Waffleishyumyum ***STAR ISN'T IN THIS ONE BUT I STILL DEDICATED IT TO YOU BECAUSE YEAH

Perfectiondiscoglitter gasped. It was the pink of HER SOUL. THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AMAZING WONDERFUL GORGEOUS EVER SOUL SO THERE >3(

She took a look around. A wild Chick-fil-a was running around, and she saw a beautiful rainbow she-cat made of barbeque sauce with stars in her pelt and earbuds blasting heavy metal chasing after it and kill it with a food processor. "Gotcha!" she purred.

"YO IM IN YUR PRESENCE PAY ATTENTION TO ME"

The rainbow she-cat gasped and bowed in repentance. "Your majesty."

Perfectiondiscoglitter regarded her coldly. "Give me that Chick-fil-a," she demanded.

The StarClan cat dashed back and carried the wild Chick-fil-a back to her. Perfectiondiscoglitter snarfed it down in seconds.

As soon as she was done, 9 sporkly cats came down from above and circled around her. They all bowed dramatically and whispered her name in a cult-like monotone.

The rainbow she-cat from before was the first to come forward, her barbeque sauce glistening. "Hello, O Great One," she purred. "My name is Awesomesauce. I am your mother's sister. I am honored to be related to a cat as awesomely awesome as you."

"no duh-"

Awesomesauce smiled, and bent her head down to touch Perfectiondiscoglitter's. "With this life, I give you rick-rolly-ness. Use it to blast the eardrums of your Clanmates and make them CuLtUrAlLy InFoRmEd."

Perfectiondiscoglitter, obviously, was not hurt by the exchange of lives. She was immortal, immune, and generally awesome. Instead, it felt like Rick Astley was flowing through her veins. She had to clamp her mouth shut to just not rick-roll her aunt. Ah, who cares? "NEVA GONNA GIVE YEW UP"

The universe carefully booped her on the nose and brought her back to attention. She bit it, just for fun.

The next cat came forward. He was a flamboyantly lime green tom with orange eyes, and he clashed horribly; he should be in the clearance isle, no joke-

But he came forward and bent his head down to hers. "My name is ClashyMcPeltiva, and I am your grandfather. With this life, I give you the pOwER of CoMPaSSiOn\\jk dont worry i know thats stupid"

"well duh"

Perfectiondiscoglitter snorted. Of COURSE it was stupid. Who needed COMPASSION, of all things, when she was so awesome and rickrolly? Plus, why be nice to people when they can fan big leaves gently up and down to provide a breeze to you?

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her: Is that all we are to you? *pitiful puppy eyes*

"Yea kinda"

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her: WE QUIT

"No thank you," Perfectiondiscoglitter, said, momentarily killing them just for funsies.

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her: *flamboyantly sarcastic* Oh ok, since you're polite about it!

"K great keep doing what ur doing great job and blah blah blah"

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her: WHILE YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOTICING THAT WE EXIST, CAN WE HAVE A PAY RAISE?

Perfectiondiscoglitter: You have the pay raise that all the cats fanning me in the world are getting.

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her:

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her:

Cats gently fanning big leaves on her:

Perfectiondiscoglitter: That being 0.00$

ClashyMcPeltiva: *chokes and dies of laughter*

ClashyMcPeltiva: *in his dying breath* I give... you... the gift... to be Married to... Doge...

And then he was dieded.

Perfectiondiscoglitter smiled at the thought of marrying Doge. Doge would be the domestic HouseDoge while she went out and made a living suing sucky people, and Doge would clean the house and have a 6-course meal ready for her everynight when she got home. Ah, that would be the life.

Doge: *appears out of thin air after eating a loophole* Will U marry me? U much wow. I very liek u. I such ur wuv monkey.

Perfectiondiscoglitter: Very yes. So obviously. Much marriage vows.

Perfectiondiscoglitter: *stares at readers in annoyance* HOW DID Y'ALL NOT KNOW I SPOKE DOGE? IT IS THE UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE OF TBWFE!

StarClan coughed and said, "Sup bruh, we still need to give you your lives, yo."

Our hero nodded. "Can thy give me ye olde third aliveness?"

A Dragon walked up.

Perfectiondiscoglitter raised an eyebrow.

The dragon bowed. "I am Glorybringer, the child of Glory and Deathbringer. Because logic."

Perfectiondiscoglitter raised 14 eyebrows.

Glorybringer touched its nose to hers. "With this life, I give you the power to fly."

Perfectiondiscoglitter:

Perfectiondiscoglitter:

Perfectiondiscoglitter: ☠️

Perfectiondiscoglitter: *explodes in a furious rick-rolly bomb* I CAN ALREADY FLY YOU ~this segment has been cut due to ye olde inappropriate language~

Perfectiondiscoglitter: SECURITYYYYYYY

Security: *drags away Glorybringer* Time to go back to your own fandom.

"Hello, child."

"MOM?" Perfectiondiscoglitter asked, already smiling as she thought about how Buttstar's tears would flood IdiotClan when she told him.

Perfectionmom grinned. "Turns out being cannibalized is a lot more fun than I thought It'd be! Actually, me and Bonenomnom fell in love as he was devouring me! It was SOOO romantic how he told me how beautiful I was as he was gnawing off my toes!" Then she wrinkled her kinda-awesome-but-not-as-awesome-as-Perfectiondiscoglitter nose. "Tell Buttstar that his butt isn't as beautiful as he thinks it is and that I want a divorce."

