtime corporate lawyers, a large publishing firm, and the Pope. He fired me personally. Oh yeah, and my Dad's the big boss here at Biogenetics Inc. So as you can see I'm a pretty big deal around here."

The secretary Marvin was trying to flirt with rolled her eyes and took a drink from her coffee mug.

"Oh, I see you've got that delightful orange cartoon cat who hates Mondays on your cup. I, too, hate Mondays. Is it just me or does it feel like there's some kind of destiny at work here?"

"Whatever, mailboy," the secretary sneered. "You said you had some interoffice memo for Mr. Jenkins?"

"I sure do," Marvin beamed as he reached into his mail cart. "It's right here."

"This says it's for Mr. Friedley in accounting."

"It does? But I was just at his office dropping off a memo for him. That doesn't make any sense. I remember it because it was covered in stamps that said 'Highly Classified' and 'Unauthorized Reads Will Be Penalized by Fates Worse Than Death (or Possibly Just Death).' Say, you don't suppose I got the memos mixed up, do you? I took the liberty of taking the memo out of the envelope and set it on the desk for Mr. Friedley so he wouldn't risk getting a papercut when he opened it. Because I always say go the extra mile when you're providing a service for people. You don't think poor Mr. Friedley read something he wasn't supposed to, do you? I'd hate to get him in trouble. He seems like such a nice old man."

There was a loud cracking sound not unlike a gunshot coming from the direction of Mr. Friedley's office. A moment later a body covered in a sheet was rolled past on a wheeled gurney by two heavily armed security guards.

"Well, I hate to leave you just when we were hitting it off so swimmingly, but I'd better go make sure Mr. Friedley gets the correct memo." He hurried back towards the accounting department. The left front wheel on his cart was squeaking loudly and he made a mental note that he'd have to get one of the menial laborers in the custodial staff to oil it for him later.

He was startled by a loud crackling voice emerging from the intercom in the ceiling.

"MARVIN! DROP EVERYTHING AND REPORT TO THE MAIN OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!"

"Uh oh, am I in some kind of trouble?" he asked aloud as he headed toward the elevator. The main office was where Dad worked. Marvin never got summoned there except when he was in hot water. And not the normal everyday kind of hot water he usually found himself in. Dad couldn't be bothered with the rinky-dink stuff. He only got involved when it was something really serious. Marvin hadn't actually spoken to his father in person in over a year.

He rode in silence alone on the elevator up to the very top floor of the skyscraper. As the door opened to let him off he couldn't resist mashing all the buttons so the elevator would stop on every floor on its way back down.

"Tee-hee," he giggled.

He walked down the long narrow hallway that led to his father's office. His throat felt dry and his hands were sweaty. He didn't know he was going to be summoned in to see the old man today. In retrospect he probably shouldn't have eaten those magic mushrooms on his coffee break. He wasn't sure, but he thought they might be starting to kick in.

He paused outside the large oak double doors that led into Dad's office. The grain lines in the wood were starting to pulsate and swirl around of their own volition. As he stared at them he began to be convinced they were forming a spacetime portal into the infinitieth dimension. "Far out, bro," he said as he jaw hung agape.

He was snapped out of his psychedelic reverie when the door flew open suddenly.

"Marvin!" Dad snapped. "Why are you just standing there like a jackanape? Get in here. Now!"

"Yes, sir," Marvin gulped as he made his way inside.

Dad's office was spacious, but sparsely furnished. A thick shag green carpet covered the floor and most of the space was taken up by a gigantic, exquisitely carved wooden desk. One whole wall was nothing but a giant window that afforded a view of the entire city below and the ocean beyond.

There were important people in the world, and then there was Dad. Kings and Emperors kissed his feet and begged him for favors. He was known to buy and sell entire nations at a whim. If Dad wanted a mountain moved three inches to the left, literal squadrons of people would work tirelessly to make sure it was done by six a.m. the next day.

"How's it going, pops?" Marvin asked.

"Please have a seat, Marvin. There's something we need to discuss."

Marvin was about to ask if it had something to do with the fact that Dad's face was currently melting, but for once he actually stopped to think it over and realized it probably had something to do with the fact that he was tripping balls. Being in Dad's presence had a way of making him think twice before he spoke.

