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1 year ago : August 29th 2019

Time seems to slow as we run down the hallways of Bridgewater Hospital.

The constant ringing in my ears makes my head thump.

And colours blur through the tears that are spilling from my eyes.

4 hours ago, my mum got a call saying Levi's in the hospital, hours away. She got told that last night he went missing in the lake and was found unconscious, a few miles from the Somerset beach house. Liam was with Levi but they still haven't been able to find him.

They don't even know if he's alive.

"JENNIFER!" my mum screams from across the hallway as my family sprints into the hospital corridors. The sound of sobs fills my ears, bawling over the constant ringing. Jennifer looks up from her seat on the bench, make up in black streaks down her face, newly reapplied mascara gone in seconds. People move out of their way as they clutch onto each other with desperation, not letting go even after my dad speaks up.

"Where's Levi?! Is he okay?!"

It's not often I see my dad get nervous.

But right now, I can see a line of sweat forming on his forehead as he checks the small window of the recovery room, searching for any sign of Levi. Door after door, he checks but turns back when he finds nothing. Ed shakes his head and points to a room around the corner.

Immediately, I look up in that direction. A sign on top of the door says 'operating room'. It looks dark since the windows are blacked out so you cant see inside. Locked with a key card system, the door is firmly shut.

The rest of the corridor is empty.

And the walls of the hospital look more bleak than ever.

Barely able to speak, Jennifer looks up at my dad to answer his question, "he- he's still i-in surgery...he h-hit his hard and, and I ddont know w-what's happeningg..." That's all she manages to get out before completely breaking down. Her clothes are old and stained with tear streaked makeup, "i-i was with themm m-moments before they- they went m-missing...how cc-could i let this h-happenn t-to my babies..."

Ed steps in, holding onto his wife's arm, "They say they found him a few miles away from the house, washed up on a beach...they haven't found Liam a-and they think he- he's..." He blinks out his tears, wiping his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. His eyes are bloodshot and he's flushed with a thin layer of sweat.

My brother runs a hand down his tired face which is wet from tears. He hugs his chest as he rocks back and forth, with eyes red from crying. The white walls of the hospital feel small and claustrophobic as people run back and forth.

Eyes shining with tears, I stare up at my dad, whose face is filled with worry, "Dad...what's happening...i- i don't understandd..."

Occasionally Jennifer and Ed get taken away to speak with the police about updates and to see if there's any information that can help them find Liam.

Over a series of hours, people come and go as we sit outside Levi's soon to be recovery room in patience. Tapping my foot on the floor, i sniffle into my fifth box of tissues. Closing my eyes, I attempt to sleep through the waiting but everytime i try, I just hear the sound of Liam screaming for help...

The odd doctor run in and out of the surgery room in the corridor next to us. Ed tries to stop them for updates but they just scurry off in a hurry. My mum tilts up head back, crying, while her best friend casts her eyes to the floor and sobs. She sits there against the wall, mumbling over and over about how bad of a mother she is.

"Liam...this is my fault...i- i need my baby...my son...where is he...W- WHERE'S MY BABY!" Jennifer clings onto her husband's t-shirt as she screams at a nearby police officer with devastation.

Ezra shakes with hopeless anguish as he clutches onto me where we sit against the wall.

The police officer looks pitifully in our direction, then points to the double doors behind us. Doctors run out and go in all directions while a few stay with us. Everything's a blur as Levi gets wheeled out with tubes attached to every inch of his body, while others gather various bits of equipment and medications. Relatives with bouquets and balloons charge in too while security attempts to hold them back. Ed and Jennifer quickly follow Levi into the recovery room after much attempt to keep them out.

"Levi...Levi...how is he? Someone tell me what's going on dad..." My eyes hurt from crying as I beg for any information. Squinting hard, my eyes hurt under the white fluorescent light which blinds me after being switched brighter.

My head feels light as I walk over to the window in Levi's room. Occasionally, I stumble and trip from the dizziness, but I carry on going, desperate to see him. My hands grip onto the window, pulling my body up to look inside.

Levi lays motionless on the hospital bed. His eyes are closed shut as he sleeps soundly, no awareness about what's going on. I can hear a steady beat on the heart rate monitor as it beeps constantly. Wires latch to his skin, which has gone pale and waxy under the harsh lights.

He looks dead.

"Levi..." I cry silently, as I stare inside the grim hospital room, "what happened..."