Perfectiondiscoglitter:

Perfectiondiscoglitter:

Perfectiondiscoglitter:

Perfectiondiscoglitter: WAH =D

Perfectionmom ignored her perfectly awesome daughter's confusion. "With this life," she said, pulling something shiny out of her pocket, "I give you... RAINBOW PIKACHU GIGANTAMAX!" Perfectionmom proudly held out the shimmering Pokemon card.

Perfectiondiscoglitter gave a thumbs up, grabbed the Pokemon card, ATE IT, and yelled, "NEXT!"

The next cat to give a life was Dogcat. "Hi!" the dog-cat-thing-whatever-he-was purr-woofed. "With this life, I give you... THE ABILITY TO TRANSFORM INTO A REFRIDGERATOR AT ANY MOMENT IN TIME, AS MUCH AS YOU WANT."

Our hero's mouth dropped straight out of StarClan and bonked Nomnomnom on the head.

Perfectiondiscoglitter: *brain wow*

Perfectiondiscoglitter: JUST what I wanted for Warriorsmas! *turns to audience* To all who celebrate, of course!

Dogcat promptly leaped through a hoop, was given a best-in-show prize, (that our hero stole, obviously) and disappeared into thin air.

The next cat that approached the best cat in the universe was...

Tickprick?

Perfectiondiscoglitter raised her final, 27th eyebrow. "I think there was a mistake here... Can I return the Tickprick-from-wherever-Tickpricks-are-sold and get a refund?"

Tickprick:

Tickprick:

Tickprick: ~your free trial of living has ended~

StarClan: BAD TICKPRICK BAD

Tickprick: TAURTERSAUCE FUDGELSTICKS

Perfectiondiscoglitter: YO

Tickprick shook her head in disgust. "StarClan gave me community service for causing two foam-matress incidents. This was my community service."

Our hero gave herself another eyebrow and raised it. "Couldn't you have done the service to a... slightly less awesome community?"

Tickprick: *looks at StarClan with puppy-dog eyes* yeah, can I? *sniffle*

StarClan: HA LOSER *idea reject*

Tickprick: FINE. With this life, I give you... uh... a brain! Because you needed one!

Perfectiondiscoglitter: *furiously explodes in a refrigerator bomb* WELP U SUCK TICKPRICK I KILLED U TWICE

A very tasty-looking cat walked up next. It was almost impossible to recognize her, as she was covered in Tickprick guts.

"Hola! Soy Nomnomnom Dora!"

Perfectiondiscoglitter: *confusion level: 199%*

Perfectiondiscoglitter: You aint dead

Perfectiondiscoglitter: Oh yeah

Perfectiondiscoglitter: heheh sorry bout that*

*not sorry at all

Nomnomnom(Dora?) smiled. "No, no, don't be! I'm honored to have been killed by you, your highness."

Our hero smiled. 'Your highness' has a nice ring to it! I think I'll let this young padawan live.

Nomnomnom touched her nose to Perfectiondiscoglitter's. "With this life, I give you... A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF AWESOMENESS!" she said, proudly yeeting a coupon for lifetime supply of awesomeness at Walmart.

"cool thanks. i had a supply of awesomeness from every store except Walmart."

Nomnomnom ate herself and dissolved into nothingness.

The next cat to appear was Homosexualpelt. His pelt was made out of homosexuals. He smiled at her and purred in her very gay voice, "With this life, I give you... THE POWER TO BE GAY AND SLAY!"

Perfectiondiscoglitter shook her head. "There must be some mistake! Are you looking for Gorestar? I heard she was Goresexual... Cuz I'm totally straight. I married to Doge."

"Doge is a girl."

Our hero's jaw dropped again and somehow killed Nomnomnom(Dora?) again. "MY. LIFE. IS. A. LIE.*insert editorial comment*"

"Ok good 4 u bai"

The final cat to appear was TheBestStar. Perfectiondiscoglitter immediately shooed him away. "No, no, this is not okay, I do not interact with peoplez who think they are the best. Because IIIII am the best, not u."

TheBestStar: *le sad*

Universe: *flicks* *also flicks tissues so TheBestStar won't stain the persian rug*

TheBestStar: BUT CAN'T I STILL GIVE HER AN ALIVENESS?

Universe: HA LOSER *idea rejected*

Me: *Appears*

Me: hello, my name is Me! I'm the person(we think) writing this story!

Perfectiondiscoglitter: uh huh yeah sure you are

Me: *le angy* I AM THO

Perfectiondiscoglitter: that's great honey

Me: I AM OLDER THAN YOU

Perfectiondiscoglitter: I thought we went over this? I'm an elder, see? *joints creak*

Me: ANYGAYS, LET'S GIVE YOU YOUR LAST LIFE!

*gays appear*

Gays: FOR YOU LAST LIFE, WE GIVE YOU... THE POWER TO WRITE YOUR OWN STORY! ME WILL DIE AND NO LONGER WRITE THIS BOOK!

Me:

Me:

Me:

Me: hey wait

Gays: Don't worry, Me! You still get to give Perfectiondiscoglitter her leader name before you are bloodily cannibalized!

Me: Oh, that's good *relief*

Me: OH WAIT SHI-

Me: I mean shoot!

Me: cannabalism is only fun when I'm not being affected by it...

Gays: uh huh yeah sure

Me: ANYWAY YOUR NAME IS NOW PERFECTIONDISCOGLITTERAWESOMESTAR. AND NOW YOU WRITE YOUR OWN STORY.

Me: *gets bloodily consumed*

Perfectiondiscoglitterawesomestar: *watches innocently*

~this book will now be written by Perfectiondiscoglitterawesomestar~

A/N: hello this is Perfectiondiscoglitterawesomestar

I am awesome*

*But you already knew that