Tagged by people. Idk who. I'm too lazy to check.

Name?

If you haven't figured it out yet, I won't tell you.

Height?

How many times do you want me to say it?

158 cm. Yes, I know I'm tiny. Yes, I know not all of you use centimetres. Get over it.

Favourite band?

Queen.

Have any pets?

Not anymore...

Last song you heard?

I uhh... Idk. I just woke up.

Self harmed?

Nope.

Do you ever want to get married?

Definitely not.

Tbh, I see myself to be alone in the future, sitting on my couch with a laptop in my lap while listening to Taylor Swift music, and with a parrot because I really want a fucking parrot. You know, scratch that. Any bird. I just really want a bird as a pet.

Do you like Chinese food?

Sure.

Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nope.

What's your biggest fear?

You know, I've got a lot of fears, there's no "one biggest fear" in my mind. I'm scared of losing the people I love, but I'm also scared of disappointing people. It's really all equally as scary.

But I guess one of my bigger fears is medically. Like losing my hearing or sight, or no longer being able to talk. I'm so scared of my body not functioning properly, I want to kill myself before something like that happens. Call me crazy, but it's something I really can't handle.

Afraid of losing someone?

As I just mentioned.

Do you have trust issues?

Nope. I trust myself when it comes to picking out the people who to trust. All my friends in primary school were annoying shits that only wanted to fight, so I know which ones are real friends, which ones are just annoying and which ones are fake friends.

Trust me.

Do you regret anything from your past?

I think everyone has thought: "I wish I could go back in time right now to fix this mistake."

Of course I've thought that too. But to be completely honest, I wouldn't want to change much. Missing a single day can change you. It's like watching a time travel series and then realising the development between these two characters is suddenly back to square 1 because the time traveler went back in time before the development took place. That sucks, right?

Well, your own development would get lost too. So I try not to think of what would've happened if I didn't do that, because it happened, and it's fine. I'm fine.

So, no, I don't have any regrets from my past.

Something you hate about yourself?

You know the sad thing is, I could make an entire list. If someone asks me what I like about myself, I can say a few thing and then stop thinking but with this question I can take my sweet time.

I once thought: "Is there really something likeable about me?" And I couldn't find anything.

Questions like these shouldn't be asked. It's like encouraging self-hate. Let's not go there.

Do you easily accept compliments? Or do you hate compliments?

I hate them. I mean, I love them, but I hate them.

It's because when someone tells me I'm good at something, or I'm kind, I feel flattered. But I don't know what to say back. A "thanks" is what I'm supposed to say, but a lot of times that simple word sounds like you're not grateful at all, and I don't wanna come off as if I'm not grateful. My initial response is brushing it off or denying the compliment. Which is 1000 times more ungrateful, but it's how I react to it. I just don't feel like I deserve the compliment, since I don't know how to thank properly.

I swear, my self-esteem is not that low.

Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?

Aw, God, I'm so tired of people saying crying is a weakness. That's because—life story here—ever since I was a young child, I cried easily.

My teacher told a four year old kid I shouldn't cry that much, because I wouldn't get any friends like that. I got told the same repeatedly throughout my first four years of primary school. I was bad at holding back my crying, but I was learning to at least try. Around my last two years of primary school I myself hated it when I cried. Even I saw it as a weakness.

Small things could get me crying.

This was not a sign of weakness, and I'm still pissed nobody convinced me of that. In primary school I was always alone and when I was not, it was because I had to play replacement for someone else. Most of the guys of my class usually made fun of me and the girls pretended to be kind while gossiping behind my back. Thinking back, my primary school days were a lot harder than at my current school, yet I never came home depressed or incapable of doing anything. I had every right to be pissed, or sad, yet I wasn't. I simply cried easily. And I had every fucking right to.

I've gotten better at it, but I do sometimes cry. In class too. But people don't look at me with a "there she goes again" face, because people are more socially acceptable and understand the pressure I'm on. I cried after my presentation because I had been so scared and my voice had trembled and I was so glad it was over but I hated the way it turned out. And people didn't ask me why I cried, or told me to stop being overdramatic. Once I had stopped crying, people asked me if I was alright and told me they loved my presentation.

To add to that, it's only the students being that understanding. My parents and teachers aren't, and I don't care about that at this point.

School puts so much pressure on me. I was bullied my first two years of secondary school and a part of my third year. This year I dealt with a lot of medical problems, including depression. My parents constantly asked what I was thinking but denied anything I said. The smallest thing going wrong could get me to break down.

Crying in cases like that aren't weakness. In that case, crying is deserved and it helps. And I generally don't see it as a weakness. Because it's a simple reaction of your body and it's not like it's healthy to hold back your tears.

Also, I'm sick and tired of the mentality of "crying is weakness" guys are confronted with. You can cry. Go ahead.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

TheLoneWanderer17

Who is the one person in this world that knows you best?

I can't say. My sister, maybe. But Idk, not really.

If you're being extremely quiet was does that mean?

Can mean several things. Like, I'm down, I'm not in the mood to talk, I'm observing, etc.

If you had one day left to live, what would you do first?

Cry and panic of course.

Tag 25 people

I taaaaaaag... whoever wants to do it.

Bai!