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For the 4th time this hour, Liam's face is plastered on the national news. Everybody, everywhere, is looking for him. Taking the remote in my hand, I turn up the sound so I can hear what they're saying.

"Last seen at a friend's beach house in Somerset, Liam Hayes went missing from their docks with his brother, Levi and hasn't been located. The older Hayes brother was found hours ago in a nearby beach after a frenzied storm, however we still haven't got information on the whereabouts of the younger brother.

The Somerset Police have asked for assistance in locating the missing 11 year old boy, Liam Hayes. The 5'4, 132 pound boy - who has dark brown hair and blue eyes - was last seen at around 1am on Sunday night on the docks surrounding the private beach house.

Police say the boy and his brother have no history of running away or sudden disappearances.

Anyone knowing the whereabouts of 11 year old Liam Hayes is asked to call the Somerset Police department. Where this is murder or an accident we are yet to find out-"

Click.

I switch off the TV and watch it flicker dark.

People sit in silence, confused about what to do. I adjust my sweatshirt, pulling the hood over my head, stretching the oversized fabric over my ponytail. Sipping on my latte, I shake myself awake and blink hard to push away the sleepiness.

From the other side of the room, Ezra speaks.

"Where's Liam, Dad? I- I don't understand what's going on? Can...can someone just tell me what's happening...please...", my brother's defeated whispers sound as he cowers in the corner.

My brother almost never cries...but right now.

He's in pieces.

It's tearing him up inside.

Ezra's clueless confusion causes him to breathe harder and harder until he's practically hyperventilating. Walking over, I hug him tight as he sobs into my shoulder. Tears carry on slipping down my cheeks and I cry until the corners of my eyes are sore. The clinically white waiting room we've been moved to is almost full with distraught family, friends and probably half the Somerset Police Department. We sit in nervous silence for around an hour, awaiting any updates that may arise.

The clock ticks slowly as if time is coming to a stop.

The television plays the news at a low volume.

The hospital hums with life from the other floors.

Everybody's silent.

Even when Jennifer and Ed emerge from their oldest son's hospital room, people stay quiet. They just simply look in their direction awaiting any news. Jennifer sniffles and sits over with my mum while Ed explains that they've put Levi in a medically induced coma to increase the chance of full recovery.

People gasp in relief, but my Dad decides to speak, "what about Liam...any updates?"

Ed shakes his head, wiping his tears, "nothing yet..."

Jennifer cries out in agony, hearing her soft wails of pain wash over each of us. A few people start to leave as Jennifer begs to be left alone, but some stay for moral support. When she sips her coffee her hands are shaking so bad, it spills over the edge. Ed holds it up to her lips as he strokes her hair whispering over and over that it's going to be okay.

"It- it's my fault ed...its b-because of what i d- did..." she says under her breath. No one hears what she said apart from me and Ed, the low hum of chatter just about covers it. I look at her, and she looks at me.

Her usually composed face is blotchy and red from crying for hours on end, and her eyes have dark rings around them. Her disorientated look on her face as she stares desperately at me makes me feel crushed. 

My phone beeps, drawing my attention away from Jennifer. Turning down the brightness on my phone, I check my notifications. It's a snapchat memory. When I click on it, a video of Liam fills my screen with colour.

"This way..." Liam whispers quietly to the screen, tugging on the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He presses his face up against it, laughing under his breath as he leads me down the long corridor of his house.

I'm behind it so you can only see my shoes but you can tell it's me when I reply, "Don't go too fast Liam, the ice will spill out..."

Pointing the camera down I show the full cup of ice water then move it back up to see Liams cheeky smile.

We open the door of Levi's bedroom with a creak and step through the darkness. Liam clasps his hand around the cup and walks over to his sleeping brother. The alarm next to him emits a red glow so the camera manages to have enough light to only just see what's happening.

The clock on it shows 3:36pm.

Boy this idiot can sleep for a hell of a long time .

"Mum told me to wake your lazy ass up so-" Liam poured the cup of icey water all over Levi's barely clothed body.

Levi jumps up with a girly scream - water drips down his chest and from his now soaking hair. He's only in his underwear so screams again when he sees me.

"LIAMMMMM!" Levi screams as Liam bursts out into hysterical laughter on the floor of his older brothers bedroom. He rolls around on the floor while Levi charges out of the room and into his bathroom to get a towel.

