『 chapter xxiii : AREN'T YOU USED TO THIS? 』

WHEN JUNE HAD BLABBED TO DAPHNE ABOUT how everything was going perfect, she should've known better. Because the (current) youngest Swan, as usual, speaks too soon. Because the sliding doors open and out steps someone who had been the bane of June's existence for a while. Sam Uley stands high and mighty, dressed appropriately or the first time in a while, and his little puppies right behind him. June takes a shaky breath, watching her mom go around her and greet Sam warmly, her cousin smiling at his pregnant aunt as he hands her a gift which she lets Charlie take to the table. June's grandmother, Iris, steps up and welcomes them as well. Leah's slinked away from the carefree girl she had been the entire time. Star's back to her tough-girl exterior now that Jared's staring at her like some lovesick preteen. And Lyanna's face falls as she meets the longing eyes of Embry, who looks down when staring at the Makah girl is obviously too heart crushing to him.

                         June won't have it. Not now, not when something spectacular just happened. They ruin everything. "Samuel," June gives a faux smile.

"Hey, Junior," Sam seems surprised by her greeting.

June wants to snap at his easy going words, but, aware that people are there and she doesn't want to look like some maniac snapping at people, she smiles again. "The gift was a nice thing," She comments.

Sam nods, smiling back. "Emily picked it out."

That was it, the trigger word. The name rather. June's face contorts into anger and she stiffens, "Thanks for stopping by." She says and goes to turn but it pulled back. 

It's her grandmother, ever the was mediator, frowns, "Juniper, there's people around, let's not do this right
now." Iris warns.

Sam looks at her with an expression that says he knew all about what she was gonna say. "Daphne's my aunt, I have the right to come wish her well—"

"Got it," June interrupts. "Well wishes. Now, leave."

"Watch it, you half-breed," Paul Lahote comes up and sneers at her, obviously offended on his leaders behalf.

"Excuse me, you fu—" June starts, angered.

Jacob's at June's side before she can be fully outraged at his slur, his menacing form bigger than Paul's as he gruffly responds, "Why don't you watch how you speak to my girlfriend, Lahote?" He snapped.

"Or what?" Paul laughs.

Sam gives Paul a look, "Enough, lets go—"

"Or I'll bash your face in next time I hear you disrespecting her again, that's what." Jacob finished, his hands balling into fists.

June smirks up at Paul. "What he said."

"Just chill, Jacob." Embry's voice comes in.

"Don't tell him to chill," Lyanna's own words come up as she walks near them.

Embry sighed, "Lyanna, please don't start—"

June glares, "Don't tell her to not start—"

Paul steps forward to Jacob, "Just keep your little girlfriend on a leash, Okay?"

"Paul, fuck, I said enough dammit—" Sam's voice rises above all of theirs as they finally started getting the attention of the rest of the people in attendance.

Billy and Old Quil and Harry were all watching as Jacob's face turned into fury but before he could swing at Paul, Embry stepped in and intercepted his hit. June watched in horror as her boyfriend his ex best friend began tumbling on the ground, Jared and Paul hollering for Embry while Sam's outraged voice was ordering Embry to stop. June felt Star and Leah come up next to her, the former grinning like a maniac while the latter was furrowing her brows in distaste. June watched as Jacob's massive muscles flexed as Embry and he threw hits at another.

Lyanna shrieks, "EMBRY, ENOUGH!"

June just watches, stepping back as she saw her boyfriend land a good hit on Embry's jaw before Charlie and Harry stepped in and tried, June puts emphasis on tried, pulling the two boys apart. June heard Jacob and Embry streaming curses at one another, but it stopped once June found herself yelling:

"JACOB, STOP!"

Jacob did so immediately, shoving Embry off him whom stopped as well. Embry's lip was busted and was bleeding and everyone saw as Lyanna dropped her her knees, cupping his face as she made him look at her. Lyanna was helping him up in the next instant while Jacob got up as well. Embry and Jacob shared a somber look, Embry looking sympathetic for some reason as Jacob looks like he's in shock, confused as to what just happened. June's eyes flicker to Sam, who's just as somber as Embry with Paul and Jared wiping all amusement from their eyes for once. Everyone in attendance is looking at the scene that just unfolded in front of him. Lyanna takes Embry to a car June assumes is her own, putting him in the passenger side as she gives a fleeting look to her.