Aside from the fact that he currently looked like an elf from the planet Zenu to Marvin, Dad didn't appear to have changed much since the last time he'd seen him more than a year ago. His hair was maybe slightly more gray at the temples, but otherwise he remained in peak physical shape as always. He kept his hair cropped short and his mustache neatly groomed. His jawline was as square as a cement block and he had a large dimple in his chin. He still dressed immaculately in expensive three-piece suits that were tailored to fit his dimensions to a tee.

"Is this about the incident with Mr. Friedley in accounting?" Marvin asked. "Because I can explain."

"What?" Dad asked. "What incident with Mr. Friedley in accounting?" He pulled up a file on his desktop computer and his eyes scanned it back and forth. "Oh. Yes, I'm afraid you're going to have to be fired for that. But that isn't what I called you in here for today."

"It's not? Then is it about the cherry bomb I dropped in the fortieth floor men's bathroom? I know it ended up flooding the science lab, but it was hysterically funny. I mean, I laughed. Maybe you had to be there."

"Marvin, this is in regards to the super serum."

"I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything with that, although I was on a pretty wicked cocaine bender last Tuesday. It's possible that accidents could have happened."

"No, Marvin. Against my better judgment, it's time you were injected. You're of age now and it is your birthright, after all."

"It's about damn time," Marvin said. "How come I've had to wait so long? You injected my brother when he was, like, four years old."

"Your brother showed remarkable intelligence and maturity at a very young age. You, on the other hand, did not. I was really hoping you'd grow up and understand the magnitude of the responsibility the serum entails. But, alas, you have not. Nonetheless, I made a promise to your mother on her deathbed that you would receive the injection when you came of age. I've delayed it for as long as I could, but due to the love I bear your mother's memory, I can't in good conscience put it off any longer. Even as I can't in good conscience entrust a power this awesome to an utter fool."

"Sweet," Marvin said. "This power is going to be awesome. Like you just said."

"I've gone back and forth on this many times, Marvin. I know this is reckless and I'm possibly endangering the entire world by doing this. I rest a little easier knowing your brother is around to keep you in check. But the serum has come a long way in the twenty-plus years since he was injected. It's more powerful now. You have the potential to be akin to a god. It's possible that no force on Earth could be your equal. But I made a solemn promise to your mother and I must honor it. So all that's left for me is to appeal to your good conscience and better nature. Please take this seriously. You could do great works of good with the power that is about to be bestowed on you. If nothing else, do it for your mother. She believed in you and I hope you have the decency somewhere inside you to not want to let her down."

"Whoa," Marvin said as he stared at his hand while he waved it around in front of his face. "Check out all the tracers."

"Marvin, are you currently intoxicated?"

"Uh, I might have ingested a handful of shrooms a little while ago."

"For god's sake, Marvin! It's nine a.m.! How long do these things stay active in your system?"

"Uh, anywhere between like six to eight hours I guess. But between you and me my sense of time is all messed up right now. It seriously feels like we've been talking for, like, a hundred years."

"Okay, listen to me. We're going to send you down to the sub basement to detox for the next eight hours. Then we'll administer the injection. It's very important that you follow the instructions to the letter because it expires within twelve hours of exposure to air and I already instructed the scientists to prepare it for you. This is the last dose we have in the current batch and we won't have another one ready to go for upwards of a year. Under normal circumstances I'd welcome the delay, but I'd be violating the promise I made to your mother if I let it go for that long. So plain and simple, today is the day. Now it's very important that you let the serum run its course and don't introduce any other substances into your body during the time it's doing its work. We don't know how they could interact with the serum. They may cause it not to work properly or it may have some unpleasant side effects. So once you're injected we need you to go home and get in bed and just take it real easy for the next twenty-four hours. Do you understand?"

"Hell yeah," Marvin said. "Lazing around doing nothing is one of my top skills. Don't worry, Dad. I read you loud and clear. I won't do anything to mess up the serum and once I get my super powers, I'll make you proud of me. You'll see. This is going to be the best decision you ever made in your life!"

After Dad dismissed him from his office, Marvin rode the elevator down to the sub basement. Once it opened the doors to let him out, he mashed all the buttons on it again, so it would stop at every single floor on the way back up.

He giggled wildly to himself as he got off and found a comfy couch to park himself on for the next eight hours.