Liam's still practically crying with laughter when Levi comes back in joggers - tackling him to the wooden floor as they scream at each other, laughing the whole time. Levi looks up at me and smiles a warm smile then gives one to a cheerful Liam-

The video cuts off there and I realise that Jennnifer was watching too. Tears are slipping down my cheeks and even when I wipe them off, they carry on falling. Placing my hand on her shoulder, I rub it soothingly while saying, "don't worry Jen, they'll find him..."

When saying this, I catch more tears that are falling down my face because...in all honesty...i'm scared they won't find him. Or if they do and he's...I gulp with nerves but smile sympathetically in Jennifer's direction. But in the back of my mind, I still can't help but think.

What if he's dead.

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Around half an hour later, Ed and Jennifer are once again taken away by the feds - presumably to talk more about Levi, since the search on Liam has been very lacking so far. However they seem to have been in there for a lot longer than usual? Police officers stand by the door, refusing to let anyone in, which is making people wonder what's going on.

Staring at the clock, I watch it tick by slowly, as if it's coming to a stop.

There's not much noise since there's only around 20 people left in the waiting room so the only sound in the room is from the rustling packet of salt and vinegar crisps that my dad is tucking into.

The world feels black and white in this dreary waiting room. Like all the colour in the world has been sucked out.

Each second blends into minutes and them into hours. One by one, people begin to leave until there's only around 7 of us left in here.

The room feels cold as the air conditioning blasts constant air from the vents. Goosebumps erupt on the surface of my skin, blonde hairs standing up tall. Yanking the sleeves of my hoodie down, I expect to feel warmer.

Only I don't.

I feel colder than ever. Like my whole body has been submerged in an icy body of water.

I hardly notice when Ed and Jennifer come back into the room. They're quiet, apart from the silent sniffling of a speechless Jennifer. I don't anticipate anything happening since they'll probably say the same thing they've said the last 6 times.

"He's dead." Is all that comes out of Ed's mouth. Nothing more. Nothing less.

I dont process what he said until I hear the thud of Ezra dropping his phone, smashing it to pieces.

Liam.

Dead.

Surely...he- he can't...i mean that can't be right? He's Liam? Liam isn't dead. He can't be dead.

"My baby...h- he's dead..." Jennifer looks like she doesnt believe it herself as she looks around in astonished silence, "Liam...is dead. M- my baby..."

Tears trickle down her face as she gulps, her face is blotchy and red, her eyes bloodshot, and outfit crinkled. She tilts her head, and directs her speech to my mum, "m- my Liam...died. Tell me he's not dead...tell me they're lying, that it's all a dream...TELL ME MY BABY ISN'T DEAD!" My mum bursts into tears as her best friend collapses in her arms, "Tell me it's not true...L- Liam can't be gone...i- i didn't say goodbye, i didn't get to kiss him...i- i didn't get to be there as he drowned alone in the water...he was alone...m- my baby was alone...w-without me..."

I can't speak.

I can't think.

I can't breathe.

All I needed was for them to be okay. I always thought that he would've been. That he would've lived. That he was alive. But now the worst thing that could've happened to him, happened.

My body drops off the seat and onto the solid floor. Sobbing, I cling onto my knees, knocking over a cup of coffee. Gripping onto the roots of my hair, I scream in pain at the thought of Liam. I'm crying so hard, I'm finding it difficult to breathe. Only i can't stop the angry tears that are falling onto my lap.

Surely this can't be happening.

Surely this is all a dream.

Surely he's alive.

The television illuminates a smiling photo of Liam, whose face has been broadcasted onto every news station in England. A woman with a stern frown on her face, pops up onto the screen. It's just loud enough that i can catch what they're saying :

"NEWS UPDATE : On August 28th, brothers Levi and Liam Hayes went missing overnight at their friends' beach house in Somerset.

The morning after vanishing, 17 year old Levi Hayes was discovered unconscious on the beach shore, after a violent storm - he was rushed to hospital immediately and is still in an unstable condition according to sources.

Now 31 hours after disappearing we have found a second body. 11 year old - Liam Hayes - was discovered only a few hours ago and sadly not alive. Due to large amounts of water in his lungs and a lack of evidence, the police concluded his drowning was an accident-"

I could see the TV screen go black as I collapsed on the floor against Ezra in the flower-filled hospital room where Levi was kept.

I heard the ringing of phones of people who were calling to comfort their family.

I could feel the hugs of Mr and Mrs Hayes as they clinged onto people with hopeless desperation.

And the taste of my salty tears that were streaming down my face were bitter and warm.

Sobs fill the room - it was official...

....Liam Hayes was dead.

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