June steps forward, "Jacob ..." She says softly, so soft, she wonders if she's said anything at all. She tries to see if he has any injuries but she sees none. June tries to bring on some humor, "You can pack a punch, babe, you gonna fight for me all the time now?"

              Jacob turns to her, his brown eyes cloudy, "June, I'm sorry—I don't know what's happening to me..." He stops as he catches the eyes of his father, Billy, who's looking at his son calmly.

"Hey, it's fine," June assures him as she tries to touch him. "You're fine, you looked fine. Paul and Embry were acting like douche-lords so you hit him—"

As soon as her skin lands on the skin of his hand, June is reminded of the same fiery feeling that she had felt when she touched Jared at the diner all those months ago. But for some reason, her body didn't collapse in that same way that sent her to the hospital. It was a bearable pain. A pain that she knew that Jacob must be feeling right now for some reason. He met her eyes and practically yanked away from her.

"I've gotta go," Jacob says, his voice hoarse.

"No, Jacob, wait—" June feels panicked, her body can feel some kind of terrible fear to come.

He kisses her fiercely, a short but meaningful thing and her skin is met with the same fiery warmth. June's mind races as she watches Jacob push past Sam and ignore his fathers calls. Harry Clearwater takes Billy towards his truck, towards wherever Jacob's gone off to. June is paralyzed. She can't think. She doesn't even know how it all began, why she felt the need to have Sam leave, she just hates him because he hurt Leah and because he hurts his mother Allison by reminding her that her son is no different from his father. June can hear Star's yelling at Jared, you asshats ruined a unborn fetus' party! But Old Quil patted her on the shoulder to assure everything was fine. Star relented but ended up talking with Jared who was looking at her with the lovestruck face he had every time she was near. June just stood there, everyone watching her, waiting for her to react.

June looked to Sam. There weren't words to describe how much she wished she could be a vampire right then and there. The thought startled her, she had never resonated with her sister more in that moment, wanting to be a creature they feared. One that could spark intimidation and respect as well as disgust. June shook the thought away but didn't get it out of her mind until Sam spoke hushed words to their grandmother and turned away, Jared and Paul following.

"June?" It's Bella's voice. She feels her older sister tug her hand. "Party's over, come on, let's go home."

"No, I gotta find Jacob—" June tries to remove her sister hand from her arm.

Bella holds her though, "Hey, listen. For once let someone else worry about that and get in the truck so I can take us back home and we can watch some cringey movies and stuff our faces with leftovers, okay?"

Even though her heart was racing erratically June never loved her sister more than in moment.

•—•—•—•

MAYBE IT WAS THE FACT THAT SHE HAD BEEN really scared to read more of her great-aunts journal, Melanie had especially had a way with words, or maybe it was the fact that June was going out of her mind with worry because her boyfriend hadn't called her back. Ever since the baby shower — seven days, ten hours, and fifteen minutes ago — who's counting? Oh yeah, June was. Because her boyfriend was missing! Well not really, but he was missing her daily life, June could laugh at how codependent she had become on Jacob. She hated it as much as she wanted to hear his voice on the other line of the phone as it rung, not the cheeky voicemail he had, Hey it's Jake, leave a message and if it's June, I'll call you soon beautiful. June was only more worried every time she heard it, and more antsy. Sure he had sorta lost control and fought his ex best friend in front of fifty plus guest at a baby shower but June thought it could've gone worse. June was used to being called a half-breed and being muttered on about throughout the Rez but Jacob seemed outraged at the insult and went to the extreme to get Paul Lahote to apologize. June always knew Jacob was some valiant white and shining knight for her but she didn't know why he seemed so disgusted with himself. His kiss, before he rushed off, was something akin to a goodbye. You'd think, after losing her best friend months ago, she was used to getting  goodbye? But she wasn't.

She decided that getting her mind off it by reading Melanie Capote's personal journal could be the only way.

*

May 15th 1937

Is it impossible to think that the one you were made for, isn't who you want? Maybe the Spirits got it wrong when they decided to let Ephraim imprint on me. Is it possible that the stars got it all wrong? Edward said so. He always said he wants me. He said he knows I want him, too. How astute.

June paused, re-reading the name over and over again as she laid in her bed. Edward. Edward. Edward. He had loved her. June felt almost like she was betraying Bella by reading what someone once felt about him. She continued though, hearing the soft pattern of the rain on the window.

I told him we weren't in the cards, but he said I was already in his heart and who was to stop him to say I was his destiny? He said, you are the one I was meant to find. He said he'd rewrite the stars for us. Edward's fanciful and dreamy like that. I told him, do you think it's that easy? I want to run to him, have him wrap his cold arms around me while I warm him with my own. He's the epitome of the enemy, my tribe kills men like him, but Edward couldn't hurt a fly, let alone me. He's wonderful, he says he's soulless but he's so beautiful, it's absurd to even hear those words from his lips. Edward has shown me and told me of a life beyond the trees and the brush and the cliffs I've known my entire existence. He's quite convincing. I told him, Edward, no one can rewrite the stars, everything is keeping us apart, and I'm not the one you're meant to find. He seems to think otherwise.

June turned the page, her mind racing over the words Melanie had written down. She wrote how men from her tribe killed men like Edward, cold ones, like some sort of Native American vampire slayers. Just like the little Cullen-hating club that Sam and his friends formed. June pushed the thoughts away, looking down at the new journal entry.

⋆
May 25th 1937

Ephraim made a treaty with Edward and his family. They made the mistake of hunting on our lands, though Ephraim was assured they do not hunt humans, he had the treaty throughly made with binding words. Edward couldn't stop glaring as Ephraim held me to his side the entire time, like I was some trophy, his lovely and alive and much younger fiancé. Edward read the bits of my mind he could hear, smirking, how I said Ephraim wouldn't hold me so tight had he knew I spent my nights kissing Edward. No, the treaty would certainly be forgotten the moment that Ephraim would hear of that. Edward tells me we can run ... but father tells me I have a responsibility, many of the Spirit Warriors count on me, my power, my affliction, my curse. I won't ever bear a child if it means they inherit the burden of protecting an entire tribe and having these bruises on their skin. I'd sooner die. I am already. I can feel the kiss of death in my body. It wasn't such a frightening thing ... before, I would've died some loveless thing. Now, I have someone who makes me want to live — Edward. But I'll leave him, too, now. Now, I'll die loved and get to say that I was in love.

⋆
June 4th 1937

The Elders have done nothing but use me. My powers entranced them and Ephraim does nothing to stop them. It shouldn't surprise me. He cares nothing about me, only what I am and how I make his role as Chief and Alpha more stable. It's another reason I know I wasn't meant for him — why I want Edward to change me. He refuses and gets upset every time I bring it up. A council meeting happened the other day, as if they are catching onto my star crossed romance with Carlisle Cullen's son, speaking of how Mender's lose their powers and all connections with nature if they are to be turned. I care nothing for nature, all it's done is slowly kill me, the Elders kill me each time they make me use my powers, don't they see? I'm dying! I'm dying and they don't see! They don't care! Edward says Carlisle will heal me, but I want more, I don't want to die. I want to live forever, with him, with them. Before they make me marry Ephraim, before he forces himself to make me ... before it's too late.

⋆

June knows how much too late can hurt a person. But Melanie did die, there was no happy ending to her story. She died, killed herself with some poison berries. June wonders then, how painful it must've been for Edward to see her face and her voice and force himself to remember bed that she wasn't Melanie. But then, was she? Was she not exactly like her? The face and the voice and the strange power and the death sentence? June too, had been so eager to die, before. Before she would've died, too, a loveless little pretty thing. Now, she'd die loved and she too, would get to say she was in love. The thought startled her so violently. Love. She promised herself she wouldn't love Jacob, she couldn't, for his sake. June couldn't love him. But he was so terribly easy to love. It was no wonder everyone sorta had a smile on their face when he was near. It was no wonder that Jacob made her feel like dying wasn't what she wanted anymore. It made her determined to change her fate.

June shut the journal close, stuffing it under her bed. She got off her bed and rushed over to her phone. She punched in the number she knew by heart, " ... Hey, it's Jake. Leave a message! If it's June, I'll call you soon beautiful. "

She shut her phone, breathing in. She shoved her phone into her bag and tossed her hair into a ponytail as she slipped on her converse and knocked on Bella's door.

Bella, who was on the phone, blinked at her. "Hold on," She told whoever she was on the phone with. She smiles tentatively and gestures to it. "It's Angela. What's up?"

"Can I borrow your truck?" June asks, her eyes pleading.

Bella eyes her, "Heard from Jake yet?"

June shakes her head. "No."

Understandingly, she shuts the door and June hears her get the keys which hang on a forks high lanyard. Bella opens the door again, speaking to Angela again, handing the keys to June with a mumble of, "Call me if anything."

The door shuts and June smiles to herself and holds the keys tight in her hand before she bounds downstairs. Her parents are at a doctor appointment, because, excitingly, Daphne was getting contractions and the baby might be here any day now. June gets into Bella's truck and drive all the way to the Reservation. She gets to Jacob's house and pulls in, her eyes sweeping the area, yanking the keys out of the ignition. June pulls her hoodie on as she walks up the steps to the house.

June sighs as she knocks on the door. A few moments pass before the door opens, Billy's face greeting her. He looks equally elated and somber, "Juniper."

"Hey, Billy," June greets. Her eyes fall behind him. "I don't mean to just show up, but no one answers the phone — I was just wondering if Jake's home?"

Billy rolls his wheelchair more out, June taking a step back as he shuts the door behind him. Her face falls. "Jake came down something. It's mono, the doctor said. He's just been sleeping so much and I've been taking care of him, sorry for lack of picking the phone up."

June nods as he speaks but she's more worried if anything, her heart falls, "Oh, I had no idea. Is he okay—"

"Not really," Billy says immediately. "Sick and fatigued."

"Could I please see him—?"

"I'm afraid it's contagious." Billy frowns, his eyes sad.

"No, yeah, I was really worried," She admits. "I haven't heard from him since the party and I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

"He'll be doing better with bedrest," Billy gives her a hopeful smile. "Its a bit stronger than some cold, so it'll be a while before he's good and new."

June slumps. A while. She really doesn't want to cry in front of Billy, but she wants tell him she doesn't care if he's sick or that if it's contagious. June just wants to see him. June needs him. She can't spend a while without him, she doesn't have all the time in the world.

June musters all the strength she had, "Just, keep me updated? Please? I'd really hate for him to think I don't want to see him."

"I will, don't you worry. He's knows it's best right now for some distance," says Billy, wheeling himself back into the house. "You should get going, I hear you're due for another sibling any day now, don't want to catch anything."

June didn't think about that and nods immediately, watching Billy go inside the house, hearing the lock click. She turns and feels her eyes tear up, letting them mingle with the rain that's starting to fall down from the sky. June gets into the truck and has half a mind to just get on home. But then the thought of Melanie's journals and all fill her and she's left with answers. June backs out from the driveway and has one destination in her mind, one she'll probably regret the moment she steps a foot inside: her grandmother's.

•—•—•—•

SMOKE IS COMING FROM THE CHIMNEY OF IRIS Uley's home when her granddaughter pulls into her driveway. June takes a breath as she pushes the old truck door open and gets out, slamming it behind her. She wraps her jacket around her tighter, for some reason feeling like she was cold but her skin was melting temperate. June went into her grandmothers home and found Iris by the stove, mixing some tea. Iris glanced back as June pulled a chair put and sat down. Her grandmother got a tea cup from one of the wooden shelves and placed it right in front of her. June knew what it was before she even look down at it. It was the liquid version of those herbal pills Sue Clearwater made for her, to make the bruising go down and the temperature of her skin go down.

"You used your powers at the baby shower," Iris chiding voice comes up. "I saw you stomping those flowers that appeared at your feet."

"I didn't mean to," June mumbles. "I just started getting emotional ... I got out of control."

Iris hums, "I assume you're not up to that part of the journals of Melanie then?" She asks. "I read them, yes, she too had problems controlling it."

"I get anxiety if I read them too much," June says.

"I understand," Iris replies, sitting across. "But you come to me for answers as usual, when you have them in that diary."

"She's a very sad girl."

"She was a very sad girl." Iris corrects.

June hums. She takes a sip of her drink. "I've got a dilemmas." The young girl admits. "And my sisters busy with her friends and my moms at the hospital—"

"—oh, yes, by the way you're brother will be by morning."

June almost spit out her drink, "WHAT?"

Iris smiles, she's so lovely. "Yes, I saw the night before. Healthy and pale and brown haired and blue eyed, quite a big boy."

A relieved breath leaves June's lips. It was a boy. June was right. The dreams she had about that boy with blue eyes and a steel smile. Except this boy was pale? June's vision had him tanned, russet skinned. She wasn't a prophet like her grandmother. Maybe she must've mixed it up ... but he was gonna be here any hour now. The bittersweet sadness fled her soul like a bird fleeing a cage.

"That's good," June says earnestly. "Mom needs that."

Iris eyes her wearily, "Yes, a blessing from the spirits," She agrees proudly. "Now, what's your dilemma so to speak?"

June huffs, "I'm being over-dramatic, as usual."

"Tell me."

"Jacob hasn't called me in days."

Iris nods, "Billy says he's sick."

"Yeah, I jus came from there,"

Her grandmothers eyes looked intrigued, "And?"

The girl shrugged, "And Billy told me he was sick; no visitors, mono, it's contagious. I've just been worried out of my mind ... he would've called me."

Iris stands up, setting the stove lower and going to poke at the wood in the fireplace. "That boy, you care for him a great deal. I won't even touch on the subject of him liking you, anyone can see that he does. He never took his eyes off of you at the shower."

June feels that flutter inside her heart begin, "He makes me happy."

Iris smiles bittersweetly, "Be careful, Juniper."

June knows the warning. Be careful because you're gonna die and hurt him, "I knew the risk from the beginning, since we were little ... whatever happens it's on me, grandma." She says. "It's just good to know I won't die loveless."

Iris looks at her, "You wouldn't be the first pretty thing to have an ending cut too soon."

"Like Melanie. What exactly am I, grandma?" June asks simply. Her youthful blue eyes meet elderly blue ones. "Melanie had everything I do, the bruises and the death sentence, even the face. Did someone predict her death, too?"

Iris sighs, "No, it was just implied. Her magic, it was so new and beautiful, in the time of the Melanie years, no spirit magic had been awoken for many years before her. The Elders exploited it, used her to heal the sick and flourish their crops, you've read that far, yeah?"

June nods. "Why would they do that to her?"

"She says so herself," Iris replies. "Her magic was so pure, it was a drug to them. Melanie was amiable, she wanted people to love her and they did. But I warned you, using the magic too much, too unnecessarily, there's consequences."

"Then why do I need them?" June asked, helpless. "You've told me, since I was ten, that I was gonna die. Did you know I'd have these powers? Is this what kills me, how I die?"

"It's a puzzle to me, as well, child," Iris sighs heavily. "I've searched and searched ... ripped up old boxes of history and spoke to the others whom believe our magic still lives. I've cautioned you, not to use it, not until I have answers."

"Grandma," June cries softly, after they stay silent in their shared grief. "I've finally found a life worth living for, mine. I adore everything about it, I'm not ready say goodbye."

              Iris reaches over, cupping her cheek. "Oh, my girl. Aren't you used to this, Juniper? Aren't you used to saying goodbye?" She asks softly.

June looks at the window behind her. The rain only poured down harder, "I should be."

note: and the angst come back,,,,,the weak ass fight in the beginning, lmaoooo btw bb lyanna who's firenations oc looking out for her boi embryo 💖💖 but yes, jake's *cough* sick *cough* now, and he's already beginning to stay away from my smol daughter june ;——-))) the trains moving fast, you'll be finding out more about june and what she is, but it'll be stretched out into the next part which is eclipse but ;) and for those asking, it's obvious and not much of a spoiler but june will, sadly, die. *cries*